The Social Stigma a homosexual must put up with....
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Hi all. I was speaking to this ex classmate of mine just yesterday. He is a homosexual. Yes, he openly admits he is sexually attracted to guys. In primary school, he once told his form teacher that he wanted to be a female wrestler. So after our little chat to catch up with the past, he became depressed and said that he cant see why singaporeans are open minded enough to accept his as a human being. I have many friends who are also like him(thats because Im from an all guy school). the sad thing about them is that, they are being shunned and hated for showing love to a person with the same sex. Im posting this because i wonder why should "normal" people (a.k.a heterosexuals) impose what is "natural" on the miniority
I feel sad for some of my ex classmates. When they go out with their boyfriends, people are revolted at the sight of them holding hands together. Not only have they got to put up with the wierd expressions on peoples face in public, they also have to endure the insults and derogatory remarks(such as chao ah gua). Why does the general public perceieve these peoples as evil and hateful??Arent they after all still the same as you and me with two eyes,legs and a pair of eyes?? What so hateful about them? Any advice I can give them? -
I don't know about them, but i'm going to speak for myself.Originally posted by shade343:Hi all. I was speaking to this ex classmate of mine just yesterday. He is a homosexual. Yes, he openly admits he is sexually attracted to guys. In primary school, he once told his form teacher that he wanted to be a female wrestler. So after our little chat to catch up with the past, he became depressed and said that he cant see why singaporeans are open minded enough to accept his as a human being. I have many friends who are also like him(thats because Im from an all guy school). the sad thing about them is that, they are being shunned and hated for showing love to a person with the same sex. Im posting this because i wonder why should "normal" people (a.k.a heterosexuals) impose what is "natural" on the miniority I feel sad for some of my ex classmates. When they go out with their boyfriends, people are revolted at the sight of them holding hands together. Not only have they got to put up with the wierd expressions on peoples face in public, they also have to endure the insults and derogatory remarks(such as chao ah gua). Why does the general public perceieve these peoples as evil and hateful??Arent they after all still the same as you and me with two eyes,legs and a pair of eyes?? What so hateful about them? Any advice I can give them?
While i'm not openly revolted about guys holding hands, its truly very weird. It sends a weird feeling down my spine.
Perhaps its my upbringing. Throughout my life i've never heard and seen guys holding hands or whatever, except in comedies, and that's funny.
But we've been raised in a way, that for guys to like girls is normal, and that's the only way.
Don't you think its un-natural for 2 guys to hold hands? Yet nothing wrong for 2 girls to hold hands in the streets?
2 guys holding hands = gay
2 girls holding hands = lesbians OR good friends.
There are some things that we can never change, lots of problems in the society.
And this is just one of them. -
It's always like that... Take some time for things to be truly accepted by people... IF they're meant to be accepted eventually...?
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frankly speaking, these ppl dun relli give a damn about wat others think of them one.....
it's other ppl who have something against them.......... -
I don't know, but ever since getting here, I have seen how society can be both more accepting and more discriminating. In London, we have a very vibrant gay culture here, and I am growing to realise that gays are people, and they aren't as different as you or me. I used to think that gay clubs have lots of um... Ass screwing going on and all sorts of sexual debauchery going on in them, like guys being done up the Ass at the bar etc... but now I realise its not true, and that having guys kissing guys on the dance floor or getting more touchy feely in the more private areas of a club is no different from what goes on in a straight club.Originally posted by shade343:Hi all. I was speaking to this ex classmate of mine just yesterday. He is a homosexual. Yes, he openly admits he is sexually attracted to guys. In primary school, he once told his form teacher that he wanted to be a female wrestler. So after our little chat to catch up with the past, he became depressed and said that he cant see why singaporeans are open minded enough to accept his as a human being. I have many friends who are also like him(thats because Im from an all guy school). the sad thing about them is that, they are being shunned and hated for showing love to a person with the same sex. Im posting this because i wonder why should "normal" people (a.k.a heterosexuals) impose what is "natural" on the miniority I feel sad for some of my ex classmates. When they go out with their boyfriends, people are revolted at the sight of them holding hands together. Not only have they got to put up with the wierd expressions on peoples face in public, they also have to endure the insults and derogatory remarks(such as chao ah gua). Why does the general public perceieve these peoples as evil and hateful??Arent they after all still the same as you and me with two eyes,legs and a pair of eyes?? What so hateful about them? Any advice I can give them?
In a sense, this is a society that is very accepting of gays, but at the same time, a few months back, a barman was murdered by a group of teens for being gay. It is in a way, a split of society. Gay clubs do enforce a majority gay and lesbian door policy, and straight people and gay people usually go to their respective clubs.
Personally, I've been opening my eyes to how it is for someone to be gay, as my best mate is gay. Oh also, here, gay is used to describe someone who likes others of the same gender. Hence, gay can be used to mean girls as well. Yes my best mate is a gay gal. We are really close and I've been offered valuable insights to what it is like to be gay. She moans about her ex(like many straight people do), pulls occasionally in clubs(like straight people do), generally loves to go clubbing and meeting new people(like straight people do), and thats about it. The only difference is that gay people are more open in nature, and Gay guys don't mind dancing with gay or straight gals or with straight guys and vice versa(Remember, to dance with a straight guy or a gal to them is like a straight guy having to dance with a gay guy or vice versa) If they know you are straight, they mostly respect your sexuality and do not hit on you. They do not mock you for not having the same sexuality they do. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for straight people. -
OTher than the weird factor
I guess some of the bad eggs in that community attribute to this dislike.
I know that the gay men like to hit on straight men. I have often caught gay men openly admire my guy up and down and even trail him. The lustful look in their eyes are very openly display to my guy to make sure he knows the meaning(arse action). Its a longing look that is not even used by females nowadays and sometimes they start stroking their bodies and this is the point where it gets disgusting. Worse part of this is that these gay men ignore my presence totally while oogling him. However, some gays and lesbians will display hatred in their actions, eyes or whatever ways they can to the real women (don't know why they target women). I have a gay person and many lesbians (possibly a bi too) in office and in my first couple of years, as a straight, I got very bad treatment from them for no reason. I am not even close to these people. I didn't understand till like my 3rd year in the office where someone dragged me aside (he was leaving the company) and told me who are the gays and lesbians and why I am treated this manner.
To me, its their choice to be whatever they want to be. However, to take their anger out on me led me to dislike them all the more although prior to that, I never had any opinion of them. I simply find them disgusting in the manner they treat themselves as special creatures and think that everyone should change our mindsets just for them. I don't go about calling people les or gay, but if they want respect, they should start respecting others. If its our choice to call them names, its our choice. Then fat people should also come out and say they don't like all the degoratory names like pig, fat, horizontally challenged and etc. Same goes. we are people who are biased and "colored" our views in this manner. If they don't like to hear all that, then adjust their lifestyle to avoid these encounters. I stopped shopping cause I hate certain things that people do to me. -
Off topic: Having paragraphs make it easier for others to read.
Back to topic:
I find it odd and disgusting to see gays doing PDA.
It's just strange to see two guys holding hands (with the exception of Bangalas - used to seeing it), and feeding each other. -
Ok ... noted ... I was stingy with spacing
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If they are rude, dislike them, not gays in general.
Anyway i think its a vicious cycle. By being gay, they are subjected to the pressures of society and family to "change". This contributes to their character, outlook and the way they handle relationships. Btw. it is a statistical fact that homosexual relationships last shorter than heterosexual relationships. I think this is due to the aforementioned pressures.
Also, being openly gay is in iteself a rejection of societal norms, so the people who are openly gay may by have a greater tendency to behave in a deviant manner.
I do not think that they behave in that way because they are gays. They behave in that manner because of our intolerant society. If our country and society is more tolerant of them, i believe there will be less incidences of these deviant behaviour.
The scandinavia countries like Denmark and sweden is testament to the fact that gays can function well within society.
Note: Deviant behav as mentioned refers to the type mentioned by misty blue
Back to the topic: Migrate to denmark/sweden.
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Problem is that I cannot tell who is gay/les and who is not. People come tell me. However, these les and gays would have already inflicted enough damage on me to just classify they under undesirables in my log book.
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you have no gaydar.Originally posted by mistyblue:Problem is that I cannot tell who is gay/les and who is not. People come tell me. However, these les and gays would have already inflicted enough damage on me to just classify they under undesirables in my log book.
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most people who say "their friend" are actually talking abt themselves but too "pai seh" to admit
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I have no problem with them as long as they don't try to hold my hand.
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Then allow me to put forward this question to you. Why do you think it is "unnatural" for 2 guys or girls to hold hands in public? Does that simple action of love cause you any harm? Is that action harmful? What do you mean y society has lots of problem? To me the problems of society lie in the people of society themselves. It is because of society's need to dictate what is "natural" and "unnatural" that is the cause of so much problems.Originally posted by _Aaron_:I don't know about them, but i'm going to speak for myself.
While i'm not openly revolted about guys holding hands, its truly very weird. It sends a weird feeling down my spine.
Perhaps its my upbringing. Throughout my life i've never heard and seen guys holding hands or whatever, except in comedies, and that's funny.
But we've been raised in a way, that for guys to like girls is normal, and that's the only way.
Don't you think its un-natural for 2 guys to hold hands? Yet nothing wrong for 2 girls to hold hands in the streets?
2 guys holding hands = gay
2 girls holding hands = lesbians OR good friends.
There are some things that we can never change, lots of problems in the society.
And this is just one of them. -
2 words. Social conditioning.Originally posted by shade343:Then allow me to put forward this question to you. Why do you think it is "unnatural" for 2 guys or girls to hold hands in public? Does that simple action of love cause you any harm? Is that action harmful? What do you mean y society has lots of problem? To me the problems of society lie in the people of society themselves. It is because of society's need to dictate what is "natural" and "unnatural" that is the cause of so much problems. -
nono. Serious here. My gay friends have this problem. Im not too sure of myself, so far most people would probably think of me as someone "devoid of a sexuality"Originally posted by vito_corleone:most people who say "their friend" are actually talking abt themselves but too "pai seh" to admit 
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join the Asexual society!Originally posted by shade343:nono. Serious here. My gay friends have this problem. Im not too sure of myself, so far most people would probably think of me as someone "devoid of a sexuality" -
So does this means, its our parents and teachers who has been imparting these "values" to us?Originally posted by HENG@:2 words. Social conditioning. -
does asexual implies we reproduce by asexual division?Originally posted by HENG@:join the Asexual society! -
yes.Originally posted by shade343:So does this means, its our parents and teachers who has been imparting these "values" to us? -
no.Originally posted by shade343:does asexual implies we reproduce by asexual division? -
i feel judging people by their sexual is a rather wrong things...
they should based their views on the capability of the person, instead of his sexual...
I believe many knew Leonardo Da Vinci, right?
A genius like him is also a hemosexual, in case some does not know.
Some have even rumoured that he was once involved in a case about some homosexualism, but still did anyone remember this?
I believe as long as u shines with your ability and not your sexual preference, it's okay, of course, there might be some who simply shuns them away, why bothers those people? -
Unfortunately Singaporeans have grown into this stereotype that being homosexual goes against the will of God. Obviously they didn't keep in mind that God might be having his plans in his Bible for homosexuals to be in the world.
You're not the only one with friends who are homosexuals. Being homosexual is like being a vegetarian, it's quiet, it's discreet, nobody knows till you tell them or ask them.
At present, Singapore isn't big enough or open minded enough with this homosexual business, no matter how differently they claim to be. We are still too conservative.
My advice to your friend would be to find a job that takes him to another country, stay or migrate to places like Amsterdam, London, New York, San Francisco, Sydney etc far from the reaches of Asian community. The people in these cities have learnt to live with homosexuals and are really open minded about it.
And do watch your back, not all homosexuals are who they claim to be. -
true. Famous homosexual leaders include Alexander the Great, King Edward II of England, King James I of England and Scotland, King Frederick II the Great, King Henri III of FranceOriginally posted by ejb:i feel judging people by their sexual is a rather wrong things...
they should based their views on the capability of the person, instead of his sexual...
I believe many knew Leonardo Da Vinci, right?
A genius like him is also a hemosexual, in case some does not know.
Some have even rumoured that he was once involved in a case about some homosexualism, but still did anyone remember this?
I believe as long as u shines with your ability and not your sexual preference, it's okay, of course, there might be some who simply shuns them away, why bothers those people? -
theres no stigma..the stigma is imagined by the other party..its an ego thing..its a "I'm normal, he's not so I am not so bad thing".
Who has more confidence in himself to act and do the way he wants? Whos 'normal" ? Who's the loser with low self esteem? .Certainly not the homosexual.