6 yrs difference in a relationship.
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hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks.
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well.. this is between you and her.. i know parents giving lots of pressure and stress oso.. Maybe you and her can talk to her parents.. i guess her parents wants her to find someone more mature and can take care of her.. and not the other way.. And also.. maybe they feel that she shouldn't waste her time anymore as she's not young.. time to setlle down..Originally posted by lord54:hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks.
You can try to fight.. but both must be determined and go for it.. if there's only one fighting.. soon.. you'll jus give up..
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My 1st question is "Are you certain of what you want?"Originally posted by lord54:hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks.
If you wait for about 3 years down the line when you're 27 and she's 33, things might not be that bad then... -
Let her go. Not unless you believe that true love conquers all. You will feel the difference a lot more when get to middle age. Imagine you are 35 and she will be 41.
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true love does not always conquer.. but living in this practical world, u may need to consider many factors, and working on dealing with the obstacles.
if the obstacle is too huge, forget it.
but if the both of u can within stand it and still have hope in being together, then nothing is impossible. good luck.
S.H.I.N. -
hi all,
thks for all the above comment. those comments really sent me thinking alot abt our relationship. i feel that other than her age, all her other attributes is good to my standard. i want to give it my best as i dun want to regret for life. will make her family feel that i am worthy of their daughter.
i believe that "love is not given, u had to earn it". -
follow your heart.. if you think you are able to handle this relationship then jus got for it. Explain to her and your family , if both of you reali serious about this relationship, then both of you should face it together
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age is not a problem..
good luck. -
depends on wat u want? mi got frd whose gf is 10 yrs older then him n they r still happily attached
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Yes, even though it is between two persons, ultimately, you will need her parents' approval/blessing for her hand in marriage.Originally posted by lord54:hi all,
thks for all the above comment. those comments really sent me thinking alot abt our relationship. i feel that other than her age, all her other attributes is good to my standard. i want to give it my best as i dun want to regret for life. will make her family feel that i am worthy of their daughter.
i believe that "love is not given, u had to earn it".
Meet her parents more often. Do stuffs for them. 'Buy their hearts'. Convince her parents that you are worthy of her. -
Unlss you're an aimless bum (like myself LOL), it shouldn't be a problem after awhile. If you've got a decent job and isn't living off her, I don't think that her parents won't reject you for much longer.
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I think in asian families the key difference is age - standing in society. By standing in society i mean job, material possesions etc etc. My gf and I are born in the same year cept that she's born @ the beginning and I'm born @ the end. Anyway, her family doesn't really accept that cos her parents are really kampong and they want a guy @ least 8-12 yrs older.. in terms of material posessions and social standing .. her family is way above me and my fam.. but in terms of husband:wife perspective i'm the one with the so called better degree, better job, and better income etc etc.. so it has not become an issue and her family loves me simply because i'm mature and responsible. if you're roughly in my position i say you should hold on.. if you're the one with the shit job, the shit degree, the shit pay, the shit qualifications both paper and heart, then i'd say give up.. BUT.. if you really love her and as mentioned above you want her for certain, never give up no matter what, and disregard all the crap that i said.
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Let her go. Not unless you believe that true love conquers all. You will feel the difference a lot more when get to middle age. Imagine you are 35 and she will be 41.
wasn't the difference greater than when she was 18, in j2 or poly 2 or even working and he was still 12 and in primary 6? -
Originally posted by lord54:hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks. 
Why are you heeding to what the norms... what the society wants you to conform?
The herd instinct.
In the first place, if you accepted the relationship, you ought to have accepted the challenges you are definitely going to face. NOT just among the both of you, rather the views and stuff bystanders would try to implement into your thoughts and mindsets.
Who are they to judge for the outcome of YOUR relationship?
If you can't even equip yourself with the essential psychological and emotional tools needed for you to overcome your issues, you are simply not ready such relationship and can probably admit that you had made a mistake in the acceptance.
You have already enter the relationship: there is no turning back.
You will fight, even if you are unarmed.
P.S: If you have to lose the relationship, let it be somewhere within your span of control and not an environmental factor where you can only play victim and watch your love wither and die.
Cheers -
hi all,
thks for all the above comment.
had a talk with my GF just now. i know the reasons behind it why she wants to follow her mum's thinking now. i had hurt her deeply that i dun even know. as for wat is it abt. that's my secret berween both of us. can tell u ppl is that it is truly my fault. had learnt frm this mistake and pay a valuable price for it.
now i can do is try my best to win her back, because she is really really such a nice gal that i had ever met. she is good in all sense except that sometimes she is blur and that's the one and only fault that i can find in her.
ok guys thks for those valuable comments.
pray for my success thks. -
hi,
want to tell those ppl out there with GF.
pls pls pls dun take ur GF for granted.
or u will regret it. this is wat i can say to u ppl.
treat them well and their family like ur own, u will not go wrong on this.
dun give them a hard time ok, she too had pride and feeling . sometime they dun say it out doesn't meant nothing had happened. they just care abt u, they dun want to hurt ur feeling.
this is frm my personal experience and now trying to salvage this mess.sad to say.
and i hope that those who read these, better sms their GF that u love them. it can really make a lot difference, it doesn't hurt to say to the one u love. dun be like me in these mess.
all the best. thks. -
think they are more interested to know if their daughter is in safe hands anot. look at your age, they will think u are still out to have fun... the only way is 2 assure them that u are stable or looking to be stable and serious about your relationship with her. so i guess u can work from there....Originally posted by lord54:hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks. -
You should fight for what you want really. Rather than living in regrets.
It's not gonna be easy since :
1.) You've hurt her. Hence you have to repent and treat her even nicer.
2.) Her parents object. Hence you have to convince her parents that their daughter is in your safe hands.
Never let this opportunity of your happiness slip away. Age is not a factor so long both of you stand together strongly and closely.
All the best! -
alright....intro her to me then.
opps...joking
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I agreed. Dont take things for granted.
Age is not an issue.
Height is not an issue
Size is not an issue.
But Heart is a big issue.
If got heart, dan just do what your heart says. -
dump her. give the younger girls a chance. if not they willl have difficulty finding a good guy like u.
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hi,
now trying whatever i can to get her back. can someone give some opinions or suggestion pls?thks.
Frm her, i realise that i am not a good guy. i dun know how to treat a gal well, dun know what she really want. and many more things.
done lots of soul searching these few days. it is true that there are really a lot better gals out there but she is the only one special in this world. there will never be another her ever again...
now wat i can is to let my action speak for it.
thks. -
ok...fight till the end only if the both of you really ready to commit~ if not maybe you two can hide the r/s 1st then later plan and see what you two can do~Originally posted by lord54:hi all, have this problem.
had a GF that is 6 yrs older than me. but her family strongly object us together. reason given was that i am younger than her. she is 30 this yrs and i am 24. so i dun think i am not that young either. i dun mind her older than me. she herself had no objection but she listen to her family. she does not want her famiy to be unhappy over our relationship. so having this dilema.
should i let her go or i fight to the end? anyone out there who face this kind of prob and would like to share. thks.
remember...if she is not the girl you want to spend your rest of the life with..i advice you to leave early rather than get hurt in the end~ -
Originally posted by lord54:hi,
now trying whatever i can to get her back. can someone give some opinions or suggestion pls?thks.
Frm her, i realise that i am not a good guy. i dun know how to treat a gal well, dun know what she really want. and many more things.
done lots of soul searching these few days. it is true that there are really a lot better gals out there but she is the only one special in this world. there will never be another her ever again...
now wat i can is to let my action speak for it.
thks.
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Hey i tink you are getting shortsighted here...Originally posted by keuriseudo:true love does not always conquer.. but living in this practical world, u may need to consider many factors, and working on dealing with the obstacles.
if the obstacle is too huge, forget it.
but if the both of u can within stand it and still have hope in being together, then nothing is impossible. good luck.
S.H.I.N.
True love does conquers all. If Obstacles are "too great"... That means there isn't any real genuine love.
If obstacles are "too great" to you, den i tink you are not ready for anything, less say relationship and marriage.
Say... you're contradicting yourself by adding in the last sentence.