Family Breaking UP :(
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I dunno what happen to my father. Today he told my mum again to extend the housing loan for a longer period of time, he is already so old. Also, he owe the HDB $100K of housing loans and interest amounts to $20K a year. this money could let me pay for university. Also, when he earsn $2k a month, he never give extra to the family, one month only $600 , how to survive? When I study poly, also $600 . Then his new workplace, he asked his boss, dun put CPF, he took all the money for himself. He is never honest for his life.
I also dunno is he thinking... My mother suspect he got another family outside. When my mum asked him why must extend again, he said he got plans... what plans???? I think he just want to force us to sell the house and he sahll take the money again. I think we have to live from 4 rm flat to 1 rm flat again.
My degree only needs $30K for the whole course and we are paying $20K per year for interests???
I have posted similar stories before in the topic and they replied that somth is wrong with my father.
Please advise.
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Then my elder brother asked us to go and die. He said he rather buy a new car than paying the loan. He also said I will go rent a flat and you all jinks dun follow me, you bring bad luck to me. So I was thinking maybe only left me and my mother liao.... Sad ah.... for 2o years of my life alreay, there isn't a true family.
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Hi,
Perhaps there is something bothering your father and he can't talk about with the family. Things can only get better if everyone starts caring for each other. Perhaps, you can use a caring kind of way of finding out why he has been acting so wierd lately...
Regarding your bro who is just another jerk on the surface on the planet, ignore all the negative things that he might add on to you.
Concentrate on the positive side, do not be beaten.
Wish you Gd Luck!
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IThe current issue is already happening for quite some time already.... I not too sure what is happening maybe because I haven't seen enough of the world yet. But he always deny having an affair but the only thing is when he earn quite alot, he never buy anything. Even I paid for the TV.
My mum might be suffering from depression, she is quite sad qbout what happen if the banks takes over the loan and took all the past money that have been dumped into the flat. I actually was quite angry with what my brother has said. He always treat his friends much better than he treats his own brother and mother. He treats outside likegold and dirt to his own brother. Like the case when he subscribed the SCV Maxonline, he told me that now got free gifts, asked me to terminate mine and he subscribe. He said he will pay for it since I am ORD soon. After he pay for 2 mths, he threw it to me say he no $ . OK I pay. Then next mth, he got money liao, he still ask me pay. If this is a share share basis, we will split up the cost half half. although I am earning $450 per mth and he is earning $2k . My mum said dun bother him ask him to pay. Also, he also told me that he just want the free mp3 player, so I was thinking, WTF, u asked me to sign contract, now u push to me???? We quarrelled. then now he say he stop giving money to my mum liao, and next mth is chinese new year.
Now I really hated those who has been a ah beng his life or so called cheongster. They are really bastards. Like in my camp, he refuses to do work and act blur. Sad, worse come to worst, if anything happens I get a job and move to somewhere. From young, I already know my brother character, he is very money minded. like when he was in secondary school, he already dream of branded watches and wanted my dad to buy him but still we were living in 1 rm flat.... what to do, every family has its own troubles.....
Sad, I dunno how to console my poor mum who have worked hard all these years but with such disgrunted son. -
For now, do a part time degree course.. although it is tiring but overall it improve the cashflow.
Maintain your good r/s with your mum. You could only advise your bro to a certain stage.. if he does not listen.. let him learn the hard way. -
For now, do a part time degree course.. although it is tiring but overall it improve the cashflow.
Maintain your good r/s with your mum. You could only advise your bro to a certain stage.. if he does not listen.. let him learn the hard way. -
For now, do a part time degree course.. although it is tiring but overall it improve the cashflow.
Maintain your good r/s with your mum. You could only advise your bro to a certain stage.. if he does not listen.. let him learn the hard way. -
apologized for the multip-post..
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ok way out!
1). You should find a job ASAP! even if you are studying now, you should also find a job to help in the family income. If you already working, try to find a weekend job or job at night from 8-11pm, but dun tire your self out.
2). Ask your father about his plans. If he dun say, try to GATHER your family to the living room and wait for your father to come back then sit together as a family to discuss about the problem. Remember, the more people the greater the strength. Never ask individually about the problem, never helps, cuz he will just brush you aside with other excuses.
3). If point 2 dun helps or he refuses to discuss, bring your mum and you to a councellor where he/she will make an appointment for all to meet at an office with the help of the counsellor to solver the problem.
4). Is your brother working? if he is!, then better hint to him that he should contribute money to the family in terms of loans. Cuz perhaps your dad is in bad debts, but doesnt want any of you all to worry ... and have cash flow problems..etc. DUN EVER THINK HE got family outside, he already so stressed, DUN stress him further.
5). Ask if your mum can find an odd job outside? Since all the kids already grown up. She only have to guard the house and do some chores, so perhaps if she willing maybe can do some odd jobs at flexible hours, like only 3-4 hours a day only type etc, or better still those that can bring home the work to do wan.
6). Try to conserve electricity, water bills etc...and eat at home, family already not much money, so, should brief the family members to save!
Hope that helps, just my 2 cents worth.
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thanks for reply tho.... I thinking of study U but not enough money yet. Thinking of taking short courses and get a job and then study full time later. Really feel sad, Next wednesday is my ORD already and yet face such a big problem. I am afraid that my mum will be the first one to collapse. My brother kept saying harsh words like my father die liao no need to pay HDB liao. Such unfillial socn deserves retribution just oneday. I just see that my dad supportted me when I have unsolvable problems in camps that I just kept quiet.
I see my friend's family so good unlike mine. my colleague always boasted about his younger brother and is supportive duing exams or anything. but my brother doesn't even care a damn. His so called "good friends" is what he needs. Although my dad may have done something wrong , but still have to stand as a family and not running away and comes back when there are good things to share. To such persons I will never let him off. Due to my kindness, ppl have been using me .... -
And bring the problem of your brother, during the family "gathering",
ask him directly what is his problem? having earn money and NOT contributing?
Since your father will be there, let him decide on this and hope all the three could stress your brother.
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My brother is contributing and my mothers checkups expenses. Think he got so fed up that he wanted to live the family. My mum is already working . But what kind of bad debts is my father having?? He work then come back home, no business no credit purchases, so what is the so called bad debts? we even tried to ask my aunt and uncle to help out but my father always ended up quarelling and my uncle just left. My father kept making his mouth shut. When my mum asked him will the housing interest will be too high if extend again, he never answer her. He always say his friends taught him to do that. He also asked his boss dun contribute cpf, give cash . Every mth he earn how much , he never say also. Everything is a secret and my mum kept complaining to me, as a son, I feel sad also.....
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ok, give some time for everyone to simmer off. Dun press further for like another 1 month.
But when the time comes, COME PREPARED!.
i.e. if he asks for extension, then provide all the reasons why he shouldnt, like high interests, etc, maybe loses ability to pay and flat taken away etc.
Remember when discussing, whole family should be there, so that there is strength. Anyway, this time, die die ask him about the reason, so if he keeps quiet, then kept asking the same question, and keep asking and keeping asking.
And explain to your brother the family situation and hope he understands and contribute cuz its a family and both comes from the same mother belly and everyone is related by blood. -
I dun know, my father said he got plans . When my mum told you that interests will be very high he kept Quiet. Also , he seem to always ask my mother to work harder, get a longer hour job and high pay. But when its time for my father to contribute cpf to pay or cash, he kept quiet. so its like he divert all the funds from my mother instead. And these made a lot of people very unhappy. Also, long time ago, he used to spit at our doorstep when he goes out to work and scold this scold that. When we quarrel , he hides in the room , when we talk very valid reasons, he just lose his temper and start screaming and yelling like a mad dog. he never talks or debate properly like a gentleman, but always screams until the whole block can hear. Sometimes he will bring other people embarass moments into the fight. Got one time, he re-act the scence by kneeing down and this and that. Totally bullshit and crzy. got one time, he called the police and said that my brother threw things on the floor. The police also shake his head and nothing happens. Te police asked me whether either party got mental problems or not? How am I going to answer?
Last time when we stayed at 3rm flat. My father is not that bad and cares about the family like giving my mum extra cash for new year, new clothing,etc. After we move it, things go haywire, he stop caring, Like my mother wants to go checkup, my father ask her to pay herself, totally "BO CHAP" . He also everytime ask my mother to borrow from her sister but he kept all the money herself. My aunt even scolded my father "Shame on You" that's y he doesn't dare to go to her house anymore.
Tried spoken to my mum about talking to a councillar about the problems and they might give us better suggestions. But she doesn't want. Everyone is falling apart.... think seriously I might have been affected quite emotionaly already.... If you say my father is crazy but he still can bluff my mum and scold her "Why you never die yet" My mum took care of his paralysed grandma for 10years, he said he will pay her back but all the time my mum got back was spitting, quarrel, kenna conned,etc......
Really sad. Hope that you guys understand. I really dunno what to do already..... -
Get a PI and find evidence of your father's outside affair. Ask your mother divorce and sue him. You will be able to get a hefty sum. and with it, hired a professional killer and assasinate your brother.
Happily ever after. -
Damn to put it bluntly, your dad is a good for nothing. You should start planning how to punish him.Originally posted by Sliderwkw:I dun know, my father said he got plans . When my mum told you that interests will be very high he kept Quiet. Also , he seem to always ask my mother to work harder, get a longer hour job and high pay. But when its time for my father to contribute cpf to pay or cash, he kept quiet. so its like he divert all the funds from my mother instead. And these made a lot of people very unhappy. Also, long time ago, he used to spit at our doorstep when he goes out to work and scold this scold that. When we quarrel , he hides in the room , when we talk very valid reasons, he just lose his temper and start screaming and yelling like a mad dog. he never talks or debate properly like a gentleman, but always screams until the whole block can hear. Sometimes he will bring other people embarass moments into the fight. Got one time, he re-act the scence by kneeing down and this and that. Totally bullshit and crzy. got one time, he called the police and said that my brother threw things on the floor. The police also shake his head and nothing happens. Te police asked me whether either party got mental problems or not? How am I going to answer?
Last time when we stayed at 3rm flat. My father is not that bad and cares about the family like giving my mum extra cash for new year, new clothing,etc. After we move it, things go haywire, he stop caring, Like my mother wants to go checkup, my father ask her to pay herself, totally "BO CHAP" . He also everytime ask my mother to borrow from her sister but he kept all the money herself. My aunt even scolded my father "Shame on You" that's y he doesn't dare to go to her house anymore.
Tried spoken to my mum about talking to a councillar about the problems and they might give us better suggestions. But she doesn't want. Everyone is falling apart.... think seriously I might have been affected quite emotionaly already.... If you say my father is crazy but he still can bluff my mum and scold her "Why you never die yet" My mum took care of his paralysed grandma for 10years, he said he will pay her back but all the time my mum got back was spitting, quarrel, kenna conned,etc......
Really sad. Hope that you guys understand. I really dunno what to do already.....
1) Study hard and get a good degree (probablyUpper Class Honours)
2) Get a spanking high flying job (not be air steward, if u know what i mean)
3) Earn big bucks...make sure it is really big bucks
4) Buy a bungalow and employ 10 servants to serve your dad
5) After 3 months once he is used to this level of comfort, chase him out of the house.
6) For added effects, chase him out when he is dying
(WHO'S NEXT TO WRITE A SCRIPT?! ) -
regarding U fees, if you can get into a local U then you can take a bank loan up to 70% or so... maybe you can also work part time to make up the diff... tats wat some of my frens did... you can do it if you want...
Originally posted by Sliderwkw:thanks for reply tho.... I thinking of study U but not enough money yet. Thinking of taking short courses and get a job and then study full time later.....
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Think seriously, even I got a job, I will be like contribute most of my money to the family. Let me settle down with a job first then see how.
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it is hard for u to shoulder all the finances.....u should try getting ur bro to chip in, little by little. u should ask ur mum and dad to go to FSCs, they might be able to help in someways.
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How old are you? Your brother?Originally posted by Sliderwkw:I dunno what happen to my father. Today he told my mum again to extend the housing loan for a longer period of time, he is already so old. Also, he owe the HDB $100K of housing loans and interest amounts to $20K a year. this money could let me pay for university. Also, when he earsn $2k a month, he never give extra to the family, one month only $600 , how to survive? When I study poly, also $600 . Then his new workplace, he asked his boss, dun put CPF, he took all the money for himself. He is never honest for his life.
I also dunno is he thinking... My mother suspect he got another family outside. When my mum asked him why must extend again, he said he got plans... what plans???? I think he just want to force us to sell the house and he sahll take the money again. I think we have to live from 4 rm flat to 1 rm flat again.
My degree only needs $30K for the whole course and we are paying $20K per year for interests???
I have posted similar stories before in the topic and they replied that somth is wrong with my father.
Please advise.
I suggest you forget about your dad. Work along line with your mum. Your other brother? Make clear what's his stand? -
What kind of job do you intend to do? Marketing?Originally posted by Sliderwkw:Think seriously, even I got a job, I will be like contribute most of my money to the family. Let me settle down with a job first then see how. -
oh...NEVER marketing...esp.MLM. believe me. GET a conventional job.
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My elder brother say he wan to move away from the family...... He say my family very quareelsome. He say his so called "good" friend teach him one.... His friends said "Wah your family like that one ah??? He say he want to get rich by doing business, he say he want silence..... Sad.... 20years of brother, he rather believe his good friends than his family..
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U can't stop your bro if he wants to move out. If he fails to support yr parents ask them to sue him for maintenance.
Then u can rent out his rm.
If u are unable to service the housing loan, then better to downgrade to a 3-rm.
Study hard so with good results, u can apply for scholarship/ student loan. -
Game Over.........
Ha! Ha! Ha!