There is someone else...
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1 and a half year ago, i got to know my current girl
friend. She was really good to me then and always
give and take. However, as time goes pass, and as
treat her better, her temper seems to become worse
and her attitute towards me seem to have changed.
In this one and a half year, i tink we have breaked for
more than 100 times. But each break did not last for
more than one day. I'm really tired of this . She always
threatens to cut her wrist (and she really does). Although
i really love her alot but i know i cant be with her as i dont
wish to get married and quarrel almost every day and
divorce and marry and divorce. Its very tiring.
Recently, I got to know a girl whom i was together 4 years
ago. She treats me very good and i know she'll wait for me.
When i'm upset and quarrels with my current girlfriend, she
will console me and ask me not to be upset. I know that she
will be good to me.
I dont dare to break with her because i'm afraid that she
will do something silly. She always crys and shouts at me.
Its just like a small kid. She always complains to the mother
about me. Although the mother dosen't really scolds me. But
I, as a guy, would not like that to happen as well .
Can you guys really advice me what i should do please?
I'm really confused.
Regards,
Jon
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Hi, i was in the same situation as you're now in before....except abt the 4years girl...Originally posted by confusedjmy:1 and a half year ago, i got to know my current girl
friend. She was really good to me then and always
give and take. However, as time goes pass, and as
treat her better, her temper seems to become worse
and her attitute towards me seem to have changed.
In this one and a half year, i tink we have breaked for
more than 100 times. But each break did not last for
more than one day. I'm really tired of this . She always
threatens to cut her wrist (and she really does). Although
i really love her alot but i know i cant be with her as i dont
wish to get married and quarrel almost every day and
divorce and marry and divorce. Its very tiring.
Recently, I got to know a girl whom i was together 4 years
ago. She treats me very good and i know she'll wait for me.
When i'm upset and quarrels with my current girlfriend, she
will console me and ask me not to be upset. I know that she
will be good to me.
I dont dare to break with her because i'm afraid that she
will do something silly. She always crys and shouts at me.
Its just like a small kid. She always complains to the mother
about me. Although the mother dosen't really scolds me. But
I, as a guy, would not like that to happen as well .
Can you guys really advice me what i should do please?
I'm really confused.
Regards,
Jon
In the end, i broke off with her...i've no other choice as i feel that she need to be independent n mature in thinking..think she's doing very fine now..... -
Don't worry about her cutting her wrists. Most probably she is cutting them the wrong way anyway and won't die. It is easy to make those cut marks. You don't have to cut deep (I don't do it but I have crazy friends who do)
Emotional blackmail is the worst. If you feel there is no point, get out and stand firm on your decision. Make yourself uncontactable. No point hanging onto a relationship where you feel stifled because all you will feel in the end is resentment. -
If u are not happy in the r/s, then break off.
Your gf needs counselling. U should not give in to her blackmail.
U need to have a talk with her & convince her that both of u are not compatible & are inmature, u seem to have problems in communicating. -
but what i'm afraid is that she will do something silly. about
the 4 years girl. i mean, she was my ex.. not that i was with
her 4 years ago till now. lolx.. she suddenly came back..
do you think that she will do something silly ?
regards,
jon -
What toking u?Originally posted by confusedjmy:but what i'm afraid is that she will do something silly. about
the 4 years girl. i mean, she was my ex.. not that i was with
her 4 years ago till now. lolx.. she suddenly came back..
do you think that she will do something silly ?
regards,
jon
Can state which one is your current gf n which one is your ex? All 4 yrs.....*blurz* -
but everytime she cuts, there is quite alot of blood..Originally posted by elindra:Don't worry about her cutting her wrists. Most probably she is cutting them the wrong way anyway and won't die. It is easy to make those cut marks. You don't have to cut deep (I don't do it but I have crazy friends who do)
Emotional blackmail is the worst. If you feel there is no point, get out and stand firm on your decision. Make yourself uncontactable. No point hanging onto a relationship where you feel stifled because all you will feel in the end is resentment. -
the 4 years ago one is my ex.. now she's come back and
being by my side when i am sad and unhappy..
the 1 half year is my current.. the one with attitute and
cutting wrist..
sorry for the mis-communication..
regards,
jon -
Break up with your psycho current girlfriend. But don't involve your ex, or use your ex as a reason. You might just be subconsciously using the ex as a means of escape or indulging in her pity. And bringing YOUR relationship problems to her, isn't fair for her.
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U don't need to cut deep for a lot of bloodOriginally posted by confusedjmy:but everytime she cuts, there is quite alot of blood..
Anyway if she is cutting her wrist across she won't die so easily la. The right way to die -edited- MOD's note. (Sensitive information in this forum).
Anyway She is just putting on a show for u. If she really wants to die she will just lock herself in the toliet without letting you know and -edited- -
is better to left her now rather than later. as u know, there is no happy ending to this. u won be happy together wif her. so, left her.
"long pain, y not short pain" <== chinese proverb. -
/laffs
Someone give the girl a diagram with instructions!!
What's the use of putting on a show if noone's there to watch?
I agree, it's all hype.Originally posted by elindra:U don't need to cut deep for a lot of blood
Anyway if she is cutting her wrist across she won't die so easily la. The right way to die -edited-
Anyway She is just putting on a show for u. If she really wants to die she will just lock herself in the toliet without letting you know and -edited- -
x2.Originally posted by elindra:Don't worry about her cutting her wrists. Most probably she is cutting them the wrong way anyway and won't die. It is easy to make those cut marks. You don't have to cut deep (I don't do it but I have crazy friends who do)
Emotional blackmail is the worst. If you feel there is no point, get out and stand firm on your decision. Make yourself uncontactable. No point hanging onto a relationship where you feel stifled because all you will feel in the end is resentment.
In the end, the person who has to make the decision is u, all we can is to give our pt of view.
I used to know a guy with the same problem and drag it for more than 7 years. Not only did both of them resent to meet one another and rather go out with friends, the other girls that he went out with were all being hurt as the gal will threaten, keep calling their mobile non-stop and even more ridiculous actions. As usual, she will threaten to cut her wrist just like your situation.
If you really want to end this, you can just stop picking up her calls and just ignore and move on. Even after months, she might call you again, just ignore.
Do you want to control your situation, you have a choice to be the game master or the prey.
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Is she really wants to die, there's probably nothing much you can do to stop her totally. So long as you're not the one doing her alot of misdeeds to make her who she is today, there's limitation to what you can do to change her.Originally posted by confusedjmy:but what i'm afraid is that she will do something silly. about
the 4 years girl. i mean, she was my ex.. not that i was with
her 4 years ago till now. lolx.. she suddenly came back..
do you think that she will do something silly ?
regards,
jon -
hmmm did u spoilt her too much? my current gf also like tis...shout and scold me even if i din do ting wrongly...but at least she din cut herself...
maybe u shud try tellin her mum her present situation? tel her how ur gf treat u...and tat u wan break up...then ask her to watch over her daughter?
anyway gd luck... -
Devil is the first person to ever edit my posts
Go buy 4D
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hmm.. It seems like your current gf needs a lot of attention. Likewise the only attention she trys to seek from you is to use her life as a gamble. This gamble seems to be quite a big mistake.
Have you consider if one day she could have cut wrongly and die or someone could have discovered the blood loss too late. Relationship stemming out of these silly acts are far too threatening. I believe you need to have a good talk with her and talk some sense into her. Would she be glad to know if in the other way round you are the one who are always drinking dettol or swallowing sleeping pills with brandy just for her sake?
It seems that she is feeling very scare to lose you yet in the other stance keep doing silly things to make you stay. 100 over times of breakup is far too exaggerating over a period of 1.5 years. I feel you need to bring her to a psychiatrist not meaning she is crazy.. but the thinking of comtemplating sucide is far too frightening everytime she uses it. Do you think you will ever live without any regrets or reprisals even she jumps down on her own accord just trying to make you stay eventhough it is not your fault?
If you accept the relationship in the first place, at least you will need to have some responsibility. I do not mean that you are not allow to leave a person eventhough you know that both cannot get together. One party suffers is better than both miseries in their whole life. But this relationship is so exceptional.
Have you try telling her family and close friends Or one good way could be let her leave you automatically rather than you initiate a breakup. How to let her leave you ? You think yourself.
Goodluck... -
Hmm, the censored parts look interesting..
Anyways, as what the previous forumites have said.
There's no point holding on to this kind of relationship.
In the end you will both be very very unhappy,
and this unhappiness will continue to drag, until you give it up.
Why not get rid of the unhappiness now, while its still relatively young?
Surely you do not want to suffer for another few years?
While i know you're worried about her cutting herself..
There are only a few things you can do:-
1) Refer her to a counsellor
2) Tell her teacher
3) Tell her parents
4) (Only do this when you can stand it no more) Slap her on the face and tell her to wake up. <-- Seen this in a tv serial. I think it might just be the answer too.
Hopefully, she will wake up somehow. If not... sigh, what can you do but wait? In time she'll mature, and see the errors of her ways.. -
Sorry, sensitive information in this forum.Originally posted by elindra:Devil is the first person to ever edit my posts
Go buy 4D -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Sorry, sensitive information in this forum.
I kenna ToTo then I treat u la if not bo
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Originally posted by _Aaron_:Hmm, the censored parts look interesting..
Well, basically explaining why she won't die from what she is doing but only for show but I guess my explanation was too graphical -
1 cry 2 make noise 3 go die.
Tactical Espionage against guys.
Mission not accomplished, cry. Guy never relents, throw tantrum. Guy refuses to budge! Go die. Guy give up.
You win. -
maybe she's just insecured.... maybe u won't like it but i think u can erm.. talk to her. maybe there's something else bothering her?
i think if you give her a chance already and you've talked to her about it and she is still like that, then i think you just break up with her....
better now than drag. or else next time she " we so long already~~ *cries* since you already with me for XX years liao~~ *throw tantrum*~~ blah blah blah and blah. " until that time i think even harder to get out. -
dont commit yourself to something you dont even want.
and dont waste other ppl's time commiting to something when you're not going to make any effort on. -
Haiz.. i broke up with her le.. the way see her cry and cut herself
really hurts me.. many things happen today.. i don't think i will
type all out..
my sister and her boyfriend had to go talk to her and ask her to
stop crying.. i really dunno where to start..
i really feel very hurt to see her like this.. i can't bear to.. but i have
no choice.. do you guys think i made the right choice ??
confused,
jon