Met a insincere new boyfren
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Originally posted by subarugal:Sigh...
well me get to know a guy in the net.. somehow initially he show and express interested to know me. After chatting online for 4mths, we went on a date, after the date the guy express interest towards me. After knowing for 6mths dwn the rd i accepted him.
But recently i notice he change no longer so attentive to me.
And found out from net he is hunting to know more new gals.
Whether he got invite them to date i dnt noe.
Now my questions is shld i give him up ?
Or shld i confront him saying i noe his activites.. but these ways might spark off a arguements. althoug fren say its ok for him to befriend opposite sex. But if he purposely do so, i cnt accept that.
Shld i talk to him n listen to what he say ?
those gals in his network cnt be his colleg as he work in a all male working enviornment.
What is the best advice for this if u were me ?
Well, I'll start telling you from guys perspective. Some guys have short attention span and like a child within themselves, they're curious about relationship and love. However even the best toys given to a child can be easily upstaged by a better toy few days later. I'm not saying that you're his toy or he's toying around with you...it's just the easiest way that I thought I could relate it to you.
It's natural that guys would still want to know more girls...as much as he could possibly grab hold of. It's like a world conquest for all the male species...
and it does boost his ego and make him feel more confident about himself and his present and the life ahead. It just give a boy a man's confidence, which is necessary most of the time so that the boys will grow up to be confident straight males.
Hmm...you sounds like he's your first-boyfriend, which is probably true by the way you reacted. Well, there's nothing wrong with his interest to know 50% of the world population. (50% guys, 50% girls... ) Everybody is curious about their charm and charisma and everyone wants to be the ever popular prom king/queen of the ball. It's the same for girls too, gals will also think if her bf is 'The One' for her even when they haven't met any guys better than her current bf...and that thought most often leads to an affair and some disastrous outcomes in a relationship. It's perfectly normal for anyone to have such thoughts at least once in their life, afterall we're all emotional beings.
You are feeling insecure about his behaviour and you should let him know about it. Don't worry about leading it into a quarrel if you can understand what I'm going to tell you.
You're probably upset that he hidden his activities from you, do not fret...he is afraid to upset you and that's why it was hidden from you. Right now you're facing a barrier in your relationship and both of you are still very much learning how to grow your relationship. You want to know if he still love you? I'm sure he still loves you cos if he don't, he wouldn't have make the effort to made you his girlfriend. And you must be really special to him, else he would've remained as just a normal friend with you. He still comes back to you at the end of the day, doesn't he?
Be gracious, although it's a difficult thing to do so...but it's the most powerful weapon for girls to use against guys if deployed in the correct manner.
Being gracious doesn't means tolerating his lovey-dovey intimate smses to other girls. It means taking a step back from this relationship and looking at your relationship from a wider view from your perspective. Confrontations are best to be avoided at all cost, as it doesn't help to improve anything in a relationship except to strain it.
Listen to what he have to say, and you'll know his intentions...from a girl's hunch. I can't tell you if he's a bad guy who planned to cheat you of your feelings and body. But you know him better than anyone else here, so judge him based on who you know he really is. Take a time-out from your relationship only when you're really unsure of his intentions towards you and this relationship itself. Time-out means temporary separation for both of you to see the bigger picture of the mess that was once a relationship.
If he still loves you and treasure this relationship with you, he will know what to do. He will do anything to preserve this relationship, yes he will.
Hehehehe...there isn't just one way to let him know about your frustrations. The best way that I recommend is to get him a card, and tell him what you feel. Do remember to let him know that you wished that he will spend more time with you than with other girls. 
(That's evil....:lol And allow the neglecting factor to be the main reason for getting him a card rather than the other girls issues.
Cards are necessary and when you really need them for situations like this, it's money well-spent even though you might wondered why they're being overpriced sometimes. (I'm not a card seller 
)
Good luck. -
some guys just enjoy the process of woo-ing gals..
when they with the gals, they start losing patience and stop showering her with as much attention liao... -
Don't worry... i think you will find one someday... but you just try to open yr eyes big big next timeOriginally posted by subarugal:he isn't spend enuf time with me..
Mon - Fri (he say work very tired dnt feel like going out)
Sat (work half day, complaint tired want to sleep)
Sun (occasionally we meet up)
Just wonder wat kind of relationship is this..
i have been very patient with him, hoping he would change..
my fren ask me to be patient with him, but i really wish him co. me..
i dnt need him to bring me go shopping, movies etc.. i just wish to spend some quality time together even he went to bring me to beach sit down chat i would have been very hapi.. or go some place for basic dinner ...
so such request too much ?
i really think not u noe...
haiz... y am i so unlucky.. i just wanna find someone to luv me, dote me, spend time with me...
sigh... 
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my eyes is so big already, bigger somemore my eye ball dropping.. haa
humh...
yah tks, someday i will wait for my MR Right..
MR RIGHT where the hell are you ? haaaaOriginally posted by Souledge:Don't worry... i think you will find one someday... but you just try to open yr eyes big big next time -
humh, guess sometime i am lost in my own fears..
althoug i dnt like his activities online, but i guess he still have a little heart to come and look for me in the late nite.. 11am and stay with me chatting till 6am..
but some say he might be having a double life else where.. if nt y so late den meet me.. etc...
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Hehehehe.....have more confidence in him and do not allow your fears and other's speculations to cloud your relationship.Originally posted by subarugal:humh, guess sometime i am lost in my own fears..
althoug i dnt like his activities online, but i guess he still have a little heart to come and look for me in the late nite.. 11am and stay with me chatting till 6am..
but some say he might be having a double life else where.. if nt y so late den meet me.. etc...
Both of you have your own lives to run and live everyday. And it isn't that bad at all if you don't see and hear from each other every hour and then.
And there's no fixed rule in any relationship and shouldn't have any...else it would've turn it into a routine/order/restriction in the relationship, well...who wanna get into a boring relationship like that?
The place that both of you are living in is already full of restrictions and rules...thus making your daily life extremely routine. Sometimes I can't help but wonder how people can stand with life and days that kept on repeating itself...almost like living within a dejavu.
It is not wise to have a perfect painting of the relationship that you always wanted in your mind. Cos if things doesn't happens like they should've as similar to the painting in your mind, you will tend to think that something is not right or something is missing in the relationship where actually everything's fine and there's nothing wrong at all. So don't make this mistake as it has already happened to a lot of couples out there...and usually the main reason for breakups.
As long as there's nothing stopping both of you from contacting each other and as long as both of you are in good health, there shouldn't be any worries about the relationship at all. Fate have brought both of you together, love have bind both your hearts together and now it's up to both of you to strengthen and grow your relationship together.
Good luck. -
What do you think you have at this point then?Originally posted by subarugal:Like i say if i were to do all these to catch him red handed.
i guess i would rather give up the r/l coz i dnt see the point to carry on such relationship
A relationship without trust, faith and loyalty is equal to waste of time n feel.
You still with him? -
Not all. Many of my friends even getting married with a girl who he met in the net. first of all, you must see whether u two are compatible , can get along or not everything is possible if you try yr bestOriginally posted by boyboy18:as usual,like wad most ppl says,guys known from net are never gd partners.
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humh... i really don't know. seems to me, at times he is ok gd to me.. at times he get cold. i am still trying to understand him, mayb his character is like that..
every sunday morning he will go for a game of soccer with his friend whom i saw before. he is into sporting for game type, but coming to go out he is abit lazy, always hang around his house area. Other then his activites online, humh.. dnt seems to me he has any other hobby.
i really dont noe.. but now he is getting alittle bit more closer then last time.
esp when i didn't call him or sms him he will respond to me.
at times after short chat, he would drive down to my house area even in middle of the nite.. so i guess he still have me in his heart..
izzt ?
[quote]Originally posted by thelesis:
[b]Not all. Many of my friends even getting married with a girl who he met in the net. first of all, you must see whether u two are compatible , can get along or not everything is possible if you try yr best -
yes still together.. like normal couple, go out, chat on phone, sms each other..
he go out will inform me, me do the same things..
humh.. but .. but... dnt noe what to say seriously i feel something is missing in our relationship..
Mayb faith, trust .. he really doesn't give me any sense of security, seems like he don't care for anything.
he live his life like single, sigh...
only when i stop or ignore him, he will notice my missing if nt.. sigh, somex he dnt even call nor sms me..
Am i asking to much... wondering am i demanding ?
my heart said " dnt spy on him, cos if going to do so rather give up"
my soul said " u dnt spy forever u will not noe wat happen face it "
sigh... i really dnt noe wat to do.
i jolly well know spying on partner is a no no things, i will nt like it if someone do that to me too.. haiz....Originally posted by Devil1976:What do you think you have at this point then?
You still with him? -
Let's face it.Originally posted by subarugal:yes still together.. like normal couple, go out, chat on phone, sms each other..
he go out will inform me, me do the same things..
humh.. but .. but... dnt noe what to say seriously i feel something is missing in our relationship..
Mayb faith, trust .. he really doesn't give me any sense of security, seems like he don't care for anything.
he live his life like single, sigh...
only when i stop or ignore him, he will notice my missing if nt.. sigh, somex he dnt even call nor sms me..
Am i asking to much... wondering am i demanding ?
my heart said " dnt spy on him, cos if going to do so rather give up"
my soul said " u dnt spy forever u will not noe wat happen face it "
sigh... i really dnt noe wat to do.
i jolly well know spying on partner is a no no things, i will nt like it if someone do that to me too.. haiz....
He's not the one you'll spend your life with
And you're not ready.
Cheers -
Just have straight talk with your bf and ask if he really
wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you, his gf.
If he says no, then break off lah. Bf-gf relationship is always
exclusive, not inclusive. It always become a problem when it's
inclusive with other friend gals/guys without you in the picture.
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It's too routine. Ever thought that 'something' missing in your relationship could be LOVE...? Even if that's not the case, love is certainly not well-expressed in your relationship... Your expectation... His expression... It could be the absence of love or something in your bf's character which make his expression in it a loow tone... Perhaps you would like to guide him on thatOriginally posted by subarugal:yes still together.. like normal couple, go out, chat on phone, sms each other..
he go out will inform me, me do the same things..
humh.. but .. but... dnt noe what to say seriously i feel something is missing in our relationship..
Mayb faith, trust .. he really doesn't give me any sense of security, seems like he don't care for anything.
he live his life like single, sigh...
only when i stop or ignore him, he will notice my missing if nt.. sigh, somex he dnt even call nor sms me..
Am i asking to much... wondering am i demanding ?
my heart said " dnt spy on him, cos if going to do so rather give up"
my soul said " u dnt spy forever u will not noe wat happen face it "
sigh... i really dnt noe wat to do.
i jolly well know spying on partner is a no no things, i will nt like it if someone do that to me too.. haiz....
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what's missing in the relationnship??
love or chemistry<== gal's opinion sex<===guy's opinion -
Forget it whatever chemistry or love all craps from him..
i broke off with that guy.
humh, happen this way.
Last night again he tried to sweet talk me into bedding i guess its his last attempt on me, and jokingly me replied
" if i given you i wonder where will you disappear to, haaaa ?"
Initially i was really joking.
but his reply back make me piss off,
his repiled " In that case nothing much to talk, i dnt want to talk anymore"
i replied " Oh com'on dnt be so petty, its a joke"
he say " this is not petty, its just that you don't trust me"
Me replied him " Ok fine, if that is what you want alright with me. I can't force you neither, Take Care "
So THE END loh..
Idiot jerk.. But lucky i am not stupid also haaa...
but just wasting my time on such guy..sigh...
i guess he couldn't get anything from me that's why piss off..
heee 
Am i right guys ?
Sick lah such guys.. -
nice ending .......
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Again you allow such relationship to get to you too easily.Originally posted by subarugal:Forget it whatever chemistry or love all craps from him..
i broke off with that guy.
humh, happen this way.
Last night again he tried to sweet talk me into bedding i guess its his last attempt on me, and jokingly me replied
" if i given you i wonder where will you disappear to, haaaa ?"
Initially i was really joking.
but his reply back make me piss off,
his repiled " In that case nothing much to talk, i dnt want to talk anymore"
i replied " Oh com'on dnt be so petty, its a joke"
he say " this is not petty, its just that you don't trust me"
Me replied him " Ok fine, if that is what you want alright with me. I can't force you neither, Take Care "
So THE END loh..
Idiot jerk.. But lucky i am not stupid also haaa...
but just wasting my time on such guy..sigh...
i guess he couldn't get anything from me that's why piss off..
heee
Am i right guys ?
Sick lah such guys..
Not his fault exactly.
Remember how i told you girls should protect themselves?
You may need to raise the standard you're looking for in a guy.
Get some activities to fill the void? For your good.
Cheers -
Nice... ha ha!!
I guess he needs to pour cold water into his pants to cool down liao -
yes sir,
heee... but correction my sir !
i am not lowering my standard that why i did not allow myself to commit mistake in-regard to sex. I have my sets of rulez
but i learn something from this incident.
that is to be a smart modern gal in this city, don't give in unneccessary to sex.
Relationship doesn't come with sex like a offer packages.
If having it is a bonus if not then love us wait for us.
i am doing activities to fill my void.
and i am proud to say i have been learning belly dancing for the past 1year, go out with my friends etc.. to keep myself busy.
Planning to do my BSC if i have extra cash.
But yet again i really appreciate you guys and gals for all the supports and advice.
see you around ok.. ke ke...
dont worry i am ok and not sad.. But rather feel i am lucky i didn't commit deeply into it. Really fellow gals keep our eyes big and open.
GD LUCK ...Originally posted by M©+square:Again you allow such relationship to get to you too easily.
Not his fault exactly.
Remember how i told you girls should protect themselves?
You may need to raise the standard you're looking for in a guy.
Get some activities to fill the void? For your good.
Cheers