to love or to hate
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Can treat them nice... But don't treat them too nice until it's unreasonable mah.... Otherwise you'll just have to wait and clear your own funeral as usual lor...?Originally posted by slamdoink:thanks mates...
actually i met up with my ex yesterday and i told her wat happen... she said im too nice to a girl, which is a good thing but you will get bully in return... i broke up with my ex not becos we dun love each other but is much much older than mi... (5 years older and age is the only wall that we have... beside that im cool) that is wat she claimed...
i told her i will only get bully by the girl i love cos i allow her to... so yes is kind of sad but i just dun understand why this keep happening to mi... 3 different girls!!! shit man...
is there something wrong about my view towards relationship... treating a girl with respect they deserve is a no no or should i treat them like a bitch...
sigh
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well...wat u did was something touching u noe...not everyone could do tat...no one can pull u out of e black hole...but jus urself...u do oso earn my respect...Originally posted by slamdoink:Well, it had happened againÂ… this time round I lose the battle. My gf went to work as usual and I asked if she wanted mi to fetch her home after her work. She said she need to do OT and might be late. So I said ok and if you changed your mind, I will be here.
The next morning, I received an SMS from her. She told me she met up with her ex and her ex told her; he wanted to settle down with her as in get married with her. They told thru the nite and they make out.
I was shocked when she told mi that and the first thing that comes to my mind wasnÂ’t the make out part but rather would she still want mi? we talked for couple of hours and she hinted she wanted to be with me. She just need time to settle things with him. And she did!!! He was out of her life!!! However he played the disappearing act and it caught my gf attention. She felt lost and seems like she cant live without him!!!
They patched back after she told me she had chosen mi. she say sorrie and sorrieÂ… im not angry with her actually I encourage her. Cos if you never try, you will always be bother about thisÂ… am I stupid or watÂ… but I just lost the battleÂ…
i love her a lot but i cant bear to see her to be sad... well once always say is better to have two happy person rather than to have three sad people...
but i really love her... can someone just pull mi out from this black hole!!! -
Well...the truth is she loves her ex more than you and because they had a history together makes her ex closer to her than you.Originally posted by slamdoink:Well, it had happened againÂ… this time round I lose the battle. My gf went to work as usual and I asked if she wanted mi to fetch her home after her work. She said she need to do OT and might be late. So I said ok and if you changed your mind, I will be here.
The next morning, I received an SMS from her. She told me she met up with her ex and her ex told her; he wanted to settle down with her as in get married with her. They told thru the nite and they make out.
I was shocked when she told mi that and the first thing that comes to my mind wasnÂ’t the make out part but rather would she still want mi? we talked for couple of hours and she hinted she wanted to be with me. She just need time to settle things with him. And she did!!! He was out of her life!!! However he played the disappearing act and it caught my gf attention. She felt lost and seems like she cant live without him!!!
They patched back after she told me she had chosen mi. she say sorrie and sorrieÂ… im not angry with her actually I encourage her. Cos if you never try, you will always be bother about thisÂ… am I stupid or watÂ… but I just lost the battleÂ…
i love her a lot but i cant bear to see her to be sad... well once always say is better to have two happy person rather than to have three sad people...
but i really love her... can someone just pull mi out from this black hole!!!
When she chose to make out with her ex, you should leave her. Forgiveness is no doubt a divine act, but in this case...she needs to learn a lesson and forgiveness doesn't comes that early in her life.
You can still forgive her...when she's rotting to death on her death bed...sure...why not?
You'll get over this soon enough since you've encouraged her to be with her ex, this proves that you don't really love her at that time...maybe you are also seeking a peaceful yet alternative way out of this relationship?
Hmm...whatever it may be, good luck on your next relationship. You have became the good guy for now.
Good luck. -
well i also dun know where i should start...
Yunhaier:
well not very long... 4 months?? and we knew each other at our friend's wedding dinner... im a leo (which mean i wun show her any sign of weakness) and she is a Sagittarius... you know wat makes mi puzzled?? i was surprising her by sending flowers to her in the morning and she told mi how much she love mi etc... at nite she make out with her ex...
so should i say i really never expect this to happen...
mahai102:
im 25 this year... hey thanks for your encouraging words... i really mean it... but i dun believe in fucking her cheebai until it bleeds or should i say wat is the point of having sex with her when her heart is not with you... might as well go to geland and find one?? having sex is something special and you do it with someone you really love... and i love her... maybe that's why i can forgive her when she slept with another guy... cos i know she was just making a mistaken...
parn:
should i say i love her too much to see her suffering...
i went to her house last nite to have a final showdown... i really give in a lot during the time we broke up... i dun mind her sleeping with her ex, i just want her back... she told mi she still love her ex but will break up with him cos she cant see a future with him... then why be together?? rather she can see a future with mi...
i know she is finding something to fall back on n i dun mind... i told her all this and yet she still choose him over mi... even though she see no future with him... when i told her if i walk away, i will forget you slowly... she stop mi...
but at the end of the day, she still let mi go...
i can see how painful her heart is and i also know she love him a lot... walking away from her or not able to fight for my happiness doesnt mean i dun love her... i really love her but is just that im making her life easlier... she is just waiting one of us to step back... and i know i have to be out of this circle...
it is a very pain thing to do and i do regret it but i have no choice...
i love her too much... -
It is saddening to hear that you have suffered the agony of being cheated on by not one, but three different unfaithful girls to whom you have given your heart. You seem to have the knack of picking the wrong people to fall in love with.
Am no expert in this area, but if you do not want the same thing to repeat for the fourth time and possibly turn you into a misogynist, you may wish to consider changing either:
1. Your perception of an ideal mate, or
2. Your treatment towards a loved one, or
3. Both of the above.
For perception, perhaps you have chosen your past girlfriends based solely on their looks, rather than on their characters? Please do not take it to mean that good looks and good characters are exclusive of each other. Just trying to point out a logical assumption that good-looking girls tend to attract more attention, hence have more alternatives to choose from (some translate this as more temptation and more opportunities to cheat).
For treatment, I'm not advocating you to behave like a jerk from now on, but perhaps you may have been too nice and "clingy" in your past relationships? Read some of the other posts in this forum, maybe you might find some similar lessons and gain insight from other people's experiences.
Hope these pointers could help you avoid a fourth heartbreak. Good luck. -
like u said, u've lost the battle... so go heal your wounds and start fighting afresh.
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Well, you'll find someone better than her and I hope you will. Must live a better life than her hor..Originally posted by slamdoink:well i also dun know where i should start...
parn:
should i say i love her too much to see her suffering...
i went to her house last nite to have a final showdown... i really give in a lot during the time we broke up... i dun mind her sleeping with her ex, i just want her back... she told mi she still love her ex but will break up with him cos she cant see a future with him... then why be together?? rather she can see a future with mi...
i know she is finding something to fall back on n i dun mind... i told her all this and yet she still choose him over mi... even though she see no future with him... when i told her if i walk away, i will forget you slowly... she stop mi...
but at the end of the day, she still let mi go...
i can see how painful her heart is and i also know she love him a lot... walking away from her or not able to fight for my happiness doesnt mean i dun love her... i really love her but is just that im making her life easlier... she is just waiting one of us to step back... and i know i have to be out of this circle...
it is a very pain thing to do and i do regret it but i have no choice...
i love her too much... -
Originally posted by slamdoink:Well, it had happened againÂ… this time round I lose the battle. My gf went to work as usual and I asked if she wanted mi to fetch her home after her work. She said she need to do OT and might be late. So I said ok and if you changed your mind, I will be here.
The next morning, I received an SMS from her. She told me she met up with her ex and her ex told her; he wanted to settle down with her as in get married with her. They told thru the nite and they make out.
I was shocked when she told mi that and the first thing that comes to my mind wasnÂ’t the make out part but rather would she still want mi? we talked for couple of hours and she hinted she wanted to be with me. She just need time to settle things with him. And she did!!! He was out of her life!!! However he played the disappearing act and it caught my gf attention. She felt lost and seems like she cant live without him!!!
They patched back after she told me she had chosen mi. she say sorrie and sorrieÂ… im not angry with her actually I encourage her. Cos if you never try, you will always be bother about thisÂ… am I stupid or watÂ… but I just lost the battleÂ…
i love her a lot but i cant bear to see her to be sad... well once always say is better to have two happy person rather than to have three sad people...
but i really love her... can someone just pull mi out from this black hole!!!
It's a young relationship unaccustomed to its new future; your love is 4 months old, but it seemed that life before the relationship is born is pretty vague. It seemed to me that you don't really know the woman you are getting before jumping into a relationship. If she has an unsettled affair/relationship with her ex, by knowing that piece of information in the first place, would it change anything? Possibly, it would caution yourself before devoting your time and love into this BGR.
Interestingly, you are not really bothered by her act of infidelity, but the question of whether she wants the relationship hovers your heart. And what on earth are you encouraging her? A love blinded Leo? Blinded by the affection and love this karmic relationship brings forth and veils your senses?
Don't be a fool.
If you can't bear to see her sad and since she loved her ex, probably as much as you did to her, then what's holding you back? What's holding you back, if you truely understood what you just posted?
You are likely a substitute/rebound for her ex and she played an emotional parasite on her part. She wants to move on, but the variables were: she got into a relationship with you and trying to move WHILE handling you and her past simultaneously. This process leeched emotional energy, mental strength and summon rain of tears. Somewhat like a soul being captured by demonic powers and you are needed to remove that vile thing. Of course, you will be drained... probably to death, dry and parched. She was never ready for a relationship with you - this is a untold truth.
Why?
If love is in the picture, would that scenario ever happen? She would probably struggle emotionally, but it could still be manageable. Making out? Can't live without him? Leave you whenever she found his presence? Is this the so called love you are getting?
Don't be deluded by false love; she has made her choice. It's your call.
Cheers -
i feel that there is no point in advicing him at all.
he is too in "love " with someone who no longer likes him.
There is nothing we can say too change his mind.
Never mind lar just let him go suffer the pain then he will know.
go ahead lar.. is ok.. go and use your love to change the girl. -
there is such a thing as being in love with her, and yet walking away from her...
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Thanks everyoneÂ…
I know I should move on with itÂ… no point crying over something which is not yours anymoreÂ… I used to tell my friend wat is yours is yoursÂ… and now I just have to keep telling that to myself,
I have slowly removed her from my heart but I dun know how to face herÂ… she sms mi yesterday, asking mi to send her that short video that we took together using my hpÂ… I din reply her and at the same time I feel like im so pettyÂ… so uncool of mi to do thisÂ… I should be more gentleman and tok to herÂ… but im afraid that my feelings for her will keep pouring out againÂ… please advice, wat should I do??
Nevertheless, thanks everyone is going to be a hard and long weekend for mi but no matter wat, I will surviveÂ…
ThanksÂ… -
If you can't handle her in a gentlemanly manner... I'll personally advise you NOT to ACT like one... You probably won't be able to handle the situation. Avoiding her is good enough for now.Originally posted by slamdoink:Thanks everyoneÂ…
I know I should move on with itÂ… no point crying over something which is not yours anymoreÂ… I used to tell my friend wat is yours is yoursÂ… and now I just have to keep telling that to myself,
I have slowly removed her from my heart but I dun know how to face herÂ… she sms mi yesterday, asking mi to send her that short video that we took together using my hpÂ… I din reply her and at the same time I feel like im so pettyÂ… so uncool of mi to do thisÂ… I should be more gentleman and tok to herÂ… but im afraid that my feelings for her will keep pouring out againÂ… please advice, wat should I do??
Nevertheless, thanks everyone is going to be a hard and long weekend for mi but no matter wat, I will surviveÂ…
ThanksÂ…