he earns less than you, how?

• elindra

  4 Mar 05, 16:57

  Originally posted by fairlady04:

  Thanks for sharing!
  fortunately for me, my him is not like tat. he is really nice to me. i am only worried about hurting his ego and wonder how long can this last w/o him bursting.
  do u think ur ex did all those to you bcos he felt inferior and as a result, develop bad temper, throw tantrums at u?
  That is what i am scared of in the future.

  Actually I think he put me down to make himself feel better.
  However, not all guys are like that. I do have friends who married guys who earn less and they are still very happy.
  
  You have to consider the guy's background too because he was borned rich but the fortune was lost so he was very spoilt when young.
• eyeceyes

  4 Mar 05, 17:14

  
  Both must work on the relationship. Guy needs to be appreciative (ie cannot take for granted; must sayang more) while gal needs to be sensitive (ie must gif face lah..). In relationship, it takes 2 to clap; cannot be one way street. no matter who is in a superior position, guy earns more or gal earns more, both need to work the relationship together.
  
  
• spencer99

  4 Mar 05, 17:20

  Originally posted by fairlady04:

  hi spencer99,
  thanks for stepping forward.
  
  i just thought, it is not very good for your ego right? how do u resolve that?
  but again, the difference is probably not a lot.
  is there any gals out there who has been thru this situation b4?

  She earn 50% more then me... more then 2k difference... somemore got more bonus... position higher also... her career just took off and she got a lot of opportunities... i was forced to change careers and then got stagnated.... so like that lor...
  
  initially it was a bit difficult. but then i realized that it didn't really matter. what is important is that we love each other.
  
  As for my ego... i don't think it is important... it is also important for the girl to feel alright to have a bf that is earning less.
  
  
• sweetie05

  4 Mar 05, 17:22

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Actually I think he put me down to make himself feel better.
  However, not all guys are like that. I do have friends who married guys who earn less and they are still very happy.
  
  You have to consider the guy's background too because he was borned rich but the fortune was lost so he was very spoilt when young.

  Elindra, so are you attached to a better guy now? I hope you are!
  
  I think i only attract guys who earn less than me. Think this is fate....
  
  Not that i mind, bcos poorer guys are indeed less flirtatious and less money to spend on vices. though it would definitely be the best of all worlds if they are faithful and yet still financially well-off too! am i asking too much??
  
• elindra

  4 Mar 05, 17:25

  Originally posted by sweetie05:

  Elindra, so are you attached to a better guy now? I hope you are!
  
  I think i only attract guys who earn less than me. Think this is fate....
  
  Not that i mind, bcos poorer guys are indeed less flirtatious and less money to spend on vices. though it would definitely be the best of all worlds if they are faithful and yet still financially well-off too! am i asking too much??
  

  Thanks sweetie05. You are indeed a sweetie
  I'm married to a great guy now
  
  He was earning less than me when we started dating but his salary is way more than mine now. Therefore, you never know
• sweetie05

  4 Mar 05, 17:37

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Thanks sweetie05. You are indeed a sweetie
  I'm married to a great guy now
  
  He was earning less than me when we started dating but his salary is way more than mine now. Therefore, you never know

  Envy envy!
  ok, i shall hold that hope! hehe
• eyal

  4 Mar 05, 17:46

  
  No problem lah. At least he stil working and earning his own money
• ShrodingersCat

  4 Mar 05, 18:49

  depends on how much less
  for example if i am oredi earning VERY LITTLE
  and facing financial difficulties
  and he earns EVEN LESS
  and facing his own financial difficulties
  
  (i am toking about not cannot go restaurant and eat type of difficulty, but the go market no money to buy food type of difficulty)
  
  then.. i think it is difficult to think about relationship and love, cos need to settle stomach first.
  
  BUT if I am earning 6k and he is earning 2 k...
  ADD together is 8k
  SO MUCH MONEY FOR WHAT?!
  
  Hmm. sigh. anyway all my life I been earning peanuts. damn difficult to find someone earning less than me. pathetic... sigh.
• rumie

  4 Mar 05, 19:55

  i used to earn about $2.8k while my gf earns more than me.... she said she doesnt mind, but she'll want me not to feel inferior and encourage me just to concentrate in my career and progress.
  
  Now, i earn more than her. i still have my career, and she's still my gf.
  
  she waited for me.
• thoreldan

  4 Mar 05, 19:58

  not an issue here if the couple is of the same age and just started working not long. Girls would have 2-2.5 years more working experience than guys (due to ns)
  
  2-3 years down the road, the salary should be level if not the guy earning more.
  
  cheers
• 'm back

  5 Mar 05, 15:45

  
  
  she earn more tha me go why...
  i got no money can also ask from her haha
• Devil1976

  5 Mar 05, 17:17

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Thanks sweetie05. You are indeed a sweetie
  I'm married to a great guy now
  
  He was earning less than me when we started dating but his salary is way more than mine now. Therefore, you never know

  
• law8angi

  6 Mar 05, 03:26

  no problem at all. I used to earn less than my gf due to my lower education. she was holding a degree but i'm not.
  Well, I worked hard for it and now I got a degree and she is at home taking care of our 3 wonderful kids.
  Give him time and encourage him to move forward both in eduaction and career.
  Anyway, job is not forever. one day you could be out of job and have to settle for one which is lower pay. So what is all this higher pay or lower pay, it could be temperory and things could turns around drastically.
  
  No one knows what will happen ???
  
• aCid_rAIn

  6 Mar 05, 03:58

  Originally posted by fairlady04:

  is it possible for such a relationship to sustain?

  y not?
• Nelster

  6 Mar 05, 17:51

  its on sunday times
• fairlady04

  7 Mar 05, 08:33

  Originally posted by Nelster:

  its on sunday times

  oh dear! it is really no sunday times! and Patrik, Parn and Elindra are quoted, for their sensible, albeit somewhat opposing views. Thanks everyone for sharing ur tots.
• sbst275

  7 Mar 05, 08:34

  Anyway...
  
  Seriously, income should not even be of an issue
• sweetie05

  7 Mar 05, 08:43

  Originally posted by sbst275:

  Anyway...
  
  Seriously, income should not even be of an issue

  it does. u probably dun have real life experience, so u won't understand.
  can't say for sure if it is the chief cause of the many broken marriages and breakups, but u have seen how many women who list "financial stability" which in other words "earn more than me" as one of their criteria for choosing a partner?
  when it comes to money, it is an issue, especially in an affluent, high-maintenance society like Singapore.
• sbst275

  7 Mar 05, 08:44

  Originally posted by sweetie05:

  it does. u probably dun have real life experience, so u won't understand.
  can't say for sure if it is the chief cause of the many broken marriages and breakups, but u have seen how many women who list "financial stability" which in other words "earn more than me" as one of their criteria for choosing a partner?
  when it comes to money, it is an issue, especially in an affluent, high-maintenance society like Singapore.

  Well.. In Singapore, it is true..
  
  But love and $$ should not mix
• sweetie05

  7 Mar 05, 08:57

  Originally posted by sbst275:

  Well.. In Singapore, it is true..
  
  But love and $$ should not mix

  ideally, it "should" not.
  but it "will".
  that's the whole sad truth.
  so will it be "reality" or "true love" that prevails? Everyone has his/her own take.
• gerrykoh

  7 Mar 05, 10:14

  As long as he is supportive of your career & long hours & is a good husband.
  Money is not everything.
  
  But some guys become parasites & expect their wives to become sole providers. It can be very tiring esp. if u have kids. This type of guy can do without!
• dezmondlim

  7 Mar 05, 11:13

  is okay for me lol .......dont feel like a gigolo either ...... since my gf dad is so damn rich ... and she spends her money like water ...
• flow

  7 Mar 05, 12:10

  facts of life:
  
  if both are not in financial difficulties, it's not an issue, coz the stress is probably just the ego and face part. But when in difficulties, this will crop up and it takes a lot more effort to try to maintain (whether can maintain or not will depend on both sides).
  afterall, we all recognised that ai qing bu shi mian bao.
  
• mach10

  7 Mar 05, 16:32

  Originally posted by fairlady04:

  is it possible for such a relationship to sustain?

  The magnitude of love measures from the heart. Not from the head.
  
  cheerios
• FeowFeow

  8 Mar 05, 11:20

  Yes. I was wif a guy who earned more than me, way more. He bot me thgs I liked, was gentlemanly, refined, & educated.
  
  Ultimately, the r'ship ended wif tears on both sides, pain, etc. My current guy isn't earning more than me. He spoils me in many other little ways. We're still as happee as ever.
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by fairlady04:

  is it possible for such a relationship to sustain?