You know what..? You could just be right...? Some people are just not so good with expressing themselves... And your bf just main very well be one of them...?Originally posted by Vonderful:Dear all,
I've been with this guy for a month and he's a rather quiet guy... but somehow, he's freezing me... When i write letters to him, make him cards, buy him cookies, sweet talks him, he would always say i'm very bo liao...
i had told him that i get a little hurt when i make an effort to add sweetness and he ends up making me look all one sided... but he says he's not good at expressing himself...
I am a romantic person, i do not mind him not catching up with me, i know i have to accept the way he is... but i can't help but feel hurt.. can't take the feeling away...
His way of communicating is to keep banging me and it seems that i can never get a single compliment from him... i got myself a tan. and he says it's pretty ugly, but he has never said i was pretty when i was fairer.. get what i mean? All criticism... no compliments.. and i can say i'm rather above average looking... while i have men chasing my skirts... my boyfriend seems all disinterested in me... why get together if he has nothing nice to say about me? i just don't get it...
Should i continue to give in the relationship and stop calculating, or should i stop giving and see if he would do anything? I can say he does nothing for our bond... and he thinks that buying food for me and spending time with me twice a week is all he needs to do as a boyfriend...
Help me... i know i'm sounding petty here... but i really hope that he would help me work this relationship out... i really like him a lot... i don't want to give up but i'm not happy in the relationship seeing him so laid back and nonchalent...
Am i over reacting?
With regards,
Vonderful
Originally posted by Vonderful:Dear all,
I've been with this guy for a month and he's a rather quiet guy... but somehow, he's freezing me... When i write letters to him, make him cards, buy him cookies, sweet talks him, he would always say i'm very bo liao...
i had told him that i get a little hurt when i make an effort to add sweetness and he ends up making me look all one sided... but he says he's not good at expressing himself...
I am a romantic person, i do not mind him not catching up with me, i know i have to accept the way he is... but i can't help but feel hurt.. can't take the feeling away...
His way of communicating is to keep banging me and it seems that i can never get a single compliment from him... i got myself a tan. and he says it's pretty ugly, but he has never said i was pretty when i was fairer.. get what i mean? All criticism... no compliments.. and i can say i'm rather above average looking... while i have men chasing my skirts... my boyfriend seems all disinterested in me... why get together if he has nothing nice to say about me? i just don't get it...
Should i continue to give in the relationship and stop calculating, or should i stop giving and see if he would do anything? I can say he does nothing for our bond... and he thinks that buying food for me and spending time with me twice a week is all he needs to do as a boyfriend...
Help me... i know i'm sounding petty here... but i really hope that he would help me work this relationship out... i really like him a lot... i don't want to give up but i'm not happy in the relationship seeing him so laid back and nonchalent...
Am i over reacting?
With regards,
Vonderful
ah... its amazing how love can make people do the dumbest thing. We can advise, the final decision lies with u. Good luck.Originally posted by Vonderful:Dear Dzylim,
It's not my first relationship... but first time i feel this lonely in a relationship....
I've done it your way, but his reaction was something like it's the way he is... he doesn't think that it's a prob at all... i have tried not to call him, but he didn't call too. perhaps, it's not him... it's just that the feeling ain't there...Originally posted by icyprincess:Being too nice is not a very good thing sometimes. It makes people take you for granted.
So you have to learn to stand up for yourself sometimes and tell him that you do not like the way he is treating you. Don't be afraid to speak your mind just because you are scared to hurt him or the relationship. If you are unhappy about something in the relationship, tell him directly so that both of you can discuss it. There is no point in hiding stuff and making yourself more miserable that way. Plus he might think he is treating you the right way since you never complain and hence he will always think you are happy with the way things are going.
But are you really happy?
You need to be more assertive. Learn to stand up for your right and say what's on your mind straight to his face. And if he is treating you badly even after you have told him to treat you better, there is really no point in remaining in this relationship.
i.c.y
Since you already know that, why are you still with him?Originally posted by Vonderful:I've done it your way, but his reaction was something like it's the way he is... he doesn't think that it's a prob at all... i have tried not to call him, but he didn't call too. perhaps, it's not him... it's just that the feeling ain't there...
It's clear, isn't it? Just that all the bros and sis here are trying to be kind with their words... He doesn't love me... how would anyone bear to do to those they love the things he's doing to me...
i'm just weak... Mei you yong...