i love him!!!
-
hi all..i have a problem...
I'm an 18 yr old gal from one of the JCs..
i have this friend M who's in year 2 ..he's really good to me, he treats me juz like any guy would treat his gf..even tho we have never got together. he would send me home every week after my ECA even tho we travel in different directions and he's tired. I mean, there are so many other girls in the same ECA..but why did he choose to just send me home? He'd ask me out frequently and be a perfect gentleman when he is with me.
During the june holidays, he helped me to prepare for my mid year exams, helping me almost every other day. When I got back my results, he was very concerned and was rather disappointed as I did not do well, even tho he did not show the disappointment explicitly. Then on one occasion, he even gave me a pooh bear..for apparently no reason at all. We were having dinner at tt time.
He'd be very concerned each time we are together, he'll keep asking me whether i'm tired, hungry or thirsty whenever we go out. He'd even buy food and drinks for me even tho I say itz ok, I'm not hungry or thirsty. On some occasions he even asked me to get the same clothing as him, so tt we have identical stuff.
There are also many occasions when we ran into pple from our skool, and even once, he lied to his friend abt where he was going. M was supposed to meet me on tt day, but I was late, so he went walking ard the area first. He ran into his classmate, a very good friend of his. M told his friend tt he was going off soon, however, a couple of hours later, his friend caught the two of us together, and confronted M in a joking manner..
However, recently, things started changing. He got back his mid year exam results, it was good, but not up to his expectations. He was one grade short of his target. He started to distant himself from me, until last saturday when he called me up and asked me out cos he needed to return me my notes. We met up in the evening, and chatted for quite a while before I said tt I gtg. He sent me home at 11pm, only this time he waited for the lift door to close before he went off.
Somehow, I more or less decided tt I love him, cos he gave me a special feeling everytime we were together, this has been going on since the start of the year and I'm very sure itz not a crush.
Yesterday, I confessed to him abt my feelings for him. He actually told me tt he's not ready for another relationship now as he has not gotten over his ex-gf who treated him like shit, and he thinks tt gals suck. Studies are more important for him, and he thinks tt we are not suitable for each other. In his reply, he did not state whether he only treated me as a friend, or something more. He did not mention anything about how he feels towards me.
So right now, I'm very confused and lost and I do not noe what to do...if only some kind souls would help me to analyse my situation now.... -
Have you asked him why he treated you so well in the first place ? And did you tell him because of that, he made you feel special whenever he's around ? If he says he don't ... He's obviously lying ...
For me ... i think he loves you as much too ... ( it's pretty obvious ... why would anyone treat a casual friend like what you just said ?!) Just that his grades are slipping by one grade ... perhaps you could help him on that. Call him out for a chat or dinner ... and ask about this ... Well ... Good luck !
------------------
The night is near and dawn is coming... I Lay awake on my bed thinking of you... I wonder ... when will we meet again ? When will we talk once more ? I Know my love to you is deep and true ... but i wonder how you feel for me ... -
Sad Ger,
I may not be able to help much in yr problem but then guess you will not mind if i give u some of my views.
When i 1st read yr post, really find that the guy, M, is really a nice guy, sensitive, polite, caring.....basically a SNAG. And i was also slightly confused by his change of attitude towards you, cos all teh stuffs he do in the 1st place, identified T-shirts, send u home (even diff direction) etc are ways and means to get closer to you.
As for his changes, maybe we can analysis this a little:
1)He is giving the two of u a chance, after he failed his 1st relationships, but however after giving u all so many time together, he still felt uncomfortable in some ways, like what u say, maybe, still thinking of the past relationship.
2)He really wanna concentrated on his As as he felt that his future is more important. And the poor result really affected him. And he felt that he's not capable of handling both studies and relationship together.
Well since u enjoyed his company, why dun u just maintain yr friendship this way 1st, give him, and of cos yrself more time. Sometimes happiness is more important rite? Maybe u can appraoch him again after his As. i am sure u will get a diff situation then.
So my conclusion is, maintain the happy situation u all r having now, wait for the rite time, and at the mean time give yrself more times......... a hint is, if he goes army that's the best time cos he will miss a lot of things.
Nevertheless, wishing u all the best eh, guess that's all i can help. Cheerios~
Regards -
thanks a lot for your opinions..
I guess you've given me an opportunity to look at things from other's POV [point of view] ,..in some ways that i never thot of..but one thing is..I tihnk he's avoiding me in skool!! his frenz always notice me and seem to tell him whenever they see me anywhere near..but he juz avoids....
-
It's natural for him to avoid you in school ... maybe if he looks at you, he'll be tempted to go out with you again or something ... that's why he's avoiding you ... This is pretty normal .. i guess like Atti said ... Wait until after The A's .~ Good luck!
-
well...juz posting my two-cent worth of reply.
I feel tat u should either tok to him and clarify everything rather then to keep thinking bout it.(might affect ur mood,exam blah blah blah one) or if he realli avoid u and dun wanna tok to u or get near u...juz ignore him and continue ur life...
I mean wat is he to u that he can come and go as he like into ur life. One moment cold, one moment hot. Even if u and he realli get together someday, will he like becos of his studies or anything else and then avoid u again. If he does tat at tat time, u will be so pityful.
Well...tats my 2-cent worth of advice. U take care and dun think so much or else wait u end up like me full of white hair at such tender age..hehehe
------------------
if love is blind, please hold my hand cos i'm blinded by your love. -
It's normal for a guy to react that especially when he couldnt forget his ex-..........What is love??
------------------
Glenn Ong: " what do you think of Bananaman, honkie?"
Honkie: " i think it's about learning to live with your shortcoming.For example, Bananaman is a boy but he sounds like a girl, very sad for us but he is always happy, always singing like a virgin."
Bananaman: "ergh!!! "
Glenn Ong: "Now, let me introduce a new friend, Shortfart.what do u think about bananaman,shortfart?
Shortfart: " hello, i think all of u are very toopid, Bananaman is all about life, sex and bananas." The Bananaman everyday at sgcafe....stay tunned :Þ -
Just tok to him again
Wish u good luck
Heeheehee :p :p :p
------------------
* JuSt AnoTher StiNgrAy iN thE sEa * -
Hello there again sad ger,Originally posted by [sAd_gEr]: thanks a lot for your opinions..
I guess you've given me an opportunity to look at things from other's POV [point of view] ,..in some ways that i never thot of..but one thing is..I tihnk he's avoiding me in skool!! his frenz always notice me and seem to tell him whenever they see me anywhere near..but he juz avoids....
grad to know that u see things from others POV now, i mean, well other pple's POV, like mine, may not be appropriate in some area but then if out of 10 points if 1 is useful, i think its worth it. So any update this few days? Kindly share with all as i am sure there are really a few kind souls ard very willing to help and know what's going on......
and yes, aaron84z is correct in some ways, that is the reason he avoid u, the reason i can think of is that if he talks to much, or get too close to you, he may be tempted to 'lost his direction' again. Since he tried so had and finally managed to surpressed his feelings for u (i am sure he has), he wouldn't want it to come back so easy, and i am quite sure that's what he is thinking.
Relax, maybe u can try dropping he a email or 2.....but make it short and sweet, just a couple of word of concern......i am sure he will be touch. BUT, but, pls do not write anything too mushy, to protect yrself (hope u understand what i mean by protect).
Okie, think that's all for now, if need some other thoughts, just drop in a post. All the best ya.
Regards -
Do keep us updated ... For we all want to know what happens ... and do try and help whenever possible ... try listening to Atti's advice
------------------
The night is near and dawn is coming... I Lay awake on my bed thinking of you... I wonder ... when will we meet again ? When will we talk once more ? I Know my love to you is deep and true ... but i wonder how you feel for me ... -
....he's still avoiding me in skool and i really hate tt....itz like..can't we even be friends even if we cannot get together?? haizz ...I miss him.....
you guys noe what..I'm the only gal tt he's so nice to.....but then haizz...why ...
[This message has been edited by [sAd_gEr] (edited 29 July 2000).] -
It feels like u wanna do something to stop the distance from spreading ... but u're afraid and dunno wat to do .. Is that it?
I've been through it too .. and the best way is .. to confront him and say watever u wanna say to him .. and after u've said it (gotten watever off ur chest) just drop the matter and move on ..
Most pple regret wat they could have done and why they didnt do it rather than regreting wat they did.. I guess coz they'll be wondering "if i did that..the outcome might have been different"
The outcome of the thing done, we are going through it now. The outcome of the undone deed is something that we'll never know..coz we never did..
Confused? kakaka.. so am i =P
Follow ur heart.. -
Confront him .... go for an outright talk ... ask him what he wants ... and try to be friends at least with him ... Summary ... Ask him out for a real talk.
-
Sad Ger,
Relax pls, no point getting so emotional upset rite now as its not gonna help in anyway.......i know u r a smart ger, and u can sure think well, so pls control yr emotional now. Solve think with a cool head.
No1 in this world like to be ignored. And i am sure many of us had encountered the situation like yrs now.
And yes, aaronz84z was rite, if i am in yr shoe, i will give him a call, or ask him out for a cup of coffee and trash things out a little. Ask him what eactly does he wants. But remember to keep yr head level during the talks if not things might turn out bad.
to be fair to yrself, sometimes u just have to be cruel to yrself, if his not meant to be yrs, wish him well, and leave him...... its good for every1...... that's love, pple learn through the hard way.
Dun just complaint, do something yrself..... all we forumities can give u is some advice and that's it. You fight for yr won happiness, not us. Get it girl? -
I hope that he's not treating you as his gf's shadow, anyway, since he said he's not prepared for a relationship, why not you juz test him by ignoring him for some time, see what his response will be? If he really have feelings for you, he will definitely call you, then you ask him directly loh...Originally posted by [sAd_gEr]:So right now, I'm very confused and lost and I do not noe what to do...if only some kind souls would help me to analyse my situation now....
------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Get a life lah
u stupid gal
He not the only guy around lah
Wake up your stupid idea can or not?
You want me to give you two slaps to wake you up??? -
immune: if you dun wish to give your advice then shut up and get the hell out of here okay. you have no empathy at all
-
sad ger: Give the guy some time 2 sort things out. However, if u r really feeling vexed abt this, give the guy a call, tok 2 him abt it, clear the air. It's better than 2 keep mum...
But still I think u should focus on ur studies, get into a uni then consider in getting into a relation...
------------------
Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
that cannot fly -
i dun have the guts to talk to him!! i dun dare to call him either.....
-
Dear Sad Ger
Yes indeed , having a face to face n if possible a heart to heart talk . Let him know how painful it is for u to be avoided by him .
He cares for u... tts for sure... by letting him know how much its hurting u...how much it had affected ur life... surely he wouldn't remain quiet ... for he cares for ur studies too.
Try writting him a letter or email... let him know abt . I'm sure he would show some form of response . For he cares abt u.... be it as a fren or otherwise.
However like wad Atti says... do keep ur cool should things dun turn out nice... life's full of ups n down...
All the best~~~~ -
well guys I've sent him an email liao..asking abt how he is now..juz a very short one..let's hope I get a reply
I still have no guts to confront him yet, but I'll do it soon enough!! as soon as I pluck up the courage to call him! -
You know what they say ... If you do something ... at least you have a chance of something happening ... rather than doing nothing and hoping something would happen ...
-
Yups... I defn agree with aaron84z....its good tt u did sumthing.Originally posted by aaron84z:You know what they say ... If you do something ... at least you have a chance of something happening ... rather than doing nothing and hoping something would happen ...
Wishing u all the best~~ -
How abt telling him frd cos frd sure tell him wan.
Then he will know abt how u feel.
Then it is a mei mei start to a mei mei realtionship.
Or did u try to hint him.
Try to get very very close to him.
Wish u the very best of luck!!!!!
Heeheehee :p :p :p
------------------
* JuSt AnoTher StiNgrAy iN thE sEa * -
Just wan to wake u up.Originally posted by [sAd_gEr]:immune: if you dun wish to give your advice then shut up and get the hell out of here okay. you have no empathy at all
Should be studying but thinking of guy and ruin your education.
Other want to study may not get a chance.