Family Breaking UP :(
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tink theres reali something gng on wif ur dad... but r u in uni now?
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Guess you can only let him be then? Did you asked him how of your mother?Originally posted by Sliderwkw:My elder brother say he wan to move away from the family...... He say my family very quareelsome. He say his so called "good" friend teach him one.... His friends said "Wah your family like that one ah??? He say he want to get rich by doing business, he say he want silence..... Sad.... 20years of brother, he rather believe his good friends than his family.. -
Never. I am not in uni. Currently still looking for job then see how. Not intending to study yet. He said he want to concentrate on doing business and dun bother aboutus. What can we do? Guess our relationship is not really that good as compared to my fellow friends.
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Sorry to hear about your situation..
About your brother.. He's be able to fend for himself outside by now.. old enough to work that is.. but if his thinking is like what you described.. seems like he's beyond hope.
Regarding your father.. if you think positive.. perhaps he might gambling debts? when people feel remorseful about what they've caused/done, they'll try to repent, and to salvage the situation. However sometimes it's just not possible (ie. Financial Problems, etc.), and plans can backfire, thus he might really need his family's care and concern..
If you really intend to ask if he's got a family outside or anything hurtful/despairing.. I recommend you do it while the rest of your family are around.. it might be unsafe.. you know.. violent outbursts from parents are common nowadays..
Oh yeah, try to speak to him in a non-hostile sort of tone.. should ease up any rising tension..
Anyway, if you take this matter negatively.. you'll end up stressing yourself out and don't you think your mother is suffering silently, seeing you in this state?
Your brother and father are already upsetting her enough, guess it's up to you to keep her going and providing her with the will to live.. wouldn't want self-inflicted harm to befall her, would you?
Take care
*hope you understand my bad phrasing
Polar
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take care
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hmm..perhaps not.
I think your brother may have wanted to get out of the spiral, so let him be, and wish him success in his business.
I believe what your brother wanted to do is to get some peace and start his own business, then when he is successful, he will come back and help you and your mum out of the spiral.
Think he may be right, cuz, if you want everyone to struggle out of the spiral at the same time, it may not be doable.
The idea is to get his promise that once he does well, he should help the family out of the crisis!!!
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Thanks guys for ur kind words.... We will see what goes ahead.
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well, one qn i would like to ask,has your father really been a father ever, from what you describe, he seem totally nonchalant about his family.
If he has always been like that,and never cared,you and your mom should abandon ship quick, cause from the looks of it, he might just run away with the debts left to you and your mom.
but thats my opinion.
the other alternative would be really to reconcile with your father,maybe refering to sometime in the past where he showed concern for the family to start a conversation to find out what really is going on with him,cuz frm the looks of it theres more than meets the eye.as for the debts,there is always a way, you could consider downgrading or renting a house or cancelling other extra stuff that u may not need, like your scv..stuff like that -
i think to ensure that you can concentrate on studying and get good grades, instead of worrying about money, 1st apply through your sub-dean for leave of absence for 1 semester. go out and earn as much money as you can during this semestral leave. you have a strong case and valid reason for this leave and your degree classification should not be affected. discuss this with your sub-deanOriginally posted by Sliderwkw:I dunno what happen to my father. Today he told my mum again to extend the housing loan for a longer period of time, he is already so old. Also, he owe the HDB $100K of housing loans and interest amounts to $20K a year. this money could let me pay for university. Also, when he earsn $2k a month, he never give extra to the family, one month only $600 , how to survive? When I study poly, also $600 . Then his new workplace, he asked his boss, dun put CPF, he took all the money for himself. He is never honest for his life.
I also dunno is he thinking... My mother suspect he got another family outside. When my mum asked him why must extend again, he said he got plans... what plans???? I think he just want to force us to sell the house and he sahll take the money again. I think we have to live from 4 rm flat to 1 rm flat again.
My degree only needs $30K for the whole course and we are paying $20K per year for interests???
I have posted similar stories before in the topic and they replied that somth is wrong with my father.
Please advise. 
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Another option is apply for scholarship.
Get the binded ones so confirm got job. They pay for ur poly/uni course but u have to work for them x2 after you finish course.
and NEVER doubt your father unless you got evidence. Your brother maybe just fed up at this moment and cant seem to get through this stage so maybe he's wans to take a break.
In this kinda situation you need to be calm. Giving urself stress will not help. What you need to do is note down all the options you can take to help the situation then try out all the options one by one. Dun say die b4 u even try man. Give urself chance. Sh*t things happen. This is life. When it happens. deal wif it. or you're gonaa live wif it 4eva -
Stand out on your own. Sometimes life leave you with little choices.Originally posted by Sliderwkw:Never. I am not in uni. Currently still looking for job then see how. Not intending to study yet. He said he want to concentrate on doing business and dun bother aboutus. What can we do? Guess our relationship is not really that good as compared to my fellow friends.