No reply from girl, why lei?
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Hi..can someone advice me please...
Here is the story;
Met this girl for the first time had a cuppa and everything went well, i did experess my interest to her during and after our meet. Perhaps she could not handle the pressure but the next day no more reply from her. It has been three days already and counting.
Before anyone decides to give advice to me here are the facts.
1) She said the meet was nice and interesting and she is sincere i believed that
2) She is 36 and kinda of traditional so perhaps i might have come across as too aggressive by expressing myself to her
3) I believe she is interested in me from her body language etc
4) She does not mind that i am 5 years younger than me
5)Everything seemed cool
I sent her some sms and an email asking her to tell me if she is no longer keen so i can move on, but also no reply from her. She does not seem like the type that would stay silent and seems she is older she should be able to tell me straight or at least say the usual stuff, to indicate if she is not interested.
So being optimistic, i am thinking, perhaps
1)_she is thinking something?
2) Insecure?
3) Not into me but enjoying the attention?
4) The type that stay silent and keep ignoring till i give up?
What What What?
Some of the experts here pls advice...i cant believe she would not at least indicate her preference....what is happening?
So frustrating -
i tink u kind of like forcing her to 'confess'
maybe she interested in u.. but she girl leh. how to say "ya i m" -
I just want to know what is happening lei.
She never reply to any sms or emali or answer my calls? -
u are 5 years younger or she is 5 years younger?
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u prolly too pushy liao she polite onli tell u nice actually inside veri not happy so avoid u lor. simple. got interest wan will answer u wan. either that she suddenly lost her mobile (cannot receive call and sms) and also lost the usage of computer (no receive email) lor. hahah. u see ah..which wan more ko-neng dai-ji leh?
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Well yeah i noe i was too pushy..so sought of maybe turned her off. Shits....
Well she is older than me by 5 years.
I kow perhaps she is being nice by avoiding me...but i just want to slavage this situation....how too?
I was thinking maybe sending her some lilies or flowers this coming week...see if that will jolt a response from her.
I know she was keen, but perhaps of my pushiness she must have got turn off.
So any advice? -
wait till she call you
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Originally posted by clarion:
No expert myself, but here's what I think.
1) She said the meet was nice and interesting and she is sincere i believed that
2) She is 36 and kinda of traditional so perhaps i might have come across as too aggressive by expressing myself to her
3) I believe she is interested in me from her body language etc
4) She does not mind that i am 5 years younger than me
5)Everything seemed cool
I sent her some sms and an email asking her to tell me if she is no longer keen so i can move on, but also no reply from her. She does not seem like the type that would stay silent and seems she is older she should be able to tell me straight or at least say the usual stuff, to indicate if she is not interested.
So being optimistic, i am thinking, perhaps
1)_she is thinking something?
2) Insecure?
3) Not into me but enjoying the attention?
4) The type that stay silent and keep ignoring till i give up?
You sound very mature in your analysis, but appear too practical in that you do not want to waste too much time in the 'pursuit' phase. A lady loves to be chased -- cutting to the chase makes her feel like she's some kind of 'lelong' goods on sale. Expressing your interest to develop the relationship further on the first date may be cost- and time-efficient, but a tad too intimidating for most ladies to accept, especially for the traditional-minded type like this lady whom you're interested in.
Put yourself in the shoes of this lady. Should I say "yes" and risk making myself sound very 'desperate' in front of this man? Should I say "no" and risk losing this man who seems decent enough to be a prospective partner? Both options don't seem appealing, so I'd rather choose the safest way out and keep mum instead.
If I were you, I'd send her a message by SMS or email and let her know I understand I've been slightly aggressive (glad you know it yourself) in pushing the friendship and would give her some time to know me better first. Ask her if she would continue to be your friend -- just friend (emphasize) -- and let her know you would be calling her to ask her out again for dinner or movie a few days later. (Call -- it is a more sincere form of invitation.) This way, you'd be giving her some relief space and remember, you don't want to chase the "prey" away (wrong choice of words perhaps).
You certainly made the scenario sound optimistic, and with your maturity in thought and your confidence in action, I'm optimistic of the outcome as well. Good "hunting".
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Hiya, you are spot on in the analysis...i always make this blunder...screwed up big time .. i tend to like to cut to the chase when doing things. I am sincere but as you say i seem to have rushed too much into this situationOriginally posted by Tuatau:No expert myself, but here's what I think.
You sound very mature in your analysis, but appear too practical in that you do not want to waste too much time in the 'pursuit' phase. A lady loves to be chased -- cutting to the chase makes her feel like she's some kind of 'lelong' goods on sale. Expressing your interest to develop the relationship further on the first date may be cost- and time-efficient, but a tad too intimidating for most ladies to accept, especially for the traditional-minded type like this lady whom you're interested in.
Put yourself in the shoes of this lady. Should I say "yes" and risk making myself sound very 'desperate' in front of this man? Should I say "no" and risk losing this man who seems decent enough to be a prospective partner? Both options don't seem appealing, so I'd rather choose the safest way out and keep mum instead.
If I were you, I'd send her a message by SMS or email and let her know I understand I've been slightly aggressive (glad you know it yourself) in pushing the friendship and would give her some time to know me better first. Ask her if she would continue to be your friend -- just friend (emphasize) -- and let her know you would be calling her to ask her out again for dinner or movie a few days later. (Call -- it is a more sincere form of invitation.) This way, you'd be giving her some relief space and remember, you don't want to chase the "prey" away (wrong choice of words perhaps).
You certainly made the scenario sound optimistic, and with your maturity in thought and your confidence in action, I'm optimistic of the outcome as well. Good "hunting".
The problem is i have already sent her two emails and apologixing for my rashness and expressing my friendship proposal, but till now she has not responded.
So i guess i decided i must somehow, use juie zhao and sent her flowers to garner a reaction...if she is irritated perhaps everything will go south, but if she is moved then she might start responding again.....
Tua tau, your words have managed to put all my jumbled thoughts into perpective...thanks for your encouragement, look forward to your further ananlysis.
Cheers -
That is the advice of many of my friends too..Originally posted by Matthew Lim Li Hao:wait till she call you
But i am worried because this girl is in experienced with relationships...having had only one bf in all her 36years and for a short duration of 2 years only.
So if she is inexperienced and dun know how to handle...i will be waiting forever right? -
Oh one more thing, last night when i called her HP it was off...that is not good siah...omen, hint.
But i refuse to give up, i have met many girls in my journey through life and i been around long enough to know what type of girl i seek...not sure if it is vice versa for her, but she has a very aggreeable nature and very chin chai personality and not particularly fussy like the normal gals.... -
wth only one meeting and your like that? if it's me i run far away liao ah. Guys shouldn't act too too interested. such a turn off
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Then how she i act disinterested?Originally posted by cutepixie:wth only one meeting and your like that? if it's me i run far away liao ah. Guys shouldn't act too too interested. such a turn off
I dun think i would like to play this kind of games.... -
only one thing to say: women are hard to comprehend
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You dun play she wanna play how???Originally posted by clarion:Then how she i act disinterested?
I dun think i would like to play this kind of games.... -
meet first time nia asking for answer, and telling her u interested in her..of cos she siam u la... scaring ppl off le ba.
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+1Originally posted by xking:meet first time nia asking for answer, and telling her u interested in her..of cos she siam u la... scaring ppl off le ba. -
I say u blew it big time.
Women at this age are very conscious.
You should be more sensitive to that.
She may just want to be a friend first but instead protray herself as 'being desperate' in your eyes. A 'easy targret'?
Furthermore, becuase of the age gap, she might doubt your sincererity - taking note of the point I mentioned above.
Fast friends, yes. But anything more than that, she has to think harder & longer. Remember that she's 36.
Go slow & easy on her - if you still stands a chance. -
cuz.
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is she still in town or could something hav happened to her? maybe coz of tat she din not see ur sms & email to reply to u at all?
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She is sitll in town, seen her on MSN...
See thats the problem...i figure, she might still be interested if not she would have deleted or blocked me from MSN right?
Instead she is still there with online status...sent her a few messages i am sure she got it through MSN but no reply..
Wierd huh -
I know stupid...me....supposed long time never see someone that i like so kan cheong duh!Originally posted by xking:meet first time nia asking for answer, and telling her u interested in her..of cos she siam u la... scaring ppl off le ba.
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Thanks for your input....i do know that girls her age simply cant afford to make mistakes as the time limitation is there. She did indicated that she was looking for a partner with a view of having a family...si i guess she might not want to waste time on variablesOriginally posted by Magnus:I say u blew it big time.
Women at this age are very conscious.
You should be more sensitive to that.
She may just want to be a friend first but instead protray herself as 'being desperate' in your eyes. A 'easy targret'?
Furthermore, becuase of the age gap, she might doubt your sincererity - taking note of the point I mentioned above.
Fast friends, yes. But anything more than that, she has to think harder & longer. Remember that she's 36.
Go slow & easy on her - if you still stands a chance. -
got experience no experience still got a mind wat. she dun call u means she dun wanna talk to u lor. simple la. how many calls u need to send without a reply to get the rejection? some chabo like to do dis wan...purposely no receive.Originally posted by clarion:That is the advice of many of my friends too..
But i am worried because this girl is in experienced with relationships...having had only one bf in all her 36years and for a short duration of 2 years only.
So if she is inexperienced and dun know how to handle...i will be waiting forever right? -
I am planning to send her a bouquet of flowers to her office with a friendship note perhaps on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Is that a good idea to let her know my sincerity? Lilies or roses?
There is two ways it can go, one is it will backfire on me and the other it might turn out to be good as she will be suprised and more sure of my sincerity.