do u check your bf/gf's hp msgs?
-
It's not what you find, but your action which is gonna 'kill' you...Originally posted by mek:cos i heard my fren checks her bf's msgs duno is with or w/o his knowledge then jus thot in future will i do it... on one hand i think its shows distrust.. n i think i wont want to do it.. on the other hand being a very insecure person i would still have thots of doing it actually... -
ha thanks for the reply... i'm currently not in a r/s la... jus thot of it so i asked... cos i thot alot of ppl do tt but fr the replies here it seems that tts not the case...Originally posted by M©+square:By the way you're putting it.
I think you're thinking of reading yr boyfriend's sms without his knowledge. Insecurities and inferior self image affects this area of the mind like poison, desire to get light out of your partner's mysteries and darkside.
This act will usually end up - Even if he's clean, there is still poison in your mind to think he is not, the act is irresistable.
Hence propels us to approach like a thief, lurking into his privacy.
Destruction from this simple act creates ripples which will huant both parties. Breach of trust and lack of faith will arise as problems. Even if he has hanky panky smses in his hp and you caught it. Would you leave him? More like or not, you'll stay with him hence the cycle of the irresistable act and miserable relationship.
____________________________________________________
M©'s Advice:
Stick to your values in the relationship, do not let the hp intimidate you into dishonest approach to clear your doubts about your bf.
If there is really a need to find out what is in his sms, ask him. Gain open communication and trust. Clear things out when in doubt, especially when you are insecure about certain issues.
Your boyfriend should be ever ready to comfort you and assure that the relationship still goes strong.
Another point - How long have you been in this relationship?
Seems like you're affect by your friends action over your relationship. It's quite uncalled for.
Were there any changes in this relationship? Many times, it is not the big problems which destroys a relationship; subconciously the small issues or mistakes in a relationship.
Cheers
hmm ya i think its better to respect his privacy and he respect mine... -
ya lor think so too... wan to read oso read right infront of himOriginally posted by Devil1976:It's not what you find, but your action which is gonna 'kill' you...
-
you're not in a r/sOriginally posted by mek:ha thanks for the reply... i'm currently not in a r/s la... jus thot of it so i asked... cos i thot alot of ppl do tt but fr the replies here it seems that tts not the case...
hmm ya i think its better to respect his privacy and he respect mine...
This thread has proven, some people are just here purely for opinions, not real advise. -
cant post here for opinions?Originally posted by M©+square:you're not in a r/s
This thread has proven, some people are just here purely for opinions, not real advise. ok... -
Can lah....Originally posted by mek:cant post here for opinions? ok...
But next tarm give further info like if you're really facing this problem.
So that i won't give advice, instead i'll just give opinions(ss) lor. -
Originally posted by M©+square:Can lah....
But next tarm give further info like if you're really facing this problem.
So that i won't give advice, instead i'll just give opinions(ss) lor. 
Hahahhahahahahahhahaha!
/me pat pat MCsquare.
Cheers -
well, sometimes not that you cannot trust but there are cases of people who like to add "my dear", "darling" etc for fun in the sms, your partner may happen to see it and then that insecurity thing surface......
So best not to see anything.... -
actually I confessed that I do look at her sms-es and she does check on mine.. but I always do it in front of her and never behind her back. And usually for fun only.
I won't find it a betrayal of trust if she check my sms-es behind my back. I have nothing to hide.... and it shows that she cares about the relationship.... right???... if she don't give a damn... she will not bother to check. -
Good for you then. You're the minority who didn't mind this act.Originally posted by spencer99:actually I confessed that I do look at her sms-es and she does check on mine.. but I always do it in front of her and never behind her back. And usually for fun only.
I won't find it a betrayal of trust if she check my sms-es behind my back. I have nothing to hide.... and it shows that she cares about the relationship.... right???... if she don't give a damn... she will not bother to check.
-
Yeah... Might be better that way...?Originally posted by mek:ya lor think so too... wan to read oso read right infront of him
Then again, understand that not everybody's okay with that form of 'transparency' okay...? If he needs, gives him some space and privacy? In return, you shall expect the same form of respect from him yeah...? -
I've never seen.. i dun bother or care.. even if my gf forces me to see i also siam..
But i'm fiercely protective of my privacy n personal space.. many times she asked to see.. even tried to force her way to get her hands on my phone.. i didnt relent.. so.. it's a NO NO for me.. -
Actually unless you keep your hp with you at ALL times or use the PIN lock feature, how to ensure that your partner didn't check your sms es when your back is turned and you left the hp somewhere.
-
Trust.Originally posted by spencer99:Actually unless you keep your hp with you at ALL times or use the PIN lock feature, how to ensure that your partner didn't check your sms es when your back is turned and you left the hp somewhere. -
i wont say check...but sometimes i will take her hp and browse thru the msg...she also do tis to me...so nvm la...unless got some dark secret then duno liao...
-
I am guilty of this bad habit.
Like wat mc+sq say.. it seems like a poison.
I want to get out of it LEH... but.. the thing is hor.. i dont know how...
------ New to forum.. DUO DUO ZI JIAO -
peeping into his hp will always bring sadness.. sighhh~
-
cmon... if he/she is your bf/gf... I'm sure you can trust her, if not learn to trust each other...Afterall each one of you should have your own private space and its only normal for him/her to have friends of the opposite gender... A guy can have a gf yet have a buddy who's a female and they can hang out often...Similarly the girl can have a guy buddy and often goes out with him... However, both of them still share an intimate relationship and that's possible...
All rules above applies unless when your trust has been breeched once... -
hmmm problems do arise when the sense of security isnt there.. isnt it?Originally posted by fredex:cmon... if he/she is your bf/gf... I'm sure you can trust her, if not learn to trust each other...Afterall each one of you should have your own private space and its only normal for him/her to have friends of the opposite gender... A guy can have a gf yet have a buddy who's a female and they can hang out often...Similarly the girl can have a guy buddy and often goes out with him... However, both of them still share an intimate relationship and that's possible...
All rules above applies unless when your trust has been breeched once... -
i wont.. everyone needs privacy..Originally posted by mek:jus wondering if you ppl read ur partner's hp msgs... y do u or do not? is it a sign of distrust or insecurity
gf = not servant. she have the right to do what she wants.
and i will trust her not to do anything tat betrays this trust..
afte all a relationshipis about trust right? ^^ -
nope trust is veri impt......i would feel no privacy too if my partner checks on me
-
Me no hp