Is it a big problem if your partner forgets your bday?

• NSJon

  30 Dec 04, 01:16

  Yeap yeap tats the way~ just let this relationship have many more happy and lovely memories instead of bad hiccups. Wish u both all the best!
• ditzy

  30 Dec 04, 01:17

  I won't die this year, nor next year, but one thing that is going to die is my wallet. I remember her birthday, and that is the day my wallet will breathe its last breath.
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 01:31

  Originally posted by NSJon:

  Yeap yeap tats the way~ just let this relationship have many more happy and lovely memories instead of bad hiccups. Wish u both all the best!

  thanks.
  it reminds me of a story i read a while ago.
  it doesn't matter if he does not bring home the present, because his love is already a gift to me.
  i hope dats true.
  
  i.c.y
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 01:32

  Originally posted by ditzy:

  I won't die this year, nor next year, but one thing that is going to die is my wallet. I remember her birthday, and that is the day my wallet will breathe its last breath.

  wa..getting her a diamond ring a?
  
  i.c.y
• ditzy

  30 Dec 04, 01:35

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  wa..getting her a diamond ring a?
  
  i.c.y

  Let me see, a hair spa and a business class ticket to Oz to see me for a week. Not cheep, not cheep.
• aH_v

  30 Dec 04, 01:41

  Well.. don't be stupid and hurt the relationship over small trival matters like this.
  
  There are tons of ways to care for a person and to show affection and love. Of course, remembering birthdate is one of those, but only 'ONE of THOSE' and nothing more.
  
  Guys are not wired to remember dates and anniversary well. This is why they inverted calender, organisers and so on to help them remembers.
  
  Regardless, a healthy relation is about 'what you can offer to the relationship and not what the relationship can do for you.' You may like to remind him or something but to initial a cold war.. well, it's still stupid no matter how I see it.
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 01:42

  Originally posted by ditzy:

  Let me see, a hair spa and a business class ticket to Oz to see me for a week. Not cheep, not cheep.

  how lucky she is to have a boyfren like u then
  
  i.c.y
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 01:44

  Originally posted by aH_v:

  Well.. don't be stupid and hurt the relationship over small trival matters like this.
  
  There are tons of ways to care for a person and to show affection and love. Of course, remembering birthdate is one of those, but only 'ONE of THOSE' and nothing more.
  
  Guys are not wired to remember dates and anniversary well. This is why they inverted calender, organisers and so on to help them remembers.
  
  Regardless, a healthy relation is about 'what you can offer to the relationship and not what the relationship can do for you.' You may like to remind him or something but to initial a cold war.. well, it's still stupid no matter how I see it.

  yea, I guess I am just too sensitive about things like this. I am insecure too, so I used my birthday as a way to gauge how much people really care about me. I am used to thinking that if they really do care, then they would make an effort to remember.
  
  I guess I need to grow up and stop thinking and sulking like a little kid.
  
  i.c.y
• m)phosis

  30 Dec 04, 01:48

  jus an occasion.. dun be too sensitive abt it... dun bcos of a forgotten birthday to affect both of u all relationship...
• ditzy

  30 Dec 04, 01:49

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  how lucky she is to have a boyfren like u then
  
  i.c.y

  As long as she feels happy I'm all for it. Giving her comfort and satisfaction might come with a price but most importantly, live for the moment, the money is something I can earn back again in future, and the most I just save a little more. Seeing her happy, is something i can never afford.
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 01:54

  Originally posted by ditzy:

  As long as she feels happy I'm all for it. Giving her comfort and satisfaction might come with a price but most importantly, live for the moment, the money is something I can earn back again in future, and the most I just save a little more. Seeing her happy, is something i can never afford.

  you said the same thing he said before he went back.
  he said he would go ice skating wif me even when he hates it cos he wans to see me happy...
  and evtime i asked him why he spent money on me, he wud answer the same thing as well.
  i miss him. badly.
  
  i.c.y
• FeowFeow

  30 Dec 04, 10:29

  Dear Icy,
  
  Frankly, this is rather trivial, but @ the risk of making u angry, pls note tt I'm probably older than u. At 27, I qualify as an Old Mdm here.
  
  There're times when a person might be so tired, or so caught up in work, he/she juz forgets ev. thg else. I'd been guilty of tt too. Can u imagine? I wished my ex-boss Happee Belated B'day 1 mth AFTER his b'day Sometimes I forget other special days too, & so does my guy.
  
  But when reminded, we'll always try to make the special day nice for both. At times, it's ez to miss the forest for the trees. But I'd rather a guy who forgets my b'day & stays true to me, than some smooth guy who remembers my b'day, but @ the same time, oso remembers his other gfs' b'days.
  
  To make a r'ship work, why sweat the small stuff? Unless he truly neglects u totally, or can't be bothered wif u, it'd be gd to cut him some slack once in awhile : )
  
  No offence tho... Juz well-meaning thots.
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  yea. i think so too.
  i think I should have a cold war wif him from now on.
  
  i.c.y

• Fuqua

  30 Dec 04, 10:40

  
  
  depends wat u want from the r/s
  if u remember his b'day, then it's only fair to expect him to remember urs.
  and if u want someone who will remember ur b'day, then obviously this man-boy dint pass the test.
  
  save ur future tears. dump him before he break ur heart again.
  
  
• Devil1976

  30 Dec 04, 11:35

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  thanks everyone for the reply..I guess I will give him the benefit of the doubt. But still I think he has a lot of explaining to do when he gets back here. I never doubt that he cared for me before he went back, it is just that after he went back, things seem to change...I am really afraid that he has forgotten me, because he hasnt contacted me for a very long time..the last email I wrote to him was like a week ago...but he hasn't replied or anything *sigh*
  
  Do you think guys can change this fast? We were still really close the day before he left, we even went out the whole day and that was the most beautiful day in my life for this year...
  
  i.c.y

  Yeah... Maybe he has already changed his heart...
  
  But it can be that he's too busy also...?
  
  Anyway, try not to jump to any conclusion based mainly on your own imagination yeah...?
• jusgal

  30 Dec 04, 11:40

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  OKie, sorry for whining again.
  
  let's say you know someone cares about you very much a little while before this. then he went back for a vacation in Malaysia, you wrote to him, he replied, you wrote to him again and then he stopped writing. And today is ur birthday and he totally forgot. No phonecalls, no emails, no nothing.
  
  Only disappointment.
  
  Before he went back, he has convinced me that he cared enuff and I had assumed he would remember. We have spent a lot of time together before he went back, and he even thanked me for giving him good memories to bring back home. And at that moment, when he walked me back to my dorm for the last time before he went back, I truly believe.
  
  that I had found love.
  
  But maybe I am wrong.
  
  Do you think it is fair for me to judge him based on him forgetting my birthday? He has given his 'gift' to me a while ago actually cos he told me he wouldn't be here, but still I would like him to at least email me to let me know he remembers....
  
  i.c.y

  for gers yes. to us dates are important but sad to say dates not so important to guys. and to them birthday is just another day or a normal day
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 11:53

  Originally posted by Fuqua:

  depends wat u want from the r/s
  if u remember his b'day, then it's only fair to expect him to remember urs.
  and if u want someone who will remember ur b'day, then obviously this man-boy dint pass the test.
  
  save ur future tears. dump him before he break ur heart again.
  
  

  shud I give up on him dat fast?
  
  i.c.y
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 11:58

  Originally posted by FeowFeow:

  Dear Icy,
  
  Frankly, this is rather trivial, but @ the risk of making u angry, pls note tt I'm probably older than u. At 27, I qualify as an Old Mdm here.
  
  There're times when a person might be so tired, or so caught up in work, he/she juz forgets ev. thg else. I'd been guilty of tt too. Can u imagine? I wished my ex-boss Happee Belated B'day 1 mth AFTER his b'day Sometimes I forget other special days too, & so does my guy.
  
  But when reminded, we'll always try to make the special day nice for both. At times, it's ez to miss the forest for the trees. But I'd rather a guy who forgets my b'day & stays true to me, than some smooth guy who remembers my b'day, but @ the same time, oso remembers his other gfs' b'days.
  
  To make a r'ship work, why sweat the small stuff? Unless he truly neglects u totally, or can't be bothered wif u, it'd be gd to cut him some slack once in awhile : )
  
  No offence tho... Juz well-meaning thots.
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  I am not angry or anything so dun worry Thanks for the advice.
  Yea, I know this is a rather trivial issue...I just dun understand why I keep thinking about it instead of focusing on the beautiful memories that we have created together..
  He did tell me he can't contact me that often when he is back in Malaysia, I told him I totally understand that but I guess mebbe I miss him dats y...
  
  i.c.y
• Fuqua

  30 Dec 04, 12:18

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  shud I give up on him dat fast?
  
  i.c.y

  hes the one who seem to give up on u. hot one minute, cold the next.
  is guy like dat worth it? up to u and wat u want from ur r/s.
  
  
• Fuqua

  30 Dec 04, 12:26

  Originally posted by jusgal:

  for gers yes. to us dates are important but sad to say dates not so important to guys. and to them birthday is just another day or a normal day

  mebbe u just haven't found the right guy.
  one who will cherish u and take ur b'day as more opportunity to show how ur presence in his life means so much to him.
  
  neway, don't taint us with the same brush ok. i care about dates. u have a lovely penultimate last day of 2004. cheers.
  
  
• icyprincess

  30 Dec 04, 12:29

  Originally posted by Fuqua:

  hes the one who seem to give up on u. hot one minute, cold the next.
  is guy like dat worth it? up to u and wat u want from ur r/s.
  
  

  see, I wanted to ask him but I dun feel nice to be the one asking since I am a girl. Plus he is not here now.
  
  i.c.y
• FeowFeow

  31 Dec 04, 09:26

  I understand *hugz* He did make the effort to get u somethg before he left tho... So try Not to dwell on it so much. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be : ) Who noes, he might miss u so much, he'll come back to join u!
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  I am not angry or anything so dun worry Thanks for the advice.
  Yea, I know this is a rather trivial issue...I just dun understand why I keep thinking about it instead of focusing on the beautiful memories that we have created together..
  He did tell me he can't contact me that often when he is back in Malaysia, I told him I totally understand that but I guess mebbe I miss him dats y...
  
  i.c.y

• icyprincess

  31 Dec 04, 12:05

  Originally posted by FeowFeow:

  I understand *hugz* He did make the effort to get u somethg before he left tho... So try Not to dwell on it so much. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be : ) Who noes, he might miss u so much, he'll come back to join u!
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  I think I wun see him until school opens on jan 19...dat time i wun know wat to react when i see him. dunno whether to be angry or ...
  
  i.c.y
• hypercurry

  31 Dec 04, 13:15

  I won't die this year, nor next year, but one thing that is going to die is my wallet. I remember her birthday, and that is the day my wallet will breathe its last breath.
  

  Love does cost a thing. A bomb.
  
  
• icyprincess

  31 Dec 04, 13:35

  Originally posted by hypercurry:

  Love does cost a thing. A bomb.
  
  

  no it doesn't, if your partner is willing to spend time with you to show that they care. Can do things dat dun need money oso ma, like just go for a walk together, etc. Just need to show em dat you care, dats all and there are a number of ways to do dat...doesn't necessarily need money one.
  
  i.c.y
• Lingos

  31 Dec 04, 13:44

  One thing girlfriend.. this guy is not your partner. He sounds more like a boyfriend. A passing through one at that.