Changes In Views Of Love
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Hi All,
I've read some things in this forum, as well as spoken to some younger people (including my nephew, who's 6 years younger than I). It occurred to me how my past views are echoed in these young people, whereas my own thoughts about love have changed.
I used to imagine that love will all be roses, that my bf will fetch me after classes (sometimes with roses in hand, of course
*giggles*), buys me soft toys, treats me to a meal at Denny's, candlelit dinner on V Day & anniversaries, blah blah blah... When there was a quarrel or argument, I'd get so upset & break things off. There was ONE difference, however, I was never 1 of those needy people My 1st love once told me he was so lucky that I'd let him go out with his friends for boy's days out, etc...
I used to imagine that I'd marry a guy who's rich, driven, poised, (maybe a banker, or lawyer?) with a fancy car... We'd work very hard together & accumulate our wealth, then we'd enjoy holidays & expensive meals, designer clothing, etc. We zip around town in his fancy car.
I'm now 28 (fine, I'm NOT secretive about age, can?), & after having relationships, I've realised what love, at least what works for me, is all about (to me also, it doesn't necessarily work for everybody). I learnt about commitment, to give 100% in the relationship. When there're problems, of course I get upset, but it isn't the end of the world, nor the end of the relationship. I learnt Not to sweat the small stuff, & when we argue (which is very seldom), 1 of us gives in pretty quickly, so that we don't stay upset for too long.
I learnt that the 1 for me doesn't necessarily need to be rich nor driven, as long as he spends time with me, & he feels I'm perfect for him. I learnt that I don't need candlelit meals for romance; dinners cooked by him are much more romantic, when I can hold him from the back whilst he's stirring in the ingredients, & when he feeds me little morsels to taste.
I learnt that to spoil someone doesn't necessarily mean to buy little things for him now & then, but to give him my attention, my time, my support & my affection. Hugs, kisses & words of advice or just a listening ear are much better than a teddy bear soft toy.
I learnt how much he loves me, is also partly measured by how much he's willing to forgive me.........
I'm still learning everyday, & I thank my guy for the lessons he taught me about love, forgiveness, tolerance & being happy together.
Sorry for the long-winded blah blah blah, I'm just musing : ) Or day-dreaming, as he calls it And I do it when I'm happy : )
FeowFeow -
thanks for posting this.....very meaningful to read abt it....Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi All,
I've read some things in this forum, as well as spoken to some younger people (including my nephew, who's 6 years younger than I). It occurred to me how my past views are echoed in these young people, whereas my own thoughts about love have changed.
I used to imagine that love will all be roses, that my bf will fetch me after classes (sometimes with roses in hand, of course *giggles*), buys me soft toys, treats me to a meal at Denny's, candlelit dinner on V Day & anniversaries, blah blah blah... When there was a quarrel or argument, I'd get so upset & break things off. There was ONE difference, however, I was never 1 of those needy people My 1st love once told me he was so lucky that I'd let him go out with his friends for boy's days out, etc...
I used to imagine that I'd marry a guy who's rich, driven, poised, (maybe a banker, or lawyer?) with a fancy car... We'd work very hard together & accumulate our wealth, then we'd enjoy holidays & expensive meals, designer clothing, etc. We zip around town in his fancy car.
I'm now 28 (fine, I'm NOT secretive about age, can?), & after having relationships, I've realised what love, at least what works for me, is all about (to me also, it doesn't necessarily work for everybody). I learnt about commitment, to give 100% in the relationship. When there're problems, of course I get upset, but it isn't the end of the world, nor the end of the relationship. I learnt Not to sweat the small stuff, & when we argue (which is very seldom), 1 of us gives in pretty quickly, so that we don't stay upset for too long.
I learnt that the 1 for me doesn't necessarily need to be rich nor driven, as long as he spends time with me, & he feels I'm perfect for him. I learnt that I don't need candlelit meals for romance; dinners cooked by him are much more romantic, when I can hold him from the back whilst he's stirring in the ingredients, & when he feeds me little morsels to taste.
I learnt that to spoil someone doesn't necessarily mean to buy little things for him now & then, but to give him my attention, my time, my support & my affection. Hugs, kisses & words of advice or just a listening ear are much better than a teddy bear soft toy.
I learnt how much he loves me, is also partly measured by how much he's willing to forgive me.........
I'm still learning everyday, & I thank my guy for the lessons he taught me about love, forgiveness, tolerance & being happy together.
Sorry for the long-winded blah blah blah, I'm just musing : ) Or day-dreaming, as he calls it And I do it when I'm happy : )
FeowFeow
the statements i highlighted is the best quotes i like...
wishing u a good and healthy r/s with ur love love....all the best......
ah cind
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Thanks
You have No idea how many failed relationships it took me to find such bliss... But I'm glad I got there
FeowFeowOriginally posted by cindtan29:thanks for posting this.....very meaningful to read abt it....
the statements i highlighted is the best quotes i like...
wishing u a good and healthy r/s with ur love love....all the best......
ah cind -
so sweet...
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Thanks, actually, my guy is. He taught me so much : )
1 day, you may fall into musing, like me, & you'll realise that you've grown in the space of 10 years or so. Then you'll smile when you talk to the young ones, because you can hear your past thoughts echoed by them : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:so sweet... -
Well , that wat my guy fren told me also... sometime we read too much into our mate material needs ... maybe just simple things like emotional support will do.. . hope i find a nice gal like feow feow soon... lucky boyfriend she has
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Originally posted by FeowFeow:Thanks, actually, my guy is. He taught me so much : )
1 day, you may fall into musing, like me, & you'll realise that you've grown in the space of 10 years or so. Then you'll smile when you talk to the young ones, because you can hear your past thoughts echoed by them : )
FeowFeow
I nv expected or imagined to have a rich bf who showered me with lots of gifts etc..
I said sweet as in the sweetness he gives u ba..esp the part..hold his back while he's stirring the ingredients..it's really something worth looking forward to..to do things together..juz some simple daily chores..the sweetness and the tmm feeling hahaha...I'm envious of you. -
ahh.. i've figured some things out
and you may not believe it, but i am glad as heck for you
may your days be filled with love and joy -
Thank you, & I wish the same for you.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by the Bear:ahh.. i've figured some things out
and you may not believe it, but i am glad as heck for you
may your days be filled with love and joy -
You see only my musings, & you think my guy's lucky If you actually see how my guy treats me, you'll know that I'm actually the lucky 1
What I do, is Nothing compared to what he's done for me, & what he continues to do. We did say once, & from time to time, that ours may Not be a perfect relationship, but it damn well is near perfect 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by seancannot:Well , that wat my guy fren told me also... sometime we read too much into our mate material needs ... maybe just simple things like emotional support will do.. . hope i find a nice gal like feow feow soon... lucky boyfriend she has -
Yah lorr, I do that to him when he's cooking, then he'll turn around & feed me a small piece to taste what he's cooking He can't do that to me, since I can't cook
But he also holds me from the back too, especially when we're silent. Then I'll sink contentedly back in his arms... There's this warm, fuzzy feeling
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
I nv expected or imagined to have a rich bf who showered me with lots of gifts etc..
I said sweet as in the sweetness he gives u ba..esp the part..hold his back while he's stirring the ingredients..it's really something worth looking forward to..to do things together..juz some simple daily chores..the sweetness and the tmm feeling hahaha...I'm envious of you. -
I'm hungryOriginally posted by FeowFeow:Yah lorr, I do that to him when he's cooking, then he'll turn around & feed me a small piece to taste what he's cooking He can't do that to me, since I can't cook
But he also holds me from the back too, especially when we're silent. Then I'll sink contentedly back in his arms... There's this warm, fuzzy feeling
FeowFeow
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Originally posted by FeowFeow:Yah lorr, I do that to him when he's cooking, then he'll turn around & feed me a small piece to taste what he's cooking He can't do that to me, since I can't cook
But he also holds me from the back too, especially when we're silent. Then I'll sink contentedly back in his arms... There's this warm, fuzzy feeling
FeowFeow
aren't u motivated to learn cooking bcos of him? You can do the same too! Sure he would be touched. -
Believe me dear, I tried
But aiyo, turned out such a disaster when compared to his delicious meals So I do the washing up, & he gives me a kiss now & then whilst I soap & rinse the dishes
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
aren't u motivated to learn cooking bcos of him? You can do the same too! Sure he would be touched. -
I think there should be some Maggi noodles in your cupboard
FeowFeowOriginally posted by kopiosatu:I'm hungry -
feowfeow,
glad to see you find bliss in the little little things in your r/s. thank you for this thread. meaningful piece and very enlightening. u taught uncle agony a lot of things about r/s here. -
*Simple Bear filled with envy...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi All,
I've read some things in this forum, as well as spoken to some younger people (including my nephew, who's 6 years younger than I). It occurred to me how my past views are echoed in these young people, whereas my own thoughts about love have changed.
I used to imagine that love will all be roses, that my bf will fetch me after classes (sometimes with roses in hand, of course *giggles*), buys me soft toys, treats me to a meal at Denny's, candlelit dinner on V Day & anniversaries, blah blah blah... When there was a quarrel or argument, I'd get so upset & break things off. There was ONE difference, however, I was never 1 of those needy people My 1st love once told me he was so lucky that I'd let him go out with his friends for boy's days out, etc...
I used to imagine that I'd marry a guy who's rich, driven, poised, (maybe a banker, or lawyer?) with a fancy car... We'd work very hard together & accumulate our wealth, then we'd enjoy holidays & expensive meals, designer clothing, etc. We zip around town in his fancy car.
I'm now 28 (fine, I'm NOT secretive about age, can?), & after having relationships, I've realised what love, at least what works for me, is all about (to me also, it doesn't necessarily work for everybody). I learnt about commitment, to give 100% in the relationship. When there're problems, of course I get upset, but it isn't the end of the world, nor the end of the relationship. I learnt Not to sweat the small stuff, & when we argue (which is very seldom), 1 of us gives in pretty quickly, so that we don't stay upset for too long.
I learnt that the 1 for me doesn't necessarily need to be rich nor driven, as long as he spends time with me, & he feels I'm perfect for him. I learnt that I don't need candlelit meals for romance; dinners cooked by him are much more romantic, when I can hold him from the back whilst he's stirring in the ingredients, & when he feeds me little morsels to taste.
I learnt that to spoil someone doesn't necessarily mean to buy little things for him now & then, but to give him my attention, my time, my support & my affection. Hugs, kisses & words of advice or just a listening ear are much better than a teddy bear soft toy.
I learnt how much he loves me, is also partly measured by how much he's willing to forgive me.........
I'm still learning everyday, & I thank my guy for the lessons he taught me about love, forgiveness, tolerance & being happy together.
Sorry for the long-winded blah blah blah, I'm just musing : ) Or day-dreaming, as he calls it And I do it when I'm happy : )
FeowFeow
So sweet...cannt tahan...*tks a piece of chocolate and eat... -
seemed like me?
Yeah our ideals and perspective changes when we age with experiences and situations.
May you ever grow and progress.
Cheers -
sweetz.... may u n ur bf stay hapi.....
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Indeed a welcome change from the depressing posts we've recently seen around here.
Thanks for sharing. May you and your intended end up in matrimonial bliss like your parents. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:Believe me dear, I tried
But aiyo, turned out such a disaster when compared to his delicious meals So I do the washing up, & he gives me a kiss now & then whilst I soap & rinse the dishes
FeowFeow
haha...how fortunate u are. -
Harlow : )
It works both ways, I suppose. I wouldn't have been so fulfilled if my guy didn't feel the same way. It helps being the best of friends, & Not sweating the small stuff. We give each other space also... He's taught me alot : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by bratpig:feowfeow,
glad to see you find bliss in the little little things in your r/s. thank you for this thread. meaningful piece and very enlightening. u taught uncle agony a lot of things about r/s here. -
It's a growing process, I wasn't so fulfilled in 1 day, you know? We ironed things out along the way, understood when each other felt stressed out, & hence were snappy, that kinda thing.
It's Not all roses, FYI, we do argue once in awhile, but usually, 1 of us will give way simply because the matters are mostly trivial & Not worth arguing about. And our pact was Not to go to dreamland without kissing & making up : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Simple_Bear:*Simple Bear filled with envy...
So sweet...cannt tahan...*tks a piece of chocolate and eat... -
Thank you, MC : )
I wish you the same, that you'll find happiness & contentment : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by M©+square:seemed like me?
Yeah our ideals and perspective changes when we age with experiences and situations.
May you ever grow and progress.
Cheers -
Thank you : ) Revelling in life's simple pleasures can be utterly romantic : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by BrUtUs:sweetz.... may u n ur bf stay hapi.....