What can i do?
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Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah..... -
wat religion leh?
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One yr separation and it's still considered a relationship?
Are u sure u are not being fooled? -
btw, i can't imagine a 30+yr old cyndi wang face.......
it's so.......eerrr.............
lao act cute? -
still need to ask meh? the oni religion i knwo that got such gathering is christians lor
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Hmm.. if he truly loves you, why does he need to concentrate on his religious activities??? And not to even mention 'KIV' the r'ship. It really makes one wonder and ponder.
Can't he strike a balance between his religious activities and you? Or can I say that he got poor time management? Or you are obviously not in one of his priorities?
Give up this chap, I suggest. Find your happiness elsewhere. -
Totally agree with dzylim!!!Originally posted by dzylim:still need to ask meh? the oni religion i knwo that got such gathering is christians lor -
Just forget him.
I year and no contact means he doesn't have u in his heart! -
Just leave him alone...He is a 'Holy' Man.
not unless u are contented with missionary position all ur life........ -
Your bf might be using this seperation period to search for another potential gf...all guys does that...even though they might promise you all those cheesy lines in the movies.Originally posted by alien_04:Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah.....
Better start to worry about your next step...current step. Dump him before he dumps you...or be really prepared to be dumped by him.
Btw, my frd's gf looked like Cyndi too. -
Separation for a year without a good reason...?Originally posted by alien_04:Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah.....
Might as well move on with your life...? -
HELLO! NOT ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT HOR! when are u people going to get it into ur thick skull tat not everyone will behave the same way! u people are never going to grow up like that.Originally posted by parn:Your bf might be using this seperation period to search for another potential gf...all guys does that...even though they might promise you all those cheesy lines in the movies.
Better start to worry about your next step...current step. Dump him before he dumps you...or be really prepared to be dumped by him.
Btw, my frd's gf looked like Cyndi too. -
Well, i betrayed his trust and he cannot get to trust me anymore.Originally posted by Devil1976:Separation for a year without a good reason...?
Might as well move on with your life...?
I have been asking for his forgiveness for the past 1 yr, it's already
very kind of him to talk to me. We still keep in touch for the past one year
but just calling on the phone or just happen to meet at our religious place.
He will initiate conversation at our religuous meetings sometimes, but
I'm the one who initiate phone calls. He did call me to inform that he
change his mobile no.
Well, he has put the past behind him and tell me not to worry about it.
He did mention that we can still meet up for meals often, but most
of the time he will be busy with work or religious meetings. So i'm not
sure if just say say or really true....
Moving on is easy to say but very difficult, i have other suitors but
funnily i just find them revolting, don't know why......
BTW, we are not christians....
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They were not like that, but are truly capable of being like that. Those that are not like that yet simply do not have the opportunity to become like that...not fine enough to get into a relationship yet.Originally posted by dzylim:HELLO! NOT ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT HOR! when are u people going to get it into ur thick skull tat not everyone will behave the same way! u people are never going to grow up like that.
Guys hurt girls...and they will do so eventually. Never trust a guy if he ever promise you that he will NEVER do anything to hurt you...cos they will. And when they eventually does it to you, they are expecting you to understand them and let them off easy.
Relationship itself is a vicious cycle...and when a guy doesn't understand what kind of damage he is capable of doing to hurt the girl he has promised to love, he is still not capable of loving that girl yet.
And if a girl understands how she is able to control/trigger her guy's emotion, she is capable of loving her guy.
It's a give and take world...eventually it is still up to them if they are willing to learn more of their own role and the amount of effort they are using to learn...in order to make their relationship work out...which we often termed it as commitment.
It's amusing to hear that everytime when the opposite(highlighted in red) is the eventual outcome. -
Originally posted by parn:They were not like that, but are truly capable of being like that. Those that are not like that yet simply do not have the opportunity to become like that...not fine enough to get into a relationship yet.
Exactly like some females which R no where near fine to even think to cheat guys.
Guys hurt girls...and they will do so eventually. Never trust a guy if he ever promise you that he will NEVER do anything to hurt you...cos they will. And when they eventually does it to you, they are expecting you to understand them and let them off easy.
Females play guys out in lots of ways,never trust a female when they say they willing to be wif you till the end of time..When they see better looking guys/better cars/more place to chiong, their heart flutter & in the end leave the guy.They may say Never but in their heart,onlythe gals know the answer .
Relationship itself is a vicious cycle...and when a guy doesn't understand what kind of damage he is capable of doing to hurt the girl he has promised to love, he is still not capable of loving that girl yet.
When a female cheat & leave the guy,it hurts a guy deeply also,is the damage lesser then when a guy leave a gal..wat the hell u talking about? You r lik stepping all guys in the world, thinking only female is those tat WILL/CAN/COULD get hurt. WHY?? GUYS not people ah, no need to eat mea
And if a girl understands how she is able to control/trigger her guy's emotion, she is capable of loving her guy.
Its vice verser/equal out to both sex in a certain relationship when there is LOVE. not only gal can do it..guy salso can..jus hv to get the time & atmospher right.
It's a give and take world...eventually it is still up to them if they are willing to learn more of their own role and the amount of effort they are using to learn...in order to make their relationship work out...which we often termed it as commitment.
Does it reason out to be "Being together for the sake of having each other"?
It's amusing to hear that everytime when the opposite(highlighted in red) is the eventual outcome.
Mayb u hv been hurt in the past by some bastards..fair enough.jus lik me or some other guys in this forum hv been hurt by BITCHES & SLUTS...its the same, jus tat we hv not met the right person in life yet..So pls dun say till guys are lik tat..i do agree some r lik tat, jus like some females BUT NOT ALL of the guys are as what you mention of capable of hurting females..Female is not capable of hurting guys ah??
If u r a guy, i'm a gal, i say i love u ,be wid u for a mth, & jus walk out on you. den u say the same bout gals..
PLS..both sexes hv their own flaws...Is whether do you see it or did your partner do it on you or not. -
My first instinct when I read your story is the guy is a fraud who is simply giving excuses to buy time with you until he finds the right girl after which he will "heck"-care about u. However, you posted subsequently that you have betrayed his trust before, and other possibilities came to my mind. Maybe he still needs time to get over your betrayal OR he may simply be using this time round as his revenge to get back at you.
As there seems to be multiple scenarios, and I'm not this guy, therefore I don't know what's going thro his mind, I'd have to advise you to follow your heart then. If you feel that his contact with you now is genuine, that his care and concern for you is genuine, and you still want him back, then you have to continue the waiting game. And if that's the case, you better banish those images of him "doing" it with the old-act-cute Cyndi-Wang (BTW, what's so good abt looking like Cyndi? She has the look of a S L U T) or you'd feel like you're in the dump most of the time, and that's not good for your mental/physical health.
On the other hand, if you feel that his care and concern for you is just routine, without the passion, then you should seriously consider putting him into the friendship category and stick to that decision. You don't have another one or two years to wait for him...you're not getting any younger, you know. If you don't let him go, the next guy won't come along. And who knows, the next guy may just be the right one yar.
It's your call from here. Good luck! -
So religious... y? u r charmed into waiting?
Sounds familiar...
Honestly, u dun have to wait. you are under no obligations to wait. Move on, there are other much better ones around. one who really make you feel important as a person. imagine when you both married and he gota attend to his religious stuffs... erm... anywayz...
All the best!
Cheerios -
what kind of religion needs the two of you to be seperated? don't you find it stupid? if he really loves you..religion is not a matter at all...what the two of you really need is a good talk...if he cannot gives you any promises or commitment...then i think its wise for you to leave him now~ stop wasting your time and youth for him~Originally posted by alien_04:Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah..... -
i find it weird to see both of u seperated becos of a religion? i suggest u migt as well ask him in his face whether he care for u more or the religion. Although this is the hard way of pushing him for an answer, but often in dire circumstancesm, u will get to know the most honest answer. From then, u can decide on how to carry on with ur life. make things easier for everyone. If u got doubts, erase it. tats alL~~ For ur consideration~~Originally posted by alien_04:Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah..... -
How old are the both of you?Originally posted by alien_04:Well, i betrayed his trust and he cannot get to trust me anymore.
I have been asking for his forgiveness for the past 1 yr, it's already
very kind of him to talk to me. We still keep in touch for the past one year
but just calling on the phone or just happen to meet at our religious place.
He will initiate conversation at our religuous meetings sometimes, but
I'm the one who initiate phone calls. He did call me to inform that he
change his mobile no.
Well, he has put the past behind him and tell me not to worry about it.
He did mention that we can still meet up for meals often, but most
of the time he will be busy with work or religious meetings. So i'm not
sure if just say say or really true....
Moving on is easy to say but very difficult, i have other suitors but
funnily i just find them revolting, don't know why......
BTW, we are not christians....
Strange? Why would you still consider him as your bf? Would he think the same?
What had you done to betray his trust for you? -
The part where u sez never to trust a guy who claims he'll never hurt u cosh when they do they expect u to let them off ez is kinda correct
There was an ex who claimed, "I'd rather jump off a cliff than hurt u" a long time ago Naturally, he never did lorr, those were flowery words. Otherwise he wld be totally paralysed or dead by now after throwing himself over the cliff 10,000 times
Thankfully, my guy is v. upfront wif me
FeowFeowOriginally posted by parn:They were not like that, but are truly capable of being like that. Those that are not like that yet simply do not have the opportunity to become like that...not fine enough to get into a relationship yet.
Guys hurt girls...and they will do so eventually. Never trust a guy if he ever promise you that he will NEVER do anything to hurt you...cos they will. And when they eventually does it to you, they are expecting you to understand them and let them off easy.
Relationship itself is a vicious cycle...and when a guy doesn't understand what kind of damage he is capable of doing to hurt the girl he has promised to love, he is still not capable of loving that girl yet.
And if a girl understands how she is able to control/trigger her guy's emotion, she is capable of loving her guy.
It's a give and take world...eventually it is still up to them if they are willing to learn more of their own role and the amount of effort they are using to learn...in order to make their relationship work out...which we often termed it as commitment.
It's amusing to hear that everytime when the opposite(highlighted in red) is the eventual outcome. -
Dear FeowFeow,Originally posted by FeowFeow:The part where u sez never to trust a guy who claims he'll never hurt u cosh when they do they expect u to let them off ez is kinda correct
There was an ex who claimed, "I'd rather jump off a cliff than hurt u" a long time ago Naturally, he never did lorr, those were flowery words. Otherwise he wld be totally paralysed or dead by now after throwing himself over the cliff 10,000 times
Thankfully, my guy is v. upfront wif me
FeowFeow
I think it's quite irrational to bring up the statement said by your ex to further support Parn's post.
Your ex might have might it at that moment when he said it.
It's good to have a good guy right now...
All the best!
Cheers -
Both of you will meet up weekly for religious meetings right? But it was recent then a official lunch meeting was setup.Originally posted by alien_04:Recently, my bf n I met up for lunch after 1 yr of seperation to have a
good talk about our relationship. It was a happy moment although
he still prefer to be seperated for the time being to concentrate in religious
activities till we are strong enough to be ready or if fate still permit us to be together. So in the end, still no concrete answer to our future.
Through conversation, he still care about me. But I'm not sure if it is loving concern or friendship concern.
Sometimes, at religious meeting, I will see him with a group of friends
and one of them is our ex-colleage, very chio, like Cyndie Wang but
the older version, in her mid 30s and few yrs older than my bf.
Still, my heart will ache n will hu si luan xiang about them meeting often in their religious activities and mayb love will blossom between them ?
Sigh, if really happen i can only wish them happiness bah.....
In my perspective.
When there's no concrete answer to both your future, does it mean the end? You should seek to find within yourself what future do you wish to build on.
He doesn't have a answer, if you really wish to be with him. You should initiate the answer.
He may not want to give you hopes and promises and end up changing his mind. He is truly happy being alone and his religion...let him be.
Him placing his religion as a foothold to grow and be strong is a way to escape from his own decisions and responsibilities. Depending on fate only will create a sense of hope and dellusion in you.
Second para(It's not him or that Cyndi look alike, it's your insecurities and fantasies playing on you) and subsequent post is irrelevant and unnecessary to comment.
________________________________________
Advice:
Walk on.
Not because there was distrust, hurt nor was it about hurt and cheating. Not because it's a waste of time or youth...
There wasn't any promises or pact between both of you, hence it makes no sense in waiting for something which is lost and except it to be found and come back to you.
It's all about yourself, find your life and self worth. It about taking charge of your very self, be free from this phrase. You've been staying for far too long. It just shows you haven't grown much since the break up.
REmember that every relationship has it's reasons for it's failure and successes.
If he does want you back, he'll have to fight his way to prove his sincerity and how much you mean to him. But do not hope for it. If you believe in your religion, then definately you'll believe in that you'll recieve someone that's meant for you, open your heart and look around.
So much for now.
Cheers -
Dear MC,
It was after much thot tt I decided to reveal wat I'd written, so irrational wldn't haf been the appropriate word to describe it
Besides, I do agree wif wat Parn sez'd rgd'g tt bit. And it's our choice whether or Not to agree : ) Juz as u might Not & I wldn't criticise ur choice : )
Let's agree to disagree on this matter. No hard feelings, cheers!
FeowFeowOriginally posted by M©+square:Dear FeowFeow,
I think it's quite irrational to bring up the statement said by your ex to further support Parn's post.
Your ex might have might it at that moment when he said it.
It's good to have a good guy right now...
All the best!
Cheers -
i have to agree with wat boliao said. and to ur comments... hmm. if wat u say is really true then all female are w-h-o-r-e. just that they have not got the chance to be 1 yet. that is wat u meant rite?Originally posted by parn:They were not like that, but are truly capable of being like that. Those that are not like that yet simply do not have the opportunity to become like that...not fine enough to get into a relationship yet.
Guys hurt girls...and they will do so eventually. Never trust a guy if he ever promise you that he will NEVER do anything to hurt you...cos they will. And when they eventually does it to you, they are expecting you to understand them and let them off easy.
Relationship itself is a vicious cycle...and when a guy doesn't understand what kind of damage he is capable of doing to hurt the girl he has promised to love, he is still not capable of loving that girl yet.
And if a girl understands how she is able to control/trigger her guy's emotion, she is capable of loving her guy.
It's a give and take world...eventually it is still up to them if they are willing to learn more of their own role and the amount of effort they are using to learn...in order to make their relationship work out...which we often termed it as commitment.
It's amusing to hear that everytime when the opposite(highlighted in red) is the eventual outcome.
i got my fair share of broken relationship and i have seen alot of my friends get hurt in relationships. the way u generalize things only goes to show that u have not matured enough for a seriously commited relationship.