Originally posted by subarugal:
Sigh...
well me get to know a guy in the net.. somehow initially he show and express interested to know me. After chatting online for 4mths, we went on a date, after the date the guy express interest towards me. After knowing for 6mths dwn the rd i accepted him.
But recently i notice he change no longer so attentive to me.
And found out from net he is hunting to know more new gals.
Whether he got invite them to date i dnt noe.
Now my questions is shld i give him up ?
Or shld i confront him saying i noe his activites.. but these ways might spark off a arguements. althoug fren say its ok for him to befriend opposite sex. But if he purposely do so, i cnt accept that.
Shld i talk to him n listen to what he say ?
those gals in his network cnt be his colleg as he work in a all male working enviornment.
What is the best advice for this if u were me ?

Well, I'll start telling you from guys perspective. Some guys have short attention span and like a child within themselves, they're curious about relationship and love. However even the best toys given to a child can be easily upstaged by a better toy few days later. I'm not saying that you're his toy or he's toying around with you...it's just the easiest way that I thought I could relate it to you.
It's natural that guys would still want to know more girls...as much as he could possibly grab hold of. It's like a world conquest for all the male species...

and it does boost his ego and make him feel more confident about himself and his present and the life ahead. It just give a boy a man's confidence, which is necessary most of the time so that the boys will grow up to be confident straight males.
Hmm...you sounds like he's your first-boyfriend, which is probably true by the way you reacted. Well, there's nothing wrong with his interest to know 50% of the world population. (50% guys, 50% girls...

) Everybody is curious about their charm and charisma and everyone wants to be the ever popular prom king/queen of the ball.

It's the same for girls too, gals will also think if her bf is 'The One' for her even when they haven't met any guys better than her current bf...and that thought most often leads to an affair and some disastrous outcomes in a relationship. It's perfectly normal for anyone to have such thoughts at least once in their life, afterall we're all emotional beings.

You are feeling insecure about his behaviour and you should let him know about it.

Don't worry about leading it into a quarrel if you can understand what I'm going to tell you.

You're probably upset that he hidden his activities from you, do not fret...he is afraid to upset you and that's why it was hidden from you. Right now you're facing a barrier in your relationship and both of you are still very much learning how to grow your relationship. You want to know if he still love you? I'm sure he still loves you cos if he don't, he wouldn't have make the effort to made you his girlfriend. And you must be really special to him, else he would've remained as just a normal friend with you.

He still comes back to you at the end of the day, doesn't he?

Be gracious, although it's a difficult thing to do so...but it's the most powerful weapon for girls to use against guys if deployed in the correct manner.

Being gracious doesn't means tolerating his lovey-dovey intimate smses to other girls. It means taking a step back from this relationship and looking at your relationship from a wider view from your perspective. Confrontations are best to be avoided at all cost, as it doesn't help to improve anything in a relationship except to strain it.
Listen to what he have to say, and you'll know his intentions...from a girl's hunch. I can't tell you if he's a bad guy who planned to cheat you of your feelings and body. But you know him better than anyone else here, so judge him based on who you know he really is. Take a time-out from your relationship only when you're really unsure of his intentions towards you and this relationship itself. Time-out means temporary separation for both of you to see the bigger picture of the mess that was once a relationship.
If he still loves you and treasure this relationship with you, he will know what to do. He will do anything to preserve this relationship, yes he will.

Hehehehe...there isn't just one way to let him know about your frustrations. The best way that I recommend is to get him a card, and tell him what you feel.

Do remember to let him know that you wished that he will spend more time with you than with other girls.

(That's evil....:lol

And allow the neglecting factor to be the main reason for getting him a card rather than the other girls issues.

Cards are necessary and when you really need them for situations like this, it's money well-spent even though you might wondered why they're being overpriced sometimes.

(I'm not a card seller

)
Good luck.
