Still living in the past.........
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Hope that tomm i will bump into him again at lunchtime
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wot if you dont'Originally posted by GaLtwenty:Hope that tomm i will bump into him again at lunchtime -
I will b'cos i notice he always seems to hang around the same food court that is under my work premises.Originally posted by devoid05:wot if you dont'
Yeah, just like how he used to wait for me when we were both 19 year olds -
Yoz...
Gal...
Dun U tink tt U shld stop hafin haborin the hope of meeting tt guy...
The longer this 'meetings' go on...the harder it is for U to gt out of it...the more likely U will do sometin wrong...
Its time to move on...
Cheers... -
Oh please, Galtwenty. Don't hope to bump into him.
I don't know if you are in love with him or you are in love with the memories. Like you said, it was so sweet then. That was then. And now is now. The fact that he is married should give you closure to any hope of a relationship with him. Someone once said "we do not marry the person but we marry the illusion (impression) of the person". Like when you meet a person, you think he is such and such a person but of course later when you eventually live together, you will definitely find out that it is not the case.
The same for men to women. I have had many family male friends telling me that when they first met their wives, they all appear timid and nice. Then after a few years of marriage, the cats have become tigress.
Your friend tells you he is unhappy with his marriage. Well, of course. This is life. I have been with my husband for 25 years. Were they all beautiful 25 years? Of course not. There's bound to be ups and downs. It is for both of us to want it so much to make it work. So, if your friend value his marriage or family (if he has children), then he should put in effort to make it work. Getting married to jumpstart a career or support his siblings do sound like a lame excuse to get married though. I mean you said he is unselfish but seriously, you really think so? There are other means to have a career. It may take a bit of hard work and a longer walk so taking a short cut is the easier way out? So, what does it tells you of a person? Sorry, I am not being judgemental (I have no rights, anyways) but simply asking bare facts as you have stated.
Anyways, for his wife's sake and his family's, I hope you will let go and let it be but a beautiful memory for you and move on. We are all women (or humans for that matter) so please don't start a stir. I like some of the post herein and very good points too (Moderator and someone else). You may wish to re-read to reinforce what is morally right.
All the very best to you, Galtwenty. -
I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask? -
His parants didnt agree to us being together. He's from a different race.
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Yoz...Originally posted by GaLtwenty:I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask?
I tink this is totally unhealthy...U shld really gt out tt mentality asap...for Ur own gd...
Will U haf any future with him...
Later if U bump into him n his family outside protraying a happy family image...hw will U feel...will he still be a motivation to U...
Cheers... -
cos he's married. so wot if he still loves you? ultimately, he's still a married man. you shouldn't even be thinking about him.Originally posted by GaLtwenty:I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask? -
U still don't get it.Originally posted by GaLtwenty:I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask?
The more u see him, the harder it is to break free.
He start by saying he is unhappy, then u become sympathetic, later he will use u, then before u know it, u become involve in an affair.
Remember he is married so nothing good will come out of this.
U will be the one ended up heartbroken. -
Hi Galtwenty
I dont know you enjoy carrying a big stone and swim around in the sea of life. What you hope to get of it in the future? Someone else husband? What will you do if one day he stop appearing in your life again? Are you prepare to drown?
I learn a new meaning of life today from you: trouble dont seek us, we seek for trouble.
Good luck in your swimming.
RegardsOriginally posted by GaLtwenty:I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask? -
His parants didnt agree to us being together. He's from a different race.
Even if u go thru all the pain to be with him eventually..
Do you think that his parents are going to accept your race this time round? Futhermore, they might think that you are the coz of the break up of his previous marriage. -
he may not be happy in his marriage, but i hope you won't catalyze it's break down.Originally posted by GaLtwenty:He is not the unscruplous type to get me.He told me himself he is not really happy in his marriage.His career got jumpstarted by his wifer's father and at the time he had to support his younger siblings who were still schooling.So he married her.He did not make a selfish decision.
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Well... You're in the situation yourself... So you should know better than we do....? Go ahead and keep pushing... Till you see the wall ahead right in your face...?Originally posted by GaLtwenty:I just wanted to say that this has been the driving force of my life.It makes me look forward to each coming day, feel happy at work and inspired.
So why would it be a bad thing may i ask?
Why waste your time on something which you know probably won't bring anyone much good...?
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While you're at it, pls introduce his wife to Aunt Agony in Sgforum too...? Perhaps she'll need some counseling of her own after you've broken into her life....?Originally posted by Devil1976:Well... You're in the situation yourself... So you should know better than we do....? Go ahead and keep pushing... Till you see the wall ahead right in your face...?
Why waste your time on something which you know probably won't bring anyone much good...? -
You probably haven't met someone you really love... so you're habouring the thought of meeting him etc.... from experience, once your prince charming appear, you will find him just simplly normal and nothing exceptional about him... my advise is keep the beautiful memories but move on in life, you will meet your Mr right, just a matter of time. Meanwhile find something useful to do ..... don't ever get involve and be third party ... is no good for anyone ...you will suffer most in the end ... I'm happily married for 20+ year although I still think of the girl I met before my marriage .... We met for lunch but thing are different now, we both have family and we only talk friendship ... I guess I am a bit luckier here ...Originally posted by GaLtwenty:More than decade ago , i met a nice guy in my sec school, he was posted in from another and ended up in my class. we used to go out on Saturdays after ECA to Ang Mo Kio to hang around.Very sweet memories but as his parents objected and we soon parted.After that i had to busy doing tertiary education and getting a career but still kept thinking about him
A couple years ago we met into each other in my parents' neighbourhood . I haven't heard from him since 1994 or so.He told me he was married which i already knew. Turned out to be a kind, intelligent, hardworking man. I hope he is doing well. It was good to know that he has found himself a nice relationship and a decent job. I don't think any good could come from my barging into his life again.He was a perfect gentleman, and a good friend to me.
After all these years i still feel so nostalgic about the whole affair.I cant seem to forget him.I tried to throw away all the things that keep reminding me of him. But have no heart to do so. If i did it, i would feel i lost something valuable. Sometimes i do feel that he keeps thinking about me as i heard that he was not really into his current marriage.Why is this crush lasting so long for me? -
how were u able to leave happily when u are still thinking of someone else?Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:You probably haven't met someone you really love... so you're habouring the thought of meeting him etc.... from experience, once your prince charming appear, you will find him just simplly normal and nothing exceptional about him... my advise is keep the beautiful memories but move on in life, you will meet your Mr right, just a matter of time. Meanwhile find something useful to do ..... don't ever get involve and be third party ... is no good for anyone ...you will suffer most in the end ... I'm happily married for 20+ year although I still think of the girl I met before my marriage .... We met for lunch but thing are different now, we both have family and we only talk friendship ... I guess I am a bit luckier here ... -
hee hee....hi moderator, I had the same thoughts too.Originally posted by Devil1976:While you're at it, pls introduce his wife to Aunt Agony in Sgforum too...? Perhaps she'll need some counseling of her own after you've broken into her life....? 
And as for Oragamist's comments, it doesn't mean we cannot have a happy marriage when we have memories of our past loves. They are, after all, a part of our life history and what can erase that? Is it shallow modes of reasoning to believe that because one reminisce about the past, it means one is unhappy with the present?
Besides, can we really be happy everyday? Errr....what's that phrase? Ups and downs? Peaks and valleys? Even if we want to, life throw a variety of cards on our plates everyday. Some find it challenging and some find it interesting. I find it as a learning process. Everyday, I am learning to be a good person by learning how to deal with different situations and people that cross my path. Of course I am no angel. I have my flaws and I admit it to myself and be willing to work harder to correct it. I believe admission of one's fault is the first step to remedification. Yes?
It is alright if you can't see past your current obssessions because I believe one day you will. We grow up everyday, don't we? Sometimes, it is costly, sometimes it is not. My intent is not to hurt but as a third party view looking through the window.
Nevertheless, I wish you all the best, Galtwenty. -
Yah, i guess each to his own
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I presume you're going to continue what missed in the past(?)Originally posted by GaLtwenty:Yah, i guess each to his own -
Dear Galtwenty,
After reading your posts, it seems to me that you still want to cling on to your past, and hope for a miracle to happen.
You know that HE is your "forbidden fruit". But, the more you can't get it, the more you wanted it. Just like some people said that they dun marry their true love, they only marry the second best. Why? Because they are not able to be together with their "true love" that's why, they thought that the one they married is not their true love. Ironic.
All his actions, seems to indicate that he still has feeling for you. But, this is wat you THINK! You are making too many assumptions here. Sometimes, wat we think are not the truth. The only way to get the truth is to ask him.
Don't think. You THINK too much.
Shouldn't you be glad that you have memories, and sweet memories of the times that you have spent together? Haven't you think even further, that if your parents never stop you in the past, wat will become of you? Will you guys be happily married? or Separated unhappily? -
It was difficult.... see one every day and thinking of the other... But when you are with your wife, you asked yourself... is she thinking of someone else like me? Is she is, well it is ok for me to think of other.. but if she is not, then it most unfair for her to get a half bake husband. So I asked do I love my wife which is of course yes, that why I marry her instead. But how about the other one, well since I already married, I must decide to have a clean break and that what I did.. FOr me is simple.. I look at my wife and I say she is my love one, I should be and I am happy. I still love her so much and because of the guilt I carried for thinking of someone earlier, I have to be patient and love my wife more. Who asked me to wrong her first. You know like making up for it. When you think about it, hey this is not a bad thing to hold and keep a family. Because I was at fault so I have to always be the first to say " I am sorry " in any situation. To forgot the other girl, I alway look forward to meet my wife and remind me that I got a wonderful wife..When you do that you find the love for the other girl just vanished into thin air. We are married for 21 years already and I sincerely hope it can last another 21....Originally posted by GaLtwenty:how were u able to leave happily when u are still thinking of someone else? -
Hello to all
I feel all of us shall not waste our time to advise her anymore. When it come to love, there is always not room for reasons. And beside her desire to cling onto her past is as stubborn as a mule. If one want to sacrifice in the name of love, dont try stop her.
Regards -
*nods...Originally posted by varatare:Hello to all
I feel all of us shall not waste our time to advise her anymore. When it come to love, there is always not room for reasons. And beside her desire to cling onto her past is as stubborn as a mule. If one want to sacrifice in the name of love, dont try stop her.
Regards
She is nt the one who sacrifice for love...the family of the guy is...they r victims of one's selfish desire...
Hope she will come to her senses soon n nt commit the mistake of breaking up a family... -
There are many other things in life which you can think about...Originally posted by GaLtwenty:how were u able to leave happily when u are still thinking of someone else?
TRY IT...? I can ALMOST bet you, you won't be getting much of your own fruits too...Originally posted by GaLtwenty:Yah, i guess each to his own