i like A, B likes A. B jio A, A ask me for advice...
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You're right. At both your ages and the way she's reacting, both of you probably won't match up.Originally posted by bladez87:no la...initially i no like her de...but bcos she showed me concern when i needed the most. den i did the same for her. i said how i wish i got a sister like her, den she said she oso wan a didi. so we started calling each other jie n di lor...
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hmm..... see loh. its up to her. if she cannot accept younger guys, then too bad. if she can, then good for u. but since she did say u're too young..... then theres nothing u can do also.Originally posted by bladez87:1 very obvious reason is bcos she is 20 and i m 17. she once commented tat i m too young for her... -
she juz broke off with a 18yo guy...who i personally think is more immature den me...but tat is juz me...
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y wouldnt we match up? haha somehow i oso noe tat...
rite now she sick for like fri sat sun mon. 4 days le...seen a doc but condition kept worsening. nth i can do...hai feeling so useless. i oso donno do wat...wat shld i do ah?besides cheer her up via msn...i donno wat else i can do le... -
You did the right thing.Originally posted by bladez87:n i actually encourage her to go steady with B...tell me m i stupid or wat?
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logically i did the right think.
emotionally i juz stabbed myself many many times with a knife... -
There probably won't be much you can do under the current situation...Originally posted by bladez87:y wouldnt we match up? haha somehow i oso noe tat...
rite now she sick for like fri sat sun mon. 4 days le...seen a doc but condition kept worsening. nth i can do...hai feeling so useless. i oso donno do wat...wat shld i do ah?besides cheer her up via msn...i donno wat else i can do le...
Personally, I think you're doing JUST FINE....
Give her a little space to breathe? -
No, you cannot compare like that, thats the stigma in most guys, they think when gals broke up with guys, its usually because the guy is a jerk. Please don't fall into a trap like this. Simply speaking, if jerks knew they are jerks, how could they be jerks?Originally posted by bladez87:she juz broke off with a 18yo guy...who i personally think is more immature den me...but tat is juz me...
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erm so wat shld i do ? how to give her space to breathe?Originally posted by Devil1976:There probably won't be much you can do under the current situation...
Personally, I think you're doing JUST FINE....
Give her a little space to breathe? -
bladez87, u sound like someone i know...muhahaha.....
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Depends. You could always visit her with hot porridge, go her house and cheer her up. However, if she asks why you're doing this...Originally posted by bladez87:y wouldnt we match up? haha somehow i oso noe tat...
rite now she sick for like fri sat sun mon. 4 days le...seen a doc but condition kept worsening. nth i can do...hai feeling so useless. i oso donno do wat...wat shld i do ah?besides cheer her up via msn...i donno wat else i can do le...
You can say:
1) I'm your beloved didi, Jie is sick so i must take care of her.
2) I like you lor.
(If i were you ar, i'll stick with 1, cause most girls treat friends as friends, didi's as didi's... and since you just want to be close to her, this is best.)
If you do want to confess some day, at least make sure that she likes you in that sense. If not, most likely youÂ’ll be rejected. I speak from experience...
But as i said in another post, you need to be confident, and have high self-esteem + be decisive. This are the qualities girls will fall for.
Well good luck, you'll have lots of practice in the future. -
thanks pal. prob 1) i donno her home numberOriginally posted by _Aaron_:Depends. You could always visit her with hot porridge, go her house and cheer her up. However, if she asks why you're doing this...
You can say:
1) I'm your beloved didi, Jie is sick so i must take care of her.
2) I like you lor.
(If i were you ar, i'll stick with 1, cause most girls treat friends as friends, didi's as didi's... and since you just want to be close to her, this is best.)
If you do want to confess some day, at least make sure that she likes you in that sense. If not, most likely youÂ’ll be rejected. I speak from experience...
But as i said in another post, you need to be confident, and have high self-esteem + be decisive. This are the qualities girls will fall for.
Well good luck, you'll have lots of practice in the future.
prob 2) i don have her address
prob 3) she is very sick n i donno wat she can eat n if she able to leave her house.
If you do want to confess some day, at least make sure that she likes you in that sense. If not, most likely youÂ’ll be rejected. I speak from experience...
what do you mean by this line??? wat like me in tat sense?
confidence esteem n decisiveness is not obtained in a day...quite hard for me... -
Ask for it? Or after she gets well you could treat her to ice-cream. Most girls would like it. Say something like "4 days sick, must be eating lots of sad food, here, i treat you some sweet food to make you happy."Originally posted by bladez87:thanks pal. prob 1) i donno her home number
prob 2) i don have her address
prob 3) she is very sick n i donno wat she can eat n if she able to leave her house.
If you do want to confess some day, at least make sure that she likes you in that sense. If not, most likely youÂ’ll be rejected. I speak from experience...
what do you mean by this line??? wat like me in tat sense?
confidence esteem n decisiveness is not obtained in a day...quite hard for me...
If she's very sick then don't ask to meet her outside. Ask if you can go her house to see her a bit. (Depends on how good your relationship with her is...). Just don't do anything out of what you would ordinarily do. Being sweet is one thing, too sweet is another...
That line ar..? Likes you as a lover, not as a didi. Else you confess, get rejected, relationship strained. Horrible feeling. You don't want to go through it, really.
I'm not asking you to have these qualities in one day. Heck, i achieved it through several years, and still haven't got all of it yet. Take some time. You're still young after all.
Post Secondary life will change and mature you. Be patient.~
P.S (Porridge/Congee is standard food for very sick people. Maybe can bribe her with a sweet if she's been eating too much porridge...) -
haha thanks pal!
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curious ah, how u got to know her?
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thru a schoolcamp. went genting for 3days 2 nights. den only really gotta noe her after we came back to singapore. we started chatting one day bcos my msn nick was quite depressing. so she come n cheer me up. den the rest as they say is history...
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well..... i suppose... what else can u do but repress your feelings now... when u're 20 at least, the age difference becomes less significant.Originally posted by bladez87:thru a schoolcamp. went genting for 3days 2 nights. den only really gotta noe her after we came back to singapore. we started chatting one day bcos my msn nick was quite depressing. so she come n cheer me up. den the rest as they say is history... -
Just let her be and care for her from a distance.... From the current age situation & from your context, she should be holding the 'superiority'... If she's really interested in you, she'll probably hint you or just let you know...Originally posted by bladez87:erm so wat shld i do ? how to give her space to breathe? -
she should be holding the 'superiority'Originally posted by Devil1976:Just let her be and care for her from a distance.... From the current age situation & from your context, she should be holding the 'superiority'... If she's really interested in you, she'll probably hint you or just let you know...
huh wat u mean???
care from a distance? like how??? -
what he means is that she's in a superior position now. all u can do is to wait to see if she will accept u for more than a brother or not.Originally posted by bladez87:she should be holding the 'superiority'
huh wat u mean???
care from a distance? like how??? -
sian...nah i decided not to interfer. i don wan a gf...i cant have a gf now...haha i juz scared later she has a bf den i this didi will disappear le...
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Are you sure of your feeling for her?
Is it a 'jie di love' or a bgr kind?
You tend to fall for pople very easily and changes 'target' very fast.
Maybe she really treats you like a bro, and that's why the nice and caring treatment.
If everyone cares for you like what she did, are you going to develop likings for all of them? -
Maybe u should mix around with other frens to get her off ur mind. Ur affection for her is hidden, y u so 'sha' neh?
Your Fear
1)scared of rejection(shiit man)
2)scared of losing this friendship(jialat)
3)scared of getting embarrassed(beri malu)
4)scared that u r not good enuff (sianz)
5)scared that other of her admirers r better than u(die liao)
Scared of wat? Who knows she has some kinda of 'feel' towards u?
Grab the chance, let her know how u feel, u have to overcome ur fear. Kana reject, then retreat loh, no big deal! and dun forget to tell her tat u dun want to lose ur f/s with her becuz of this.
If she still treats u as a fren, she will not avoid u bah, if not y waste ur time on some1 who dun bother.
Frankly speaking, if she dun have the same kinda feelings for u, Confessing to her only make things worse. In the end, u both get paisay den lose contact, jialat.
Another thing is: Is age really a problem?Ask urself wat u want, if i were to be u, i will tell her i admire her. I mean, opportunity seldom knocks twice. Age isn't a problem as long as the chemistry is there. If she dun like me, then i ve no choice. At least i know whether i got chance anot rather than holding a torch for her. If she dun hve feelings for u, no matter u wait short or long, the amount of suffering is still the same. -
bcos i grew up in an environment tat is deprived of love n concern. when a gal treats me good, most of the time i will fall for her. if a guy treats me good, i will repay the favour. how i feel towards her...i wan to b her support, 1 who she can turn to for help, mayb i m juz scared tat i will lose her care n concern if she gets a bf...not every1 will care for me like the way she does. ya i think she really treats me as a bro...n thus the treatment...Originally posted by LilO gIrL:Are you sure of your feeling for her?
Is it a 'jie di love' or a bgr kind?
You tend to fall for pople very easily and changes 'target' very fast.
Maybe she really treats you like a bro, and that's why the nice and caring treatment.
If everyone cares for you like what she did, are you going to develop likings for all of them? -
i m selfish...i don wan lose her concern for me...yet i don have the courage to confess my feelings. den again i oso donno...
it is like i wan her to b happy, if she gets a bf n she happy i oso happy for her...yet i fear tat if she gets a bf, i might juz disappear. no more care n concern from her anymore. thus the conflict. and age doesnt matter to me. at least 3 years is ok...but if she is working n i m studying of cos tat is not ok...i mean now we both in school studying...to me tat is alrite...but to her i not so sure liao...prolly 3 years is a lot of difference to her.
somemore right now she willing to share alot of her feelings n secrets to me. almost everything she oso tells me. n i too oso almost everything oso tell her...well this is 1 thing i havent told her yet...
we r close, quite close. i only stick to her when go out with her frenz. of cos i do mixed around with them but most of time when walking i will b with her. den went bbq we shared food n drinks, well she oso shared food n drinks with tat other guy. den she kept saying she wans this n tat i think she treats me as a close fren or a didi. tats wat i think...den for xmas, i wanted to buy ankle socks yet she noes i quite embarassed about buying it, she went to buy me a gift n bought me 2 socks.i was quite surprised tat she did tat.
currently there r 3 guys who like her.
Me
B- her sec school classmate who is 20yo now in NS
C- another campmate.
she bought for B chocolates for xmas. bought for C the same gift. i asked y chocolates she said bcos C likes her, n she don wan give him wrong ideas. so her fren recommended on a perishable gift which obviously is the chocolates.den for me she bought a Tee n 2 socks. obviously she doesnt noe i like her. or she will have bought a perishable gift for me too. i asked her y she no buy perishable gift for me , she replied" u different ma,u my didi. of cos can buy non perishable goods. C like me n i don wna give wrong idea so muz give perishable gift."
tat is y i oso don wan lose a jie jie like her...she treats me very good. i scared later i drop to the level of C...end up getting chocolates =.=" n from wat i noe she trust me more den her best fren now.
haix lost lost lost...at a loss of wat to do...
wateva move i make i oso will lose