jus my stupid bf and me..
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hi. uh ok. my bf and i are studyin in the same school but different class. we are geog students, and only that subject's period then we same class. and in my OWN form class (nt geog class), i've got a few close GUY friends.. i always hang around with them.. my bf doesnt like me to be with them.. but i don like to be alone, and im quite talkative too.. my best girl pal jus transferred sch becos of some reasons, then those guys in my class are the only ones i can get along well with..
sighs.. and one of the guys, IM REALLY REALLY close to him. i have never ever harboured any thoughts on him before. but everyone sees us as a couple i dunno why. my bf sometimes get pissed becos of this too. but the 2 of them are close frens. i dunno why he doesnt trust me with him.
jus yesterday, we had geog lesson.. my bf's class hasn't arrived yet, my class reached first. i was talkin to my closest guy fren.. then my bf came in, i swear i really didnt see him!! so i jus carried on chattin with that guy fren of mine. awhile later when i saw my bf, he gave me the "sighs-chatting-with-guys-again" look.
later that night, we smsed and quarreled bcos of this. he said i was unreasonable, cos whenever i see him with girls around, i would get pissed and stuffs. yea i admit im quite sensitive.. but the girls he always talk to.. one of them used to be his EX. im jus after her. how can i not worry?? somemore my bf got bad reputation one.. he's a well known flirt.. sighs. and when he sees me with guys around, its "only friends"..
then during our sms quarrel, he said he needed to cool down, and asked me not to contact him for the next few days, or even a whole week. i was really sad.. and angry.. perhaps both. i dunno how to describe.. sighs.. i really don get it.. whats there to cool?
i couldnt sleep.. jus kept cryin for the night.. i cant help but kept thinking that this r/s is really going to end.. he used to msg me every morning.. but i didnt receive his sms this morning.. sighs.. i wanted to msg him sayin how much i miss him, but he said not to contact him..
after school today, he msged me and said he couldnt take it anymore; he missed me alot and he apologised. i was so damn happy. i tot everything is startin to look good again, and we could be as loving as the past.. but now his smses seems to be so cold.. i was thinking if we couldnt be like the past.. whats the point of being together..
but.. after yesterday.. a whole night of quarrelling.. a whole day nvr receive his smses.. i felt really lost and sad.. i cried in class.. i cant lose him.. i don wanna lose him.. but i really dunno wat to do now.. i know i still do love him..
we're both very sensitive.. but i really really do get along well with guys much better.. the girls in my class are soooo bitchy. there's only a few girls whom i get better along with.. but we dont have so much to talk about.. sighs.. shld i really give up my frens becos of him?? or if he still cant accept it.. then.. i guess thats it?? sighs..
sighs, there's alot more to our r/s.. if i continue, it'll be so long.. lol. i'll stop here. sorry.. maybe my story quite boring or childish.. but.. i really dunno who else i can turn to.. but only to rant out everything here.. sorry.. -
Have a good talk with him. That usually solves all problems.
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still in sec sch?
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Okie point noted.Originally posted by potatostick:hi. uh ok. my bf and i are studyin in the same school but different class. we are geog students, and only that subject's period then we same class. and in my OWN form class (nt geog class), i've got a few close GUY friends.. i always hang around with them.. my bf doesnt like me to be with them.. but i don like to be alone, and im quite talkative too.. my best girl pal jus transferred sch becos of some reasons, then those guys in my class are the only ones i can get along well with..
sighs.. and one of the guys, IM REALLY REALLY close to him. i have never ever harboured any thoughts on him before. but everyone sees us as a couple i dunno why. my bf sometimes get pissed becos of this too. but the 2 of them are close frens. i dunno why he doesnt trust me with him.
jus yesterday, we had geog lesson.. my bf's class hasn't arrived yet, my class reached first. i was talkin to my closest guy fren.. then my bf came in, i swear i really didnt see him!! so i jus carried on chattin with that guy fren of mine. awhile later when i saw my bf, he gave me the "sighs-chatting-with-guys-again" look.
later that night, we smsed and quarreled bcos of this. he said i was unreasonable, cos whenever i see him with girls around, i would get pissed and stuffs. yea i admit im quite sensitive.. but the girls he always talk to.. one of them used to be his EX. im jus after her. how can i not worry?? somemore my bf got bad reputation one.. he's a well known flirt.. sighs. and when he sees me with guys around, its "only friends"..
then during our sms quarrel, he said he needed to cool down, and asked me not to contact him for the next few days, or even a whole week. i was really sad.. and angry.. perhaps both. i dunno how to describe.. sighs.. i really don get it.. whats there to cool?
i couldnt sleep.. jus kept cryin for the night.. i cant help but kept thinking that this r/s is really going to end.. he used to msg me every morning.. but i didnt receive his sms this morning.. sighs.. i wanted to msg him sayin how much i miss him, but he said not to contact him..
after school today, he msged me and said he couldnt take it anymore; he missed me alot and he apologised. i was so damn happy. i tot everything is startin to look good again, and we could be as loving as the past.. but now his smses seems to be so cold.. i was thinking if we couldnt be like the past.. whats the point of being together..
but.. after yesterday.. a whole night of quarrelling.. a whole day nvr receive his smses.. i felt really lost and sad.. i cried in class.. i cant lose him.. i don wanna lose him.. but i really dunno wat to do now.. i know i still do love him..
we're both very sensitive.. but i really really do get along well with guys much better.. the girls in my class are soooo bitchy. there's only a few girls whom i get better along with.. but we dont have so much to talk about.. sighs.. shld i really give up my frens becos of him?? or if he still cant accept it.. then.. i guess thats it?? sighs..
sighs, there's alot more to our r/s.. if i continue, it'll be so long.. lol. i'll stop here. sorry.. maybe my story quite boring or childish.. but.. i really dunno who else i can turn to.. but only to rant out everything here.. sorry..
Welcome! You can rant everything and anytime you want here.
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You already called him stupid. What can I say more? Do you love him more or hate him more? Your call.
Love cannot be compared. Once you start comparing it doesnt ends. It takes only a rumour to create a rift between you two since you dont even know how to trust him. Learn to make allowances for breathing space instead of drawing lines of how he/she is supposed to be, what he supposed to be. If you wanna love him, accept him as what he is instead of forcing him to accept your ideologies.
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Originally posted by Nelstar:You already called him stupid. What can I say more? Do you love him more or hate him more? Your call.
Love cannot be compared. Once you start comparing it doesnt ends. It takes only a rumour to create a rift between you two since you dont even know how to trust him. Learn to make allowances for breathing space instead of drawing lines of how he/she is supposed to be, what he supposed to be. If you wanna love him, accept him as what he is instead of forcing him to accept your ideologies. -
First, hes being a little too overprotective into thinking that the guys that you are talking to are going to steal you from him
Second, you should also try not to be too sensitive when he talks to girls.
Believe in faith? -
i believe u r too young to talk about love. i understand that feelings cannot be controlled and if they come.. they come..
i understand that u think u "love" him. do u see ur future together? can u see the both of u together say 5 yrs down the road? 10 yrs? how about when ur 30?
let it cool. if its meant to be... u cool off 10 yrs oso will come back.. if its not... 1 day dun see his or ur heart can be stolen away liao.. u still got plenty more growing to do and experiences to experience..
to the traditional old me.. i say.. study first.. and step into/continue the r/s if u feel u can balance it.
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study first la
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Have a nice talk with him. This will cool things down.
Then bring him in to your group. And he will not feel suspecious.
If this can't solve the problem. You will have to find your Math teacher to solve the "equation" for you.
Actually, It this don't help. Don't recommend you to continue.
Just another advice.
Primary: Study > relationship
Secondary: Study >= relationship
Uni : Study = relationship
.... : Study < relationship
That a math answer.
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May I say that age has little bearing on r/s but it's the maturity to handle it that matters? After all, I have a relationship blossomed into marriage within my family from sec onwards.
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I think you should be fair to him also lah... Both of you have the same problems... you have close male friends. He has close female friends. When you talk to your male friends, you expect him to believe you that there's nothing going on between you and the other guy. Same for him. When he talks to other girls, he expects you to trust that those are just normal friends.
No one is in an absolute correct position. So just sit down and sort things out nicely with each other. If you can't believe him, don't expect him to believe you. If you can't give up all those guy friends for him, then don't expect him to give up all those female friends for you.
Give and take. Relationship is all about learning how to accept each other for who he/she is. -
Originally posted by potatostick:
To rephrase an old platitude:
he said i was unreasonable, cos whenever i see him with girls around, i would get pissed and stuffs. yea i admit im quite sensitive.. but the girls he always talk to.. one of them used to be his EX. im jus after her. how can i not worry?? somemore my bf got bad reputation one.. he's a well known flirt.. sighs.
"Don't do unto your partner what you wouldn't want him to do unto you."
If you don't trust your boyfriend enough to let him be with other girls, wouldn't it be unreasonable to expect him to trust you enough when you're with other guys? It is hard to imagine any relationship that can work without a comfortable level of trust between both parties.
Since you know seeing you with other guys makes him uncomfortable (which may also mean he cares about you), as his girlfriend, you should try to be more considerate of his feelings. Discuss this calmly with him. If he can't accept such behaviour from you, then it is up to you to decide whether he is right person for you.
Most misunderstandings can be avoided if one party tried putting himself/herself in the other person's shoes first before doing or saying anything. Good luck. -
This is a fantastic postOriginally posted by Tuatau:To rephrase an old platitude:
"Don't do unto your partner what you wouldn't want him to do unto you."
If you don't trust your boyfriend enough to let him be with other girls, wouldn't it be unreasonable to expect him to trust you enough when you're with other guys? It is hard to imagine any relationship that can work without a comfortable level of trust between both parties.
Since you know seeing you with other guys makes him uncomfortable (which may also mean he cares about you), as his girlfriend, you should try to be more considerate of his feelings. Discuss this calmly with him. If he can't accept such behaviour from you, then it is up to you to decide whether he is right person for you.
Most misunderstandings can be avoided if one party tried putting himself/herself in the other person's shoes first before doing or saying anything. Good luck.
In layman terms, if u don like wat he do to you, you don do back the same to him..
u must understand, wat he sees in you, and wat u see in him is exactly the same prob
why not u all haf a nice talk over it and see if u all can come to any mutual settlement
if u all juz drag and drag, it won do u all any good
and if u all cannot have a basic level of trust and respect what the point of being together
just a quote from Master Yun ( cant rem the exact words thou )
Without the soul, the body is dead
without the right love, the r/s is empty
have a good thought abt it yeah.. -
once a relationship becomes too exclusive and alienates you from your friends, i feel you ought to examine it carefully for such alienation and exclusion serve to stagnate you.
and who says a BOYfriend should have the right to control you or make u feel inhibited?
has he given a promise/oath to marry you?
why make needless and senseless sacrifices just for the rush of feelings/emotion in a relationship
i know it sounds harsh... but somehow i feel compelled to give advise for i have the feeling you are still rather young.
one step perhaps is to be completely honest to him about your needs. people all needs friends. friends are there to help you whenever the boyfriend is not around. its not like the boyfriend will be there for you no matter what?
just draw and DO DRAW the line where an investment of emotion have to be made for that friend. in a way, you will gain his trust....
and open both your perspective on what's the right thing to do.
and your friends will appreciate your maturity and honesty too. try to include your boyfriend into your conversations too. it'll make them know where you stand... that's as a friend and classmate -
Your story summarized: Both you n ur bf feel insecure when each of you mingle with friends and close friends of the opposite sex. You often quarrel over this matter. So how can you maintain your relationship with your guy friends and at the same time maintain a loving relationship with him?Originally posted by potatostick:hi. uh ok. my bf and i are studyin in the same school but different class. we are geog students, and only that subject's period then we same class. and in my OWN form class (nt geog class), i've got a few close GUY friends.. i always hang around with them.. my bf doesnt like me to be with them.. but i don like to be alone, and im quite talkative too.. my best girl pal jus transferred sch becos of some reasons, then those guys in my class are the only ones i can get along well with..
sighs.. and one of the guys, IM REALLY REALLY close to him. i have never ever harboured any thoughts on him before. but everyone sees us as a couple i dunno why. my bf sometimes get pissed becos of this too. but the 2 of them are close frens. i dunno why he doesnt trust me with him.
jus yesterday, we had geog lesson.. my bf's class hasn't arrived yet, my class reached first. i was talkin to my closest guy fren.. then my bf came in, i swear i really didnt see him!! so i jus carried on chattin with that guy fren of mine. awhile later when i saw my bf, he gave me the "sighs-chatting-with-guys-again" look.
later that night, we smsed and quarreled bcos of this. he said i was unreasonable, cos whenever i see him with girls around, i would get pissed and stuffs. yea i admit im quite sensitive.. but the girls he always talk to.. one of them used to be his EX. im jus after her. how can i not worry?? somemore my bf got bad reputation one.. he's a well known flirt.. sighs. and when he sees me with guys around, its "only friends"..
then during our sms quarrel, he said he needed to cool down, and asked me not to contact him for the next few days, or even a whole week. i was really sad.. and angry.. perhaps both. i dunno how to describe.. sighs.. i really don get it.. whats there to cool?
i couldnt sleep.. jus kept cryin for the night.. i cant help but kept thinking that this r/s is really going to end.. he used to msg me every morning.. but i didnt receive his sms this morning.. sighs.. i wanted to msg him sayin how much i miss him, but he said not to contact him..
after school today, he msged me and said he couldnt take it anymore; he missed me alot and he apologised. i was so damn happy. i tot everything is startin to look good again, and we could be as loving as the past.. but now his smses seems to be so cold.. i was thinking if we couldnt be like the past.. whats the point of being together..
but.. after yesterday.. a whole night of quarrelling.. a whole day nvr receive his smses.. i felt really lost and sad.. i cried in class.. i cant lose him.. i don wanna lose him.. but i really dunno wat to do now.. i know i still do love him..
we're both very sensitive.. but i really really do get along well with guys much better.. the girls in my class are soooo bitchy. there's only a few girls whom i get better along with.. but we dont have so much to talk about.. sighs.. shld i really give up my frens becos of him?? or if he still cant accept it.. then.. i guess thats it?? sighs..
sighs, there's alot more to our r/s.. if i continue, it'll be so long.. lol. i'll stop here. sorry.. maybe my story quite boring or childish.. but.. i really dunno who else i can turn to.. but only to rant out everything here.. sorry..
I read the other posts and I guess I'll try not to repeat any advices that were mentioned above.
You mentioned that that those guy friends in your class are close to you. Do they know the plight that you're going through with your boyfriend? This is my first suggestion to you, and i hope this will be the most useful and successful solution to your problem.
Let your close guy friends know what you are going through with your bf. Ask them to help you by being more friendly to your bf, by smiling and exchanging greetings. This will create a mutual understanding btw your bf n them, that "hey, we're really good friends of ur gf, we have no intention of pulling her away from you". Create that sense of trust btw ur bf n ur friends so that he will feel more comfortable when you hang around with them.
Then, on your part, do not hide anything between you and your bf about your close guy friends. Let him know how you really feel about those friends of yours, not literally though. Share those amusing moments, jokes and situations with your close guy friends with him. Let him know that you find them very fun to mingle with, clearly indicate to him that there are no feelings btw u n them, and why wont those feeling develop (eg, He's too short for me, i dont like the mole on his face, he looks dumb when he eats).
Consider this solution. If you have doubts that it might work, let me know, and I'll work another one for you. Similarly, if you need more elaborations, let me know as well. *Cheers* -
+1Originally posted by kopiosatu:study first la -
This may be a good suggestion but you got to be very tactful. Take care of your boy's ego and how your friends may convey the 'message'. If done it the wrong way, your bf might feel upset with you for 'complaining' to your friends about his possessiveness.Originally posted by ivan-jz:Let your close guy friends know what you are going through with your bf. Ask them to help you by being more friendly to your bf, by smiling and exchanging greetings. This will create a mutual understanding btw your bf n them, that "hey, we're really good friends of ur gf, we have no intention of pulling her away from you". Create that sense of trust btw ur bf n ur friends so that he will feel more comfortable when you hang around with them. -
my best suggestion is for u 2 to break off until both of u are matured enough to start a serious relationship. Its obvious that both of u are still "Kids". don say u are not cos u are behaving as 1.
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Both of u are still so immature. Being in a r/s doesn't mean u cut off from friends. U can still go out in groups.
Have more trust in each other. It is alright for him to chat with his ex.
He has chosen u, have more faith in yourself.
If u don't like someone controlling u, then u are not ready for a r/s. -
agreeOriginally posted by gerrykoh:Both of u are still so immature. Being in a r/s doesn't mean u cut off from friends. U can still go out in groups.
Have more trust in each other. It is alright for him to chat with his ex.
He has chosen u, have more faith in yourself.
If u don't like someone controlling u, then u are not ready for a r/s. -
Yep yep. But we cant deny the fact that many couples are experiencing this problem of trust as well, even if they are much older.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Both of u are still so immature. Being in a r/s doesn't mean u cut off from friends. U can still go out in groups.
Have more trust in each other. It is alright for him to chat with his ex.
He has chosen u, have more faith in yourself.
If u don't like someone controlling u, then u are not ready for a r/s.
That is why it is important for either the guy or the gal to have initiative and find a way to solve their trust issue.
And I've realised that nowadays younger kids are always boasting off the number of ex-gfs/ex-bfs they have. Moreover, it is quite common for a sec sch gal to have more than 30 r/s during their sch days. Hope you're not one of them. What I really find dumb, is that they never learn from their experiences. They just want to accumulate those numbers, for the sake of it. -
Ok, i'm exagerating. It is quite common for a sec sch gal to have more than 10 r/s during their sch days.Originally posted by ivan-jz:Moreover, it is quite common for a sec sch gal to have more than 30 r/s during their sch days. Hope you're not one of them. What I really find dumb, is that they never learn from their experiences. They just want to accumulate those numbers, for the sake of it.
(cuz i once eavedropped and hear this sec sch girl have more than 50 r/s) -
realise it is a adolescence's passing phrase.Originally posted by ivan-jz:Ok, i'm exagerating. It is quite common for a sec sch gal to have more than 10 r/s during their sch days.
(cuz i once eavedropped and hear this sec sch girl have more than 50 r/s)
It is easier to make sense out of it. -
pototastick, from wad i read from ur post. i think u are still a sec school student. at most sec4. right?
study lah. come on! there are many gd guys ard