HELP!!! Im trapped by the past
-
i have a bf and we have been together for going to be a year. he's 19 and im 17. But i still cant forget the fact that he lost his first time to his ex when he's 16. It was only after we stead for a few mths that he told me that he have had sex once with his ex
I cant accept the fact at first. It was a terrible torture for me. In my mind I cant forget it. I keep thinking about it. Its really mentally torture. It been about 6 mths since he told me the news and im still trapped by it. Although im slowly accepting it now, but whenever i saw the words sex or anything relating to sexually intercourse, i will start thinking about it again.
Can anyone tell me what can I do pls? I have tried telling myself that its all in the past but up till now I am still troubled by it. The reason that I dont wanna break off with him is because I feel that its not fair to him if I do that.
by the way, he is my first bf. And how do u all define virginity for guys?
he said he and his ex only did it halfway because he was scared. Does it counted that a guy already lost his virginity the moment he put his "thing" in? -
i think u and babyboy or alex would make the perfect pair.....
all like their opposite halfs to be virgins..
-
u have to accept the fact tt's his no longer a virgin.. unless of course u bear to dump him bcoz of tt.. come on.. havent u ever thought of losing to someone whom u think will be ur soulmate.. it might have been the case for him.. but i guess it turned out differently n tt's y he's with u..
most imptly.. is how he treats u n feels for u.. tt's wat counts.. u need to change ur mindset girl..
-
hmm...wat do u mean by "but i guess it turned out differently n tt's y he's with u.. "?
-
Dear Trapped. Have a read about this ba... v similar to what ur facing.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=112711 -
ok thx
-
No problem.Originally posted by Trapped:ok thx
One more thing to add. Your only young. Take your time to think about these things ba.
-
I have been thinking about 6 mths le but still seems not able to figure out an answer. Should I still stick to him or?
-
ur 17. do u think u would end up marrying this guy?
read that thread i pasted ba.. i guess a lot of sense came with the replies.. just have to apply it to ur case.. -
i dunno... I guess the reason we are still together is she bu de ba...
haix...if i still stick to him, den i will keep recalling about his past. But then i cant bear to leave him.. Really hard to figure out a solution.
life is really sian sian sian -
u she bu de him? means u still care for him ba....Originally posted by Trapped:i dunno... I guess the reason we are still together is she bu de ba...
haix...if i still stick to him, den i will keep recalling about his past. But then i cant bear to leave him.. Really hard to figure out a solution.
life is really sian sian sian
but erm... whether u stick to this guy or not... i think u would have serious problems with ur future relationships... i dun have a lot of frens.... but al most ALL the guy frens i noe r not virgins...
maybe u need to consider ur options and opinions ba... dowan to tell u how to live ur life... coz its ur life... but just letting u noe... the path u choose.. its not really easy.. -
don't worry, its quite normal for you to feel this way.. i was kinda shocked too.
difference is, my friend is really sorry about her past, and now advices others not to follow her footstep. the difference is. does he know he made a mistake and he turned from it?
-
with guys... normally... i dun think they would think of it as a mistake?Originally posted by dumbdumb!:don't worry, its quite normal for you to feel this way.. i was kinda shocked too.
difference is, my friend is really sorry about her past, and now advices others not to follow her footstep. the difference is. does he know he made a mistake and he turned from it? -
erm....how to figure out whether "he know he made a mistake and he turned from it?" got any questions that can ask him and see it through the way he answered or how he answer?Originally posted by dumbdumb!:don't worry, its quite normal for you to feel this way.. i was kinda shocked too.
difference is, my friend is really sorry about her past, and now advices others not to follow her footstep. the difference is. does he know he made a mistake and he turned from it? -
hmmm...Originally posted by nOrmalbOi:i think u and babyboy or alex would make the perfect pair.....
all like their opposite halfs to be virgins..
anything wrong w tt???? -
hello trapped
as much as i wanted to give you advice
i will be issued w names like old fashion or something
yes i know that it`s common nowadays for ppl to lose it ( as they say )
it doesnt really happen to my frens
ok so the situation seems to be he had lost it during his days w his previous gf??
for ur case
i`ll say he was young and foolish/playful
but now it seems that he`s already had u as a gf
i do hope u give him a chance to help prove to you he`s changed
meanwhile i do hope u all do not engage in sexual activities too
remain that why til u`re mature enuff to settle down
otherwise it`ll be very very shortchanged for you
cheers -
thx for ur adviceOriginally posted by BaByBoY:hello trapped
as much as i wanted to give you advice
i will be issued w names like old fashion or something
yes i know that it`s common nowadays for ppl to lose it ( as they say )
it doesnt really happen to my frens
ok so the situation seems to be he had lost it during his days w his previous gf??
for ur case
i`ll say he was young and foolish/playful
but now it seems that he`s already had u as a gf
i do hope u give him a chance to help prove to you he`s changed
meanwhile i do hope u all do not engage in sexual activities too
remain that why til u`re mature enuff to settle down
otherwise it`ll be very very shortchanged for you
cheers
-
nothing wrong..Originally posted by BaByBoY:hmmm...
anything wrong w tt????
but expectation begets disappointment.. -
it`s the dreams that keeps me goin onOriginally posted by nOrmalbOi:nothing wrong..
but expectation begets disappointment..
i`ll say it`s a preference not an expectation
to each his own for one man`s meat is another man`s poison
i might be dissapointed 100000000 times
i juz need a good one to be satisfied -
i think i would be a broken man by the 99999999th timeOriginally posted by BaByBoY:it`s the dreams that keeps me goin on
i`ll say it`s a preference not an expectation
to each his own for one man`s meat is another man`s poison
i might be dissapointed 100000000 times
i juz need a good one to be satisfied
hurhur -
Another debate?
Pls refer to this thread
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=112711 -
Hey trapped, at the age of 16, i think it's most prob due to 'fun' or some peer pressure thingy. But it's all in the past already, do u really mind about this guy's virginity or how much he loves u now. Is he really serious into this relationship or is he still in his play mode. It's really something u should look into. If he's really serious, i think u should at least give him some chance, even an ex-convict gets his/her chance. And yeah, try not to get involved sexually with him at this stage, it's not safe. Wait till u are engaged or married to that guy. This kind of thing is really a prob to both sexes..Originally posted by Trapped:i have a bf and we have been together for going to be a year. he's 19 and im 17. But i still cant forget the fact that he lost his first time to his ex when he's 16. It was only after we stead for a few mths that he told me that he have had sex once with his ex
I cant accept the fact at first. It was a terrible torture for me. In my mind I cant forget it. I keep thinking about it. Its really mentally torture. It been about 6 mths since he told me the news and im still trapped by it. Although im slowly accepting it now, but whenever i saw the words sex or anything relating to sexually intercourse, i will start thinking about it again.
Can anyone tell me what can I do pls? I have tried telling myself that its all in the past but up till now I am still troubled by it. The reason that I dont wanna break off with him is because I feel that its not fair to him if I do that.
by the way, he is my first bf. And how do u all define virginity for guys?
he said he and his ex only did it halfway because he was scared. Does it counted that a guy already lost his virginity the moment he put his "thing" in? -
At this age, guys are all very curious. Most of them are not virgin liao. Especially under frens' influence.
But then it's still a matter of whether he cherish that first time or not. And who he gave his first time to? Hopefully not to those aunties in Geylang
-
so wat does it means if he cherish that first time? and wat does it means if he doesn't cherish that first time?Originally posted by LilO gIrL:At this age, guys are all very curious. Most of them are not virgin liao. Especially under frens' influence.
But then it's still a matter of whether he cherish that first time or not. And who he gave his first time to? Hopefully not to those aunties in Geylang
he gave his first time to his ex. -
Personally I feel that it is a matter of whether you can accept it or not.Originally posted by Trapped:so wat does it means if he cherish that first time? and wat does it means if he doesn't cherish that first time?
he gave his first time to his ex.
I can accept it if my bf tells me he got n times experience in that matter. As long as he did it with his exs..and not some prostitutes or whatever girls he noe in pubs? At least, did it with the one he loves? Well, it might not be the truth..but still..honestly, if you can't accept it at all..whether it is the truth or not doesn't matter..you still can't accept.