Hi John, how are you doing?Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects.
EVERYBODY's DESTINATED to DIE... But NOBODY'S DESTINATED for MISERY...Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects.
shld giv u a large,wooden calendar... 2 shuff it up ya ASS HOLEOriginally posted by mahai102:u should give him a suicide calendar....![]()
![]()
and i thought i was the onli one....Originally posted by john nash:23 this year, I have loving & supportive parents, a stable family background & no financial woes, an otherwise good life except for one thing--- I have no friends.
After gradually losing touch with my closest frens of secondary sch & a few unsuccessful relationships, I find myself experiencing dreadful bouts of loneliness, paranoid & depressive mood sporadically.
Can you imagine I have not been to a movie, clubbing or jus going out on a sat for almost the past 2 years… Not because I have no time, no money but simply ‘cos I have no company. The bliss of emotional bonding common to most people has been so elusive to me. Many a times, as I watched the kind of joyous interactions between the people around me, I seriously wondered what is wrong with me.
Whilst watching a movie late one night about the life of a compulsive gambler, he said something that reflects my sentiments quite well “ I always wondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my gambling, or I gambled ‘cos I have no friends. Whatever it is, all I know is I always end up alone at the end of the day.”
I have habitually pondered if I have no friends ‘cos of my depression, or am I depressed ‘cos I have no friends.
I used to be quite certain I must have some deep character flaws. But today, I came to conjecture quite irrationally, that it seems almost my destiny to be lonely. Despite all my efforts, most of my relationships have habitually broken down. Most of the time I tried to ask somebody out, they are either jus “tired” on that day, busy or meeting someone else. I thought getting a partner would make my life slightly better, but as luck would have it, the last girlfriend I had was extremely busy with lots of other friends & basically left me worse off.
I’m perpetually plagued with an “Outsider syndrome” no matter where I go--- my friends are usually closer to their other friends or gf/bf, whilst my own partner seemed emotionally miles away with other people.
On a good day, I tried to rationalized my problems, I am adequately blessed with many things: good parents, material comforts, no physical disabilities, so maybe life was jus being fair. On a bad day, I feel almost suicidal… though its nearly amusing to die ‘ simply cos I have no friends.
After recurring botched attempts at both relationships & friendships, IÂ’m immensely afraid of even the most subtle rejections & feel peculiarly uncomfortable with people increasingly.
Virtually an recluse now, the only social contact I get is the occasion dinner at my grandparentsÂ’ place or visiting a close relative.
Quite ironically, I have no problems talking with members of my extended family, though we are not exactly close. Sometimes, IÂ’m quite assured that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. Other times, the slightest setback may trigger a spiral of self-doubt, self-hatred & memories of previous failures. Over the past few years, IÂ’ve experienced bipolar-disorder characteristic of alternating ecstasy & paralyzing blues. But I still attribute the cause of my emotional turmoil to external factors (unsatisfying relations with friends, unmet expectations) rather than some biological defects.
If suicides can so easily solve problems, then there won't be any problem in this world liao...?Originally posted by mahai102:u should give him a suicide calendar....![]()
![]()
yup... after so much disappointment & rejections, sometimes jus kinda of emotional paralysis.Originally posted by sidestep1984:imo...
sometimes its not that we dun wanna have frens or socialise...
but we are frozen in our state that everyday seems to be an emotional paralysis...
yeah...i feel u...i just look forward to watever lays in my future...Originally posted by john nash:yup... after so much disappointment & rejections, sometimes jus kinda of emotional paralysis.
you make the first move, well sometimes it's the ladies who make the first move, say "hi" to her or you know.. if you let her go that means that you're not ready to be her new friend, you think too much I guess(am sure you don't want her to go or walk off just like that) think positive and good luckOriginally posted by john nash:Talkin abt emotional paralysis... i was seated next to the very gal ( a classmate) whom i wanted to know better, jus min ago. I dun know... but i simply had nothin to talk to her. She jus left mins ago... that deja vu feeling of despondent again.
don't know what is wrong with me....