avoiding
-
this girl i like already got a bf. i know her for a long time already. we are actually once very close friends. when i realised that i liked her, i began aggresively woo her by asking her out for makan, movie, play etc.
but recently she i feel that she is avoiding me leh.
why is she behaving like that? does that means game over for me already?
the problem here is that i havent even confess to her. its just like losing the competition before it even started. so sad
pls advice -
Maybe you tried too hard which scares her off
-
maybe she is afraid to lose the frdship?
-
i was thinking could it becoz of her bf that made her react that way? if u ask me, i dont believe she has no interest in me at all(maybe abit?) but i am curious why she behave this way. i still want to maintain our friendship even if we cant be together. the way she behaving now, made me think twice of confessing to her. i might scare her off?
i wanted to ask her but i dont have the opportunity so far. -
mebbe she loves her bf & dun want to give u the idea tat u stand a chance by going out wif u so many times.
frankly speaking i am oso avoiding someone coz he gets the wrong impression i like him.
-
no 1 she has a bf
no 2 girls hate guys who try too hard
no 3 would you like you future gf to be wooed by other guys? -
In the first place, since she's already attached, you shouldn't even be tacitly wooing her, much less doing it aggressively.
I guess she got the idea that you like her. However, since she's already attached and has feelings for someone else, she doesn't want to give you the wrong ideas and is giving you the cold shoulder.
My advice to you: stop pursuing her, whether it is aggresively or in a subtle manner.
I can tell you one thing is for sure: you'll end up hurting a lot of people if you do manage to steal her from her boyfriend.
Yes, that's what you're doing: you're stealing her away from someone else. You're gonna hurt the guy, you're gonna hurt the girl when she realises that she hurt someone else, and if you have a conscience, you're gonna feel hurt knowing that you had hurt other people.
So be the nice guy and back off from her.
Just appreciate her as a friend; that is something special in itself. -
if dont like can straight away tell me right? besides i know her for so long already. there is nothing that she cannot tell me mah. but avoiding me seems like not very nice leh.Originally posted by huiz:mebbe she loves her bf & dun want to give u the idea tat u stand a chance by going out wif u so many times.
frankly speaking i am oso avoiding someone coz he gets the wrong impression i like him.
i am left wondering if she likes me or not. -
avoiding = dont like?
is that true for girls?
but some of my gal friends told me that they avoid a guy sometimes not becoz they dont like him -
since u two are frens for so long, & there is nothing she cant tell u, why not u ask her?Originally posted by soulness:if dont like can straight away tell me right? besides i know her for so long already. there is nothing that she cannot tell me mah. but avoiding me seems like not very nice leh.
i am left wondering if she likes me or not.
i think avoiding is a sign tat u may not stand a chance now. she may want to let things cool down & pass over. -
You broke the unspoken friendship pact.
She treated u as just a close friend, when u made your moves, she realise what u are trying to do.
She avoided u b'cos she do not want u to sink deeper.
In her mind, she already very clear-cut. bf is bf, close friend is close friend.
If her bf is good to her, back off. Dun confuse her.
it's good for everyone. -
she is avoiding me.. whenever i talk to her, she will change topic when i try to probe deeper into this issue. when i persist, she will give some reasons and leaves. both in real life, internet or sms.Originally posted by huiz:since u two are frens for so long, & there is nothing she cant tell u, why not u ask her?
i think avoiding is a sign tat u may not stand a chance now. she may want to let things cool down & pass over.
im left puzzled by her action. i dont mind being rejected, but i dont like the feeling of uncertainty.
if she directly rejects me, i might be happier as i can move on, but she never show any sign, only keep avoiding me. sigh..
-
thats YOUR way of thinking, you don't know for sure if she thinks of it the same way as you do.Originally posted by soulness:if dont like can straight away tell me right? besides i know her for so long already. there is nothing that she cannot tell me mah. but avoiding me seems like not very nice leh.
i am left wondering if she likes me or not.
beside, she's already attached, don't be a third party and cause grief and awkwardness to people around. -
come on la. wake up, if she already avoids the topic and tries not to talk about it she doesnt like you lor.
-
If she has got a bf, then dont waste your time, regardless of how bad her bf treats her
i wasted a year waiting for a girl, who broke up with her bf dunno how many times. in the end, i realised what a dumbass i've been -
Things to Note:
1. Your hardball tactics are scaring her off.
2. She already has a boyfriend.
Dude, the current situational factors are against you.
Let your love Life flow. Affinity plays a part.
Perhaps in future, the two of you might have a chance of getting together. But for now, give it a break and dedicate your best wishes to them. Hey, it's the best you can do for your close friend.
Cheers.
-
since she dun wanna talk abt it, then dun force her loh. otherwise, it will only turn her off if u persist.Originally posted by soulness:she is avoiding me.. whenever i talk to her, she will change topic when i try to probe deeper into this issue. when i persist, she will give some reasons and leaves. both in real life, internet or sms.
im left puzzled by her action. i dont mind being rejected, but i dont like the feeling of uncertainty.
if she directly rejects me, i might be happier as i can move on, but she never show any sign, only keep avoiding me. sigh..
why muz guys need to be told in the face wat some things meant b4 they understand?
haiz.... -
Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not... In your case...? It PROBABLY IS...Originally posted by soulness:avoiding = dont like?
is that true for girls?
but some of my gal friends told me that they avoid a guy sometimes not becoz they dont like him -
You're THINKING TOO MUCH.. She've got a BF and she's YOUR FRIEND...Originally posted by soulness:i was thinking could it becoz of her bf that made her react that way? if u ask me, i dont believe she has no interest in me at all(maybe abit?) but i am curious why she behave this way. i still want to maintain our friendship even if we cant be together. the way she behaving now, made me think twice of confessing to her. i might scare her off?
i wanted to ask her but i dont have the opportunity so far.
Whether it's her or her bf's doings for her to react to you this way... You just have to understand that you've OVRESTEPPED the BORDER...
You don't believe she has no interest in you at all DOESN'T EQUALS to she's interested in you... WAKE UP YOUR IDEAS... Even if she's just interested in you A BIT ONLY... It probably ain't gonna make much of a difference.. I would rather put it in such that she MIGHT not HATE you now.... So DON'T do any more FOOLISH THINGS to make her so..
As curious as you are to why she's behaving this way, she's probably asking the SAME QUESTION... WHY ARE YOU BEHAVING THIS WAY as a FRIEND and DESPITE the FACT that you're KNOW she's ALREADY ATTACHED....?
If you have second thoughts about confessing to her, then I would BETTER ADVISE you.... DON'T... You probably already KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES, but you just that you won't admit it's a WALL AHEAD until you hear a LOUD BANG as your head HITS on it, seeing yourself BLEED IN PAIN....
WAKE UP. BEFORE YOU LOSE EVERYTHING. -
Bro, it happened to me b4 and i have learnt something that love cannot be forced. If you die die wan her to be wif you, 3 parties will suffer very much. Only when you learn to let go, you will learn how to handle your next relationship. Just leave things as it is, treat her as a normal friend....Who koes, mayb she will come back to you?
-
everybody here is against 3rd parties...
but what abt the situation my fren is in?
he's my classmate, we are in jc1. i always see him together with this girl in our class... sitting together in lectures and class n stuff. prob is, the girl is already attached to someone else. but she is very happy to be with my classmate (a lot of times it's she who takes the initiative and comes to sit with him) she likes to draw on his lecture notes and stuff.
they've known each other for more than a year now, and they became close recently. she told him once that she had alot of doubts abt her present relationship and din think it would last much longer.
any advice for my friend? should he lessen his involvement with her, continue at the present level, or take things one step further? (ask her out n stuff) -
But in the first place, is your friend actively pursuing the girl? That may not be the case. It could be just that your friend likes her as a friend while the girl wants to get something more out of it.Originally posted by wd1:everybody here is against 3rd parties...
but what abt the situation my fren is in?
he's my classmate, we are in jc1. i always see him together with this girl in our class... sitting together in lectures and class n stuff. prob is, the girl is already attached to someone else. but she is very happy to be with my classmate (a lot of times it's she who takes the initiative and comes to sit with him) she likes to draw on his lecture notes and stuff.
they've known each other for more than a year now, and they became close recently. she told him once that she had alot of doubts abt her present relationship and din think it would last much longer.
any advice for my friend? should he lessen his involvement with her, continue at the present level, or take things one step further? (ask her out n stuff)
If that's the case, your friend cannot be considered as an active third party. Then he's just an unwilling third party - someone who doesn't want to get in the way of the relationships of others but somehow did so unintentionally.
I think it's more of the intentions which determine whether or not a third party is guilty. If your friend isn't aggressively pursuing the girl (unlike the case of this entire thread), then he hasn't done anything wrong and has nothing to feel ashamed about.
I have no advice for your friend except to just continue treating her as a friend. There is nothing wrong in a friendship with a girl, and it is indeed something to be cherished.
But if your friend is indeed pursuing the girl actively, then just tell him two words: BACK OFF. -
u guys are against it becoz of the 3rd party issue
but if i tell u that i actually not sure that if she had a bf right now or not, would this change how u guys look at it?
in fact, i never really asked her whether she is attached or not. i only remember seeing her with a guy before. that was like half a year ago, besides she seem to behave like she is single
ie; sometimes we tease her saying she going dating with bf, she will reply saying "no lar, just normal friend" etc -
What? You're not sure whether or not she has a bf?!Originally posted by soulness:u guys are against it becoz of the 3rd party issue
but if i tell u that i actually not sure that if she had a bf right now or not, would this change how u guys look at it?
in fact, i never really asked her whether she is attached or not. i only remember seeing her with a guy before. that was like half a year ago, besides she seem to behave like she is single
ie; sometimes we tease her saying she going dating with bf, she will reply saying "no lar, just normal friend" etc
You should have mentioned this much, much earlier! It would have changed a lot of people's opinions on this matter, including mine. -
What? You're not sure whether or not she has a bf?!Originally posted by soulness:u guys are against it becoz of the 3rd party issue
but if i tell u that i actually not sure that if she had a bf right now or not, would this change how u guys look at it?
in fact, i never really asked her whether she is attached or not. i only remember seeing her with a guy before. that was like half a year ago, besides she seem to behave like she is single
ie; sometimes we tease her saying she going dating with bf, she will reply saying "no lar, just normal friend" etcYou should have mentioned this much, much earlier! Plus the fact that she denies having one. There is a reasonable chance that she may be single and available if this was the case. All this info would have changed a lot of people's opinions on this matter, including mine.