X2 her handling of the issue is too mild to send a message that she needs to send.Originally posted by Fuqua:COLD shoulder!!!!?
THAT cheating, 2face scum bag has an affair right under your nose, and you givng him cold shoulder!?? ONLY!!??? Sheesh!!!!!!!
He MAY be a good FATHER, but he's a lousy husband to YOU.
Lady, have some respect ... and dumped that piece of amoebic lifeform.
Wah liao, a bit complicated with this one. First of all, if she is Szechuan girl and not working in KTV, then a bit worrisome because Szechuan girls are much less materialistic than others. Plus the fact that she has a 14yr old son makes her least attractive to any local suitors.Originally posted by schui:Hi Xprobe,
Thank you for your help. Sorry for my late reply
From the information I gathered, this girl live in Cheng Du. She is working as a waitress at her brother steamboat shop. Understand from my husband, she get a small share, however, all money are control by her sister-in-law. But I don't believe she any share in the business, as her is not happy because she cannot get the money she wanted from this sister-in-law. She is find chances to start a fashion shop in Cheng Du.
Also, this girl is divorced and has a 14 years old son. However, the child stay with her husband. Xproble, what are the rule in China if the child don't stay with the mother, does she need to give money every month to he/her?
This girl also gamble (MJ) very big, he said 1 week at lest 4 times. But will give up this habit after knowing him. I don't believe, as I saw some SMS that she is continuing the habit behind his back.
I also believe this girl is after his money, and she had find out his background. She knows very well that his money source is from me, therefore, the main reason why she asked him not to divorce so as not to break the road.
ALL THE BEST.Originally posted by schui:Hi,
I too had thought to dump him. But my elder son said he need family spirit, therefore, I presently trying very hard to pull the family together again for the children.
I giving myself a time frame to June 2005, by then if the problem don't resolve, as least I have tried my best. There would be any regret in the future.
I know is going to be very hard, there isn't any right or wrong things, but somehow I trying to get the best out of the situation. Some time I lost of what I doing and at time have doubt.
Thank for all your help and advise, I ready need them as this moment.
x2 on the first part.Originally posted by mistyblue:You can build the family spirit together with the kids. With or without your husband ... His wish is a bit wilful as he does not understand the consequence of living in a broken home with bitter parents. You need to explain to your kids about your decision whatever it is in future so as that they do not resent you in future. This is because under whatever circumstance, whatever your decision, you are also doing this out of your love for them as much as your love for yourself. If you cannot love yourself, you cannot love them full as well.
No I don't advise on splits but I see the necessity if it comes to some situation. I cannot judge and I cannot instruct but I hope the site I gave you, showed some insight to what ppl do in this kind of situation. Some are worse off because they are totally reliant on the husband and the husband are abusive as well as unfaithful.
Hi Xprobe :Originally posted by Xprobe:Wah liao, a bit complicated with this one. First of all, if she is Szechuan girl and not working in KTV, then a bit worrisome because Szechuan girls are much less materialistic than others. Plus the fact that she has a 14yr old son makes her least attractive to any local suitors.
No wonder she keeps on with your husband even knowing his situation and such.
This might be conceptually challenging to Sporeans - because China has sooooo many people, girls who are late 20s and into their early 30s are already considered "orange at the bottom of the basket" in China. Let alone one that is divorced and has a 14yr old kid. There are no secrets in China, no point covering, and cannot cover one la.Originally posted by schui:Hi Xprobe :
This girl is not a Szechuan girl. How you ever work in Cheng Du before? If the child is not under with her, why is very hard for her to find a local suitors if she don't tell?
Tell him go to hell and talk to your laywer.Originally posted by schui:Thank Mistyblue,
Do you know, after I left home, he still got the gut to SMS asking me to lend him $200.00. Ready, I had came to a point where I see no future with this man. His family member and my friends all support my action. As for me, I told myself " I had tried and had put in all the effort, I had no give up, it was he who had given up the family."
Not because of the children, I will file for divorce. Ready I feel sad for the children to has such a father. Even now, my son is being to look down on him.
I know my road is still very long, I keep tell myself not to look back and be strong to move forward, but sometime is quite hard and bitter. Tears do drop down some of the night.
Ok here's the deal.Originally posted by schui:Hi Mistyblue,
Thank you for all your help and information.
I had told him to get the paper done if you wanted a divorce, as I do not wish to pay a single cent on the lawyer fees. He will need to come out with the money.
As for the children, he know he will loss them, as I more financial sound then him, as he is not holding any stable job.
As for the houses, has found out that our five room flat will make a huge loss if he going to sell it. Had checked all lossess will be 50-50. therefore, there nothing he can get from the sale of the flat as he may need to top up the losses. As for me, I can afford to buy a 3 room flat with the children after paying the losses.
As the whole, I will be at a win situation if I divorce. However, it going to be very hard for my son to accept it, as he still do not wish for us to go for a divorce. And that is the main reason why, I'm handling on to this marriage.
Originally posted by strawberry~!:Hi Strawberry,
Do you contribute to buying the flat also? if the case is in favour of you, any lost re the selling of the flat will be covered by ur husband..and any profit made will be shared b.w the 2 of you.
Woman's charted in singapore protects the women. So in divorce case, as long as u have the prove tt your husband is having adultery, file on adultery....u can claim so much more.......[/b]
Regarding your flat, I think you better check with HDB? From what I know, there's certainly no such 'added advantages'....Originally posted by schui:Hi Strawberry,
Are you sure about the loss on selling for flat? I thought all lossess are 50-50 if you file for divorce.