First off, I give a salute to his advice.Originally posted by xpsyche:to icy:
because it matters so much to you, just after you drop the seed in the ground, you rip it out from the soil before you even give the chance to the seedling to take root and grow. Sometimes when things matter a lot to a person, we'll be so anxious to see its progress. I'm sure what you guys needed was time for the relationship to develop. you cannot judge a person you planned to be with for a long period of time based on the events of one day or one question.
since he was so miserable, u probably matter a lot to him! love may not always be mutual at the start, it can also grow a little more...bit by bit each day...
give him and yourself another chance, you wont regret it....
OKie, here is the situation...actually if you have noticed my previos threads in this forum, you will prolly know the whole story by now.Originally posted by Sekundes:Oh... ok.
But i can't grasp the situation properly, yet i see a believe that he's just a lost for words?
i dunno...i know i care a lot abt him, i just felt really disappointed dat he doesn't seem to care as much...even tho all my frens said he does.Originally posted by Li Ka Shing:Hi Icyprincess,
Both of u care about each other, just that he is thinking of the future and he said a relationship may not last long, and u also look at the future and don't want to be hurt even more, so u decided to drop him.
My concern is that both of u are too forward-looking.
What if, if you two become together and get closer over time and even may get married? How can anyone of you two predict the future so pessimistically?
I say, give the relationship a try. It may work.
there is no more chance...i oledi told him i dun wan to meet him anymore, tho he did say anytime I want to, I can call him. But now my pride is getting in the way...Originally posted by Li Ka Shing:Hi Icyprincess,
He said he couldn't be sure if after graduation the two of u can still be together, right? And u said u don't want to get hurt even more in the future so that's why u drop him now, right? It means that both of you are forward-looking.
To me, it may be too forward-looking already.
Right now, u like him, and he also seem to like u, so presently, there is a good reason to be together.
The concern about the future, is that a serious concern which will surely 100% happen? That if u two get together, you two will certainly break-up in the future? Not really certain, right? A lot of things can happen. So why not give the relationship a chance?
Wow.Originally posted by icyprincess:OKie, here is the situation...actually if you have noticed my previos threads in this forum, you will prolly know the whole story by now.
We were both students from Malaysia who are faraway from home right now (we are both in US) and I met him 2 years ago. I didn't really notice him at that time because he is the shy and quiet type and prefers to keep a low profile no matter where he is. Plus I was in love with another at that time, but that guy ended up hurting me. It was at that time he began chasing me, he did a lot of things to let me know he cared, so 6 months later, I decided to give him a chance. I didn't even really care about him at that time, I guess I thought it could be a fling or something to help me get over my previous crush.
But as time passed by and we spent more and more time together, I began to fall in love with him. We continued to go out for 6 months, then he went back to Malaysia for hols last month and we continued to keep in touch thru emails almost everyday. It was during this time I realize just how much I care for him, esp when I heard abt the tsunami disaster in Malsysia and how relieved I felt when I foudn out he was alright.
So when he came back, I decided to ask how he felt about me. He said he likes me, he likes being with me and there are not many ppl whom he can be close to as close as he was to me. So he asked me to become his gf, but he told me it couldn't be a long term commitment..cos we are both going to graduate in 1 year and 1/2. Then I asked him if he loves me and he gave me that disappointing answer. At that time I was so confused, so I told him I agreed to go into a r/s with him, even tho if it is just for company, even if it won't last long.
But, I thought long and hard that night and came up with the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life...I decided to leave him now rather than later because I know my feelings for him will keep growing if I am together with him...if I dun leave now, I will be even more hurt later...
I really dunno how he feels abt the whole thing...I am sooo confused too..
i.c.y
Yes, I am really afraid of getting hurt. Because I have given him the power to fully hurt me by loving him. I guess I was still traumatized by my previous dabbling with love, the previous guy hurt me a lot also. So I guess now I am more cautious, and I am trying to find ways to minimize my pain...cos I know if we really do break up 2 years from now, I will be even more hurt.Originally posted by Sekundes:Wow.
W . O . W
Hmm Almost like what i was, till i hit the part of keeping a low profie. Chuckle.
Anyway The main thing is You loved him. I hope You can get over your fear of being hurt.
I think he's worried that in the r/s ya all will hit a point where there will be a forceful break up from other factors not from niether him or you. I once told my ex this too. Because i know that a factor which would eventually break the r/s. I don't want her to get hurt, or if there is hurt, at least the lesser the hurt the better. Or so I thought. I admit i was a little naive and stupid back then. But to come back to think of what has happened, I felt the path i chosen was wrong.
If you had loved him, you have to accept him for what he is, who knows. Life is always full of surprises. And like wat my friend always tell me, " Patient is a virtue " . Your given Chance to him seems short lived. You have not understand the pain yet, your frightened of it. Many are. Not many understand, as it is very hard.
I wish you luck with you life and your future i.c.y
Regards
Sekundes AkA XEK
Thanks for your advice. I just dunno how much he cares. If he doesn't care that much, if I want to get back with him, he might just rebuke me and hurt my pride even more...Originally posted by Li Ka Shing:Icyprincess, aiyo...don't let ur pride stop u from getting greater happiness....
Try to think of a way to get back with him again. U clearly love him. He also seem to like u. Surely there will be a way to get back together again.
For example, try to find ways how to call him up.
Good luck.
Im sleeping now. Talk to u again next time ok? I don't know the time there in USA, but try to get enough sleep, eat properly etc. Don't get too stressed.
seems like i'm experiencing these.... i'm now numb... no feeling at all... hurt too much it becomes numbOriginally posted by ptw:As for icyprincess, the more committed you are in your relationship and before you know it that he is leaving you, for he has prepared to leave you, its like stabbing you deep and let you suffer alone. I have been through this and I am still struggling to move on. Aint easy to step out of this traumatic nightmare. Really need time and effort on your part to move on. One thing for sure, if you didnt do anything wrong, you have nothing to regret. Seeking for more advice and hope that all will turn out well in future.