Confessions of A Young Mother with An Abortion
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~Spins a coin~
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M© looked at the coin intently and wonders if it's going to tilt on either side. But he wants to see it settle on the center.
The coin spins...still.
M© yawns.
Which side will it go Dev? -
Isn't it considered statutory rape under the British law to have sex with the girls aged 12 and 14?
Technically it is so...but they do not prosecute if the perpetrator is another minor of the same age -
Well..it's only meaningful if the single mum managed to overcome her own crisis and became wiser...at least upgrade herself...be it her personality becoming stronger, living conditions improved, letting go of the past.Originally posted by Tuatau:Subjective.
In your opinion, what would be the right article to represent the term "meaningful"?
Seems like the single mum haven't got any wiser, her living conditions didn't improve...although she's hoping that it'll get better, and she's still dwelling in her own sorrows of the past and even plans to tell her daughter her sad/tragic story in the future. OMG....never transfer your own past sorrows to your own children, children won't be wise enough to understand and it will only make them be more shameful and feel inferior in front of their peers. They won't be able to enjoy their life as normal kids anymore once they know that they're born from such tragic event. That stupid mum watches too much soap dramas if she really thinks that her daughter will be wise enough to understand. It won't make any difference even if her daughter understands. Her daughter should be allowed to live her life free and happy and with pride and away from all those past sorrows/worries. It is best that she never tells her daughter about anything about her shameful past or she might risk scarring her daughter's life and her daughter might just end up like her mum if she's unable to overcome this past nonsense.
Whatever unhappy events that are passed and over should be allowed to be forgotten and never to be mentioned...even though not forgiven.
This author choice of story is unwise and will influenced other people who might be in the same dilemma before to follow in the footsteps of the single mum and her resolution for her future. Never allow tragic stories to duplicate itself and multiply like a social plague...else our future generations will indeed be a generations of mistakes and sadness and sorrows. Instead, stories that are published to the public or will be read by anyone else than the author herself, should be chosen wisely and should be stories of inspiration and hopes and strengths and love. Because everyone out there walking and breathing has their own sad story to tell, there won't be a lack of demand for sad stories. Instead, don't increase the troubles and frustrations of the common people. Publish more stories of hopes, inspirations, strengths and love instead...cos that's what is missing and greatly in demand in our present society.
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I aknowledge, and I'm full of respect and empathise with the poor woman. Mother's love is unconditional.
Always use protection! -
Poor choice in selecting men..
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I met a few other men after that and became close to some. The minute they knew about my past, they demanded sex from me. Not new to you, so donÂ’t pretend, they would say.
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When I met the man I eventually married, I was only 19. I didnÂ’t tell him about the abortion until we were getting ready to marry. In a way, you could say I tricked him into marrying me. But, I was sure he would also run away like the rest if he knew.
Lesson not learnt, time and time again.
Or is this story slanted for it's intented purpose? -
Originally posted by parn:
Can't speak for her, but the single mother in the story didn't seem to me to be that self-pitying as was made out to be. Her background seemed to indicate that she could be the quintessential "Ah Lian" of the Singapore heartland. I do not wish to generalise, but many young girls these days do not get (or simply refuse) the benefit of guidance from parents and teachers on the pitfalls of being prematurely involved in a sexual relationship, making them particularly vulnerable prey to beasts of lust.
Well..it's only meaningful if the single mum managed to overcome her own crisis and became wiser...at least upgrade herself...be it her personality becoming stronger, living conditions improved, letting go of the past.
Seems like the single mum haven't got any wiser, her living conditions didn't improve... although she's hoping that it'll get better, and she's still dwelling in her own sorrows of the past and even plans to tell her daughter her sad/tragic story in the future. OMG....never transfer your own past sorrows to your own children, children won't be wise enough to understand and it will only make them be more shameful and feel inferior in front of their peers. They won't be able to enjoy their life as normal kids anymore once they know that they're born from such tragic event. That stupid mum watches too much soap dramas if she really thinks that her daughter will be wise enough to understand. It won't make any difference even if her daughter understands. Her daughter should be allowed to live her life free and happy and with pride and away from all those past sorrows/worries. It is best that she never tells her daughter about anything about her shameful past or she might risk scarring her daughter's life and her daughter might just end up like her mum if she's unable to overcome this past nonsense.
Whatever unhappy events that are passed and over should be allowed to be forgotten and never to be mentioned... even though not forgiven.
This author choice of story is unwise and will influenced other people who might be in the same dilemma before to follow in the footsteps of the single mum and her resolution for her future. Never allow tragic stories to duplicate itself and multiply like a social plague...else our future generations will indeed be a generations of mistakes and sadness and sorrows. Instead, stories that are published to the public or will be read by anyone else than the author herself, should be chosen wisely and should be stories of inspiration and hopes and strengths and love. Because everyone out there walking and breathing has their own sad story to tell, there won't be a lack of demand for sad stories. Instead, don't increase the troubles and frustrations of the common people. Publish more stories of hopes, inspirations, strengths and love instead...cos that's what is missing and greatly in demand in our present society.
My guess was that this article was published to serve more as a warning to such naïve girls out there, to be more careful when getting involved in a relationship; rather than as an example to the unhappily married young mothers out there, to follow her actions and traumatise their children with shameful family histories.
That was also my intention when I posted this thread -- that intention may be misguided as we already have more than enough tragic stories here. This tragic story, however, is slightly more meaningful (at least in my opinion) as it carries a social message about the stigma on single motherhood and the possible repercussions of abortion. Besides, as what some posters have pointed out in other threads with stories of questionable authenticity: if these stories could still serve as a reference guide to readers in similar situations, then perhaps it isn't that bad a thing after all.
As for personal stories of love, hope and inspiration, I have to admit there are other posters here who have already done more than a good job. -
Originally posted by Magnus:
It could be, though personally I'd give the story the benefit of doubt.
Poor choice in selecting men..
Lesson not learnt, time and time again.
Or is this story slanted for it's intented purpose?
Anyway, if we looked at some old threads in this forum, we shouldn't be too surprised to find that there are indeed people who admit "lesson not learnt" and had their hearts broken by the same type of people over and over. -
Nonetheless, there's much to be learnt. To go against it or towards it is just a matter of personal chioce. Such articles give one some time to reflect on situations... Rather than having to deal with them when the matter is upfront and in your face....Originally posted by parn:Well..it's only meaningful if the single mum managed to overcome her own crisis and became wiser...at least upgrade herself...be it her personality becoming stronger, living conditions improved, letting go of the past.
Seems like the single mum haven't got any wiser, her living conditions didn't improve...although she's hoping that it'll get better, and she's still dwelling in her own sorrows of the past and even plans to tell her daughter her sad/tragic story in the future. OMG....never transfer your own past sorrows to your own children, children won't be wise enough to understand and it will only make them be more shameful and feel inferior in front of their peers. They won't be able to enjoy their life as normal kids anymore once they know that they're born from such tragic event. That stupid mum watches too much soap dramas if she really thinks that her daughter will be wise enough to understand. It won't make any difference even if her daughter understands. Her daughter should be allowed to live her life free and happy and with pride and away from all those past sorrows/worries. It is best that she never tells her daughter about anything about her shameful past or she might risk scarring her daughter's life and her daughter might just end up like her mum if she's unable to overcome this past nonsense.
Whatever unhappy events that are passed and over should be allowed to be forgotten and never to be mentioned...even though not forgiven.
This author choice of story is unwise and will influenced other people who might be in the same dilemma before to follow in the footsteps of the single mum and her resolution for her future. Never allow tragic stories to duplicate itself and multiply like a social plague...else our future generations will indeed be a generations of mistakes and sadness and sorrows. Instead, stories that are published to the public or will be read by anyone else than the author herself, should be chosen wisely and should be stories of inspiration and hopes and strengths and love. Because everyone out there walking and breathing has their own sad story to tell, there won't be a lack of demand for sad stories. Instead, don't increase the troubles and frustrations of the common people. Publish more stories of hopes, inspirations, strengths and love instead...cos that's what is missing and greatly in demand in our present society. -
It's still spinning...Originally posted by M©+square:M© looked at the coin intently and wonders if it's going to tilt on either side. But he wants to see it settle on the center.
The coin spins...still.
M© yawns.
Which side will it go Dev?
Isn't it amazing how as it spins... There're so many 'tiny' mechanisms going within it...? -
Sadly, naive is a character traits that people are borned with. It can't be taught to overcome and can only be learnt through individual's experiences. The situations and the environments that the single mother was born into presented a good foundation for a tough life ahead. That's perhaps the life that she was meant to be put through...and given her the situations at that time, many would've took the same road as her. Sadness comes from the helplessness of anyone if put in the same situation as her.
Ironically everyone is born differently, and it's true that it's not fair to everyone. Some are blessed to live a better life than others, but eventually it's about reaching the finishing line and how we've lived our lives before that happens.
Hmm...when I meant the author, I wasn't referring to you. I was referring to the person who did the interview for this article.
Good luck.Originally posted by Tuatau:Can't speak for her, but the single mother in the story didn't seem to me to be that self-pitying as was made out to be. Her background seemed to indicate that she could be the quintessential "Ah Lian" of the Singapore heartland. I do not wish to generalise, but many young girls these days do not get (or simply refuse) the benefit of guidance from parents and teachers on the pitfalls of being prematurely involved in a sexual relationship, making them particularly vulnerable prey to beasts of lust.
My guess was that this article was published to serve more as a warning to such naïve girls out there, to be more careful when getting involved in a relationship; rather than as an example to the unhappily married young mothers out there, to follow her actions and traumatise their children with shameful family histories.
That was also my intention when I posted this thread -- that intention may be misguided as we already have more than enough tragic stories here. This tragic story, however, is slightly more meaningful (at least in my opinion) as it carries a social message about the stigma on single motherhood and the possible repercussions of abortion. Besides, as what some posters have pointed out in other threads with stories of questionable authenticity: if these stories could still serve as a reference guide to readers in similar situations, then perhaps it isn't that bad a thing after all.
As for personal stories of love, hope and inspiration, I have to admit there are other posters here who have already done more than a good job. -
Sometimes we have to see from two points of view.... i would agree as in... i do not agree of having abortion... but have you wonder... what would you do... when you have the baby out... and not able to provide... the baby with all the necessary neccessity... would you think it is better to have the kids now... and let him or her suffer... or you would wan to provide with everything you possible could... do for him or her in the future.... do you think the kid that you refuse to take away... end up not having a happy childhood... and end up worse than anything... or do you wan to take his or her life away now... so that you think the kid will not suffer that much... i am not crude here or what... but i am just trying to put the msg across... when i did see frens who got married because they got kids... but unable to provide them with a happy childhood... i just see it as... it is the responsibility that you have to bear... when a child is born... you have to make sure that you are capable to take care of the baby before giving birth... i agree on the case where the lady actually go for an abortion cause she wan to go for an vacation... that girl is crap...
but the rest... i think there is more than just kids involve... it is a lot of factors to consider as well...
cheers...