how come he is like this.. haiz....
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i jus broke up with my bf.. the reason is simply be'cos i had long lost my feeling for him. but i carried on being with him due to habit, and i tried to deceive myself tt it's a common thing in relationship..
however finally, i realised tt it's time to move on...
Now i'm single again. and this guy J, who i have been develop a secret liking for over nine months, have been going out with me.. i'm quite sure at first he is attracted to me.. but after some time,i realised that i'm always the one making the first move, asking him out, smsin him.
i buay tahan.. finally two nights ago, i asked him out for dinner.
and this was our conversation during dinner..
Me: " last time, u got like me rgt?"
guy J almost choked on his spaghetti: "hmm..".. after sometime, "yes, got like you. how abt you, you ever like me before?"
Me (my turn to choke on drink): "er, of cos, or else u think i so eng everyday sms you arh.. and i seldom ask guy out, you are the exceptional case you know.. btw,how cum u nv tell me u like me?.........."
Guy J: "i tok u dun like me wah..i veyr shy one u know..."
Me: "wat u tok... i so obvious u still dun know, i wait for you to jio me wait til i ..... tt y i ended up acceptin my bf. but now he n me is over.. hw abt u.. u still like me now? yes or no"
Guy J blushed," er..you are my special frenz..."
haiz....
then after our dinner, he accompany me wait for my gal frenz til 11pm plus (cos im goin clubbin). we talked abt so many thing, abt our relationship.. chemistry and spark is flyin here n there lo...he even offered to wait for me to finish clubbin, so tt he can take me out for supper...but i declined la..paiseh ma
and now thing resume back to the same. no progress. most of the time,im the first to sms him, start conversation. he did asked me whether im free after class to have lunch or bother to ask where i'm going..
but this is gettin to nowhere.. Does he even like me.. if he like me,he should be more auto gear mah.. take initiative to ask me out la...it seem like now i'm so desperate. tt i'm chasing after him you know.. i nv do tt before in relationship..
is this guy worth my time at all.. shy guy is cute la, but after some time, it's frustrating..
sob sob -
Since u already say sparks are flying everywhere when u two are together..Doesn't that prove anything??He should be interested in u but just too afraid or shy to let u know...If he remain passive about it, why don't u make the first move??It is the yr 2005 already, girls make the first move is very common nowadays...U urself also write in ur signature right...Don't miss a chance because of something like that..
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i have done practically everything le.. dropped hints. asked him out for dinner. sms him i miss him..Originally posted by *Lord Kang*:Since u already say sparks are flying everywhere when u two are together..Doesn't that prove anything??He should be interested in u but just too afraid or shy to let u know...If he remain passive about it, why don't u make the first move??It is the yr 2005 already, girls make the first move is very common nowadays...U urself also write in ur signature right...Don't miss a chance because of something like that..
the only thing i haven't do is to force him to a corner, and tell him tt i like him...
haiz.. i felt so tired doing all these...if me, being a ger, have to do all these chasing thing, and this guy still shy or act blur,should i give up and move on... -
Ya lah..Come to a point, everyone will feel tired..But u think all the effort is worth it or not??If u think that u two really can become an item, u shouldn't give up becoz of that..I guess is time u two sit down n have a good talk together...Originally posted by [S]tay:i have done practically everything le.. dropped hints. asked him out for dinner. sms him i miss him..
the only thing i haven't do is to force him to a corner, and tell him tt i like him...
haiz.. i felt so tired doing all these...if me, being a ger, have to do all these chasing thing, and this guy still shy or act blur,should i give up and move on... -
seems like he got commitment-phobia.
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no offence, but is stay a guy or gal?
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she said she's a girl already..Originally posted by nightzip:no offence, but is stay a guy or gal? 
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Hiya, forget abt him man! You have already stated things so clearly to him tht you like him too and you're just waiting for him to "pop" the qns! Amd yet he hasn't take any action.. halo... you need 2 hand to clao right..? You're the only one clapping, clap wat.. duh... yah, shy guys can really drive you up the wall..
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sad to say... i'm also this type of 'shy' guy
i've had this type of experiences before so i think i can tell u the guy's viewpoint on this matter. i'm no expert, but i hope my understanding of this situation is useful to you:
Either:
1. that day due to the flying sparks and chemistry and everything, he gets v high and excited, and being the shy type he wont reject any confessions but just play along, so he ask u out for supper after your clubbing. However, when u didnt go out with him, u didnt 'seize the moment' and the small flame that burn inside him start to go off le.
2. because u confess to him, he start to take u for granted, and he'z probably used to you taking the first move first, since u already know that he'z the shy type of guy. You've already been making the first move, why stop now, ask him out, but dun expect to pick up from where you left now, let things develop naturally step by step.
However, my advice is to really take it easily and slowly, he really show lack of commitment in the relationship, so you must ensure that he is also really interested in you, no point moving too fast. Two people may like each other, but its not necessary for them to be in a relationship.
Well if that guy really likes you, he will regret his passive stance. i know, because i have lost the important 'someone' in my life the same way....
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Hmm... I simply hate the thing about 'Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars'.... Only read a couple of pages of that page and already 'dumped' it... But your case...? Hehheh.... Would be a bit useful...?Originally posted by [S]tay:i jus broke up with my bf.. the reason is simply be'cos i had long lost my feeling for him. but i carried on being with him due to habit, and i tried to deceive myself tt it's a common thing in relationship..
however finally, i realised tt it's time to move on...
Now i'm single again. and this guy J, who i have been develop a secret liking for over nine months, have been going out with me.. i'm quite sure at first he is attracted to me.. but after some time,i realised that i'm always the one making the first move, asking him out, smsin him.
i buay tahan.. finally two nights ago, i asked him out for dinner.
and this was our conversation during dinner..
Me: " last time, u got like me rgt?"
guy J almost choked on his spaghetti: "hmm..".. after sometime, "yes, got like you. how abt you, you ever like me before?"
Me (my turn to choke on drink): "er, of cos, or else u think i so eng everyday sms you arh.. and i seldom ask guy out, you are the exceptional case you know.. btw,how cum u nv tell me u like me?.........."
Guy J: "i tok u dun like me wah..i veyr shy one u know..."
Me: "wat u tok... i so obvious u still dun know, i wait for you to jio me wait til i ..... tt y i ended up acceptin my bf. but now he n me is over.. hw abt u.. u still like me now? yes or no"
Guy J blushed," er..you are my special frenz..."
haiz....
then after our dinner, he accompany me wait for my gal frenz til 11pm plus (cos im goin clubbin). we talked abt so many thing, abt our relationship.. chemistry and spark is flyin here n there lo...he even offered to wait for me to finish clubbin, so tt he can take me out for supper...but i declined la..paiseh ma
and now thing resume back to the same. no progress. most of the time,im the first to sms him, start conversation. he did asked me whether im free after class to have lunch or bother to ask where i'm going..
but this is gettin to nowhere.. Does he even like me.. if he like me,he should be more auto gear mah.. take initiative to ask me out la...it seem like now i'm so desperate. tt i'm chasing after him you know.. i nv do tt before in relationship..
is this guy worth my time at all.. shy guy is cute la, but after some time, it's frustrating..
sob sob
To START OFF.... YUP... He's a SHY GUY.... Ever thought of HOW a SHY GUY would ACT...?? As much as you know both of you wants each other, he's simply 'stupid'....
Don't just drop him 'hints'... ENCOURAGE HIM... PRAISE him... Joke around with him and loosen the tension for him a little... Let him feel more 'open up' to YOU..... YEAH.... YOU DON'T have to THROW YOURSELF TO HIM! Just 'INVITE, INVITE & INVITE' him!!!
Women, women... Men, men.... I know though you like him you might still feel paisay as a girl... How old are both of you by the way?
BE SENSITIVE to this SHY GUY! ACTUALLY, he might have ALREADY MADE HIS 'MOVES'... Just that AS TINY as they are, you probably just let them SLIP THROUGH... Examples would be..
1. He accompanied you to wait for your friend.
2. He offered to wait for you to finish your clubbing to 'take you supper'.
Here's a BIT of EXPLANATION....
This SHY GUY might actually be the 'slow receptive' type... It's NOT that he's NOT INTERESTED in you... He's probably just SLOW and don't make 'daring manevours'....
Out of so many so many things you've told him and you hinted him, he only makes ONE move...?
And his move ain't that 'DIRECT'... He CREATES 'EXCUSES' for himself when he wish to get NEARER to you.... See the above 2 in BLUE?
In the 1st case, there probably ain't really a need to EXCEPT that he WISH to SPEND MORE TIME with you...? SIMPLY PUT. Who would wanna spend more time with someone who they don't like to hang around with?
2nd case is CREATING an 'OPPORTUNITY' to have more TIME with you too... The 'supper' thing is just superificial... Though I must say it's really not BRILLANTLY DONE on his part, it also just happened that ya turned him DOWN...
ANOTHER POINT to NOTE. Many SHY GUYS are like 'TORTISE'. When he make the 'occasional' moves, you 'hit' him on the head by REJECTING him... He'll probably just SHRINK IN.... Haha... As much as you're ASKING all the WHYs now. He might just be DOING his own 'THINKINGS'...?
Just read through a few of the 'classic' topics on how guys are 'rejected' by girls or ask questions like 'what does it means...' then you'll UNDERSTAND...
So NEXT TIME before you 'hit' his head again, try to AGREE to him... But don't OVER STRAIN yourself by making it a MUST... If you can't, just let him know and reject him... BUT.. Let him KNOW HOW MUCH you would REALLY LOVE to HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY to SPEND MORE TIME with him even though it's 'SAD' that you have to REJECT HIM yeah...? "
PS. Like to let me have both your horoscopes
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-__-"....i'm a gal.. thank you for the interest in finding out my genderOriginally posted by nightzip:no offence, but is stay a guy or gal? -
mine is virgo.. he is born on 4th july..Originally posted by Devil1976:PS. Like to let me have both your horoscopes
by the way we are both 21 this year.
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Maybe you will need to set up the atmosphere for him to take the initiative again... like what the others said loosen him up and make the fire in him burn again... and if he continues on to ask you out, try your best to go, but if really cannot, u can reply in a way of telling him u would like to go but can't and try not to kill all his opportunities. eg. "I would like to go for supper with u, but i have something on tonight and i can't miss it. How about tmr?"
However, if it is always u that have to take initiative, i can understand that it is frustrating esp u are a gal... afterall no matter how shy he can be, he is expected to take some initiative after u have done ur part... if he continues to be like this u can consider not doing anything and see if he will be worried enuff to come rolling to u... however it may not be too wise to do this coz he may jus think that u are no longer interested and he deserves it.
Drill this idea into him... Dont think, confirm. When he thinks abt how u will feel and so on, he is actually making himself see that the 'u in him' is giving him that impression. here is no confirmation from ur side at all.
Wish u luck! -
That is either a extremely shy guy or he is taking you for granted. I am also very shy to girls too(sometime I blushes till my ears are red) but I manage to overcome my shyness to ask the lady I like out for movie and dinner. So personally I don't think being shy is a good reason why he is being so passive in the courtship. Try ignoring him for a while, stop smsing him for a day or 2 and see if he response in anyway.
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New development
Last night, he was out with his friends.. then i stayed at home cos my friends they all fly aeroplane..then i sms him good night,ask him to enjoy, and this lead to anther sms conversation.
However cos he is playing lan game mah,so reply very slow.. took 20mins each time to reply..
In the end,he asked me whether he can drop by my hse to talk.i asked him what time, he said 2 hours later ba..
then my jaw dropped... that mean 3am... omg, does he really expect me to stay awake and wait for him til 3am plus plus..
then of cos, i denied his offer again, sayin i will be too tired by then. However i don't mind going out with him on sat or sunday as i really miss him... but up till now, he still never sms me bk whether he wanted to meet me..
this is the guy who will sms me that he miss me, and tell me tt he feel like meetin me etc.. but other than this, he din really bother to ask me out....
from you guy's view,is he playin with my feeling...or taking me for granted..
wo bu shi sheng xia lai deng ta de (i'm not born to wait for him forever)
or rather, am i scaring him away by taking so many initiative... cos i understand some guy like to do the chasing....
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think he's taking you for granted..
normal la..
the one who took initiative usually end up being taken for granted.
if u feel this way, think you better communicate your thoughts to him.
let him know.
some guys very insensitive one wor. =) -
He onli think of u when he too free, no lan game, no friend around or bored. Think of it again, r u willing to spend the rest of your life living this way?
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haiz..
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dont despair, I believe u hav done enough to make the r/s work. Out there plenty who could give what u looking for.
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I think everyone is entitled to their frenz and lesiure. At least he bothers to sms back while playing his games. I know of frenz who dun like to be disturbed when they are lan gaming and wont bother about the sms or calls.Originally posted by No_Problemo:He onli think of u when he too free, no lan game, no friend around or bored. Think of it again, r u willing to spend the rest of your life living this way? -
Please at least try to understand the whole story before making any commentOriginally posted by Haix:I think everyone is entitled to their frenz and lesiure. At least he bothers to sms back while playing his games. I know of frenz who dun like to be disturbed when they are lan gaming and wont bother about the sms or calls. -
what Devil1976 said is right, encourage him. E.g. when he asked you for supper, you declined. If he is really a shy guy, he would find it harder to initiate next time. There's no harm in taking time to know one another more and see if both of you can be together...All the best.
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Originally posted by [S]tay:
REALLY HARD to say....
New development
Last night, he was out with his friends.. then i stayed at home cos my friends they all fly aeroplane..then i sms him good night,ask him to enjoy, and this lead to anther sms conversation.
However cos he is playing lan game mah,so reply very slow.. took 20mins each time to reply..
In the end,he asked me whether he can drop by my hse to talk.i asked him what time, he said 2 hours later ba..
[b]then my jaw dropped... that mean 3am... omg, does he really expect me to stay awake and wait for him til 3am plus plus..
then of cos, i denied his offer again, sayin i will be too tired by then. However i don't mind going out with him on sat or sunday as i really miss him... but up till now, he still never sms me bk whether he wanted to meet me..
this is the guy who will sms me that he miss me, and tell me tt he feel like meetin me etc.. but other than this, he din really bother to ask me out....
from you guy's view,is he playin with my feeling...or taking me for granted..
wo bu shi sheng xia lai deng ta de (i'm not born to wait for him forever)
or rather, am i scaring him away by taking so many initiative... cos i understand some guy like to do the chasing.... [/b]
But to take a safer bet... If you're REALLY INTERESTED IN him.... Don't LEAN TOTALLY FOR him... It MIGHT lower your WORTH from his point of view ESPECIALLY at his age.... In your opinion, is he a MATURE person? In what sense?
And as I've previously warned you, don't DISHEART him totally too... Try to play in between.... -
I have many ups and down in my love life... its always you love that person so much but that person only have another in mind or vice versa....Originally posted by [S]tay:mine is virgo.. he is born on 4th july..
by the way we are both 21 this year.
If you are young, ther's always lots of option of guys or gals to choose from cos this is part of life....check on this site, its quite true after i have gone through a number of relationship,hope it helps...
www.astroadvice.com
tank -
I am sorry for this but.....Originally posted by [S]tay:mine is virgo.. he is born on 4th july..
by the way we are both 21 this year.
OF COURSE LAR, HE'S A CANCER! 
/me siam before 1/12 of the world's population charge yunhaier with their invisible pincer.
Cheers