Troubled mind...
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Hi all thanx for the advices & concern expressed.
It never occurred that I may be “mentally illed” , though over the past few years, I had felt increasingly unable to connect with ppl, experienced occasional bouts of depressive & anxiety attacks (esp during the weekends or festive seasons).
I assumed they were jus normal reactions to the failures/rejections I had experienced.
Last nite, I received a new year greeting card from a long lost fren… I was surprised she still remembered me. It appeared that before I sunk into this “troubling phase” over the past few years, I had pretty satisfying relationships with most frens or ppl around me. I supposed that old frens who knew me before my troubled years & ppl who only knew me in the recent 3 years would have drastically different views about me.
Yesterday, I went out for lunch with 3 classmates after classÂ… something that had not happened for a long time. Something as usual as hanging out with pals after work, but I had problems with for so long. Yesterday happened almost by chanceÂ… I bumped into them as I was leaving sch & asked if I could join them for lunch. Anyway, they were a fun & nice bunchÂ… I managed to keep all my negativity under wrap, we had a great lunch, laughed till our cheeks hurt..
ItÂ’s been a long time since I felt so normalÂ…
At times like this, i pondered over the "normality" of my mind... -
I understand what you're going through 'cause I've been through it before! I had lived in a perpetual state of friend-less environment for years and it always gave me a headache thinking about it. Like you, I am close to my family and relatives and have no problems talking to them, but can't seem to have any friends to chat to. The festive seasons always gave me the creeps and suicidal thoughts too, but eventually it passes over.
I admit that it could be a form of illness, probably depression, but it all depends on the individual, and also, whether they need medication. In my case, I read up a lot of self-help books which I borrowed from the library. It helped! They have a lot of suggestions for recovery and understand the crisis that one is going through.
Well, that was in the past and now I have a gf. But like what you said, she has her own group of friends and sometimes, I tend to feel being neglected. I still don't understand what's wrong. Maybe I belong to the group where I can't be left alone for too long. I always seem to forget that everybody else in the whole world has friends that they can't finish counting on both hands. Sometimes, I've thought of cancelling my mobile phone, since it doesn't ring at all. But there's still my family members and relatives to think about.
Anyway, that's that. Now I've learned that besides gf and friends, there's another thing called hobbies. Maybe you can find something that genuinely interests you and spend time exploring it. You'll be surprised the amount of time that will pass by once you have a hobby. That's all I can say. Try not to brood over it too much, everything will turn out fine...eventually. -
Building walls around yourself would only leave you in a castle of your own....Originally posted by john nash:Hi all thanx for the advices & concern expressed.
It never occurred that I may be “mentally illed” , though over the past few years, I had felt increasingly unable to connect with ppl, experienced occasional bouts of depressive & anxiety attacks (esp during the weekends or festive seasons).
I assumed they were jus normal reactions to the failures/rejections I had experienced.
Last nite, I received a new year greeting card from a long lost fren… I was surprised she still remembered me. It appeared that before I sunk into this “troubling phase” over the past few years, I had pretty satisfying relationships with most frens or ppl around me. I supposed that old frens who knew me before my troubled years & ppl who only knew me in the recent 3 years would have drastically different views about me.
Yesterday, I went out for lunch with 3 classmates after classÂ… something that had not happened for a long time. Something as usual as hanging out with pals after work, but I had problems with for so long. Yesterday happened almost by chanceÂ… I bumped into them as I was leaving sch & asked if I could join them for lunch. Anyway, they were a fun & nice bunchÂ… I managed to keep all my negativity under wrap, we had a great lunch, laughed till our cheeks hurt..
ItÂ’s been a long time since I felt so normalÂ…
At times like this, i pondered over the "normality" of my mind... -
HI thanx for the sincere reply… never expect anyone to share such similar experiences. Looking around everywhere, from my girlfriend to classmates, it appeared as though everyone has more friends, a more “normal” social life than me.Originally posted by Mr Normal:I understand what you're going through 'cause I've been through it before! I had lived in a perpetual state of friend-less environment for years and it always gave me a headache thinking about it. Like you, I am close to my family and relatives and have no problems talking to them, but can't seem to have any friends to chat to. The festive seasons always gave me the creeps and suicidal thoughts too, but eventually it passes over.
I admit that it could be a form of illness, probably depression, but it all depends on the individual, and also, whether they need medication. In my case, I read up a lot of self-help books which I borrowed from the library. It helped! They have a lot of suggestions for recovery and understand the crisis that one is going through.
Well, that was in the past and now I have a gf. But like what you said, she has her own group of friends and sometimes, I tend to feel being neglected. I still don't understand what's wrong. Maybe I belong to the group where I can't be left alone for too long. I always seem to forget that everybody else in the whole world has friends that they can't finish counting on both hands. Sometimes, I've thought of cancelling my mobile phone, since it doesn't ring at all. But there's still my family members and relatives to think about.
Anyway, that's that. Now I've learned that besides gf and friends, there's another thing called hobbies. Maybe you can find something that genuinely interests you and spend time exploring it. You'll be surprised the amount of time that will pass by once you have a hobby. That's all I can say. Try not to brood over it too much, everything will turn out fine...eventually.
Glad to hear that u have a gf now… hope u enjoy the most of ur life. I’m not entirely miserable too… being alone has allowed me to hear my “own voice”. I spent a large part of my youth pandering to the whim & fancy of many friends, & still end up being alone after the party ends. I worked hard chasing after futile relationships..
Guess I seemed to suffer from a peculiar sense of insecurity & loneliness paranoidÂ…hence subconsciously seeking the acceptance & devotion of friends, lovers around me. I have a relatively healthy family environment & no major issues to contend withÂ… so rely where does all these emotional defects stems from.
Wonder what is wrong with me at times?? -
See a psychiatrist and seek medical help if you really cant cope.Originally posted by john nash:Hi all thanx for the advices & concern expressed.
It never occurred that I may be “mentally illed” , though over the past few years, I had felt increasingly unable to connect with ppl, experienced occasional bouts of depressive & anxiety attacks (esp during the weekends or festive seasons).
I assumed they were jus normal reactions to the failures/rejections I had experienced.
Last nite, I received a new year greeting card from a long lost fren… I was surprised she still remembered me. It appeared that before I sunk into this “troubling phase” over the past few years, I had pretty satisfying relationships with most frens or ppl around me. I supposed that old frens who knew me before my troubled years & ppl who only knew me in the recent 3 years would have drastically different views about me.
Yesterday, I went out for lunch with 3 classmates after classÂ… something that had not happened for a long time. Something as usual as hanging out with pals after work, but I had problems with for so long. Yesterday happened almost by chanceÂ… I bumped into them as I was leaving sch & asked if I could join them for lunch. Anyway, they were a fun & nice bunchÂ… I managed to keep all my negativity under wrap, we had a great lunch, laughed till our cheeks hurt..
ItÂ’s been a long time since I felt so normalÂ…
At times like this, i pondered over the "normality" of my mind...
Mount Elizabeth-Charter also offers a 24x7 HELPLINE: 1800 738-9595, and a free needs assessment on psychiatric related matters with our trained counsellors.
The Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) hotline 1800-2214444 is available 24 hours every day to anyone who is despairing, distressed or suicidal. -
Seeing a doctor is ex leh.. You seems to be describing me as well.. lOLOriginally posted by Li Ka Shing:Hi John Nash,
Please see a psychiatrist and seek medication. You have mental illness. The symptoms you describe are that of 'negative schizophrenia' which are loneliness, social withdrawal, apathy, and depression. You may also have "bipolar disorder" at the same time, with symptoms of having wide mood swings.
The psychiatrist will give you medication. It will help you a lot and it is powerful because it affects and balance your brain chemicals. You will see results and feel and think much better.
The people here in the forum are helpful and gave you advice to go out more and make more friends. I'm not saying these are wrong. These are good advice, but you need to combine it with actual medication to be more effective.
I see that you yourself have mentioned "bipolar disorder" in your post and chose "John Nash" as your nickname. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness and John Nash is a famous man who had schizophrenia. I therefore conclude that you yourself have a guess already, or have a knowing already, that you suffer from mental illness. It is good because the first step is to acknowledge and recognize that you have mental illness. The next step is to seek treatment.
I don't know whether you have ever tried seeking treatment in the past. If not, seek treatment now. If yes, continue your treatment.
What is important, you must remember that you do not have to suffer in silence without any treatment, or think you are crazy. It is treatable, although you need to be patient because you may need long-term medication.
Please take action and seek medication.
If you need more help or extra information, please feel free post more, or use the PM function and PM me if you like.
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I read this book before which says that depressed people tend to suffer from "center of the universe" syndrome, meaning we think the whole world revolves around ourselves and "I am the only one suffering from this problem." This is quite untrue and there are other people who are having this problem as well. We just don't know any.Originally posted by john nash:HI thanx for the sincere reply… never expect anyone to share such similar experiences. Looking around everywhere, from my girlfriend to classmates, it appeared as though everyone has more friends, a more “normal” social life than me.
Glad to hear that u have a gf now… hope u enjoy the most of ur life. I’m not entirely miserable too… being alone has allowed me to hear my “own voice”. I spent a large part of my youth pandering to the whim & fancy of many friends, & still end up being alone after the party ends. I worked hard chasing after futile relationships..
Guess I seemed to suffer from a peculiar sense of insecurity & loneliness paranoidÂ…hence subconsciously seeking the acceptance & devotion of friends, lovers around me. I have a relatively healthy family environment & no major issues to contend withÂ… so rely where does all these emotional defects stems from.
Wonder what is wrong with me at times??
Unfortunately, urban life makes people lonely and we think that we are the only ones that are alone when other people we do not know of(could even be our neighbour!) is thinking the same thing. I understand that family and relatives cannot be our counsellor all the time, and all they can do is offer advice...eventually we are the ones to climb back up.
Do something(like a hobby) to distract yourself from the lonliness and insecurities, and probably, you would feel better. The first step is admitting you have a problem and wanting to solve it. But hey, at least from this forum, you know you are not alone. -
What I can say is, medication is effective, although it may be long term
There is a type of drugs called atypical antipsychotics. They work really well and results with patients are very good.
If u bypass this option of professional treatment and medication, I don't know whether it is wise or not.
When this medication leads to real and significant improvement which are measurable by tests, yet u don't take up this option, I don't know whether it is advisable or not.
If I were u, I would seek treatment.
Already several years of having this problem, how long do u think u need for recovery if u try it without medication? Not trying to discourage u but u have to be more realistic. Why not get medication? Go all the way, don't go half way.