Is it a big problem if your partner forgets your bday?
-
OKie, sorry for whining again.
let's say you know someone cares about you very much a little while before this. then he went back for a vacation in Malaysia, you wrote to him, he replied, you wrote to him again and then he stopped writing. And today is ur birthday and he totally forgot. No phonecalls, no emails, no nothing.
Only disappointment.
Before he went back, he has convinced me that he cared enuff and I had assumed he would remember. We have spent a lot of time together before he went back, and he even thanked me for giving him good memories to bring back home. And at that moment, when he walked me back to my dorm for the last time before he went back, I truly believe.
that I had found love.
But maybe I am wrong.
Do you think it is fair for me to judge him based on him forgetting my birthday? He has given his 'gift' to me a while ago actually cos he told me he wouldn't be here, but still I would like him to at least email me to let me know he remembers....
i.c.y -
no excuse whatsoever to forget your lover bthday!
-
yea. i think so too.Originally posted by blowfish:no excuse whatsoever to forget your lover bthday!
i think I should have a cold war wif him from now on.
i.c.y -
Some people are horrible with dates. I'm one of them. I can even forget my own birthday!! Trust me on that one. My friends have to remind me that its my birthday.
If he forgets it does not mean that he does not care. It can be a really simple reason that he forgot. -
but if he really does care, wun he make an effort to remember?Originally posted by elindra:Some people are horrible with dates. I'm one of them. I can even forget my own birthday!! Trust me on that one. My friends have to remind me that its my birthday.
If he forgets it does not mean that he does not care. It can be a really simple reason that he forgot.
i.c.y -
don cold war.. sit down i talk.. ask him why ?
see what his reason.. tell him how you feel.. -
he is not here...by the time he reaches here, it wud be too faraway from today le and i wun know how to bring the topic up without sounding like a whiny little kid..Originally posted by blowfish:don cold war.. sit down i talk.. ask him why ?
see what his reason.. tell him how you feel..
plus i dun wan to tink i m being demanding on him...
i.c.y -
cannot call through phone or write email?Originally posted by icyprincess:he is not here...by the time he reaches here, it wud be too faraway from today le and i wun know how to bring the topic up without sounding like a whiny little kid..
plus i dun wan to tink i m being demanding on him...
i.c.y
Good thing was he at least bought something for you. -
its your birthday today .....Originally posted by icyprincess:he is not here...by the time he reaches here, it wud be too faraway from today le and i wun know how to bring the topic up without sounding like a whiny little kid..
plus i dun wan to tink i m being demanding on him...
i.c.y
it gives you the right to be a whiny little kid for today
-
But you might really be overreacting on this one...?Originally posted by icyprincess:he is not here...by the time he reaches here, it wud be too faraway from today le and i wun know how to bring the topic up without sounding like a whiny little kid..
plus i dun wan to tink i m being demanding on him...
i.c.y
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
-
The fact that he gave you a gift means that he remembers. Give him the benefit of doubt since he could be caught up with something else at the moment. If you truly have found love, would you love him enough such that his failure to call/email you is a cause for concern (possible mishap) rather than a cause for dissappointment?Originally posted by icyprincess:Do you think it is fair for me to judge him based on him forgetting my birthday? He has given his 'gift' to me a while ago actually cos he told me he wouldn't be here, but still I would like him to at least email me to let me know he remembers....
anyway, happy birthday! -
last yr, yu fu din forget.....he merely remembered the wrong date
but made up with a huge....eerrmm.....basket of fav flowers sent to my house......
this yr, i reminded him by bringing him to tiffany -
Yo Icy Jie.
I seriously think he could have been caught up in the recent Tsunami stuff. No, Probably nothing serious, but given the state of emergency in that area, I think he has more things to do than to email to you wishing you a happy birthday.
But if heÂ’s not in one of the affected areas, then perhaps you should just talk with him and ask him about it. He should have his reasons, or he just plain forgot. Some times when we get caught up in something, we just do it all the way, ignoring the rest of the world. It could happen.
But I think you’re feeling very insecure about this whole ‘relationship’ thing. But if this is the way he is, being forgetful, you may have to live with it should you decide to be with him.
Its your birthday! Get out of the house and have some fun! DonÂ’t mope about someone whoÂ’s not with you now, go out for some cheer! Cooping yourself up will only make you more depressed!
From your Didi
Aaron -
before my birthday
i already jia luo da gu tell him...~
take the initiative to 'remind' him ..
nothing wrong with it also -
Please don't cold war cos it does not solve any problem. Not only will you still feel upset but if its all only a misunderstanding, you will also upset him too. I am sort of speaking from a recent experience and thus I advise you that finding a proper moment to have a talk with him is the best thing to do. Btw guys are really terrible with dates even if we make the effort, take me for example, eventhough I once use her birthday as my company password to remind myself but sometimes I still get her exact birth date wrong.
-
What I can say is guys are human too
They forget
Forgetting doesn't mean that he doesn't care
It could mean that he was too caught up with other things that he forgot
It could mean that he is horrible with dates (some ppl are like that and it doesn't mean that he doesn't care)
If his other actions towards you show that he cares, don't pin him down on one mistake. As well, some people think birthdays are no big deal. It's just a date to tell you that're older. -
Many guys are like that...they forget dates...can get too carried away or preoccupied with their work and stuff.... it seems like he cares coz he did spend time with you...you would know better, how he really treats and feels for you.
If you are really upset about it, maybe you can try talking to him...dun give him the cold treatment, he probably wouldnt have a clue why you are ignoring him either and it would just make things worse..
cheer up and enjoy your birthday!!! do whatever you like, eat, enjoy!! -
i can't agree more with wad elindra said.Originally posted by elindra:What I can say is guys are human too
They forget
Forgetting doesn't mean that he doesn't care
It could mean that he was too caught up with other things that he forgot
It could mean that he is horrible with dates (some ppl are like that and it doesn't mean that he doesn't care)
If his other actions towards you show that he cares, don't pin him down on one mistake. As well, some people think birthdays are no big deal. It's just a date to tell you that're older.
jux because someone doesn't love you the way you expect them to (as in the case of remembering your b-dae), doesn't mean they don't love you at all.
perhaps you shld stop dwelling on such negative tots and focus on the good times you had together? -
frankly, if people forget my birthday, i won't even bother or notice.. coz most of the time, i won't even remember it myself...
i try not to forget others' but i do.. coz my mind is like a sieve...
just remember for some guys, they love you enough to give their right arms to make you happy.. but that may not include remembering stuff... coz they may be unable to
-
Haha I can't agree more with bear.Originally posted by the Bear:frankly, if people forget my birthday, i won't even bother or notice.. coz most of the time, i won't even remember it myself...
i try not to forget others' but i do.. coz my mind is like a sieve...
just remember for some guys, they love you enough to give their right arms to make you happy.. but that may not include remembering stuff... coz they may be unable to
I'm like that too -
oh.... im sorry that i forgot ur birthday !!!
happy birthday !
God bless
Let it snow......... -
thanks everyone for the reply..I guess I will give him the benefit of the doubt. But still I think he has a lot of explaining to do when he gets back here. I never doubt that he cared for me before he went back, it is just that after he went back, things seem to change...I am really afraid that he has forgotten me, because he hasnt contacted me for a very long time..the last email I wrote to him was like a week ago...but he hasn't replied or anything *sigh*
Do you think guys can change this fast? We were still really close the day before he left, we even went out the whole day and that was the most beautiful day in my life for this year...
i.c.y -
Erm personally... no offence k?
It's like... when he gave u the present, i guess in his mindset, its like he tot tat that is a way of greeting u happy birthday and tat on the actual day, there's no need for him to greet again (perhaps tat's his mindset). Or like wat the others had said, he had plainly forgotten due to being busy...
And also... if he really meant to wish u, there's no need for u to even throw hints just to get ur desired outcome... do u truly feel happy? Now tat u hinted and nothing comes out, dun u feel even worse...? Just be mature bout it... If things comes, it comes, no need to hints... Happy "belated"? Birthday~
Dun think so much... cherish this relationship~ -
Are you kidding? When I forgot my anniversary, I nearly died the same day.
-
Yea, I know I should cherish all the memories we have created together instead of focussing on a small tiny thing like this. So now mebbe I should concentrate on all the good things he has done for me instead of thinking too deeply into this.Originally posted by NSJon:Erm personally... no offence k?
It's like... when he gave u the present, i guess in his mindset, its like he tot tat that is a way of greeting u happy birthday and tat on the actual day, there's no need for him to greet again (perhaps tat's his mindset). Or like wat the others had said, he had plainly forgotten due to being busy...
And also... if he really meant to wish u, there's no need for u to even throw hints just to get ur desired outcome... do u truly feel happy? Now tat u hinted and nothing comes out, dun u feel even worse...? Just be mature bout it... If things comes, it comes, no need to hints... Happy "belated"? Birthday~
Dun think so much... cherish this relationship~
i.c.y