Trust
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I can forgive but i can't forget...Originally posted by LilO gIrL:I'm sorry to know that.
Then can you forgive her for what she has done?
I think, to a certain extent, you will always be reminded of that lor.
Can't blame you if you dun trust her like before..
Whatever your decision is, be strong..once you have set your mind and decided on what to do, be firm.
All the best!
Always worrying and looking over my shoulder...
If you get what i am trying to say...
I want to trust but i am finding it very hard to do...
Trying to be firm but sometimes, you know when they say "mouth very fierce but heart very soft"...
Or something a long that line...
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I know what you mean.Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:I can forgive but i can't forget...
Always worrying and looking over my shoulder...
If you get what i am trying to say...
I want to trust but i am finding it very hard to do...
Trying to be firm but sometimes, you know when they say "mouth very fierce but heart very soft"...
Or something a long that line...
Once biten, twice shy.
And the saying goes, 'got one time means there will be another time'.
I would say, if u really love her and trying hard to forget..well..hopefully you can do it.
But if no matter how hard you tried, and the feeling is still there, then i guess u will have to find a way out coz in the long run, this it not going to do you any good. -
Reminds me of somethg painful...
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Marmalade Boy:If someone special broke your trust in her/him?
You feel betrayed but he/she has apologized and trying to make amendments in your relationship.
How can he/she earn your trust again?
What can he/she do?
Any comments but no flaming, thanks! -
Dont forgive and nv forget.Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:I can forgive but i can't forget...
Always worrying and looking over my shoulder...
If you get what i am trying to say...
I want to trust but i am finding it very hard to do...
Trying to be firm but sometimes, you know when they say "mouth very fierce but heart very soft"...
Or something a long that line...
Seriously juz dump her.
This woman dont deserve ur love anyway.
Slpin wif another man is a seriously betrayal of trust, and she got the gall to do tis kind of things.
Give up on her. There are better woman other than her, who are worthy of ur love. -
it is a terrible thing she did.. and i can just imagine how broken you must feel...
do you feel she is sincerely sorry for what she did?
If you do, and have decided to patch back with her to give your relationship another chance...
then I think you need to sincerely try to forgive her.
Explain to her it won't happen overnight that the trust can be built up again
but ... don't let what happen become a double edged sword to hurt her or hurt yourself in the relationship.... tell her what you need for your pain to feel better.. and appreciate her efforts to make it up to you.
she made a mistake but that doesn't condemn her for life. IF you going to hold it against her and condemn her, then its better to break up.
And only if you forgive... really really forgive.... then I think you can move in the relationship. Or else its just pretending that everything goes on when there's an abyss between the two of you.
because insecurity can wreck a relationship as easily as infidelity... -
if she had cherished ur relationship, she wldnt have made this mistake.
this kind of women isnt worth loving. -
Don't be too quick to Judge.Originally posted by Evangelion84:if she had cherished ur relationship, she wldnt have made this mistake.
this kind of women isnt worth loving.
Several things may have happened that led to her being like that. Even though i think i read his other post somewhere and it was 'something else'..
She's still young. And though many of you will whack me on the head that 'even though she's young, she still shouldn't commit mistakes.' i'm on the other side of the road, thinking that as she grow older(so long she's shown the right way), she will grow up a better woman.
I believe it takes a strong person to forgive, compared to someone who is unable to forgive, or harbour regrets and hatred.
So be strong, and forgive. Your life will be much easier... then a life full of regrets and hatred. -
I would seriously find it hard to forgive my boyfriend if he slept with another girl. How could you ever trust that person again?
I guess we all have different tolerance levels for such things. I'd find it hard to forgive cause at the back of my mind would always be the lingering reminder of the betrayal. How can I be sure that the next time we hit a rough patch in the relationship, he wouldn't find solace in the arms of another woman again?
To have it happen once is bad enough... if I somehow loved him so much to forgive him and it happened a second time, then that's it, goodbye, ta-ta, The End.
So, think about whether you have the capacity to really forgive and not hold her mistake against her in the future. Not everyone is able to stomach betrayals like that. It's not gonna be easy. -
Has your love for her changed after this episode?
Would you see her differently?
Forgiven her but leave behind a bad aftertaste?
If yes to the above, stay as friends but keep your options open. -
Originally posted by Rhonda:I would seriously find it hard to forgive my boyfriend if he slept with another girl. How could you ever trust that person again?
I guess we all have different tolerance levels for such things. I'd find it hard to forgive cause at the back of my mind would always be the lingering reminder of the betrayal. How can I be sure that the next time we hit a rough patch in the relationship, he wouldn't find solace in the arms of another woman again?
To have it happen once is bad enough... if I somehow loved him so much to forgive him and it happened a second time, then that's it, goodbye, ta-ta, The End.
So, think about whether you have the capacity to really forgive and not hold her mistake against her in the future. Not everyone is able to stomach betrayals like that. It's not gonna be easy. -
thats why youre single & no one wants u...Originally posted by Rhonda:I would seriously find it hard to forgive my boyfriend if he slept with another girl. How could you ever trust that person again?
I guess we all have different tolerance levels for such things. I'd find it hard to forgive cause at the back of my mind would always be the lingering reminder of the betrayal. How can I be sure that the next time we hit a rough patch in the relationship, he wouldn't find solace in the arms of another woman again?
To have it happen once is bad enough... if I somehow loved him so much to forgive him and it happened a second time, then that's it, goodbye, ta-ta, The End.
So, think about whether you have the capacity to really forgive and not hold her mistake against her in the future. Not everyone is able to stomach betrayals like that. It's not gonna be easy. -
No way.Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:If someone special broke your trust in her/him?
You feel betrayed but he/she has apologized and trying to make amendments in your relationship.
How can he/she earn your trust again?
What can he/she do?
Any comments but no flaming, thanks! -
be strong! think of it very carefully before acting your next move.
you must be prepared to overcome all insecurities, fear, distress, etc. if you choose to forgive & forget. no doubt, you'll be more wary. but if you love her & decide to take this path, you must brace yourself & overcome all the negative thoughts. only then, it'll survive. trust is to slowly earned back for now. its difficult as it doesnt come overnight.
if you are trapped in a world of misery and know very clearly that you'll never be able to forget. perhaps you should choose to move on without her. its a painful process to be hurt by the one you love & to be separated from her. however, in the long run, u may be happier. -
What thing that is painful?Originally posted by FeowFeow:
Reminds me of somethg painful...
FeowFeow
Care to share your exprience or thoughts!
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Thanks for your opinion!Originally posted by Evangelion84:Dont forgive and nv forget.
Seriously juz dump her.
This woman dont deserve ur love anyway.
Slpin wif another man is a seriously betrayal of trust, and she got the gall to do tis kind of things.
Give up on her. There are better woman other than her, who are worthy of ur love.
I'll take it into consideration.... -
Thanks for your opinion!!!Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:it is a terrible thing she did.. and i can just imagine how broken you must feel...
do you feel she is sincerely sorry for what she did?
If you do, and have decided to patch back with her to give your relationship another chance...
then I think you need to sincerely try to forgive her.
Explain to her it won't happen overnight that the trust can be built up again
but ... don't let what happen become a double edged sword to hurt her or hurt yourself in the relationship.... tell her what you need for your pain to feel better.. and appreciate her efforts to make it up to you.
she made a mistake but that doesn't condemn her for life. IF you going to hold it against her and condemn her, then its better to break up.
And only if you forgive... really really forgive.... then I think you can move in the relationship. Or else its just pretending that everything goes on when there's an abyss between the two of you.
because insecurity can wreck a relationship as easily as infidelity... -
What you said made a lot of sense...Originally posted by _Aaron_:Don't be too quick to Judge.
Several things may have happened that led to her being like that. Even though i think i read his other post somewhere and it was 'something else'..
She's still young. And though many of you will whack me on the head that 'even though she's young, she still shouldn't commit mistakes.' i'm on the other side of the road, thinking that as she grow older(so long she's shown the right way), she will grow up a better woman.
I believe it takes a strong person to forgive, compared to someone who is unable to forgive, or harbour regrets and hatred.
So be strong, and forgive. Your life will be much easier... then a life full of regrets and hatred.
Thanks again! -
It is not easy all right...Originally posted by Rhonda:I would seriously find it hard to forgive my boyfriend if he slept with another girl. How could you ever trust that person again?
I guess we all have different tolerance levels for such things. I'd find it hard to forgive cause at the back of my mind would always be the lingering reminder of the betrayal. How can I be sure that the next time we hit a rough patch in the relationship, he wouldn't find solace in the arms of another woman again?
To have it happen once is bad enough... if I somehow loved him so much to forgive him and it happened a second time, then that's it, goodbye, ta-ta, The End.
So, think about whether you have the capacity to really forgive and not hold her mistake against her in the future. Not everyone is able to stomach betrayals like that. It's not gonna be easy.
At this moment, i am trying very hard to take it easy without the though of her betraying me again...
Sure isn't easy...
Sigh...
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At this moment, a lot of people i know are telling me to just forget it...Originally posted by icepole:be strong! think of it very carefully before acting your next move.
you must be prepared to overcome all insecurities, fear, distress, etc. if you choose to forgive & forget. no doubt, you'll be more wary. but if you love her & decide to take this path, you must brace yourself & overcome all the negative thoughts. only then, it'll survive. trust is to slowly earned back for now. its difficult as it doesnt come overnight.
if you are trapped in a world of misery and know very clearly that you'll never be able to forget. perhaps you should choose to move on without her. its a painful process to be hurt by the one you love & to be separated from her. however, in the long run, u may be happier.
But betrayal is bad enough...
Leaving her...
I am not too sure... -
dear Marmalade Boy
ask yourself 2 questions :
1. will you be as happy as before if you get back together with her after all the sagas?
2. what's your deepest feeling right now?
to be honest, no amount of advices can influence your decision. ultimately, you'll have to decide for yourself. it's a matter of choice - to stay or to let go. you have to know what you want, really. you may be in a confusion stage right now. give yourself some time. you'll be able to think clearer. -
All me can say is also follow your heart..just rem that trust is like a glass cup,once broken,no matter what you do..the cup is broken..even if u can stick it back wif super glue..but the scars remain..let go now is the best thing..if not the longer this thing drag..the more damage it will do to the both of you..gd luck..me also trying to recover..hope you can do it too..
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i was just thinking abt what i'd do if my BF did the same.
I think i'd freak out. but i really do love him, and if he apologises sincerely, i'd PROBABLY forgive him. if it's cheating (as in not 1-nite-stand) then i'll really need to think longer.
any of the above happen twice then that's it for me too. I'll just cut off all r/s clean. and gals can sometimes be very cruel with it, and be quick and extremely clean abt it too.
but seriously though, think what u'd do without her. think far. be open to all sortsa options.