What's your thoughts on more locals marrying oversea ?
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Not happy don't get married. Problem solved.
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Exactly!Originally posted by fymk:hahah what low esteem?
Yes I am educated . Yes I have everything I need. I don't need a guy to provide for me. A nice partner to understand and respect me for who I am is what I want - not some power game of who serve who.
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There are plenty of intelligent women in vietnam and china - if they have to marry you to step out of poverty and their countries - why not? Just tolerate a loser's attitude until they meet a better partner and ditch you . By then you might lost your property and everything. I might just get a good laugh when I see the topic about foreign girls using men to get what they want.
Those losers they just want a slave. Put yourself into such position, how would you feel?
Don't use gentle as an excuse.
In fact you don't need to wait, there are already plenty of such cases where the wife run away. Not difficult to see such news like “foreign wife run away with all their money” on the papers.
Another example is, they already have a lover at their hometown. Life over there is tough, so they come out with a plan. Since guy is a bit hard to make big money for their future, what can they expect if the guy work as construction worker? How much can they earn? Usually the girl can earn easy and fast money. So, some might just come here to sell their body, after they earn enough, they just go back to their country and start a family with their lover.
Some might just marry to a foreign guy (e.g. Singaporean), and when she saves enough money, she will just run away and back to their country, happily married with their lover.
What is the difference between selling themselves to one guy (so-called husband), and serving many guys? What is the difference between letting 1 ugly loser touching them every night compare to touching by many ugly ah-peh? Well, virginity can exchange a better future life, it's worth it, at least for them.
So, loser, the so-called "wife" that you are hugging, or f-king might imagining their lover at their hometown. They just close their eyes and let the big-fat-pig-ugly-loser to do it to them, while imagining a bright future life with their lover.
I had seen such case in real life.
So, let see who has the last laugh. Our lovely local girls? The ugly loser? Or their slave (or so-called wife)? -
Funny, now the topic talks about prostitution.. any-way, its better than those
intellectual wh0res who go for ONS.. that itself, is worse than a prostitute
who are at the least being paid for their job.. -
People make their choices on one night stand- bad or good - it is their choice to risk STDs or not.Originally posted by caramon:Funny, now the topic talks about prostitution.. any-way, its better than those
intellectual wh0res who go for ONS.. that itself, is worse than a prostitute
who are at the least being paid for their job..
Funny , I know alot of intellectual men and women who are not into such a lifestyle choice. No need for personal attacks.
So caramon, your statement really reeks of the green eyed envy monster because you probably got one intelligent woman who is your superior in your career .Hence your are sore about intelligent women due to your inability to compete with them. -
I think its a knee jerk reaction to the rising divorce rates and the broken-up families in countries such as the US. Men realise that perhaps 'modern' women are not the best choice and thus turn their attention to more 'traditional' women.
It's sad that the more modern a women is, the less chances of her getting married. But I guess that is just how it is. There is no equality in sexes. Men are still doing the asking( Will you marry me? ). Perhaps, if the latter was not true, there would be a more social balance.
For now, there is no real motivation for men to meet up to local women's expectations. 'Modern' women are perhaps nice to have but not very practical or are too expensive when the alternatives are just as good. The 'rewards' isn't very clear.
Is moral obligation and social pressure the only reason why local men should marry local women? It's the right thing to do. Only losers would marry overseas women. Overseas women are more than likely to run away when they have enough.
I think local men are smart enough to see through these stereotypes. That's why they are frustated that articles on low-income men marrying 'non-intellectual' overseas women are repeatedly published when the fact that the average men do marry overseas too and they are not necessarily 'non-intellectual'. They know that 'traditional' does not equate to 'non-intellectual' or 'slaves'. Why should society deem what is best for men?
So I guess the 'traditional' local women are still the most sought after. Unless the government start a 'Marry Local Women' campaign..Haha..I hope that never happens. -
Another thread bashing SGrean women. Lemme share wif u why I'm wif someone who's Not local (Not angmoh, juz Not local).
SG men r prettie much chauvanistic, they still haf the same thinking as urs. They believe women shd be submissive outta tradition, & Not giving in cosh of love.
Their egos r so bloated tt they can't stand the thot of women doing better, all in the name of contributing to household expenses & to the future. They seek to bring the women down, & to destroy her self-confidence, & induce guilt for doing better.
Wat haf I gained wif a non-local?
1. Support for my career. He celebrates whenever I get promoted, or do well in my work, & he gives me little gifts to encourage me.
2. Plenty of affection. We dun make out fully in public, but I do get a gentle caress on my cheek now & then.
3. A best fren. Someone who doesn't make me feel guilty for doing better than him. He watches my achievements wif pride & happiness. He encourages me to tok abt my frustrations @ work, & sometimes tries to provide solutions.
Overall, he's Not demanding nor expects me to kowtow to him. He understands tt whenever I give in, it's cosh I love him & appreciates the gesture. To him, it's NOT a given tt women shd serve the man.
That, wld be true love.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by caramon:I grew up in an era that has bought the feminist lie that men and women are identical.. In our culture, women are encouraged to do everything men do, and vice versa.. I believe in equal opportunity but I mistook "equal" with "identical", and this retarded my personal development by 30 years.. I doubt if I am alone..
Femininity is defined by "loving relationships" Feminine psychology is founded on nurturing and loving husbands and children, and thereby being needed and loved.. Women are the engines of love, acting much like the heart in the body.. They create the family that is the fundamental building block of society and the foundry of the future..
But, singaporean females refuse to acknowledge the fact that THEY are the ones who've become unattractive & unfeminine to local men..
So what does today's singaporean woman bring to the marriage table? So she has her own career, her own car, her own business.. So what? A man also has his own career, his own car, his own business.. So where's the difference.. For a man, it's just like marrying another man..
Nature had intended men to be masculine & women to be feminine.. That's why there's a ying & a yang.. Opposites attract & complement each other.. If a woman has qualities that are the same as a man, where's the attraction? It's just like being with another man...
I believe THAT'S the real reason why singaporean Men are marrying foreign women.. It's because these women haven't forgotten how to be feminine unlike their counter-parts in singapore... -
its like wadever. who cares as long as the marriage lasts?
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Just marry the person whom you love. Who cares if it is local or non-local. You happy can liao.
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That's the point isn't it? Everyone wants a partner like your husband. Someone who's not demanding and appreciative. That's what local men are complaining about. They don't complain that local women don't 'kowtow' to them.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Overall, he's Not demanding nor expects me to kowtow to him. He understands tt whenever I give in, it's cosh I love him & appreciates the gesture. To him, it's NOT a given tt women shd serve the man.
That, wld be true love.
FeowFeow
Everyone wants to play the warrior. Noone wants to be the healer. -
up to you to decide for yourself
personally I have had it with local girls .... you can have em
I am going elsewhere -
i do agree with tt.. men r from mars n women from venus.. two totally diff entities( excluding gays, she-males like SBSK, les, trans etc).. have relatively diff place on Earth..Originally posted by caramon:I grew up in an era that has bought the feminist lie that men and women are identical.. In our culture, women are encouraged to do everything men do, and vice versa.. I believe in equal opportunity but I mistook "equal" with "identical", and this retarded my personal development by 30 years.. I doubt if I am alone..
Femininity is defined by "loving relationships" Feminine psychology is founded on nurturing and loving husbands and children, and thereby being needed and loved.. Women are the engines of love, acting much like the heart in the body.. They create the family that is the fundamental building block of society and the foundry of the future..
But, singaporean females refuse to acknowledge the fact that THEY are the ones who've become unattractive & unfeminine to local men..
So what does today's singaporean woman bring to the marriage table? So she has her own career, her own car, her own business.. So what? A man also has his own career, his own car, his own business.. So where's the difference.. For a man, it's just like marrying another man..
Nature had intended men to be masculine & women to be feminine.. That's why there's a ying & a yang.. Opposites attract & complement each other.. If a woman has qualities that are the same as a man, where's the attraction? It's just like being with another man...
I believe THAT'S the real reason why singaporean Men are marrying foreign women.. It's because these women haven't forgotten how to be feminine unlike their counter-parts in singapore...
Anyway.. there's nothing wrong finding mates from abroad.. i dun understand the big hu-ha abt such matters when it comes to men looking for chinese, malaysian or vietnamese brides.. men r juz looking for sb more appealling to them.. juz like females engaging with foreigners.. but somehow women marrying foreign husbands hasnt generated much publicity in the papers.. how fair is tt?
i guess as many have mentioned.. it takes alot more to attract n please sg women.. with higher education status n i guess more demanding expectations.. many men feel they r unable to approach them n the women feel these men as beneath them.. so the alternative is these men going abroad while these demanding n possibly feminist women stay single..
No matter how much education or status or power.. women r women.. they should strive to retain their feminity.. coz tt's wat uniquely define them.. if they r not comfortable acknowledging these fact.. the balance in this world will be distorted.. -
because they were not resorting to match making agencies. duh.Originally posted by Gackt247:Anyway.. there's nothing wrong finding mates from abroad.. i dun understand the big hu-ha abt such matters when it comes to men looking for chinese, malaysian or vietnamese brides.. men r juz looking for sb more appealling to them.. juz like females engaging with foreigners.. but somehow women marrying foreign husbands hasnt generated much publicity in the papers.. how fair is tt? -
If a local man marries a foreign wife and truly loves her for who she is , I don't have a problem with that.
HOWEVER if he says it is because she is obedient, will serve every whim and fancy , and will worship the ground he walks on , I have a problem with that.
I would like to point out to some male chauvanists : there are matrilinear cultures - where women control everything. Some malay tribes like the minangkabaus are matriachal . Some native american cultures are matrilinear etc. I don't see their men having problems with it. Jews are particular about jewish origin - mom must be a rightfully born jew to beget a jewish child. At one stage in ancient history, the chinese were matrilinear as well then their men had a problem with it ....so chinese became patriachal but the women empresses - ones we call rulers behind the curtain - pop up along history.
So what if a local girl is highly educated? What's the problem if men are equally capable? Everyone is different - some are demanding , some are not. If you have no luck finding one who is good ,then it is hard luck. Some people will never find soulmates , some will. We will make mistakes in relationships - that is just human . Human beings are not perfect, be it male or female - accept that. -
Why local males are resorting to match making services ? They poor and ugly ? loser ?Originally posted by foxwalk:because they were not resorting to match making agencies. duh. -
Erm, you are going out of point.. the question here was about Femininity.. THEY are becoming unattractive & unfeminine to local men..Originally posted by fymk:So what if a local girl is highly educated? What's the problem if men are equally capable? Everyone is different - some are demanding , some are not. If you have no luck finding one who is good ,then it is hard luck. Some people will never find soulmates , some will. We will make mistakes in relationships - that is just human . Human beings are not perfect, be it male or female - accept that. -
Not all local men. Just a few losers who cannot compete will crown career women as unfeminine and unattractive. My friends are happily married to local boys. I don't hear complaints from them. One has a child now but her husband and her works.Originally posted by caramon:Erm, you are going out of point.. the question here was about Femininity.. THEY are becoming unattractive & unfeminine to local men..
My other friend has a masters yet she married a traditional hongkong boy. They are still very much in love.
So what's your point about power career women? What is your right to generalise all educated local women about unfemininity? Whether they get married or not , will it affect you? That's their choice , not yours to make. -
Respect & appreciation shd be 2-way, tt's wat an honest r'ship shd be. Wat's the use of someone giving in outta fear? It only breeds resentment in the end. It's better to support each other than to expect & demand the support u need, without a thot for ur partner.
It doesn't matter to me whether my partner's a local or a foreigner. He juz happens to be from overseas. But wat drew me to him was his character. Sure, he isn't rich, nor as driven as some of our local men, but he gives me the support, understanding & affection I need.
Without him, I wldn't haf been able to devote myself to my career too.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by kheldorin:That's the point isn't it? Everyone wants a partner like your husband. Someone who's not demanding and appreciative. That's what local men are complaining about. They don't complain that local women don't 'kowtow' to them.
Everyone wants to play the warrior. Noone wants to be the healer. -
There're those, who refuse to admit defeat, so they take 1 pt, & run away wif it.
I wholeheartedly agree wif u. It's a case of sour grapes. Can't get our local girls? Bash them & sez they're sour.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by fymk:People make their choices on one night stand- bad or good - it is their choice to risk STDs or not.
Funny , I know alot of intellectual men and women who are not into such a lifestyle choice. No need for personal attacks.
So caramon, your statement really reeks of the green eyed envy monster because you probably got one intelligent woman who is your superior in your career .Hence your are sore about intelligent women due to your inability to compete with them. -
The fact that a foreign bride is ready to dedicate her life to her family (ie her husband and her family) is already an indicator that those foreign bride is of a higher social status than most singaporean women..Originally posted by fymk:Not all local men. Just a few losers who cannot compete will crown career women as unfeminine and unattractive. My friends are happily married to local boys. I don't hear complaints from them. One has a child now but her husband and her works.
My other friend has a masters yet she married a traditional hongkong boy. They are still very much in love.
So what's your point about power career women? What is your right to generalise all educated local women about unfemininity? Whether they get married or not , will it affect you? That's their choice , not yours to make.
It's pretty obvious that local women care only about "social status".. Whereas most Singaporean men, is just looking for someone to love him as much as he loves her..
So what's about femininity ? It was NOT AT ALL degrading for a woman to peel prawns for a man.. It is, in fact, one of the small ways of showing concern for someone that you like.. It is the equivalent of a man drawing a woman closer to him to give her warmth aka in cold winter.. That's the difference.. -
Dear Caramon,
Seriously, do u think all foreign brides dedicate their lives to their families? And do they all do it due to love? Wat's wrong wif SGrean women who wanna work & contribute to household expenses? And wat makes u think they're any less dedicated to their families?
Are u totally convinced tt it's only the local women who care abt social status? I can think of worse. And r u sure tt SG men r only looking for women to love them, or r they looking for a wifey they can boast abt? I noe many SG guys who're chasing after "social status" too.
It's oso Not degrading for a man to peel prawns for his wifey. In fact, it probably differentiates him from the petty-minded guys who feel it's their RIGHT to demand their wifeys be subservient to them. It shows his love & dedication to his family members too.
However, it's ur choice, of cosh. Nobody's forcing u to take on a local & capable woman. If u wan a free servant, then by all means, choose as u will.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by caramon:The fact that a foreign bride is ready to dedicate her life to her family (ie her husband and her family) is already an indicator that those foreign bride is of a higher social status than most singaporean women..
It's pretty obvious that local women care only about "social status".. Whereas most Singaporean men, is just looking for someone to love him as much as he loves her..
So what's about femininity ? It was NOT AT ALL degrading for a woman to peel prawns for a man.. It is, in fact, one of the small ways of showing concern for someone that you like.. It is the equivalent of a man drawing a woman closer to him to give her warmth aka in cold winter.. That's the difference.. -
I wonder what the foreign bride will do in SG if she does not dedicate her life to her family. She has no one else to turn to being alone in Singapore. Anyway what has dedication to the family got to do with social status? They are like mutually exclusive.Originally posted by caramon:The fact that a foreign bride is ready to dedicate her life to her family (ie her husband and her family) is already an indicator that those foreign bride is of a higher social status than most singaporean women..
It's pretty obvious that local women care only about "social status".. Whereas most Singaporean men, is just looking for someone to love him as much as he loves her..
So what's about femininity ? It was NOT AT ALL degrading for a woman to peel prawns for a man.. It is, in fact, one of the small ways of showing concern for someone that you like.. It is the equivalent of a man drawing a woman closer to him to give her warmth aka in cold winter.. That's the difference..
Are you sure it is only local women who care only about "social status" Local men are equally guilty of it. How many local guys want a trophy gf or wife!
I believe in a successful marriage. It is not the woman who peels the prawn for the guy only. The guy will also have to peel the prawn for the lady. The problem is that the guys who complain are the ones who want the woman to peel prawns for them only. -
Why can't you peel prawn for your girlfriend? Why must always she peel for you? No hands har! If she want to peel, be happy lah. If she don't want, no need to get upset also.Originally posted by caramon:So what's about femininity ? It was NOT AT ALL degrading for a woman to peel prawns for a man.. It is, in fact, one of the small ways of showing concern for someone that you like.. It is the equivalent of a man drawing a woman closer to him to give her warmth aka in cold winter.. That's the difference.. -
Gana me better still
I'm hopeless @ peeling prawns I peel, prawn fly My guy oso scared of me liao Later gana piak his face So he peel for me instead
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Qitai:Why can't you peel prawn for your girlfriend? Why must always she peel for you? No hands har! If she want to peel, be happy lah. If she don't want, no need to get upset also. -
There's nothing wrong in getting a submissive wife..
Bible did ask women to be submissive before their husband.. The history has shown us how many break-up marriage is filed by wife who refused to be submissive..
Simple action such as peeling prawns is a display of concern and tender loving care.. I can hardly name any feminine action display by singaporean women when most of them lack the ability to show concern for their men in even the smallest of ways...such as peeling prawns.. -
You no qualify for me also. My girlfriend can be very either independent, submissive or demanding depending on her mood. Sometimes, I lazy. And she see I never touch prawn, so she will peel for me loh. Other times, I feel more energtic, but will always give the first two peeled prawn to her first (If not, she will stare at me or show me that pitiful lookOriginally posted by FeowFeow:Gana me better still I'm hopeless @ peeling prawns I peel, prawn fly My guy oso scared of me liao Later gana piak his face So he peel for me instead
FeowFeow ). So, sometimes, she make me happy, sometimes I make her happy loh. Give and take lah!