I love you before I met u
-
why worry so much.....
jin1 zhao1 you3 jiu3 jin1 zhao1 zui4..
ming2 ri4 chou2 lai2 ming2 ri4 chou2
anywthing can happen from noe to then.... -
Rinoa,
i am not taking sides, but everyone seems to be under the impression that you shouldn't entertain this guy's wishes...no one, except a few, have tried to understand the guy's feelings. he obviously cares about you very much, you know
and if anything, i think he is taking his chances. i mean, i've always had this saying in my head 'it's better to try and fail rather than to not trying and never knowing' (refer to the Ai Tragedy!!)
in his mind, he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. he obviously puts love before career, and should be commended for thinking like that. but on the other hand, i suppose it wouldn't be entirely wrong to think of him as rather selfish, because he is pursuing what HE wants, which might not necessarily be what others want. (again, refer to the Ai Tragedy)
so all in all, have faith, because things happen for a reason...sometimes it's a harsh lesson, but it's a lesson that you have to learn sooner or later anyway...
i wish nothing but the best for you Rinoa! -
I think only crazy people will fall in love with a guy that he never meet before. I am not a romantic nuts.
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You use Interner everyday, why not get paid to use it? -
hi Rinoa,
just a quick post ‘coz i’m at work & i’ve spent too much time already at the other threads. you wrote that both of you corresponded by snail mail too, have you exchanged photos? that is, do you know how the other party looks like?
anyway, i don’t think that he is giving up a lot ‘coz he could just apply for leave to go the Canada, sometimes, men say the loveliest things which they don’t mean but the circumstances are such that it would seem that way. i’m not being sarcastic here, just pressed for time, so my post may come across as a little harsh, will write more when i get home tonite & when i have more time.
i do agree with LittleMan, he has put forward some real good reasons & considerations for you to think about, post to you again tonite. -
Rinoa,
As what was said, I think Littleman is right. Bring a friend along to meet him.
The thing that strikes me weird is that he choses to go find you when you are coming back. Weird. It is not necessary for him to sacrifice so much. Is he rushing for something? Is this move necessary? As urself that and ask him that! Is he something going to happen to him? (touch wood)
He is 26, he should be able to think logically. This is not logical! Sorry but I am an engineer....I go by logic!
Just becareful Rinoa. And don't feel bad abt rejecting someone. As a man, he should be able to take it. Maybe he will stone for awhile. But better now than later! -
Hi Rinao:
Although i am new here...just wish to contribute something worth considering about...
Like you, i am also facing the same problem, just that i am in the shoes of the Canadian guy, but not to so much an extent. Sometimes i do feel the sudden urge to drop my things and studies down and fly back singapore just to be with her...but i know i am not telling myself the whole purpose for me to do that, ie fly back singapore. Sometimes love, or attraction which i feel in this case, really clouds our imagination, making us senseless and oblivious to our surroundings and ppl. for me, i am clear-headed enuff to think and remain patient...is it is time for me to meet her i will and i will not regret... so tell yourself are you ready and willing to meet him? If so...go ahead (albeit a little bit of precaution if you feel like it, or none if you trust him), if not...it may be worth considering for a while longer.
But sometimes, you have to understand the guy's feelings too, but not everytime you've gotta conform to his wishes. Dun let yourself be led idf you dont want to...think about it, think for yourself. That's what i think, and feel. -
hi Rinoa,
just to add to my earlier. i was interested in knowing if both of you have any inkling of how each looks like? sometimes, weÂ’re so enamoured with another on-line persona that if the reality doesnÂ’t matches, the disappointment is simply too much to bear & itÂ’s the end of everything. maybe itÂ’s just me, shallow being that iÂ’m, but i do believe itÂ’s very difficult to totally love another without even knowing how they look. the love here i refer to is passionate & romantic love for the opposite sex.
anyway, i believe that youÂ’re in Canada to study & before you fly back to SÂ’pore in june, you should be having exams, right? well, if your exams arenÂ’t even over yet, i think that this is not the time for you to be wasting about whether the guy is foolish in his decision in wanting to come over to Canada to visit you or not.
sometimes people say the loveliest things because the timing & circumstances are right. iÂ’m not here to cast aspersions on your friend, for all you know, his firm may be sending him to Canada for training. but then again, you did mentioned that heÂ’s willing to quit his job just to seek you out. well, maybe it has been his intention to quit all along & telling you that itÂ’s because of you surely canÂ’t hurt his chances, can it?
anyway, i do not understand why heÂ’s flying to meet you just days before youÂ’re due to fly back to SÂ’pore, canÂ’t he wait or is his employment pass expiry due? i donÂ’t know if heÂ’s a SÂ’porean as you mentioned that heÂ’s an Indon-Chinese & a Canadian PR.
Rinoa, youÂ’re a bright gal, donÂ’t let passions cloud your judgment, if you still have exams going on, concentrate on doing what youÂ’re supposed to be doing, an overseas education doesnÂ’t come cheap, so donÂ’t disappoint yourself & your family by messing up your final (i presume) year.
sure, the passion of another for you when he doesnÂ’t even know how you look is totally empowering & the feeling is pure bliss, but before we delude ourselves, surely the other party would already formed an idea how you hopefully should look like? should you not turned out to be his ideal, his hopes will be dashed, well who cares? but what happens if heÂ’s everything you wanted & wished for but youÂ’re not what he wanted or wished for, could you then handle his rejection?
six months into your relationship, ahh, that is but still the honeymoon stage, a lot of things are still being viewed through rose-tinted glasses.
well, all i want to say is that study hard & if he screws up his career just on impulse to meet you in Canada when he can jolly well wait a couple weeks more when you can meet in sunny SÂ’pore, thatÂ’s his choice, you donÂ’t have to put it on your conscience. afterall, youÂ’ve tried your very best to dissuade him, havenÂ’t?
remember, study first, be concerned about him later for if this doesnÂ’t work out between the 2 of you & because of your poor performance in your final year, your degree is a 3rd class honours instead of a 1st class honours, which is going to hurt you more? i hope i have been of some help.
don't know why but it really pisses me off to see people 'disturbing' the peace of mind of another when they're having important exams or such. i seriously think that any discussions - be it make-up or break-up or first-time meetings after months in cyberspace - is best done after the exams. -
Maybe it's just fate?
-
Colette
Thanks for your long reply...answers to your questions.
1.He has seen my pic before but he has already promised to come even before he has seen my pic. I have not seen his pic.
2.I too wished to think that he is doing everything in the convenience of himself but it seems not cos my sister knows him personally
3.The reason why I trust what he says because, he has never ever broken a promise adhered to me e.g: My sis once got molested in the bus and she was so upset and she does not even dare to step out of the house...I was so devestated that time and here he came and offered to bring my sis home if she goes home late..(He does not have a car as his was driven by his cousin) and he did that for 2 months until his dad was taken ill and passed away not long ago.
4. My sis there for have met him and i have not and according to my sis...He has been very nice and caring..and at least he has fulfilled his promise to me. And this is only one of the things he has done to keep me from worrying about things in SG as he hopes that I won't screw up in my studies.
5.I am only a first year student and everything is going fine...I dun usually mixed work with studies and currently I am having a good standing for my grades...(scoring an 80% above for overall)...
6. I am not suspicious of his kindness since I have done so called sufficient hypothesis to test out a guy how sincere he is and as such...but I just dun want him to give up everything becos of me...
7. He told me a lot of times that the only time he can feel happiness is when he sees me online and feel my presence...so he told me even I was only allowed to see him even for only a day he will be happy too...
8.He is not being logical and I know...I just dun understand how can such a smart guy like him do such a thing as in to give up whatever he has including the gal whom has helped him during his critical crisis.
9.From the very beginning when i first knew him, he has already told me his intentions to either stay in Sg or go to Canada but not Vancouver since he has no frens there...It is Toronto where there are more business opportunities and frens as well as Seattle.
10. It is very hard to actually understand what is he thinking, but I do know for some ppl happiness is something felt within which nothing else can replace of cos for radical ppl like me it seems really illogical and irrational
To all who ask me to give it a shot, thanks a lot but for a man to give up almost everything for someone he has never met..I think it is a tad too much for me to bear...but in the meantime, I will see what I can do...
------------------
Writing is a weapon that is more powerful than a man's fist. -
hi Rinoa,
sorry but it's really late & i've been keeping too many late nights. long long day ahead tomorrow, well actually today, so will try to answer you later.
[prodigal, this is not a dig at you] Rinoa, i'm under the impression that you're on good terms with prodigal, it's strange but i haven't seen his reply here. anyway, maybe if you have his email, you could ask him, he seems to think on the same wave-length as this guy friend of yours, i may be wrong 'coz my brain is kind of fuzzy now. oh prodigal, if you're reading this now, perhaps you could offer your opinions?
well, it's great to know that you're doing well in your studies & that you're clear headed enough, keep it up. just work on this friend of yours, persuade him to meet you in S'pore instead, afterall what a difference of a couple of weeks? -
Dear Colette,
The reading of this post has led me to the wish that I want to strangle you. First of all, you are right that I am on good terms with Rinoa and I know about what is going on. I have offered my advice to her thru our chats, and I don't see the need to publicise them here.
Secondly, your assumption that I would share the same frequency with that moron is preposterous. First of all, I don't believe in virtual relationships, and I would not want to venture into something like that. I want something which is real and where it is close to me. I would rather try to find someone real than to fantasize this woman who might be what I am looking for, because we are talking behind the screens of our computer, and we cannot tell how we are in real life...
I have said enough.... -
Hmm!
Do you know me?
Like the topic... I knew you before I met you. Hahaha..that was in the good old chatroom days. You even encouraged me to follows some of your threads. Hate to disappoint you..I just got myself registered.
Whether you know me or remember me..well...it is either "Absence makes the heart grew fonders" or "Out of sight, out of Mind"..I guess U chose the latter...Bye. -
dear rinoa
i don't think there's enuf info here to make any firm conclusions abt the guy. so what i offer will be based on what little you have said. but littleman has said some big things that you should consider. you seem to have made up your mind abt what to do. but hopefully this gives you a little more to think abt.
firstly you said that you want to know what is going thru his head. i don't know what kind of person he is but different ppl value different things differently. it seems that for you, u wouldn't give up your job and so on for someone else u haven't met. and so u measure "sacrifice" according to what is impt to you. but it may be no big deal for him. esp if he is well to do. u must understand that if you are well provided for, life takes on a different meaning. there's always a safety net for you to do silly things. cos u know u r provided for for life.
but did he intend to leave his job anyway? if it's either here or canada, i think it was just a matter of time b4 he left. again, no big deal. if he is all out to impress you, then doing the right things will obviously help. he will tell you he prefers you to some girl he knows in real life. he will say he is willing to leave his job. he will tell you u make him happy. and what better way to impress you than to impress your sister? you may be good at figuring out a person's personality. but maybe he's better at counter-figuring you out himself.
but this makes him look too scheming and one-dimensional. some of the elements i mentioned may be there in him. others may not. while he has always intended to see you, i wonder if his father's death has made him feel lonelier and maybe somewhat bolder. he is really free to do what he wants now. he is his own person more than ever. and so he is thinking of how to make a life for himself. "leave s'pore behind", he may be thinking. there's nothing there for me now. maybe i'll go to canada. i'm a PR there. i know ppl there. and now i've met a wonderful girl there too (erm....that would be you.) so it's not surprising he wants to go see you. firstly, it is no big sacrifice cos he has always wanted to go to canada. he only needed a reason why. now he has two reasons - nothing to look forward to at home and you. secondly, it is no big risk. he still has the finances to support himself. thirdly, he wants to start a new life and maybe start it with you.
if all this is true, then contrary to what he says abt not expecting anything, i think you are an impt part of his "brand new life". but you didn't say if he is going there and then flying back to s'pore with you again. if he is meeting u days b4 your return to s'pore and then when u do return to s'pore he intends to stay in cananda and look for a job then i think that's fine.
if he intends to fly to canada and come back with you and then fly to canada again when u return for your studies then i think there may be some signs of dependency and possessiveness in him (plus of course it means he has too much money. he is welcome to give some to me if he doesn't know what to do with it). that he may be emotionally dependent and possessive is not even the bad news yet. i think he wants to be more than frens. what better way is there to know someone than to be by their side all the time and to fly home and back to canada with them? there is constant contact. whereas if he were to fly to canada and stay there while you come back, the contact is broken and it would be more difficult to start off again once you return for your studies. but if he's with you all the time (canada-s'pore-canada again) then it'll be more natural for you guys to continue seeing each other after u resume your studies. but if he doesn't fancy you then after he returns to s'pore with you, he can make some excuse and say he's decided to stay in s'pore a while. then you fly back to canada alone.
there's prob a whole host of things going thru his head. he no doubt has things he is not telling you and i suspect he wants you to be an impt part of his life. but to be touched by all you think he's done (or going to do), i don't think you should be. firstly, it's no big sacrifice. secondly, he's doing it for himself. not for you. you just think it's because of you. i think he's thinking of his needs before yours. all this is just my gut feeling. u of course know him better. so it's your call.
my advice: to play it cool and see how things work out. ask if he's coming back to s'pore with u too. ask why not just wait for u to return. u prob feel bad asking him not to come see you after the loss of his dad. but believe me, that shouldn't be what is holding you back. you have a right to say no too. after meeting up, if you like him and he likes you then good for you. ask him to go to canada. if you like him and he doesn't like you then so sad. post here again and we'll comfort you (tho you prob reject ppl more than u get rejected). if you don't like him and he doesn't fancy u that way then no problems. just stay frens if u want. if u dun like him and he likes you then u have to do what u hate to do. whatever it is, if that happens u can't really control things. so it's not your fault. if he can't accept being rejected then it's not your fault either. i know it is terrible having to lose a friend. but as the baz lerhmann song goes: "understand that frens are meant to come and go, but for a precious few you should hold on to".
wishing you all the best.
ray -
Tommy
Ohh My guess is right...you know I find ur answers innovative...and connie as well...esp in the other thread..U crack me so much...you can be a good cyber flirt and please dun come and tap my heart...
Ray
I think u sorta hit the right nail...and no he is not coming with me to SG cos he is going to settle his house and car....and job too...so while I am in Sg..he is going to settle or that...and I might be going to NY to watch some musicals and visit some museams too..(and he might tag along too)
Maybe u are right...so I should not feel bad afterall..if only when he comes..he will wise up and go back to SG cos really interms of career..Sg is a better place for him...
Thanks for ur advice which I think it really helps...Guess maybe that is how a guy thinks...somehow...
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Writing is a weapon that is more powerful than a man's fist.
[This message has been edited by Rinoa Heartilly (edited 22 March 2000).] -
>> hi Rinoa,
i agree with rayÂ’s thoughts & i couldnÂ’t say it better, thus, i really wish you all the best. i hope you can keep us posted on this.
>>dear prodigal,
hey! youÂ’ve got a violent streak. okay, okay, so i got it wrong again, thereÂ’s no need for you to resort to strangling me, surely you can find a more constructive use for my lovely neck than to snap it? and i suppose you expect an apology again?
anyway, i don’t think it was very nice of you to refer to Rinoa’s potential love as a moron. pls bear in mind that my brain was fuzzy early this morning due to all the late nites i’ve been keeping being addicted to this forum. maybe i wasn’t clear in my post, i didn’t mean that you think exactly the same on every issue as Rinoa’s guy, just the love relationship aspect. i read somewhere where you wrote that you’re willing to give the gal of your dreams your everything or something to that effect & the fact that you yearn for love more than most or maybe i should say you’re not afraid to admit that you want love & that planted the idea that maybe you could offer insights as to why a guy would be willing to give up everything for love. here’s my “sorry” if i offended you in any way and yes i know that it is not necessary for us to post our entire lives in this forum, i was just curious as to why you didn’t post anything here since i gathered that Rinoa & you are pretty good friends, surely that’s not a crime? -
Hi, Colette,
The "strangling" part is a metaphorical representation of my emotions when I read the post, as pointed by Rinoa over the chat yesterday. She was also wondering why I felt so offended. I did not know but I find it both ridiculous and preposterous. I was really thinking what has gotten into you to make you think of that parallel. For once, I don't need an apology from you on that even though I was offended since it was a trivial matter. Anyway, since you apologize, apologies accepted...
Let me clearly define what I meant. U see, I am searching for someone who is real in my life, maybe someone who is now in the same uni as I do, and I can see, hear and feel her. If the person is a prospective candidate, I would consider whether to try to go further. If both of us feel mutual, then we can go further, and once the relationship transits from friendship to courtship (love), I would devote my heart and soul in loving her, do as much as I could as a bf. I was thinking of that for a while recently, perhaps due to an appearance of prospective candidate. Then I realize that it is not possible, because of circumstances which do not allow me to have any possibility of success in going with this person, i.e. I get rejected if I take action. So, I walked out of the race, without her knowledge that I held any feelings and go back to where I start from with other things first like my work and other stuff which I am into for the time being... Somehow, this incident has evolved me after a good talk with a friend, and it appears that my prodigal lifestyle (which also means that I am able to accept something which has been giving me guilt and remorse) is coming to an end very soon....
I can be a bosom friend to someone in cyberspace, but not until I meet the person in real life, I would really know that she is a prospective candidate. The guy whom Rinoa is talking about may not be a moron if he turns out to the right one, but if he doesn't, then my condolences to him, but I would bear no sympathy to him, because we should be clear about our real life and our cyber life in retrospect.
Hence rests my case.... -
hi prodigal,
you donÂ’t know why you felt offended huh? maybe itÂ’s because iÂ’m finally getting to you?
thereÂ’re is nothing more frustrating than to be misunderstood by someone you like, eh?
you found a gal whom you think has the potential to possess all that youÂ’re searching for & yet you gave her up? er ... hmm, whatÂ’s WRONG with you?!!
hehehe ... i just wanted to write that line.
of course youÂ’re in a better position to know if you will succeed or not but if you didnÂ’t even try, how could you be sure that youÂ’ll be rejected? sometimes, things are not what they appear to be. but iÂ’m glad that for a while, you managed to find someone to tempt your heart. well, you may feel noble about withdrawing from the race, but the lady in question wouldnÂ’t even know it, so what difference does it make? but then, at least thereÂ’s a silver lining in this sorry episode ...
oh you can be a bosom friend to someone in cyberspace huh, will you be mine then? say yes please
true, i think itÂ’s utter folly to fall for a complete stranger over the net but sometimes, itÂ’s also quite easy to be beguiled by the image projected by the cyberfriend, especially if one is easily seduced by words & thereÂ’re many here who have a certain way with the written word ... and again iÂ’ve to agree with you that until thereÂ’s contact in the real physical world, the ideal cyber galfriend or boyfriend may or may not turn into the perfect one, the one whom you want for life.
think of me & be happy!
colette -
Dear colette,
Well, you have misunderstood me several times, and it is no more frustrating than this one, which I am afraid. And you seem to infer that I am frustrated because I have some liking for you (read your post, because you might make a typo). Like I said before, there is a distinct difference in the cyber and real world. I prefer to be in a real world...
Well, finding someone to possess such qualities is easy, but whether she is interested is another question. Of course the next thing have to consider is age. What she want may not coincide with mine at this point of time. There is nothing wrong with me since circumstances don't make sense now, and I am just being sensible about it. If I am 21-22, I would do it. But when I am 25, when I am already that old, I should be more sensible to know what should be done. It may be painful, but at least I know what I am doing. For a day, I am glad that I know what I am doing, being real and not cyber..
As for the pain of rejection, what is the point of saying it to her, if you know that it would not work and things might get worse. Why not take a step back and be clear about the road ahead?
As for being your bosom friend thru cyberspace, I would say yes if I get to know you better thru email (well, I keep my identity secret). If you turn out to the female version of the guy mentioned in Rinoa's thread (this is my turn to "suan" you back), my reply is very straightforward : No. I would turn that person down if I was in Rinoa's shoes. The last line is of course a joke or sarcasm from me but I am clear about being real and cyber.. -
Please dun come and tap your heart?
Hmmm...this is a million dollars question. Got to think carefully before answering. My answer is "I would if I could". You see...you are the diety in my heart. The angel of my soul. You existed for me in my dream.
I rather hold on to the dream than becoming a zombie of your rejection. Hahaha....mushy stuff rite?
Now that I had caught your attention....I'm dreaming on.
*You're a Princess..chains around you. I'm a hero who have found you.* -
Tommy...
U can join the singles thread where I am also looking for 'suitable' candidates...maybe u might stand a chance...?
*brushing up my flirting skills at the same time*
Colette
Thanks for ur time and effort in this 'case'...and please do not dipute with Proddy becos of me...you are both very nice ppl...even in real life..(trusting my psyc inate analysing ability)...
As much one can relate him or herself through writings...it is only one part of the person u see here...and the major understanding of the person is when u spend ample time with him/her.
Proddy
Enjoy your hols and dun brood too much about me and what has been said here...You got a destiny to fulfil remember...It is time for a revival and get out of your hermit shell and shake the world!All the best!
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Writing is a weapon that is more powerful than a man's fist. -
>> hi Rinoa,
youÂ’re welcome & iÂ’m not falling out with proddy, weÂ’re just having a friendly exchange of ideas, arenÂ’t we proddy dear?
>> dear prodigal,
weÂ’re just getting to know each other, of course thereÂ’s bound to be misunderstandings between us. the only important thing is to the clear the air and get the misunderstandings out of the way. aiyah, youÂ’re galfriendless at the moment, isnÂ’t is good that iÂ’m here to frustrate you? if not, wouldnÂ’t your life be more bland? i didnÂ’t infer that you are frustrated become you have some liking for me & no proddy, itÂ’s not a typo, iÂ’m saying that youÂ’re frustrated because you like me! hehehe
duh! of course i know there’s a difference between the cyber & real world & of course i would prefer the real world, but the thing is that you’re in UK & i’m stuck in sunny tropical S’pore, so i guess the cyber world is about as real as it gets ‘coz it’s the cheaper world of the two or unless i strike the Toto numbers you gave me a couple of days ago! if i did, i could fly to UK to visit you, thank you & stalk you! haha ... giving you the creeps now, huh?
please lah! can you stop saying that 25 is old Â’coz iÂ’m older than 25. sheesh! 25 is never old for a guy! pleeeassse!
what i like about you is your earnest desire to get hitch, true i may poke fun at it from time to time but itÂ’s refreshing to see a guy so keen on love & marriage. as for me, i neither yearn for love nor marriage except between december to february yearly, if it happens it happens, if it doesnÂ’t, life goes on. true i get lonely sometimes but i guess it helps that iÂ’ve been a loner most of my life Â’coz i can be incredibly selfish & doing stuff alone - i donÂ’t have to be considerate of other peopleÂ’s interests. i guess as i grow older, i rather be alone than to be in the company of people whom i no longer care for or when our life expectations differs. i used to have a lot of friends but as i grow older, marriage, work & responsibilities do tend to cause people to drift apart, what iÂ’m happy to know is that i have a handful of friends who will stick with me through thick & thin (i hope).
well, itÂ’s your call, if you think that youÂ’re definitely going to be rejected, who am i to tell you otherwise?
if we email each other & you get to keep your identity secret, what is there left for us? i mean, when you say you want to keep your identity secret, do you mean that youÂ’ll cultivate a cyber personality just for me? or that you just want to keep your real name secret, your field of study & university secret but will still let the real you shine through in the emails? iÂ’m so tempted to add one more line here, but i guess itÂ’ll keep.
iÂ’m not ashamed to say i like you, well thatÂ’s why i exchange posts with you, if i donÂ’t like someone why would i bother to sacrifice my leisure & beauty time typing away into an inanimate screen & killing several millions brain cells in the process? iÂ’ve got better things to do you know
.
as for me falling for you online, *tsk tsk* proddy proddy proddy, havenÂ’t you been paying attention to my posts? i donÂ’t believe that i can fall in love with someone iÂ’ve yet to see. what happens if the other party is ugly as sin? falling in love involves much more than words on screen (paper) although i admit that one may feel that theyÂ’ve found a kindred spirit through reading their posts but falling in love via cyberspace without seeing the guyÂ’s face? i wish it was that easy for me. iÂ’m not looking for love in cyberland, actually i wasnÂ’t even looking for friends, but after 6 weeks here, i do feel that some attachment of friendship for some of the forumites here. so yes siree! i do go for looks, at least the kind of looks that attracts me - so nobody flame me, okay. -
Rinoa:
Life's about risk taking, you calculate your risks, and you make your decision whether to gamble or not.
Your friend has decided to gamble, and I believe things have gone too far for him to stop now. It will be a deep regret for him if he doesn't meet you. Perhaps he isn't sure you're the right one(hence, he doesn't expect anything?), but even if you're not the right one for him, he wants to see it with his own eyes.(Seeing is believing? Maybe for him) It's perhaps important for him to meet you 'cos only after meeting you can he really select the path he wanys to take. Your fears of hurting him are not unfounded. But I guess you don't have a choice of turning back now(on whether to meet him or not), 'cos you can imagine how much you can hurt his feelings by avoiding to meet him.(Of which you're trying to avoid, 'cos you feel something for him, even if it's at friendship level) I believe you wanted to give him a chance, else you wouldn't have permitted to let things advanced this far. What matters now is whether will there be sparks when you two meet; if yes, all the best, if no, one must understand to let go, letting go 'cos he loved you. It will hurt, but if he indeed loved you, he wouldn't regret.
prodigal:
You're someone of a cautious nature, conservative in risk taking, and thoughtful of others' feelings. Perhaps it's your thoughtfulness, hence resulting in being a little gamble-shy. Not hurting others is what you hoped, 'cos if you did so, you'll feel hurt too. Having been through 25 years of life has enriched you with many different experiences, and has shaped your personality today. You do think deep, and perhaps because you really see far, and the future isn't really that rosy as what we hoped to be, and it tends to make you melancholic. Your personality coincidences with your stand on cyber relationships(whether on friendship or bgr).
Friendship is important to you, hence you're cautious and yet sincere in doing so, and I guess nothing hurts you more than the other party taking your feelings for a ride. The cyberworld is virtual, risk is even greater than the real world(which is risky enough).
"well, I keep my identity secret" - I think this line says it all.
Yet, despite all your cautions against the cyberworld, you've posted more than 500 replies here. (Have you fallen for the forum? )
I believe that you did not participate in the forum at first to make friends, but that's the initial. What has kept you here? I'm sure you know the reason.
Colette:
Hope I've helped you in your case.
Cyberspace might not the best place to build a friendship, but it can be a way to make new friends. How good a friendship can develop after meeting on the net, we shall leave it to fate.
To Rinoa, prodigal and Colette, good luck! -
Ocean
Hmm if i am not wrong I remember talking to Gading just 2 weeks ago or less online. He is fine just that he is extremely busy...As for Proddy, he has been 'promoting' him in front of me saying that he is better than one of my prospectives but I dun think I will ever stand a chance since we might never meet *sigh*
Nevertheless, Fading is keeping up with the posts in the forum so he knows exactly what is going on. After the exams, he might have more time
As for my problem, I have decided to let it rest until h comes...and hey ...actually u are quite a mysterious person too just that I have the privillege of having Proddy to trust me in revealing his true identity. I believe there is a certain trust factor in us to see who might be more reliable to reveal our truest self.
And welcome back to the forums, and also take the time to reply to my thread..
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Writing is a weapon that is more powerful than a man's fist. -
Rinoa:
Well, opportunities are created by yourselves, if you and prodigal really want to meet each other, there is always ample opportunities. Just whether both of you want to grab it only. (But I believe that's not really high up in your priority now. Wait for June, and we'll see. )
Well, I guess fadingstar has fallen for this forum too, considering the fact that he's still following it. (I didn't know that)
Guess I'll remain the ocean that I always was. Deep and mysterious.
Seems that you're one with the greatest charisma in this forum, with both prodigal and fadingstar revealing their identity to you.
Anyway, I see a complicated "love-triangle" in this forum, with so many different people involved, and I think my old buddies like pacman and fadingstar not really spared from it. (And I don't need to say who are those who are deep into it already.
)
Looks like I'm playing the onlooker again, which has happened to me so many times in real life.
(How apt I'm the ocean here)
Anyway, I see that you've removed your email address, while sparkle has placed hers. (fadingstar, are you reading this? )
Trust is hard to earn, and when it's earned, it's hard to lost. The bond has been strengthened, and it will take even more effort to break it. But when trust is lost, you can never regain the same level of trust; there will be scars, and no matter how you try to put the pieces back again, it will never be the same again. Learning to treasure, perhaps that's what we're learning everyday, yet seemingly unable to prefect.
[This message has been edited by ocean (edited 24 March 2000).] -
Ocean...
Charasmatic? *laffs*...and hey once I am back from hols, I am not going to be mysterious anymore...
And there have been a change of plans...I will be back end of next month to Sg and trash things out with him..and hope he realise his folly...
Frankly, me and Fading is 'indirectly' related...and we can't believe until we talk to each other and realise that. Not that we are blood related...but he is a vrey nice guy to talk to indeed...I might meet him up when I go to SG for hols...
Hey, you know being a onlooker, u see most of the game...and can be more rationale about it...I know cos it went the thing happens to me...I was lost in the game...but as an outlooker I perfect knew where to place my checkers....oh well...
Anyhow, I am glad u are back * flashing megawatt smile*...I think I am one of the eldest here....not by age though..(Argghh I am turning 22!)....anyway...do enjoy your stay here...
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Writing is a weapon that is more powerful than a man's fist.