[b]Advice......[/b]
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there is something you can do..just be happy
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frankly, you can't change or control her behavior, no matter how much anger you are holding on right now. let go of your resentment. redirect your hurt & anger to areas which can give you happiness and satisfaction.
forgiving someone takes time. abandon what has previously happened. one who forgives will gain more experience than the one being forgiven.
move on with your life, the healthy and positive way. ptw, you've got the ability to do it. -
Originally posted by icepole:forgiving someone takes time. abandon what has previously happened. one who forgives will gain more experience than the one being forgiven.
move on with your life, the healthy and positive way. ptw, you've got the ability to do it.
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She is engaging with her new bf soon. I heard from my friends, hurt me more when I think of the sweet and tough days that I and her have been through. I keep blaming myself for pressuring her to look for job, yet I just cant find enough time to spend with her. I wouldnt end up in this state if I didnt engage in studies and furthermore, I really need a job. My ulimate goal with her is to settle her problem and build up a family with her. I lost a batle to a guy who didnt go through the trouble I have gone through with her. He got my returns in the end. I lost a battle to a guy who can win over her heart just so easily. I really want to move on but yet on one hand, I really want to win her back. I really dont want to see her being hurt by such a sudden sparkle which may diminished fast.
I really dont want to rake up the past but its so difficult not to. I really hope I can accept the girl I am going out with but my heart tells me not to. I can concentrate on my work cos its my responsibility and duty to do so but accepting another girl seems so impossible.
tan_william, icepole, project D and all who have read this thread, if I am not strong enough, I wouldnt be posting this thread.
I felt betrayed, abandon, stabbed, make use of. I have written in my last email to her that I have forgiven her but in reality, what can I do, revenge? Swallow all the misery, sadness, lonliness, hurt and pain to myself. Sometimes I tell myself, why must I suffer all these misery while she is happy spending time with her new bf? An apology from her can write off all my misery and suffering? Its not like writting off a debt. I have feelings too but why cant she understand how tough I have to go through? -
Everything happened for a reason..it might be a good thing for you that she hurt you badly enough..its easier for you to let her go..you wouldn't stay around hoping for a chance for them to breakup..and if she didn't leave you..you also wouldn't have this girl waiting for you..this is life..things are not always be in your control..the only thing we can control is our mood..we can be happy if we let ourself be..
Spend more time on the things that deserve your attentions more..work is important and a good way to keep your mind off her..but its better to spend more time on your family and friends..people that you might have neglected unknowingly..life is short..be happy and live meaningfully k??
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a r'ship takes 2 people to make it work. both parties have to want each other. in your instances, there's no more 2 of you. all connection and chemistry have ended. let go. be happy for her. respect her decision.
move beyond your sorrow, grief and anger. do not let adversity knock you down. all of us have been wounded before, who doesn't? what's important is to move on to your next chapter of life. -
ptw.
wat icepole and tan_willian said SO MUCH to u r quite true !!!
The fact :
1)she is cute but unfaithful,lied,betrayed, do not care about your feeling, look for present happiness(not for future),changed of heart, dont appreciate u and what u have done for she.
2)another gal friend who is not as cute, willing to wait for u, caring for u, understanding, maybe better for u , appreciate u, feel happy and sad for u and with u
In your mind & heart (emotion)
felt betrayed, angry, hurt, pain, put effort, heart,time, $$ wasted on her
but.....
u still miss her, miss happy memories with her, want to know how she's doing, cannot forget her, cannot let go of the past, cannot accept the
well, that's human...... u just bring the facts and personnal emotion together, compare which is the best/wise choice to choose. u choose your path to walk man..!!!
although i also been through the same boat as u , my point of view is quite difference from others, i will not forget of all the happy memories my ex and i had together, because i know if i forget them all, i will have nothing. i know there will be no one going into my life again... that why i 'zhen xi' the happy memories, at least i have some happiness memories in rest of my life -
My 1st question for you would be, after spending so much time and effort on her... Do you really love her..? Or do you love yourself more...?Originally posted by ptw:She is engaging with her new bf soon. I heard from my friends, hurt me more when I think of the sweet and tough days that I and her have been through. I keep blaming myself for pressuring her to look for job, yet I just cant find enough time to spend with her. I wouldnt end up in this state if I didnt engage in studies and furthermore, I really need a job. My ulimate goal with her is to settle her problem and build up a family with her. I lost a batle to a guy who didnt go through the trouble I have gone through with her. He got my returns in the end. I lost a battle to a guy who can win over her heart just so easily. I really want to move on but yet on one hand, I really want to win her back. I really dont want to see her being hurt by such a sudden sparkle which may diminished fast.
I really dont want to rake up the past but its so difficult not to. I really hope I can accept the girl I am going out with but my heart tells me not to. I can concentrate on my work cos its my responsibility and duty to do so but accepting another girl seems so impossible.
tan_william, icepole, project D and all who have read this thread, if I am not strong enough, I wouldnt be posting this thread.
I felt betrayed, abandon, stabbed, make use of. I have written in my last email to her that I have forgiven her but in reality, what can I do, revenge? Swallow all the misery, sadness, lonliness, hurt and pain to myself. Sometimes I tell myself, why must I suffer all these misery while she is happy spending time with her new bf? An apology from her can write off all my misery and suffering? Its not like writting off a debt. I have feelings too but why cant she understand how tough I have to go through?
If you really love her and has genuine concern for her, you should just be happy for her or at least be kinda enough to really wish her all the best and let her go for now....
Alternatively. I would like to tell you that there's little much you can add to your 'story' for now. Little much of much good to either party... May there used to be betrayal, wasted efforts and abandon.. You realise that you're not totally clear of faults too... Accept it. At this point if you still don't wanna just admit that your boat's sinking, you'll just sink along with it...
Be happy now that she's happy with her current bf and search for your own happiness at the same time... You can just stand down there and wait. Chances are 'happiness' won't just come to you...
There's no turning back for now.. Time to move on or stay to await your own 'funeral'..... -
Thanks tan_william, icepole, Project_D and Devil_1976, I cant do anything for now.
I will learn how to move on. Really hope to get over it soon. -
ptw..dun think so much..you will be fine after awhile..time will help you ease the pain..gd luck and jia you!!!
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Thanks tan_william.
Maybe I am finding reasons to make me move on, but my reasons are that I have done nothing seriously wrong, I love her, I dote on her and this is how she treats me. Anyway, will recover one day. -
Doesn't matter now... Find other meaningful things in your life...Originally posted by ptw:Thanks tan_william.
Maybe I am finding reasons to make me move on, but my reasons are that I have done nothing seriously wrong, I love her, I dote on her and this is how she treats me. Anyway, will recover one day. -
ptw,
u feeling better now i guess as u did not post anymore... GOOD!! keep your mind and heart accuiped with more meaningful things are GOOD !!!!
the clock is ticking,
your heart is healing,
the world is spining,
your another summer is coming !!! -
Hi everyone,
I have been to JB with my friend recently for shopping spree which I have always been with my ex. I have pass by alot of shops , photo booth where I and my ex used to take trading cards photos. I realised something, even I and her have broke up, everythings seems to be running or moving as usual or make it this way, the earth is still moving. My heart hurts so much that it seems to stop somehow. Why? I really dont know. Maybe she has drifted further apart from me since I last receive her very last email before every communication ends.
To Devil 1976, tan_william, icepole, parn, and of course not forgetting Project_D, I have not taken your advices for granted, I have learnt alot from this traumatic nightmare for how much I did for her, if she can so easily do such things for me, this is how she takes me for and also how lightly she takes a relationship. I learned that life is really short. Even if I still live in the past, the earth will still keep moving, she is still enjoying, whats the use of bringing out the past which she has taken it for granted? Though its hard to swallow, I have somehow managed to do it gradually. Maybe I am soft or maybe I am forgetful, she is moving away from me day by day. I wish that my next relationship last and hopes that things turn out well and will not ends up in such a drastic situation.
In the meanwhile, I will find something which I have been wanted to do since when I am single back then especially when I have a stable job and a stable income now.
I will not forget you guys and gals for giving me such great advices and also showing your patience for I have been nagging repeatedly. Like what my friends told me, time will show to her that I am a better man, trustable and reliable man is better than someone who can bring joy to her cos I have shown her that I can go through hardship with her.
I will still make myself present in sgforum. Maybe, if anyone in future who met with such similar situation, I may be able to provide a helping hand. Wish me luck in my future. Thanks to all. -
Looks like you have straigthen your thoughts..Good luck to you and JIA YOU!!
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The door of happiness will open when you purse what you want & never give up easily.
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Thanks for your last note.Originally posted by ptw:Hi everyone,
I have been to JB with my friend recently for shopping spree which I have always been with my ex. I have pass by alot of shops , photo booth where I and my ex used to take trading cards photos. I realised something, even I and her have broke up, everythings seems to be running or moving as usual or make it this way, the earth is still moving. My heart hurts so much that it seems to stop somehow. Why? I really dont know. Maybe she has drifted further apart from me since I last receive her very last email before every communication ends.
To Devil 1976, tan_william, icepole, parn, and of course not forgetting Project_D, I have not taken your advices for granted, I have learnt alot from this traumatic nightmare for how much I did for her, if she can so easily do such things for me, this is how she takes me for and also how lightly she takes a relationship. I learned that life is really short. Even if I still live in the past, the earth will still keep moving, she is still enjoying, whats the use of bringing out the past which she has taken it for granted? Though its hard to swallow, I have somehow managed to do it gradually. Maybe I am soft or maybe I am forgetful, she is moving away from me day by day. I wish that my next relationship last and hopes that things turn out well and will not ends up in such a drastic situation.
In the meanwhile, I will find something which I have been wanted to do since when I am single back then especially when I have a stable job and a stable income now.
I will not forget you guys and gals for giving me such great advices and also showing your patience for I have been nagging repeatedly. Like what my friends told me, time will show to her that I am a better man, trustable and reliable man is better than someone who can bring joy to her cos I have shown her that I can go through hardship with her.
I will still make myself present in sgforum. Maybe, if anyone in future who met with such similar situation, I may be able to provide a helping hand. Wish me luck in my future. Thanks to all.
3 things I would like to bring out for now... And hope there after you'll successfully set sail for your life...
1. After whatever she've done to you. She's not worth it. Be glad that she's gone. In fact a blissing in disguise.
2. You've not totally lost. You've got experience to learn from. And not forgetting that you were ONCE HAPPY with her before. Though at present, it shouldn't matter anymore. Take it as you're just paying for all that. Like people often say.. "Nothing's for free in life."
3. Understand that there'll always be failures in life. Even after you've gotten over this one, there would be a chance that the next one might hurt you equally or even more. "Don't be afraid. Don't give up."
Wish you luck in your future endeavours. -
Devil, don't be so pessimistic.... like what icepole said, the door of happiness is always open for you.... 3 cheers for those out of love!!! :-)
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eh~ v gal, it's ptw, not devil..
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Haha... i know... but Devil is being so discouraging when he mentioned that the next time might be more hurting ...Originally posted by Devil1976:3. Understand that there'll always be failures in life. Even after you've gotten over this one, there would be a chance that the next one might hurt you equally or even more. "Don't be afraid. Don't give up."
Ptw, like icepole mentioned the door of happiness is open... next one will be better!!! :-) -
Originally posted by v gal:Devil, don't be so pessimistic.... like what icepole said, the door of happiness is always open for you.... 3 cheers for those out of love!!! :-)
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For better... Or worse... It's always better to be mentally prepared and have a wider range of acceptance for how things might turn out to be.... It don't necessarily have to be a negative form of thinking...?Originally posted by v gal:Haha... i know... but Devil is being so discouraging when he mentioned that the next time might be more hurting ...
Ptw, like icepole mentioned the door of happiness is open... next one will be better!!! :-) -
Hi everyone, I know this is a learning experience, I will not accept another girl as yet, not so soon, only when I have feelings for her and understand her well before I will go after her. I dont want to go after a girl which I dont love her as much as when I go after my ex. Though different feeling but I want to make sure that the feeling is there before I make the next move.
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Its good that you know what you need now..whatever you decided,remember that the people here will give you our support..good luck
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anytime, ptw...
hope u posting good new next time on the forum.... good luck..........be confident with yourself... u have changed to better man after going through past R/S.... put the lesson learnt to good use....