Urgent! Can anyone help? (Depression)
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hi there brownie,
couple of possible diagnosis, amongst which schizophrenia is perhaps most likely. do a research to find if the symptoms fit. ever watched A Beautiful Mind? Professor John Nash was suffering from those delusions as well, though i gota say hollywood glamourised it alot.
yes but anyway, sufferers of schizophrenia can be of any age, any profession, from any walk of life. knew of a girl who complained of symptoms similar to your friend's: she would imagine spies talking to her all the time, and it took everything in her to resist talking back to these voices.
causes of schizophrenia are not really known. depression is but one of these causes! many are trigged by trauma, chemical imbalances etc. so do seek professional help to sort our whatever underlying problems there may be
other possible diagnosis: borderline personality disorder. sufferers of BPD commonly also suffer from depression. do a google on this to find out more alright?
please get your friend to seek help. if she wants to avoid the stigma attached to IMH, try the psychiatric ward at NUH? or SGh? or private hospitals like Adams Road hospital?
PS: not a psychiatric nurse like you thought. just rather well-versed in this area
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like what the rest suggest, accompany her to do things she like. if she refused to go anywhere, and you have time to spare, go over to her place and accompany her to watch tv, or cook something.
if you cant be constantly ard, drop her an sms, or a call. make it short. say something like 'what you had for lunch?' 'want to go out sit at mac?' 'i want to go shop for shoes, can come along?'
my own experience tells tt when friends tries to be overly concerned i'll snap. if no one talks to me i'll snap too.. it is never easy to understand/handle a person with emotional issues.
but from what you say abt her rejecting her parents wish to give her a car, i'm looking at it as tt she is not feeling independant, but rather, she may feel she is not worth the gift.
jia you. i've never had a friend who has been thru this before, so i cant speak from a friend's perspective. =) -
Don't ever dare her in this way. Doing things in the hard approach is not going to solve things. Though you may be frustrated of consoling her, it is even terrible on her part to be kept reminded of her problem. Just treat her normally, don't keep reminding her to go to the doctor. Go for outings as per normal and observe how things turn out after some time.Originally posted by browniebaobao:I alrd told her that i dun look upon her as sick or watever. But since knowing that it might be a prob, then go and see lor..at least to have a peace of mind mah. I told her we care and love her, even her mum ask her to go see with me since i said i wana go with her. She juz dun want lor. I asked her she dun cherish her life isit? she said a little..wo bei qi dao mei hua shuo leh. Who can help u if u wana give up ur life? I even told her if she dun want to see, then i also dun care abt my prob liao, want die, die together! Poo!!!
Good luck. -
Originally posted by Demolition:Go and watch the movie "White Noise" with you buddy and the mystery will be sloved.
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be with her more, dun stay at home, go watch movies, eat ice-cream (chocolates can made human happy), play arcade....
REMEMBER dun stay at home.
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Don't push her too hard...Originally posted by browniebaobao:Thank you everybody for the advice..
I kept asking her to go and see a doc, even said I will accompany her. yet she said she thinks she is perfectly normal. I tried to persuade her, what if one day the voices tell her to go kill herself and she heed? I dun want to lose a buddy, my fren lost a fren like that last year..due to depression, attempted suicides many times and finally jumped off her block and died on the spot. Terrible.
She said the reason she told me is to make me mentally prepared if one day anything happens to her and we will know why. So i said why wait till that day? Prevent it from happening! What if I know that I have a risk of getting cancer and yet I do nothing about it? Until it's at the terminal stage then I tell her that I'm going to die meh?
She is more stubborn than me. But knowing that she got depression, I can't be harsh to her. Haiz.
Meanwhile just treat her as a NORMAL FRIEND... I guess the 1st thing she needs is for people to view her as much as normal...
Given some time, she might just loosen up, open up and talk to you about the relevant issues... Have a mild approach when that happens....
Remember, just stay as FRIENDS 1st... It's sort of like a platform for her now... -
Originally posted by gurlndignant:hi there brownie,
couple of possible diagnosis, amongst which schizophrenia is perhaps most likely. do a research to find if the symptoms fit. ever watched A Beautiful Mind? Professor John Nash was suffering from those delusions as well, though i gota say hollywood glamourised it alot.
yes but anyway, sufferers of schizophrenia can be of any age, any profession, from any walk of life. knew of a girl who complained of symptoms similar to your friend's: she would imagine spies talking to her all the time, and it took everything in her to resist talking back to these voices.
causes of schizophrenia are not really known. depression is but one of these causes! many are trigged by trauma, chemical imbalances etc. so do seek professional help to sort our whatever underlying problems there may be
other possible diagnosis: borderline personality disorder. sufferers of BPD commonly also suffer from depression. do a google on this to find out more alright?
please get your friend to seek help. if she wants to avoid the stigma attached to IMH, try the psychiatric ward at NUH? or SGh? or private hospitals like Adams Road hospital?
PS: not a psychiatric nurse like you thought. just rather well-versed in this area
Thank you gurlndignant for the advice. No. did not watch .
I understand that she ever seen a doc..tho i duno when. Only found out from her that the doc is no longer around (
) which means she dun see a doc now ba. I know she got appointments at NUH also, but i think it's more of a female problem and not some psychiatric ward. I will try to persuade her to go NUH psychiatric ward.
Checked up the BPO, but there are not many info online...hmm..
"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior."
She minds a lot about her image, always try to be pretty dressed up, she is also a very organised person, her room is always tidy, not a single thing laying around. She dun throw tantrum like that, in fact she is easy going and very forgiving..but if it's big quarrels, she might really take days to cool down. I know her relationships are not very stable. She said it's due to the first r/s she had..she always try to make her bf think she she dun love him, a little bit of imperfection will turn her off and she will want a break up and won't regret. Perhaps that is one of the characteristics of Pisecs...she also feels that she will never settle down.
I dun meet her often, not to mention do things together and make her happy. Just like yesterday, she asked to meet me on wed and then minutes later, she said won't meet me liao. Even if I go to the shopping Mall near her home, she would also be reluctant to meet me. It's very hard to get her out of her home. I asked whether she could stop her driving lessons for the time being, she said she enjoy driving, and she tend to speed..I dun want any accident to happen lor..
How should I persuade her? Her mum also asked her to see a doc. But she dun heed. What can we do? -
Originally posted by liyan:like what the rest suggest, accompany her to do things she like. if she refused to go anywhere, and you have time to spare, go over to her place and accompany her to watch tv, or cook something.
if you cant be constantly ard, drop her an sms, or a call. make it short. say something like 'what you had for lunch?' 'want to go out sit at mac?' 'i want to go shop for shoes, can come along?'
my own experience tells tt when friends tries to be overly concerned i'll snap. if no one talks to me i'll snap too.. it is never easy to understand/handle a person with emotional issues.
but from what you say abt her rejecting her parents wish to give her a car, i'm looking at it as tt she is not feeling independant, but rather, she may feel she is not worth the gift.
jia you. i've never had a friend who has been thru this before, so i cant speak from a friend's perspective. =)
We sms each other everyday. I always ask her to go out with me or a meet up, even if I need to travel all the way to the shopping mall near her house. But she always reject me or stood me up..most of the times lor. We hardly meet up, she said she takes breakfast at home, skip lunch and eat dinner at home, so I could hardly meet her for a meal as well you see..
Regarding the car, she told me she is not that stupid to take up that offer, she said her parents want her to be independent, in other words want her to die, coz she need to slog and pay for the car in a long run.
And ya, I've never been to her place. Strange right? She shifted home since 1997 and I've never even been to her place once. I always asked why her frens can go, I cannot? She said she wants to be a good host, with things to entertain me etc. I said I dun mind all these, I'm not an outsider, we are so close, and do away with those stuff. But she suggested we buy a flat and stay together in the future if we are both still single by then.Originally posted by Ayla:Don't ever dare her in this way. Doing things in the hard approach is not going to solve things. Though you may be frustrated of consoling her, it is even terrible on her part to be kept reminded of her problem. Just treat her normally, don't keep reminding her to go to the doctor. Go for outings as per normal and observe how things turn out after some time.
Good luck.
I din want to dare her also lor. Even she dun care about herself, at least dun make the people around her worry mah. Outings? Like I mentioned, it's very hard to get her out. The last time I met her was in January, at my father's wake. -
Originally posted by nightzip:be with her more, dun stay at home, go watch movies, eat ice-cream (chocolates can made human happy), play arcade....
REMEMBER dun stay at home.
She always says he is on a diet, dun like ice cream, dun like to take chocolates.
Dun stay at home? I'm not capable of asking her out, not even going to the shopping mall near her home lor. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Don't push her too hard...
Meanwhile just treat her as a NORMAL FRIEND... I guess the 1st thing she needs is for people to view her as much as normal...
Given some time, she might just loosen up, open up and talk to you about the relevant issues... Have a mild approach when that happens....
Remember, just stay as FRIENDS 1st... It's sort of like a platform for her now...
Looks like I really have to wait lor..but really can't help but to worry. Especially when keep telling me that she hear voices and she is currently having driving lessons. I'm really scared that accident will happen.
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Tell her family to bring her to Woodbridge straight away.
Don't tell her in advance, just drive her there.
Normally a person suffering from hallucination won't admit she is sick.
It is very common nowadays and it can be treated.
Don't delay or it will get worst. -
Originally posted by gerrykoh:Tell her family to bring her to Woodbridge straight away.
Don't tell her in advance, just drive her there.
Normally a person suffering from hallucination won't admit she is sick.
It is very common nowadays and it can be treated.
Don't delay or it will get worst.
Doing this will only make her hate us and lose her trust. -
u ask her liao..tell her once or twice she dun listen then dun bother so much.. else at this rate u goin, u urself become the one kena depression loh...Even as frenz...can only do so much nia. Dun let urself become to caught up and affect ur own life ba.Originally posted by browniebaobao:I alrd told her that i dun look upon her as sick or watever. But since knowing that it might be a prob, then go and see lor..at least to have a peace of mind mah. I told her we care and love her, even her mum ask her to go see with me since i said i wana go with her. She juz dun want lor. I asked her she dun cherish her life isit? she said a little..wo bei qi dao mei hua shuo leh. Who can help u if u wana give up ur life? I even told her if she dun want to see, then i also dun care abt my prob liao, want die, die together! Poo!!! -
Yes. Not advisable act normally.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
Doing this will only make her hate us and lose her trust. -
In her condition? Driving is probably NOT advisable.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
Looks like I really have to wait lor..but really can't help but to worry. Especially when keep telling me that she hear voices and she is currently having driving lessons. I'm really scared that accident will happen.
Is she often calm about the hallucinations? Or would she just break into hysteria suddenly?
Why not try filling her up with other safer activities instead? How about her parents? Do they know about her condition? Are they not stopping her from driving? -
What's the alternative?Originally posted by browniebaobao:
Doing this will only make her hate us and lose her trust. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:In her condition? Driving is probably NOT advisable.
Is she often calm about the hallucinations? Or would she just break into hysteria suddenly?
Why not try filling her up with other safer activities instead? How about her parents? Do they know about her condition? Are they not stopping her from driving?
Nope. If she never tell me and her mum, we would never know. And she told us it happened many years ago also.
She told me she din tell her mum as much as I do, but she told her mum that I want to accompany her to see a doc. Her mum asked her to go also, since I'm willing to go with her. But she dun want. I dun think her will ask her to stop driving coz I dun think she knows about this illness, and so duno the seriousness of this matter. Like I said, she is very stubborn. No one can stop her from what she wants to do. Last time her mum din allow her to go out with other guys, and so she always lied that she was going out with me... -
Originally posted by ilovemyrolex:What's the alternative?
make her go see a doc on her wish lor. But I really duno how. -
well, for starters, why not pass her one of those books in the market about schizophrenia?Originally posted by browniebaobao:
make her go see a doc on her wish lor. But I really duno how.
at least that would let her know more about this illness and convince her she is not suffering from some peculiar disease. it will also let her know there is no shame in seeking help.
if she is adamant about seeking help because of fear of hospital records, tell her she can see consultants in private practice. pm me if you need any contacts alright?
just want to let you know, i hope she appreciates all that you are doing. i think what you're doing is amazing. =) dont give up trying to help your friend ok? -
Originally posted by gurlndignant:well, for starters, why not pass her one of those books in the market about schizophrenia?
at least that would let her know more about this illness and convince her she is not suffering from some peculiar disease. it will also let her know there is no shame in seeking help.
if she is adamant about seeking help because of fear of hospital records, tell her she can see consultants in private practice. pm me if you need any contacts alright?
just want to let you know, i hope she appreciates all that you are doing. i think what you're doing is amazing. =) dont give up trying to help your friend ok?
i've done research on the website and showed her whatever I have found. She din want to read, so I highlighted the main points and summarized for her. She simply bo chup lor. I will go to bookstores and libraries to search for more information. Thank you gurlndignant.
Yes, I need some contacts, will pm you. Really appreciate your help. Thanks a lot!
I won't give up on her..but I'll be drained out if she dun listen. Haiz -
a person under depression normally has totally lost any hope or confidence, so it's much harder to get them to listen or see your care. From my own experience, i can only suggest to spend more time with her, try to boost her confidence/morale, and get her to see a doctor asap. Proper medication really helps greatly, but of course the best help is still friends and family. Give in to her if possible, so that she won't feel anymore negative than she already is.
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Originally posted by loneconfuser:a person under depression normally has totally lost any hope or confidence, so it's much harder to get them to listen or see your care. From my own experience, i can only suggest to spend more time with her, try to boost her confidence/morale, and get her to see a doctor asap. Proper medication really helps greatly, but of course the best help is still friends and family. Give in to her if possible, so that she won't feel anymore negative than she already is.
Thanks. I wonder, by showing her more care and attention too obviously, will it make her feel that we treat her like a patient? -
erm...try not to be too obvious? I don't know your friend, so i can't judge how her respond would be, but when my friends made their care too obvious the last time, i didn't exactly give a very good respond, coz definitely will have the thinking like "why suddenly so nice? what motives are there?"Originally posted by browniebaobao:
Thanks. I wonder, by showing her more care and attention too obviously, will it make her feel that we treat her like a patient?
Maybe try to just ask her out as often as you do normally, to places that she usually love going to -
If she sees a doctor, request for an EEG test.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
Nope. If she never tell me and her mum, we would never know. And she told us it happened many years ago also.
She told me she din tell her mum as much as I do, but she told her mum that I want to accompany her to see a doc. Her mum asked her to go also, since I'm willing to go with her. But she dun want. I dun think her will ask her to stop driving coz I dun think she knows about this illness, and so duno the seriousness of this matter. Like I said, she is very stubborn. No one can stop her from what she wants to do. Last time her mum din allow her to go out with other guys, and so she always lied that she was going out with me...
Slowly try to convince her that things are okay and can continue to be ok... Only if she allows people to help her... Remember... Mild approach... -
the best way to cure depression is to take some panadol and go to sleep