Is it considered 'cruelty'?
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you know wad? i can't help but agree with you now...Originally posted by BabyRS:It's not so much about how the society will look upon us - rather it is how I will adapt to an entirely different way of life. OK - to make it so much simpler, me being with him will entail a lot of sacrifice, more on my part than his. It will firstly mean I would have to move to another country. I just don't think I will be able to handle the complete overhaul. Being with him would also mean:
1. Me leaving my family (not because of objection, but more of the physical distance) - with my Mom getting older and me being so close to her, I'm just not willing to leave her alone here. I have asked her to go, but she does not want to leave all the things that are so familiar to her... and at her age, she is just not willing to have to learn to adapt to a new environment.
2. Me not being sure of what I would do over there (workwise). Actually I need not work at all - but what I do (advertising/design) has always been my passion... and I simply cannot envision myself not working. I understand that I might be able to get another job there, but I would then have to start and learn the style from scratch.
3. Me leaving my best friends. They are very important to me. They have seen me through some very rough times, and I am loathe to not be able to see them as often as I would like to.
and a whole lot of other minor reasons that add up quite substantially.
While it may be true that maybe love can overcome all odds, if I was younger maybe I would have taken the plunge in a heartbeat. Maybe as we mature we become more cynical, and rationale takes over. More often than not, sometimes love just isn't enough.
it's up to you gal....
if i'm in your shoes, i don't think i would want to move out too...
it's far too high a stake liao... -
oh.. ok. now that you are more forthright, i see the clearer picture.Originally posted by BabyRS:It's not so much about how the society will look upon us - rather it is how I will adapt to an entirely different way of life. OK - to make it so much simpler, me being with him will entail a lot of sacrifice, more on my part than his. It will firstly mean I would have to move to another country. I just don't think I will be able to handle the complete overhaul. Being with him would also mean:
1. Me leaving my family (not because of objection, but more of the physical distance) - with my Mom getting older and me being so close to her, I'm just not willing to leave her alone here. I have asked her to go, but she does not want to leave all the things that are so familiar to her... and at her age, she is just not willing to have to learn to adapt to a new environment.
2. Me not being sure of what I would do over there (workwise). Actually I need not work at all - but what I do (advertising/design) has always been my passion... and I simply cannot envision myself not working. I understand that I might be able to get another job there, but I would then have to start and learn the style from scratch.
3. Me leaving my best friends. They are very important to me. They have seen me through some very rough times, and I am loathe to not be able to see them as often as I would like to.
and a whole lot of other minor reasons that add up quite substantially.
While it may be true that maybe love can overcome all odds, if I was younger maybe I would have taken the plunge in a heartbeat. Maybe as we mature we become more cynical, and rationale takes over. More often than not, sometimes love just isn't enough.
hmmms... yar... it's sad indeed. but i guess you made the wise choice. all e best. -
I sense your dilemma here...Originally posted by BabyRS:It's not so much about how the society will look upon us - rather it is how I will adapt to an entirely different way of life. OK - to make it so much simpler, me being with him will entail a lot of sacrifice, more on my part than his. It will firstly mean I would have to move to another country. I just don't think I will be able to handle the complete overhaul. Being with him would also mean:
1. Me leaving my family (not because of objection, but more of the physical distance) - with my Mom getting older and me being so close to her, I'm just not willing to leave her alone here. I have asked her to go, but she does not want to leave all the things that are so familiar to her... and at her age, she is just not willing to have to learn to adapt to a new environment.
2. Me not being sure of what I would do over there (workwise). Actually I need not work at all - but what I do (advertising/design) has always been my passion... and I simply cannot envision myself not working. I understand that I might be able to get another job there, but I would then have to start and learn the style from scratch.
3. Me leaving my best friends. They are very important to me. They have seen me through some very rough times, and I am loathe to not be able to see them as often as I would like to.
and a whole lot of other minor reasons that add up quite substantially.
While it may be true that maybe love can overcome all odds, if I was younger maybe I would have taken the plunge in a heartbeat. Maybe as we mature we become more cynical, and rationale takes over. More often than not, sometimes love just isn't enough.
I don't think I've got the right to leave any opinions because I have not been in a situation like yours before and might give you some wrong and perhaps even lame suggestions...
Anyway, I just wanna tell you that, you may not know it, but reading your post had answered some unanswered questions in my head. Thank you for that.
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Ultimately, you aks yourself this question... Are you able to give it a 'show hand' and accepts whatever might come...?Originally posted by BabyRS:It's not so much about how the society will look upon us - rather it is how I will adapt to an entirely different way of life. OK - to make it so much simpler, me being with him will entail a lot of sacrifice, more on my part than his. It will firstly mean I would have to move to another country. I just don't think I will be able to handle the complete overhaul. Being with him would also mean:
1. Me leaving my family (not because of objection, but more of the physical distance) - with my Mom getting older and me being so close to her, I'm just not willing to leave her alone here. I have asked her to go, but she does not want to leave all the things that are so familiar to her... and at her age, she is just not willing to have to learn to adapt to a new environment.
2. Me not being sure of what I would do over there (workwise). Actually I need not work at all - but what I do (advertising/design) has always been my passion... and I simply cannot envision myself not working. I understand that I might be able to get another job there, but I would then have to start and learn the style from scratch.
3. Me leaving my best friends. They are very important to me. They have seen me through some very rough times, and I am loathe to not be able to see them as often as I would like to.
and a whole lot of other minor reasons that add up quite substantially.
While it may be true that maybe love can overcome all odds, if I was younger maybe I would have taken the plunge in a heartbeat. Maybe as we mature we become more cynical, and rationale takes over. More often than not, sometimes love just isn't enough.
Else, are there alternatives to things..? Does it have to be an 'all or nothing' situation