seriously i dont think i understand their thinking
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was trying to fix the dvd burning probs then my mum wakes up to go get a drink at 3am. passes by my room and starts having hallucinations. claims tht the moment she step in, i click the mouse, rapidly type stuff to hide something. it's ALWAYS this kind of paranoid thoughts that seriously pissing me off.
then she starts screaming at me saying "dont do this kind of thing anymore" so i ask what in a exasperated tone because i seriously dunno waht the hell she;s talking abt and she scolds me "if u arent hiding something why are u so agitated ?"
" dont think i am stupid," she says again
and i keep asking her waht she's talking abt.
i explained to her that i can only study at night and she starts it again. " dont do this kind of thing anymore. it's bad" it's not as if she is telling me not to have late nights, rather it's her so called suspicious activities and her hallucinations.
i told her that i tried to sleep at 1230am on tues but could only fall asleep at 2+ and she yet again claims i was trying to be suspicious and refuses to listen.
constantly claiming she's open to my reasoning and explanations yet the next line she says are those hallucinations again !
seriously, can anyone tell me what is going on ? -
i think she suspects u of surfing porn due to that Ch U show "you hua zhi shuo". if u are not doing what she thought u r doing, tell her you are not. then add, even if you are, there is nothing wrong. you are grown up (if you are over 21, tell her even government allows you to watch), you know what is right from wrong and ask her not to worry. of coz, your normal daily behaviour makes a difference in the degree of trust she have in you.
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Originally posted by dibilo:
Being above 21 in Singapore only qualifies a person to vote and to watch R(A) movies. Pornography is still banned in Singapore and a person found in possession or distribution of any pornographic materials, whether in the form of publications or electronic media, can be charged under the Singapore law.
i think she suspects u of surfing porn due to that Ch U show "you hua zhi shuo". if u are not doing what she thought u r doing, tell her you are not. then add, even if you are, there is nothing wrong. you are grown up (if you are over 21, tell her even government allows you to watch), you know what is right from wrong and ask her not to worry. of coz, your normal daily behaviour makes a difference in the degree of trust she have in you.
Returning to the original post, perhaps bismarck you could try speaking calmly with your mother to reassure her that you were not doing anything illegal and were merely fixing your computer problems that night. You may think your mother was imagining things, but you couldn't blame her for that when you were apparently trying to hide something or do something furtively. Wouldn't you do the same thing in her shoes? Insomnia can be frustrating, but that is still not a good reason to justify the use of harsh tones on your mother.
Explain nicely to her. She was just being concerned because you are her son. If she doesn't believe you, then there is nothing else you can do, except maybe not to let her catch you hiding something again. No point arguing with her over such a small matter. -
she old liao and can get jumpy...bear with it..my mom also like dis sometimes.
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the easy way will be to close and lock your room dorr at nite...
assuming your comp is in your room lah...
then she won't noe wat you doing liao... -
she will be asking why lock the door..only worsening the sit.
ok i admit there was no ground for being jumpy but i really hate ppl when they are like so deluded, hallucinating and paranoid. it's plain retarded.. -
Parents are supposed to be paranoid by nature. They scared you turn out to be some porn-addicted pervert :p
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i think they shld be afraid i turn too violent..Originally posted by choco B:Parents are supposed to be paranoid by nature. They scared you turn out to be some porn-addicted pervert :p
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Originally posted by bismarck:she will be asking why lock the door..only worsening the sit.
ok i admit there was no ground for being jumpy but i really hate ppl when they are like so deluded, hallucinating and paranoid. it's plain retarded..
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wha'ts with thisOriginally posted by Devil1976: -
Being deluded, hallucinating or paranoid is not being plain retarded.. It can happen with age, stress or other external factors or conditions...Originally posted by bismarck:wha'ts with this
Labelling people 'retarded' simply because of these is no sign of intelligence... -
always lock ur door.Originally posted by bismarck:was trying to fix the dvd burning probs then my mum wakes up to go get a drink at 3am. passes by my room and starts having hallucinations. claims tht the moment she step in, i click the mouse, rapidly type stuff to hide something. it's ALWAYS this kind of paranoid thoughts that seriously pissing me off.
then she starts screaming at me saying "dont do this kind of thing anymore" so i ask what in a exasperated tone because i seriously dunno waht the hell she;s talking abt and she scolds me "if u arent hiding something why are u so agitated ?"
" dont think i am stupid," she says again
and i keep asking her waht she's talking abt.
i explained to her that i can only study at night and she starts it again. " dont do this kind of thing anymore. it's bad" it's not as if she is telling me not to have late nights, rather it's her so called suspicious activities and her hallucinations.
i told her that i tried to sleep at 1230am on tues but could only fall asleep at 2+ and she yet again claims i was trying to be suspicious and refuses to listen.
constantly claiming she's open to my reasoning and explanations yet the next line she says are those hallucinations again !
seriously, can anyone tell me what is going on ? -
3am repair dvd problem?
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especially when that person is your mum. maybe she wasn't nice when she put the question to you. but she cares about you. periodOriginally posted by Devil1976:Being deluded, hallucinating or paranoid is not being plain retarded.. It can happen with age, stress or other external factors or conditions...
Labelling people 'retarded' simply because of these is no sign of intelligence... -
Originally posted by dragg:
Put it this way, bismarck. What would you think of a person who calls his own mother -- the person who gave him life in this world -- "retarded", and in public domain some more?
especially when that person is your mum. maybe she wasn't nice when she put the question to you. but she cares about you. period
You can have all the friends or so-called brothers in the world, but you only have one mother. -
till 3am...Originally posted by BufPuf:3am repair dvd problem? -
ok fine...retarded is wrong...
quite simply, waht's wrong? -
I agreed.Originally posted by choco B:Parents are supposed to be paranoid by nature. They scared you turn out to be some porn-addicted pervert :p
Now my way out is "I'm 30 liao... hao ming, I'm a father of 3 liao so stop worrying"
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tell her u watching sex education moovees... if they wanna have grandchildren, they should allow u to watch... unless they wanna do live show in front of u?
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err...brilliant idea..Originally posted by Axelheat755:tell her u watching sex education moovees... if they wanna have grandchildren, they should allow u to watch... unless they wanna do live show in front of u?
u have kids ? ok..learn something new today.Originally posted by X-men:I agreed.
Now my way out is "I'm 30 liao... hao ming, I'm a father of 3 liao so stop worrying" -
btw, u sure she is paranoid or were u actually watching porn?
we understand... we are all young once... -
bismarck...you're going to thank me for this.Originally posted by bismarck:was trying to fix the dvd burning probs then my mum wakes up to go get a drink at 3am. passes by my room and starts having hallucinations. claims tht the moment she step in, i click the mouse, rapidly type stuff to hide something. it's ALWAYS this kind of paranoid thoughts that seriously pissing me off.
then she starts screaming at me saying "dont do this kind of thing anymore" so i ask what in a exasperated tone because i seriously dunno waht the hell she;s talking abt and she scolds me "if u arent hiding something why are u so agitated ?"
" dont think i am stupid," she says again
and i keep asking her waht she's talking abt.
i explained to her that i can only study at night and she starts it again. " dont do this kind of thing anymore. it's bad" it's not as if she is telling me not to have late nights, rather it's her so called suspicious activities and her hallucinations.
i told her that i tried to sleep at 1230am on tues but could only fall asleep at 2+ and she yet again claims i was trying to be suspicious and refuses to listen.
constantly claiming she's open to my reasoning and explanations yet the next line she says are those hallucinations again !
seriously, can anyone tell me what is going on ?
You know...I also used to be easily irritated by those nonsense people around me. Until I've came out with something to overcome all those nonsense people.
Well, when people around you give you nonsense remarks or accusations...ignore them (pretend you didn't hear it...and give them a faceless emotion
). If they ask you a question, you answer them...but with a close-end answer. Give a short and direct answer as in "Yes" "OK" "No" or other etc answers.
And don't be concern with what they think or might misunderstood. People always enjoys putting other people down...especially Singaporeans (True and a sad fact...don't know what's their problem anyway...don't care. :-P ). Let them think and misunderstood all they want...as long as you already tell them your side of the story once, your job is considered done. If they are too stupid to grasp your explaination, not your problem anyway...nobody is born the same and perfect. So maybe you may have problem expressing yourself or people may have problem understanding you...there's nothing you should do about it as long as you are accountable to what you have done and did and that's enough.
Once they realised that they can't mess with your emotions anymore, they'll stop trying or they might die of their own inner frustrations.
Just like a wall...imagine yourself going against a wall. You can hit/scold/kick it all you want and the wall does nothing. Who's going to feel worse? So get what I mean? :-P Be a wall...firm and guarded against nonsense invaders.
Try it and you'll know it works...cos it works perfectly for me.
Good luck, you won't need it...you just need to be firm with yourself. -
Try a play game.
I know people play game in the start and for long time.
Start with playing games and on the speaker "loud", close the door.
The record down the music and play the game music.
Do whatever you want with your PC...
To me, freedom is important, and so is privacy. But sometime just need to compromize. -
well i did try using a monotone answer...think it didnt work too well or i was too bothered into her thinking wrongly..Originally posted by parn:bismarck...you're going to thank me for this.
You know...I also used to be easily irritated by those nonsense people around me. Until I've came out with something to overcome all those nonsense people.
Well, when people around you give you nonsense remarks or accusations...ignore them (pretend you didn't hear it...and give them a faceless emotion ). If they ask you a question, you answer them...but with a close-end answer. Give a short and direct answer as in "Yes" "OK" "No" or other etc answers.
And don't be concern with what they think or might misunderstood. People always enjoys putting other people down...especially Singaporeans (True and a sad fact...don't know what's their problem anyway...don't care. :-P ). Let them think and misunderstood all they want...as long as you already tell them your side of the story once, your job is considered done. If they are too stupid to grasp your explaination, not your problem anyway...nobody is born the same and perfect. So maybe you may have problem expressing yourself or people may have problem understanding you...there's nothing you should do about it as long as you are accountable to what you have done and did and that's enough.
Once they realised that they can't mess with your emotions anymore, they'll stop trying or they might die of their own inner frustrations.
Just like a wall...imagine yourself going against a wall. You can hit/scold/kick it all you want and the wall does nothing. Who's going to feel worse? So get what I mean? :-P Be a wall...firm and guarded against nonsense invaders.
Try it and you'll know it works...cos it works perfectly for me.
Good luck, you won't need it...you just need to be firm with yourself.
try again next time -
Originally posted by bismarck:
Nothing's wrong -- your mother is just concerned. Parents who care about their kids do that all the time.
quite simply, waht's wrong?
If you were not doing something that she thought you were doing, then tell her you
couldn't sleep and were working on some technical problems with the computer hardware.
If you were really doing something that she thought you were doing, then tell her you
couldn't sleep and were working on some technical problems with the computer hardware.