Love or be Loved?

• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 13:14

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  Such pain comes when we expect something that cannot be achieved. Since True Love or Perfect Love is intangible and non-existance, the pursue of it will render a person in pain since it is an unattainable goal.

  wouldn't life be a much simpler thing if we had chosen to be spectators of love instead? life is short, so i'd jux luff when i fall out of love. it's just part and parcel of growing up, that's all.
• greengoblin

  4 Feb 05, 13:28

  Originally posted by devoid05:

  wouldn't life be a much simpler thing if we had chosen to be spectators of love instead? life is short, so i'd jux luff when i fall out of love. it's just part and parcel of growing up, that's all.

  That will be an ideal. However, as spectators, it means one cannot take part in the experiment of love as it will affect the results
  
  The problem with love is many people have an idealized over hyped romantic version of it which does not suit the practical needs that governs our reality. It is impossible to live on love alone.. many factors like financial stability, children comes into play. If we are to find a love hat is closest to True Love, I will say teenage romance is the closest as teenagers truly love each other for who they are and and there are no external factors governing this love.
  
  But as you all know, teenage romance almost never last.
• icyprincess

  4 Feb 05, 13:31

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  Such pain comes when we expect something that cannot be achieved. Since True Love or Perfect Love is intangible and non-existance, the pursue of it will render a person in pain since it is an unattainable goal.

  is it too much to ask for someone to love becos of love itself? not bcos dat person wants to get out of loneliness? and is it too much to ask for that person who wanted to get into a r/s with me to commit?
  
  i.c.y
• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 13:50

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  That will be an ideal. However, as spectators, it means one cannot take part in the experiment of love as it will affect the results
  
  The problem with love is many people have an idealized over hyped romantic version of it which does not suit the practical needs that governs our reality. It is impossible to live on love alone.. many factors like financial stability, children comes into play. If we are to find a love hat is closest to True Love, I will say teenage romance is the closest as teenagers truly love each other for who they are and and there are no external factors governing this love.
  
  But as you all know, teenage romance almost never last.

  to me, the most poignant scenario of love ever witnessed is that of elderly couples holding hands together.
• greengoblin

  4 Feb 05, 13:51

  Originally posted by icyprincess:

  is it too much to ask for someone to love becos of love itself? not bcos dat person wants to get out of loneliness? and is it too much to ask for that person who wanted to get into a r/s with me to commit?
  
  i.c.y

  The problem lies in the fact that generally Men take a long time to reach maturity mentally compared to woman... commitment can be viewed as a stage where a woman sub-consciously wants to start a deeper relationship leading to even marriage with a guy. Unfortunately commitment varies in different stages. It changes in intensity as a person ages. Hence, it is easier for two older couples to stick together due to their change in perspective. Also this is one reason why a girl will usually take a guy who is older to be with her.
  
  Milady, I know u feel the hurt but give yourself time. If you are willing to wait for the guy in question to mature and come to a same way length as you... it may be a blessing in disguise...otherwise, try to seek other forms of love rather than one that is near the standard of True Love.
  
• greengoblin

  4 Feb 05, 13:53

  Originally posted by devoid05:

  to me, the most poignant scenario of love ever witnessed is that of elderly couples holding hands together.

  That too can be viewed as one that approximates True Love as it has gone through all trials of life. I agree with you. Unfortunately, to seek True Love as a young person is impractical
• HENG@

  4 Feb 05, 13:54

  do not love. love is overrated.
• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 13:55

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  That too can be viewed as one that approximates True Love as it has gone through all trials of life. I agree with you. Unfortunately, to seek True Love as a young person is impractical

  so i'd just take the liberty to laugh when my bubble's burst.
• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 13:56

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  do not love. love is overrated.

  then what?? hate?
• HENG@

  4 Feb 05, 14:01

  Originally posted by devoid05:

  then what?? hate?

  u dun have to hate. why do people think it's either hate or love? what about inbetween? can i not love nor hate someone?
• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 14:08

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  u dun have to hate. why do people think it's either hate or love? what about inbetween? can i not love nor hate someone?

  cos lukewarmness is the worst state to be in.
• icyprincess

  4 Feb 05, 14:13

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  The problem lies in the fact that generally Men take a long time to reach maturity mentally compared to woman... commitment can be viewed as a stage where a woman sub-consciously wants to start a deeper relationship leading to even marriage with a guy. Unfortunately commitment varies in different stages. It changes in intensity as a person ages. Hence, it is easier for two older couples to stick together due to their change in perspective. Also this is one reason why a girl will usually take a guy who is older to be with her.
  
  Milady, I know u feel the hurt but give yourself time. If you are willing to wait for the guy in question to mature and come to a same way length as you... it may be a blessing in disguise...otherwise, try to seek other forms of love rather than one that is near the standard of True Love.
  

  I already broke up with him 2 weeks ago. It still hurts.
  
  i.c.y
• HENG@

  4 Feb 05, 14:14

  Originally posted by devoid05:

  cos lukewarmness is the worst state to be in.

  lukewarmness? what the hell? no body ever heard about being neutral about someone?
• FeowFeow

  4 Feb 05, 14:15

  Yesh, I admit tt there're those who measure love like tt... But frankly, izzit all a r'ship is abt? Counting & counting & measuring, there's never an end to it. Mebbi those girls r young, they've Not experienced much in life, or they haven't gone thru deep heartaches.
  
  Basically, my reply is based on wat my r'ship wif my partner is. We dun discuss who loves who more. There's trust, there's support, there's understanding, there's affection, there's frenship, & there's alot to smilez abt. Who's to be the judge of who loves who more? I can't be bothered to even try to measure.
  
  And tt, suits us juz fine : )
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  I know some gals measure love by how much their bf pei them. Some even go to the extend of comparing their current bf with their ex when they feel that he doesn ot pei them enough So there is already an attempt to measure love by the girl already

• devoid05

  4 Feb 05, 14:17

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  lukewarmness? what the hell? no body ever heard about being neutral about someone?

  sorry i don't quite get what you mean.
  your question "can i not love or hate"? why must it be love or hate?" was interpreted as neutrality on my part. sorry for the misinterpretion.
  
• FeowFeow

  4 Feb 05, 14:19

  Let's put it this way : ) Juz another view...
  
  True Love means u wanna sacrifice it all for tt 1 person u love. But the person u love, loves u too much to let u sacrifice it all for him : )
  
  Oh well, tt's juz a thot : )
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by greengoblin:

  A simple version to prove my hypothesis
  
  Let us define True Love as wanting to give up everything for the other party and not wanting the other party to sacrifice himself or herself for the other since they want the other party to be happy
  
  Assuming True Love exist and both parties have True Love for each other and believes in the other party having True Love for the other. This implies that both parties will give up everything for each other. However, this contradicts the definition of True Love as in expecting the other party to have True Love for you, you expect him to sacrifice his all for you when in actual fact the definition of True Love forbids such a sacrifice from the other party. Hence True Love is a paradox in itself and should not be expected.
  
  Love between couples is conditional no matter what... two cannot live as cheaply as one.

• HENG@

  4 Feb 05, 14:19

  Originally posted by devoid05:

  sorry i don't quite get what you mean.
  your question "can i not love or hate"? why must it be love or hate?" was interpreted as neutrality on my part. sorry for the misinterpretion.
  

  neutrality is exactly what I mean! lukewarmness is actually liking someone. Being neutral means u dun feel for someone but u dun dislike them either.
• ShutterBug

  21 Apr 05, 16:39

  Love, does not take or make measurements.
  
  True love, is im-measureable.
  
  To love, is in fact, better than to be loved. As is likewise better to give, than to receive.