girls, what will you do if?
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If I am already into the r/ship and alr love the girl wholeheartedly before I know she done like sex, I will still accept the fact tt my girl doesnt likes sax.Originally posted by dragg:will you accept such a relationship? i definitely wont. hence it is important to decide before marriage.
Sex no doubt is important....but it is not everything and it is defintely not the most important. -
Personally speaking, I would if I love the gal.Originally posted by dragg:will you accept such a relationship? i definitely wont. hence it is important to decide before marriage.
I didn't love her so as to get her into my bed, I love her for who she is!
Different ppl have different view on ways of showing love -
Agreed.Originally posted by Kenashi:Personally speaking, I would if I love the gal.
I didn't love her so as to get her into my bed, I love her for who she is!
Different ppl have different view on ways of showing love -
How old are the both of you?Originally posted by lost little gurl:my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. although we do cuddled, kiss and the regular stuff, he had stayed away from sex. then only recently he told me he dont want to have sex - ever. he assure me he's not gay, but he really has no interest in sex, so if i want to be with him that means we will never have sex. i try to understand but...will i be too mean if i break up with him? now ok maybe but forever??
if you are me what will you do? -
me 20. hes 2 years older.
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He claims not to have interest in sex... well I assume that he's honest about it. Because if he has physical problems, there are aids for that. Even psychological barriers can be overcome. But the root of the problem must be identified first. If you suspect that he has other issues left unsaid, it's best to check with him again.
If he can't be changed... personally I wouldn't continue a relationship like this. Sex is an intergral part of a relationship. Considering your ages and you're probably not ready to settle down yet, I think there should be other chances of a relationship after him.Originally posted by lost little gurl:me 20. hes 2 years older. -
i wont contradict you on your views. but many things are easier said than done. you might think differently if it really happens to you!!Originally posted by Kenashi:Personally speaking, I would if I love the gal.
I didn't love her so as to get her into my bed, I love her for who she is!
Different ppl have different view on ways of showing love -
have you all ever consider that for a couple trapped into this type of r/s, there might not only be no sxx but also no children........
Are you all willing to accept that... for all those who say that can still accept no sxx ever and no children ever.... please state your age and r/s experience.
Someone said can adopt... as a woman, will u willingly adopt another person's kid when u and your hubby have reproductive capability but he doesn't want to have sxx......
The affected person is still young, she can probably find other people if they break up (objectively speaking) ....and sad to say this, many r/s that were on at 20 sometimes didn't last long enought to marriage... some do, but many sort of die off. don't flame me i am just generalizing......
But since she know that she got a "problem" should immediately tackle it head on.. if delay will fall more in love with the guy and later more difficult to unwind..... girls when younger more easy to find other partners.....
Also she must have thought there is an issue, if not why bother to post it here and ask for advice.
Also typically a woman's sxx drive will peak when she is in her 30s... if she think that it is an issue now it will be more of an issue a decade later! -
You are entitled to your own view.... but if the affected person is happy that she and her bf are showing love in a sufficient way without sxx... it would not be a "problem" to her and she would not have posted it here....Originally posted by Kenashi:Personally speaking, I would if I love the gal.
I didn't love her so as to get her into my bed, I love her for who she is!
Different ppl have different view on ways of showing love -
Maybe from the start, the attraction is intellectual or emotional & not physical?
Maybe it's not love. he did not feel it.
Just platoonic friendship. -
humm your problem is not new.
Handle 2 case in fact.
Case 1
Guy found not having sex with gf becos his father was beat his mum and him when he was a child. He did not wish his kids to suffer and was turn off sex.
Case 2
Guy found out that that his gf was playing around before he meet her. He was scare that if he have sex with her she would give him Aids. Why do he accept her?? He love her a lot and wanted to protected her but could not bring himself to have sex.
Well for your case my advice for you is simple.
Is to just fellow your heart.
Is having sex so important to you that you must breakup in order to stop thiniking about it ? If yes then is time for you to let him go.
He really deserve someone who can accept him for what he is and not a person who will run when face with a hardship ahead.
I just want to remind you that he too has done a lot for you for this past 2 years. If you are placed in his shoe, will you be heartbroken too if your bf left you because you cannot have sex with him?
I have seen cases where even the boy had Aids but the gf stick to him all the way to his end.
Do you really love him ?
Ask yourself this and I hope that you will give some good thought about it carefully first before you answer this. To love someone is to accept him for wat he is and not just dumping him when you find fault in him.
Sadly in life people will chose the easy way out just leave him, well I will not blame you if you do that. As you are just only a normal human.
We are here to advise you thats all! we CANNOT make any decision for you.
Is you, you will have to face the road you had chosen.
So choose carefully, we were support you no matter what choice you make. -
Funny, how will my reply will differ so much from yours?Originally posted by drx:humm your problem is not new.
Handle 2 case in fact.
Case 1
Guy found not having sex with gf becos his father was beat his mum and him when he was a child. He did not wish his kids to suffer and was turn off sex.
Case 2
Guy found out that that his gf was playing around before he meet her. He was scare that if he have sex with her she would give him Aids. Why do he accept her?? He love her a lot and wanted to protected her but could not bring himself to have sex.
Well for your case my advice for you is simple.
Is to just fellow your heart.
Is having sex so important to you that you must breakup in order to stop thiniking about it ? If yes then is time for you to let him go.
He really deserve someone who can accept him for what he is and not a person who will run when face with a hardship ahead.
I just want to remind you that he too has done a lot for you for this past 2 years. If you are placed in his shoe, will you be heartbroken too if your bf left you because you cannot have sex with him?
I have seen cases where even the boy had Aids but the gf stick to him all the way to his end.
Do you really love him ?
Ask yourself this and I hope that you will give some good thought about it carefully first before you answer this. To love someone is to accept him for wat he is and not just dumping him when you find fault in him.
Sadly in life people will chose the easy way out just leave him, well I will not blame you if you do that. As you are just only a normal human.
We are here to advise you thats all! we CANNOT make any decision for you.
Is you, you will have to face the road you had chosen.
So choose carefully, we were support you no matter what choice you make.
My Advice would be seek professional counsel.
There is a need to find out why his disinterest before any regret is made.
As for Case 1: How was it now? The couple sought help?
Case 2: Quite apperently, the guy wish to protect himself as much as his gf. Well, i wouldn't assume too much. A guy who loves his girlfriend yet consider his life more important than his?
It's not the way he thinks is wrong-it is every man's right to protect him/herself, but the principle of love is contorted...
I leave it to you to think over.
P.S: are you a pro-pre marital sex? -
Just for interest sake. Not intending to pin point at anyone.
Who in here(AA forum) support the idea of pre marital sex? -
I support with the following conditions:
Couple is are matured consenting adults
In a stable long term relationship
Take the necessary precautions to prevent unwanted pregnancy. -
Hi square
I dont support, but neither do I reject the idea.
RegardsOriginally posted by M©+square:Just for interest sake. Not intending to pin point at anyone.
Who in here(AA forum) support the idea of pre marital sex? -
Maybe she is indecisive!!Originally posted by spencer99:You are entitled to your own view.... but if the affected person is happy that she and her bf are showing love in a sufficient way without sxx... it would not be a "problem" to her and she would not have posted it here....
Who knows other than her!!
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Good answer... Though this might not definitely be the case like choco B herself has already suggested, this could also be a rather likely scenerio of sort....Originally posted by choco B:He claims not to have interest in sex... well I assume that he's honest about it. Because if he has physical problems, there are aids for that. Even psychological barriers can be overcome. But the root of the problem must be identified first. If you suspect that he has other issues left unsaid, it's best to check with him again.
If he can't be changed... personally I wouldn't continue a relationship like this. Sex is an intergral part of a relationship. Considering your ages and you're probably not ready to settle down yet, I think there should be other chances of a relationship after him. -
Case 1
Guy found not having sex with gf becos his father was beat his mum and him when he was a child. He did not wish his kids to suffer and was turn off sex.
As for Case 1: How was it now? The couple sought help?
Yes I was able to asked the gf to give him some time first and not to give up so fast..
1) slowly help him massage him on the shoulder to let him relax and get used to her hands.
2) Next try to sleep next to him. give him the comfort of knowing that the gf is not the enemy but the one who is close to him.
3) A bit R lar, so please forgive me, Asked the gf to wear see through dress and while they are alone but refuse any sex. When watching tv togther, ask the guy to lay her head on her bust to give him the max comfort for his head.
4) This case took 1 whole year to solve. The gf did all her best to help in all ways she can, but it took her true love to finally help the guy to gain his trust of her and finally they got married. Well the end result is that they have two cute little kids jumping aound the whole house everytime I visited them. hehe ;p
Case 2
Guy found out that that his gf was playing around before he meet her. He was scare that if he have sex with her she would give him Aids. Why do he accept her?? He love her a lot and wanted to protected her but could not bring himself to have sex.
Case 2: Quite apperently, the guy wish to protect himself as much as his gf. Well, i wouldn't assume too much. A guy who loves his girlfriend yet consider his life more important than his?
It's not the way he thinks is wrong-it is every man's right to protect him/herself, but the principle of love is contorted...
The end result is that the gf got angry, being a sexual active person she felt that he must fullfill her need as her bf. She try to seduce him and force him but it was in vain. In the end she got fed up and started playing around again. They broke up after 1+ year and the guy was in pain, I managed to talk him around and intro him a nice decent girl. They got along fine and getting ROM soon after 3 years of relationship. The first gf is still playing around.
I too agree for " lost little gurl " case that her boyfriend should seek professional counsel but what if it failed? Just want to help her think over the fact, about how deep is her love for her boyfriend. She will have to face the outcome that she may never change her boyfriend mindset about sex. Will she stay on or will she go? I will let her answer this question herself. In a love relationship, it needs lots of understanding in order to make it work.
P.S: are you a pro-pre marital sex?
I believe in sex after marriage. I was brought up in a very strict family up bring so I will more of a conservative. I do not force my own mindset on others as I believe that each person is unique and has his own ways of doing things. Sadly nowadays sex is just a normal day to day activity no longer even worth to be of any mention anymore. -
Both are past cases which are actually solved.
just bring out the cases to help her understand she is not alone with her problem. -
Just to add... He's only 22... Don't totally believe that he won't touch sex forever and worries about it... Unless it's like what Choco B has suggested.. Physical or psychological thing... There would be no guarantee that a person won't change his thinking in the future right...?
Besides.. As you've mentioned that he's previously from a boys' school... Some guys from boys' school might just have a bit more weird kinda thinkings.. But hey! Do give him some time..?? Remember like I've said, things might easily change in the future....
Another thing to mention... Unless he's g@y? 
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i know im thinking abit ahead right?
but what weird ideas you mean? -
Has he been thru some trauma tt turned him off sex? Or perhaps he experiences physical discomfort during sex? If u noe the cause of it, u might be able to seek professional help.
Oso, if both of u r v. young, then his aversion to sex may Not be permanent. It may be his belief now, but tt cld change as he matures. Whether u wanna continue being wif him is up to u, whether u wan to take the risk in finding out later whether his views towards sex has changed.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by lost little gurl:my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. although we do cuddled, kiss and the regular stuff, he had stayed away from sex. then only recently he told me he dont want to have sex - ever. he assure me he's not gay, but he really has no interest in sex, so if i want to be with him that means we will never have sex. i try to understand but...will i be too mean if i break up with him? now ok maybe but forever??
if you are me what will you do? -
MC,
It depends on the circumstances & the situation. I'm okie wif pre-marital sex, but I'm Not okie wif pre-marital CASUAL sex.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by M©+square:Just for interest sake. Not intending to pin point at anyone.
Who in here(AA forum) support the idea of pre marital sex? -
That should be a NEW topic altogether.Originally posted by M©+square:Just for interest sake. Not intending to pin point at anyone.
Who in here(AA forum) support the idea of pre marital sex?
Cheers
