Friend's sex problems
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How would you feel if your friend told you her bf has forced himself on her before, and she didn't even enjoy it most of the time? he knows abt that, but he still does it.
I feel compelled to tell her he's a jerk, but I know I have no right in saying that. Sighs.
Why do some guys force themselves on their gfs? -
because they are jerks. I think u've already answered your own question?Originally posted by wallie:How would you feel if your friend told you her bf has forced himself on her before, and she didn't even enjoy it most of the time? he knows abt that, but he still does it.
I feel compelled to tell her he's a jerk, but I know I have no right in saying that. Sighs.
Why do some guys force themselves on their gfs? -
I feel very troubled, and it makes me lose my faith in guys in general. I have a feeling my friend is heading towards disaster, just like she did in her previous relationship. But I know I shouldn't say anything.. maybe I am too eager to protect her. I did tell her to talk to him about it. But she said all is forgotten in the heat of the moment again, and she just gives in..
Us women are so stupid.. -
First thing first... HOLY SHIT!
Did you know this qualifys as a rape case?! No man should force himself onto any woman. What he did is not only wrong, it's unethical and insultive.
Now you gotta make a decision with your friend, to expose this rapist or not? How will this affect your lives? Who do you want to turn to? and most importantly, helping your friend get on with it all after this incident.
Personally... for being a hot blooded guy, I'd castrate him, mail his parts back to his family, beat him up where ever I see him in the streets, find a huge hairy man to rape him back... sweet revenge
but that's me, you gotta make your own final decisions -
I don't think she treats it as rape.. that's the problem. She tells me that she feels resentful at times. I guess my friend gives in too easily.. I really hate that guy. Why does she date scum? But on the other hand, who am I to judge? That's why I'm caught between telling her to have a good thought about this jerk, and just keeping my mouth shut. I tried to give her the best advice I can afford without crossing the line, but it's useless, 'cause she did tell him before, but what's the point?Originally posted by faithblade:First thing first... HOLY SHIT!
Did you know this qualifys as a rape case?! No man should force himself onto any woman. What he did is not only wrong, it's unethical and insultive.
Now you gotta make a decision with your friend, to expose this rapist or not? How will this affect your lives? Who do you want to turn to? and most importantly, helping your friend get on with it all after this incident.
Personally... for being a hot blooded guy, I'd castrate him, mail his parts back to his family, beat him up where ever I see him in the streets, find a huge hairy man to rape him back... sweet revenge but that's me, you gotta make your own final decisions
What angers me is also he knows that she didn't even enjoy it most of the time, but still keep doing it. At least learn some new moves lah! Some men think it's just in-out and that is it. -
Well, learning new moves to heat up the action is one thing, sex without consent is another. If your lady friend consents to sex then it's not rape. But if it's unwilling... it's call rape. Did you know statically proven, rape often occure from people you already know?
Talk to your friend, she might see this as a way to maintain a relationship, but a relationship is based on trust and love... not forced entry. -
im not surprised, and i don't blame you. I've long ago kinda lost faith in male-kind.Originally posted by wallie:I feel very troubled, and it makes me lose my faith in guys in general. I have a feeling my friend is heading towards disaster, just like she did in her previous relationship. But I know I shouldn't say anything.. maybe I am too eager to protect her. I did tell her to talk to him about it. But she said all is forgotten in the heat of the moment again, and she just gives in..
Us women are so stupid.. -
if she slept with a pair of scissors next to the bed, and does not hesitate to put the blades to his pathetic excuse of a prick, I think he might think twice. Rapists deserve penectomy.Originally posted by wallie:I don't think she treats it as rape.. that's the problem. She tells me that she feels resentful at times. I guess my friend gives in too easily.. I really hate that guy. Why does she date scum? But on the other hand, who am I to judge? That's why I'm caught between telling her to have a good thought about this jerk, and just keeping my mouth shut. I tried to give her the best advice I can afford without crossing the line, but it's useless, 'cause she did tell him before, but what's the point?
What angers me is also he knows that she didn't even enjoy it most of the time, but still keep doing it. At least learn some new moves lah! Some men think it's just in-out and that is it. -
well, if you want your frd to really resist, just tell her to act like a "dead fish" when she's being forced, dun show any emotion of "disliking" or "hating" sex, but instead, show him the look of being very sianz of sex, or like acting that his bf "skills" are terrible, that will put off her bf advance..
(e.g when he's in-outing, then, ask your frd to act like looking elsewhere, or bo chap him, he'll feel very dis-interested soon) -
Hey hey ladies... relax, not all men are animals that crawled out from the bowels of the earth. There are still gentlemen out there... sadly we're becoming endangered and extinct soon.
It's all bout judgement, don't blame the entire bunch of fruits if one fruit taste sour, right?
It all depends on where you go to find your guys too and what kinda signals you sent out. -
I think she wasn't happy the 1st time it happened, but she gave in and convinced herself it's not rape (that's why she never mentioned that). And of course once you start giving in, you'd keep doing it right? As for learning new moves, I feel if your gf gives in to you, at least make a real effort to please her! Sounds like to me he's just concerned with making himself happy.Originally posted by faithblade:Well, learning new moves to heat up the action is one thing, sex without consent is another. If your lady friend consents to sex then it's not rape. But if it's unwilling... it's call rape. Did you know statically proven, rape often occure from people you already know?
Talk to your friend, she might see this as a way to maintain a relationship, but a relationship is based on trust and love... not forced entry.
She is definitely resentful, but she told me its not something she keeps thinking abt (i think she is just burying it). She said she does'nt trust him to not do it if they stay together before marriage. -
What happened to you that made you think that? Are you a girl?Originally posted by HENG@:im not surprised, and i don't blame you. I've long ago kinda lost faith in male-kind. -
It is a rape..cos the girl is unable to defend herself in both physical or emotional terms, but a lawyer would prob argue otherwise.
You better rescue your friend soon..cos the guy once get the inch will want a yard...and god knows what ill that leads to
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First, you're right, he's doing it to please himself. Second, yes, she sounds like she's burying it, deny the truth. Lastly, please tell her he's not after a wonderful Disney marriage with her, only her body.
By the way... how old are you guys? -
She said she tried rejecting him but felt bad when he acted like he's sad after being rejected.Originally posted by ejb:well, if you want your frd to really resist, just tell her to act like a "dead fish" when she's being forced, dun show any emotion of "disliking" or "hating" sex, but instead, show him the look of being very sianz of sex, or like acting that his bf "skills" are terrible, that will put off her bf advance..
(e.g when he's in-outing, then, ask your frd to act like looking elsewhere, or bo chap him, he'll feel very dis-interested soon) -
We're in our 20s, but that doesn't mean we should have sex just 'cause the guy wants it (and doesn't even bother about pleasing her)Originally posted by faithblade:First, you're right, he's doing it to please himself. Second, yes, she sounds like she's burying it, deny the truth. Lastly, please tell her he's not after a wonderful Disney marriage with her, only her body.
By the way... how old are you guys?
She seems convinced she wants to mayy him. It would be giving her advice when she didn't ask for it and at the expense of our friendship.. -
got use condy?
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me? gollie. how should i answer that? i guess both no and yes.Originally posted by wallie:What happened to you that made you think that? Are you a girl? -
She did mention she's not strong enough to fend him off which gave me the impression that he physically forced himself on her. I really hate him for doing this to my friend.Originally posted by p1ll0w:It is a rape..cos the girl is unable to defend herself in both physical or emotional terms, but a lawyer would prob argue otherwise.
You better rescue your friend soon..cos the guy once get the inch will want a yard...and god knows what ill that leads to -
alamak... that's the problem with you ladies...
She feels responsible for making him feel sad and he's raping her? hua... I must say he's good.
It's like he's slapping her and she feels it's all her fault.
She need to see the world, the world does not revolve around him sia... sad life -
and thats the problem with guys. doing Shit like that and then saying that that's a good thing.Originally posted by faithblade:alamak... that's the problem with you ladies...
She feels responsible for making him feel sad and he's raping her? hua... I must say he's good.
It's like he's slapping him and she feels it's all her fault.
She need to see the world, the world does not revolve around him sia... sad life -
YEs, that's why I feel us women are very stupid. I wonder what I can do to help change women's mindsets.Originally posted by faithblade:alamak... that's the problem with you ladies...
She feels responsible for making him feel sad and he's raping her? hua... I must say he's good.
It's like he's slapping him and she feels it's all her fault.
She need to see the world, the world does not revolve around him sia... sad life
I think her world does revolve around him. She's a bit afraid to take the plunge, just like in her previous relationship, she didn't love him but stuck around because she wanted to feel that there;s someone who loves her ...
What would I do if i were in her situation.. -
for a start, show men that they are not the bosses. if they fail to comprehend that, a good swift kick to the balls should do the trick. if that doesn't work either, more drastic measures with the scissors will be necessary.Originally posted by wallie:YEs, that's why I feel us women are very stupid. I wonder what I can do to help change women's mindsets.
I think her world does revolve around him. She's a bit afraid to take the plunge, just like in her previous relationship, she didn't love him but stuck around because she wanted to feel that there;s someone who loves her ...
What would I do if i were in her situation.. -
I must clarify-- she seems to love this current guy. Whether because she's given herself to him and thus feels she should marry him or is it because she really loves him--- that's onmly something she herself will know.
I think the problem with Asian society is that the actions do not match the mentality. Some girls go on and have sex and then when it comes to marriage they have an old thinking that they should marry the person that they gave themselves to-- thus leading to a lot of internal struggles... we;'re not as carefree as our western liberalised counterparts. -
how to show men you're the boss without any physical violencE?Originally posted by HENG@:for a start, show men that they are not the bosses. if they fail to comprehend that, a good swift kick to the balls should do the trick. if that doesn't work either, more drastic measures with the scissors will be necessary.