Troubled mind...
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23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects. -
Why dun you start joining some of the outings organised by some forumites here? Im very sure they will treat you well and be friendly to you
who knows? A relationship might blossom from those outings -
Woah, take it easy man.....
I've felt that way too sometimes, when I was younger. I always had close friends, but they were busy sometimes which left me feeling lonely. Hey, friends and acquaintances come and go.....and they will come again.
Yeah, as the person (shade) before me recommended, why don't you some forum outings? You seem like a mild and reasonable chap....and if you're the same in real life, I don't see any problem of being socially accepted. -
Being 23 this year, are you in University, or in NS?
Perhaps you need to open up more. I can't really tell what's wrong with you from this post, but that you think too much. And that's not a crime by itself.
Perhaps you're hanging out with the wrong group of people? Groups of 'friends' with no common topic, can become boring very fast.
What are your hobbies?
Do you play in the arcades? Perhaps next time you could just initiate a talk to your opponent? "Nice game!" or something like that.
Movies?
"I didn't like the part where Alice dies in the end, i thought it was stupid. How about you..?"
Of course, i realise that these acts would take tremedous confidence that you lack for now. Perhaps that's what you lack. Confidence?
I guess i'm rambling... -
U have logged on to the right place!! Join the outing to know more ppl and hopefully u can find close friends after that if not...u still can make friends here mah and dun 4get to join the FIRST EVER D & D......ok........
Welcome Abroad
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Tell yourself every morn. to be thankful for all u have- a supportive family who loves u, no financial worries etc.
Hopefully this will help put u in good mood.
Remember in order to attract friends & girls, u have to be cheerful & fun.
Think positive.
Join outings or clubs eg choir, church, sports.
Be pro-active, invite friends over or organise makan session.
Call up yr old classmates/ NS frens.
Don't be discourage if only a few join. Keep on trying. -
Hi John, how are you doing?Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects.
If you are looking for friend or if you wana make some new friends, just come and join the Canadian dragonboat team or Australian dragonboat team or the British dragonboat team or the German and Irish Dragonboat team, and there's more if you are really into it and make your life more exciting and fun with full of adventure, you are still young and you should be enjoying now
FYI, to get hurt in a friendship or relationship is a common thing in life, well it all depends on how you manage them carefully and wisely. I think I've said enough, if you wana find out about the expats dragonboat team, you can surf their websites. They are fun and friendly expats to hang out with
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EVERYBODY's DESTINATED to DIE... But NOBODY'S DESTINATED for MISERY...Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects.
DO JOIN US FOR OUTINGS....? -
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hey kid,
Don't keep thinking that way. Just to make u feel alittle better....there are other people in worse situation than u are. E.g. Tsumani pple!
You feel lonely is because you are lonely. Seriously for some of us, as we grow older, we have less frens. Many reasons due to this....your friends have other committments, family, work, etc. So won't have time to call on you.
So don't expect pple to call on you to go out or something. Either call ur frens up and try to arrange for a meeting or make an effort to try to make new frens. As u grow older, unless u have very very close frens who call on you, most of the time, these pple will normally have their own life in future and will not have "time" for you.
Advice: Try making new frens on the net, chat online, etc. Join more forums! *grin* and you will feel less lonely! -
shld giv u a large,wooden calendar... 2 shuff it up ya ASS HOLEOriginally posted by mahai102:u should give him a suicide calendar.... 
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and i thought i was the onli one....Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects. -
come lah for outings.....
we are all fun n friendly. i've get to know some good frds here too. -
imo...
sometimes its not that we dun wanna have frens or socialise...
but we are frozen in our state that everyday seems to be an emotional paralysis... -
hmmmmm.... can try gg out or watch a movie on yr own ...
i always do this................. -
- Maybe a lack of purpose in your life caused you to be depressive.
Find something you think you are good at and do it well. Set small goals along the way, and in no time, without realising, you have an achievement.
- Being an 'outsider' is sometimes good. You can see things more clearly and probably learn a thing or 2. Right?
- Do you know yourself well? Some people are naturally extrovert, participative. If you are not, just be yourself. Dun give yourself pressure.
- Fear of failure inhibits personal growth.
Real failure is when you fall and decide not to get up. -
If suicides can so easily solve problems, then there won't be any problem in this world liao...?Originally posted by mahai102:u should give him a suicide calendar.... 
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yup... after so much disappointment & rejections, sometimes jus kinda of emotional paralysis.Originally posted by sidestep1984:imo...
sometimes its not that we dun wanna have frens or socialise...
but we are frozen in our state that everyday seems to be an emotional paralysis... -
yeah...i feel u...i just look forward to watever lays in my future...Originally posted by john nash:yup... after so much disappointment & rejections, sometimes jus kinda of emotional paralysis. -
see now this guy got lts of fwen oredi....so many replies so mny fwens....
some other ppl out there got mani company...yeh...food, drinks, se x, fun, sll r not permanent....come troubles need help all gone without a trace....here at sggirls different...see so many advices
better get a pet...they are "friends forever". -
Talkin abt emotional paralysis... i was seated next to the very gal ( a classmate) whom i wanted to know better, jus min ago. I dun know... but i simply had nothin to talk to her. She jus left mins ago... that deja vu feeling of despondent again.
don't know what is wrong with me.... -
you make the first move, well sometimes it's the ladies who make the first move, say "hi" to her or you know.. if you let her go that means that you're not ready to be her new friend, you think too much I guess(am sure you don't want her to go or walk off just like that) think positive and good luckOriginally posted by john nash:Talkin abt emotional paralysis... i was seated next to the very gal ( a classmate) whom i wanted to know better, jus min ago. I dun know... but i simply had nothin to talk to her. She jus left mins ago... that deja vu feeling of despondent again.
don't know what is wrong with me....
we gave you tips about BGR stuffl like that becoz we care about you, it's not becoz we're gonna run away from this website or forums, well some people will run away some won't at all, think about it -
Hi John Nash,
Please see a psychiatrist and seek medication. You have mental illness. The symptoms you describe are that of 'negative schizophrenia' which are loneliness, social withdrawal, apathy, and depression. You may also have "bipolar disorder" at the same time, with symptoms of having wide mood swings.
The psychiatrist will give you medication. It will help you a lot and it is powerful because it affects and balance your brain chemicals. You will see results and feel and think much better.
The people here in the forum are helpful and gave you advice to go out more and make more friends. I'm not saying these are wrong. These are good advice, but you need to combine it with actual medication to be more effective.
I see that you yourself have mentioned "bipolar disorder" in your post and chose "John Nash" as your nickname. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness and John Nash is a famous man who had schizophrenia. I therefore conclude that you yourself have a guess already, or have a knowing already, that you suffer from mental illness. It is good because the first step is to acknowledge and recognize that you have mental illness. The next step is to seek treatment.
I don't know whether you have ever tried seeking treatment in the past. If not, seek treatment now. If yes, continue your treatment.
What is important, you must remember that you do not have to suffer in silence without any treatment, or think you are crazy. It is treatable, although you need to be patient because you may need long-term medication.
Please take action and seek medication.
If you need more help or extra information, please feel free post more, or use the PM function and PM me if you like. -