My story( please read and give ur kind advice)
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Dear c2on2,
*bleah* I gave you my reply in another thread when you posted your problem there
Nevermind, because you're so obviously hurting & confused, I'll vomit out everything again for you...
Basically, you're Not even in a relationship with this girl, & she can be so critical of you?! There're such things as constructive criticism, & her kind does NOT fall in this category. Constructive criticism is to help you improve on yourself, but how are you gonna grow taller & grow your shoulder bones & blades? This is Not constructive criticism.
What in the world is she looking for? Someone to love or a Hollywood idol to idolise?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by c2on2:it was more than half a year ago, when i first saw the gal in my one of my uni classes. Back then, i developed a crush for her but secretly just keep it by myself and din do anything about it.We were not even friends but i think were just merely classmates who knew each other's names as we were in a particular module's class. Time pass and its a new semester, we are now totally different classes and there was no chance of meeting each other. Somehow as i was helping my fren to buy some things, i managed to get her hp number as my fren told her that she also wanted to buy. So as a kind and helpful person, i sms her regarding this and din wanna expect much as i just oni wanna help out of kindness with no other intentions. i would say its a miracle out of the blue when we actually start to be friends. There were MSN chats, smses. And slowly i felt this gal whom is my secret crush is trying to get to know me. Until one day, she asked me out for some activity. And tats when we started chatting on the telephone. I did some soul searching and considerations, thinking why not try to be closer to her since she is my crush and i felt there was some interest. so i proceeded to accelarate and get closer to her. We chatted a lot, sms more, tok on the fone too , started to sit together at the lectures and occasionally have meals and go out together. All this gave me an impression that its possible between me and her. and i decided to confess my feelings to her on valentines day that i like her. She did not comment much but also did not reject me. So our normal activities like chatting, sitting together, msging one another, etc continues. until one day i asked her to be my gf. Again she did not accept and did not reject or avoid me. So i was rather confident that i can get this gal to be my gf. thinking that she wanted to wait after the dreaded exams. i continue to shower her with sincere care and concern. until one day , i found out from her that she is uncertain if i am the guy for her. and has no confidence and assurance if this relationship will work out well. I was very sad but persisted to fight for what i cherish. I told her i love her and have a serious talk with her. She felt the love from me from the things i did, and she appreciate some of them which i had done for her. but she claimed tat she felt my courting is not enough. i was also commented as being a boring person and unromantic. timid and scared of things and need to be more man. The way i dress when i went to meet her for dates and the my height and unbroad shoulders were also mentioned. I was kinda disappointed in this gal whom i love so dearly. i feel that She is demanding a lot from me. and din realli get to know my good points. though i admit i can an ordinary guy with no riches, no car, and oni mediocal looks. Unromantic as i seemed, but deep down i know she understands that i sincerely care and love her. Those small simple things which i had done for her. i feel unappreciated. Is it because she is rather immature in the way she defines her suitable guy? is there really a criteria or a limit as to what type of person u will love? she is also not perfect but i had unconditionally accept her to be my soul mate whom i placed at the centre of my universe. seemed to me that she wanted to some changes in me and she told me i also need to think of more ways to convince her to accept me as her guy. Seems to me she does not like me for who i am. I had talks with my close friends who told me to just give her up cause its a presurrising and unhappy relationship if somehow i managed to court her. kind people of aunt agony, pls share ur advice to me. i am on at a loss. could she be playing with my feelings all along?
Thanks for your kind help/advice. -
http://www.laddertheory.com
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U won't be happy in this type of relationship if your partner always criticises u.
She has high expectations which u are unable to meet.
It will be bad for your self esteem if she is always finding faults.
Better look for someone who appreciates u for what u are. -
Devil, you know how to tell pple personality by their ages,course and horoscopes meh??Originally posted by Devil1976:Personally, I feel that there could be 2 main possible scenerio here...
1. She has a high expectation for her boyfriend. She feels for your love, but she's telling you that you're not up to her standard yet.
2. She feels for your love, but thinks that you'll need to do more to convince her that you're worthy to be her boyfriend.
Would you like to tell me both of your ages, course and horoscopes
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c2on2,
Firstly, the crush you had might be a puppy love which might go off soon or later. From my point of view, the gal you like might interested in you too..so don't feel discourage. If she is not interested in you, she won't even bother to critise you.
Saying that "i was also commented as being a boring person and unromantic. timid and scared of things and need to be more man. The way i dress when i went to meet her for dates and the my height and unbroad shoulders were also mentioned. "..might be because why she still like to with you. (Some gals are like that one.)
I feel that you should continue to woo her cos some gals are really play-hard to get..since she told you that "She felt the love from me from the things i did, and she appreciate some of them which i had done for her but she claimed tat she felt my courting is not enough"..why not try even harder to get the gal you love??
Hope that you will have a happy relationship. Best wishes. 
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Originally posted by CrystalGal:
One has known quite a few married female co-workers who enjoy dishing criticisms at people, not because they are interested in those people, but solely for the fun of it.
If she is not interested in you, she won't even bother to critise you.
Comments on a person's physical flaws and imperfections certainly do not come to mind as constructive criticism. Besides, one fears that the poor guy may strive to overcome his physical flaws only to discover more criticisms in store for him from the girl. -
Totally agree. I've known some women who constantly criticise, Not just their husbands, but their own children as well, even when the children are trying the best they can be. For some warped reason (perhaps they don't like seeing others happy), they are even able to justify their criticisms!
They like to comment on beady eyes (read: eyes Not as big as theirs), puffy faces or whatever, whether or Not they know or don't know that their comments reduce the self-esteem of the person they're criticising.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:One has known quite a few married female co-workers who enjoy dishing criticisms at people, not because they are interested in those people, but solely for the fun of it.
Comments on a person's physical flaws and imperfections certainly do not come to mind as constructive criticism. Besides, one fears that the poor guy may strive to overcome his physical flaws only to discover more criticisms in store for him from the girl. -
That's not exactly my speciality, but sometimes additional information can help?Originally posted by CrystalGal:Devil, you know how to tell pple personality by their ages,course and horoscopes meh?? -
Ihave some advice for you..... the next time u type a story. Please split them int paragraphs.... it will be so much more easy to read compared to one huge chunk of letters....Originally posted by c2on2:it was more than half a year ago, when i first saw the gal in my one of my uni classes. Back then, i developed a crush for her but secretly just keep it by myself and din do anything about it.We were not even friends but i think were just merely classmates who knew each other's names as we were in a particular module's class. Time pass and its a new semester, we are now totally different classes and there was no chance of meeting each other. Somehow as i was helping my fren to buy some things, i managed to get her hp number as my fren told her that she also wanted to buy. So as a kind and helpful person, i sms her regarding this and din wanna expect much as i just oni wanna help out of kindness with no other intentions. i would say its a miracle out of the blue when we actually start to be friends. There were MSN chats, smses. And slowly i felt this gal whom is my secret crush is trying to get to know me. Until one day, she asked me out for some activity. And tats when we started chatting on the telephone. I did some soul searching and considerations, thinking why not try to be closer to her since she is my crush and i felt there was some interest. so i proceeded to accelarate and get closer to her. We chatted a lot, sms more, tok on the fone too , started to sit together at the lectures and occasionally have meals and go out together. All this gave me an impression that its possible between me and her. and i decided to confess my feelings to her on valentines day that i like her. She did not comment much but also did not reject me. So our normal activities like chatting, sitting together, msging one another, etc continues. until one day i asked her to be my gf. Again she did not accept and did not reject or avoid me. So i was rather confident that i can get this gal to be my gf. thinking that she wanted to wait after the dreaded exams. i continue to shower her with sincere care and concern. until one day , i found out from her that she is uncertain if i am the guy for her. and has no confidence and assurance if this relationship will work out well. I was very sad but persisted to fight for what i cherish. I told her i love her and have a serious talk with her. She felt the love from me from the things i did, and she appreciate some of them which i had done for her. but she claimed tat she felt my courting is not enough. i was also commented as being a boring person and unromantic. timid and scared of things and need to be more man. The way i dress when i went to meet her for dates and the my height and unbroad shoulders were also mentioned. I was kinda disappointed in this gal whom i love so dearly. i feel that She is demanding a lot from me. and din realli get to know my good points. though i admit i can an ordinary guy with no riches, no car, and oni mediocal looks. Unromantic as i seemed, but deep down i know she understands that i sincerely care and love her. Those small simple things which i had done for her. i feel unappreciated. Is it because she is rather immature in the way she defines her suitable guy? is there really a criteria or a limit as to what type of person u will love? she is also not perfect but i had unconditionally accept her to be my soul mate whom i placed at the centre of my universe. seemed to me that she wanted to some changes in me and she told me i also need to think of more ways to convince her to accept me as her guy. Seems to me she does not like me for who i am. I had talks with my close friends who told me to just give her up cause its a presurrising and unhappy relationship if somehow i managed to court her. kind people of aunt agony, pls share ur advice to me. i am on at a loss. could she be playing with my feelings all along?
Thanks for your kind help/advice.