Should I keep my first for my wedding night ?
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wedding is a place and time whereby folks, relative get a chance to meet up and catch up.Originally posted by elindra:Spent alot on ROM on my relatives liao
Sometimes I wonder if we are getting married or my relatives are getting married.
From 25 ppl ballooned to 130 ppl cos of my grandma.
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all at the expense of the bride and bridegroom.Originally posted by kops21:wedding is a place and time whereby folks, relative get a chance to meet up and catch up. 
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As you can see I don't like them very muchOriginally posted by kops21:wedding is a place and time whereby folks, relative get a chance to meet up and catch up.
Namely because they can put any neighbourhood san gu liu bo to shame
They can catch up anytime during the year if they really wanted or even during Chinese New Year, as if they even bother. -
But somethings don't need planning mahh... SPONtaneous... SPUR of the moment..... you know?Originally posted by kops21:died of exhaustion.
whole day event very siong leh...physically not that much, but mentality stressful lah...months of planning just for one day. 101 things could have screwed up.
When the show ends, the last thing is to have Sex in the evening.
unless u r planning for a quick one in the afternoon. ...... 
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Then you will hear them making snide remarks that your event is disorganize.Originally posted by choco B:
But somethings don't need planning mahh... SPONtaneous... SPUR of the moment..... you know?
My ROM was a buffet and people were complaining how come they were not served. Gimme a break man. Get to eat free in a 5 star hotel still want to complain. -
remember to use CAPS when the SPON & SPUR becomes too HOT to handle.Originally posted by choco B:
But somethings don't need planning mahh... SPONtaneous... SPUR of the moment..... you know? -
Nasty relatives you've got
Well. At least it's all over and you don't have to bother about them for now.Originally posted by elindra:Then you will hear them making snide remarks that your event is disorganize.
My ROM was a buffet and people were complaining how come they were not served. Gimme a break man. Get to eat free in a 5 star hotel still want to complain. -
you must have invited singaporeansOriginally posted by elindra:Then you will hear them making snide remarks that your event is disorganize.
My ROM was a buffet and people were complaining how come they were not served. Gimme a break man. Get to eat free in a 5 star hotel still want to complain. -
Hey! where is the topic starter "Casino"!?!?
Overwhelmed by all the advice ?? -
Duhz! Of course they are SingaporeansOriginally posted by dragg:you must have invited singaporeans
Of course I have nice relatives who took the trouble to take time off work to return to Singapore just to attend my ROM. -
there is no real NEED.there is only lust.Originally posted by Casino:Have know him coming 4 yrs. Told him that I prefer doing it after customarry. But he alway use the point that he is a guy and there is need for him. -
she went out and will only be back at niteOriginally posted by spencer99:Hey! where is the topic starter "Casino"!?!?
Overwhelmed by all the advice ??
told me just now in MSN
i.c.y -
you didnt catch the sarcasm - singaporeans complain about everything.Originally posted by elindra:Duhz! Of course they are Singaporeans
Of course I have nice relatives who took the trouble to take time off work to return to Singapore just to attend my ROM. -
I didOriginally posted by dragg:you didnt catch the sarcasm - singaporeans complain about everything. 
Just that I don't want you to relish in it -
sorry. that was not my intention
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i tend to agree... and i think this is a good point.. this is more a communication issue rather then a sxx issue.Originally posted by sweetie05:Hi Casino,
so it is very subjective... if u r not ready, don't agree. communication is key. talk to ur bf and tell him that u r not ready but there is nothing wrong with u physically (or is there?). u juz want to wait, and stress that it is really important to u.
Also u should let him know whether u r "not ready" or u r "ready" but "waiting" for the marital night.....
The above two points are different.... if you didn't make it clear, then there will be a lot of pressure from him to want it right after marriage and you might be pressured to give it to him.
so make it clear to him.... there is a danger also that u will tend to want to give him before u feel really in the mood because there is so much built up and expectation for it and waiting and waiting and anticipation and so on.....
so in the end it might not be not enjoyable for both parties and feel like a letdown.
I am NOT telling u to do it and get it over with it... but u should be clear to him also on this point... so that BOTH of u can wait for an opportune time after marriage to do it instead of being "pressued" to perform after a long hard day of marriage ceremonies. -
Is that the new way to justify premarital sex?marital as in customary wedding.Originally posted by spencer99:From this view u can maybe understand some guys view on wanting to do it with their future wife..... -
U might want to know that throwing a wedding dinner without ROMing first is illegal.Originally posted by kops21:i have no ROM.....so choose a wedding dinner..... -
so given a choice again....would U still throw a ROM buffet?Originally posted by elindra:Then you will hear them making snide remarks that your event is disorganize.
My ROM was a buffet and people were complaining how come they were not served. Gimme a break man. Get to eat free in a 5 star hotel still want to complain.
Anyway...how is a ROM buffet like?people come in...Ur groom and U stand by the door....shake hands and all the niceties....then they go in...take food....go find a seat....sit down....eat....talk for a while if they know anyone there...then get up and go off at their own pace?no entertainment for the guests?
Care to share with me how ur ROM buffet went?PM me if U dont want to reply here.
Thanks. -
Originally posted by Casino:People said I am conservative. My boyfriend who I am going to marry this September said that too. We quarrel over it often. He said I am too conversative and that not good for our marriage life ? Is it true ? I am 26. This is my 2nd relationship. My first relationship end because of that too. I trust my future hubby but I want to keep it for him on wedding night. But he claimed that since we have registered and is marrying soon, I should allow him to go futher then now what we are doing. Please advise ...
Maybe I am unorthodox; to me this is not a question of being conversative or whatsoever; it's a question of mental frequency.
If you are marrying a woman, WHO is brought up in a conversative background and is equip with conversative mindsets, then the man who is marrying her would have to accept it, since love accepts an entire package and NOT a few components within (Law of CloUdiSm).
In the Age of Aquarian, being conversative or not doesn't matter - what matters is how this message is being convey in a way where it is being accepted by your love. Be it out of respect, love, or anything - certain principles are there to stay when you accepted the proposal. One negative similar example is when a woman fell in love with a man, whom she knows he cannot commit. This quality is ALREADY known right in the beginning, however, the woman still enters the relationship, hoping to change his mindset from within. Some succeeded in the change, many failed outrageously.
Exactly what is happening; your man knowing about your conversative nature, enters into a relationship with you, sexually unsatisfied, tried to convince you out of this conversative mindset.
You can stick to your beliefs, however, if this sex issue is still an issue during marriage AFTER your wedding night, it will definitely generate problems - Sex-related problems in a marriage. Not saying that giving in now will prevent such things later - there are definitely MORE to sex-then-marriage-then-lose them kind of thing. It should be the emotional connection that stimulates the love-making session (higher learning) and not the ultimate sexual release of lust during the wedding night (Basis Mars principle). The absence of emotional base in sex is dangerous for all forms of relationship.
A good way to handle this is to save it for your marriage night. After that, gradually lose that conversative nature and learn more healthy sex in marriage because I can bet with you; this conversative nature will subconsciously linger into your marriage life and may cause the above problem.
Astrology Mode: On
Saturn in 8th house/ruling planets in 8th house afflict Saturn.
Cheers -
I am here, but I am lost.
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I read all the posting, think spencer99 got his point. It is fair. But it is not that I dont allow him to do anything. In fact we did alot of thing, except sex. So he should know that I only want it to happen on wedding night.
If we are not chinese customarriage, dont said 5 years, even 10 years, I will still keep it. But after reading all the posting, maybe it is true that we are now official married. -
I'm also in the school of unorthodoxy.
Psychological or Conservative background and beliefs plays a huge part in life and marriage.
These qualities deals within individuals. - internal
Communication deals with two person (or more) - external
Marriage anchors on this factor.
The question shouldn't be should or should not.
Rather it should question your values and reasons for keeping your chastity.
What convinces you to keep it?
What is your stand upon giving yourself to him before Chinese customary; and what are his stand on it?
It might post more problems if both parties do not discuss this matter in peace.
Possibly he might have a psychological barrier himself. Hence his 'scary' or hasty advancements. This is not an excuse, this factor cannot be ruled out.
If not, offer other forms of 'release' for him(?)
Do something to solve the existing problem rather than playing hide and seek.
Cheers -
jz continue to reject him... and tell him to wait.... sept very fast one.... jz wait alittle longer can liao.... and ask him, he want u jz for sex?Originally posted by Casino:People said I am conservative. My boyfriend who I am going to marry this September said that too. We quarrel over it often. He said I am too conversative and that not good for our marriage life ? Is it true ? I am 26. This is my 2nd relationship. My first relationship end because of that too. I trust my future hubby but I want to keep it for him on wedding night. But he claimed that since we have registered and is marrying soon, I should allow him to go futher then now what we are doing. Please advise ... -
If he can wait, casino wouldn't post here? It is not as simple as that.Originally posted by BrUtUs:jz continue to reject him... and tell him to wait.... sept very fast one.... jz wait alittle longer can liao.... and ask him, he want u jz for sex?