maybe i'm thinking too much??
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hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice. -
Going into a r/s does not mean it will end like a fairytale, does not mean both of you will be guaranteed to have a happily ever after life.
You can only put in effots, give all your best, have trust in each other and hope that it will work out.
It is worth the risk of getting hurt just because you never know, she might be the one for you. -
Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.
Like many who have yet to step into a proper BGR yet, you think too deep into what love is like without experiencing it. I used to have such thingy many fringing` years back (Venus in Virgo) and realise it was detrimental when I recalled now. You will eventually come to realise that love feels with the heart, not explored by the brain. Your surfacing exploration would only touch other people's lesson, not neccessary yours.
It's probably the same when I throw you a hypothetical scenario on how you would react when certain things happen in a relationship (say when you fell in love with a smoker and you disdain the idea of a lady smoker ALOT... a christian falling in love with a non-christian and worries about the religion conflicts... etc). Your answer MAY not reflect what you would do when exact scenario sprung up.
You are like in an isle, eyeing on the mainland from where you are standing. You have all the ability and resource to make that little boat to sail to where you desire to reach, but it's always the unknown and fear of the uncharted water that hinders your desire.
But of course, say if you are not interested in the people around you currently, there is nothing wrong with you NOT reacting even to their liking. A big however is when someone suitable comes along, do not succumb to your resistance, fear and false thoughts. You may come to regret severely in the future.
Cheers -
no pain no gain...
it applies to everything be it love or work or friends...
you can't tell if an orange is sweet or sour just by starring at it... you have to taste it...
good luck
Vidvin -
just do it.
even later she dump u or u dump her, or watever reason things dont work out fine, it's good to have the experience. Of cos it's good if happy ending comes.
"hua kai kan zhe zhi xu zhe, Mo dai wu hua kong zhe zhi"
heard of these two lines form a chinese poem before??Dun wait until "no flower" u only take the branch. -
hi there... i suppose u are influenced too much the "horror" stories that ur frens have related to u... although there are pple who go into a r/s only to break it up within weeks or even days, there are also a large majority who are still together even aft 4-5 yrs of courtship...
from a very personal pt of view, i feel that u need to know the gal well first b4 asking her to go into a r/s with u... u will also need to ask urself if u r prepared to handle the ups and downs of a r/s, that is, u dun juz shun away or request for a break up when things are not going as smoothly as b4... u must be prepared to put in time n effort - to maintain r/s, as well as to know the gal in greater depth...
to start a r/s is ez, to enjoy the ups of the r/s is ez, but not many youngsters are prepared to face the trials of a r/s... i have seen it for myself, from pple ard me...
so wat i can say is that itz great to know that u r not hurrying things... take things in ur stride, n i wish u all the best...
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Sometimes in life, if you don't try to do it, you'll never know what is it....so far, all heard from frens?
If you don't feel like going into a relationship, so be it...why's there a headache or confusion of whether shld have a r/s or not.... -
Go match making agency. They are fun and worth the time.
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IMO, You are not abnormal or thinking too much, you are just pure inferior.Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.
You must have some flaws that only people close enough to you knows, face it. (eg; sweaty palms or short dick, whatever.)
If what you said is true, i believe you must belong to those Good-Looking-Guys group, whose ego is so big they cannot handle Fear Of Rejection, so they wait for very very obvious signal from georgeous ladies (whom u call "The One" ), which probably only happens in your dream.
And when it happens, your inferiority complex of your personal flaw stopped you from going into deeper relationship again.
Come'on, you've got to face yourself before you can face others.
Cheers. -
There's no need to hurry.
It simply means the right girl have not come into your life yet.
When it does come, you will know. -
gosh... this guy feels the same way as me about r/s... but i guess you people are right... just dun think too far and "know" that r/s will never last, so why bother getting into one... i guess when it comes, it comes...
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You're one confusing girl at this time.Originally posted by starblue:gosh... this guy feels the same way as me about r/s... but i guess you people are right... just dun think too far and "know" that r/s will never last, so why bother getting into one... i guess when it comes, it comes...
Hope you'll be enlightened soon. -
you mean i am confusing people or i am confused myself??? lolz...Originally posted by M©+square:You're one confusing girl at this time.
Hope you'll be enlightened soon. -
Pls do a spell check before you post.Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.
I dont see anything wrong with not having a gf or bf at this age. So ,no, you are not abnormal. In fact, I would say that you are a smart person who goes for quality. -
hmm..ur thinking bout quality vs quantity seems right. Perhaps ur attitude need some work. U cant just expect ur dream girl to fall out frm the sky onto ur hands~
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no worries.. sometimes life is like tat.. we are pretty similar ina lot of ways..Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.
im 24 this yr ler.. i also dun have a gf before.. and im fairly good looking.
tat make it harder for most people to believe. 
Personally, like u, i believe in quality than quantity.. when im still schling, also got people ask me before leh.. haha~ but im young mah~ so errm.. a bit bo chap... plus there was a number of problems im having at tat time.
Anyway i also dun like being alone at all. i rather stay at home than go out alone. heh~
Bu u must also know youth is precious.. im not asking to "try" out relationships or anything.. but if there is a girl u like fairly well.. or more than other girls u know, i suggest u give it a try.. no one can predict how long a relationship lasts.. even being together for many yrs, doesnt necessary mean greater understanding. who knows how things might end up? but if u nv try, u nv know.. and u will always have regrets..
Anyway everything is ur choice.. its ur life.. once u take any opinon, u must be prepared to face all the consquences that comes with it. Think very hard before u make any decisions. U are young now.. and remember u are looking for a gf.. not a wife.. so no worries. (this is something, i sort of forgot when im younger =P im a perfectionist! one gf>wife enough liao~ haha~~ ) -
haax...same mindset tooOriginally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice. -
I think you have already told us the answer to your question. So I'll rearranged it for you.Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.
i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.
Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?
Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.
Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?
i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.
hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.
"Indeed i would like to hv a relationship, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship." -> Taken separately from what you've wrote above, I took the liberty to merge them.
You are not abnormal at all, it's perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way. Please take note that your reason to your friend for not having a relationship is merely your EXCUSE to prevent people from thinking that you're weird. Don't tell them that, cos if they're stupid enough to believe you...they won't bother to introduce you to other girls. If they are sharp enough, they would have guessed your real reason anyway.
If you've realised that you need courage, you should also realised that you'll need to find it within yourself.
Tell us your fears and we will try to leviate for you.
Good luck.
[/b] -
Originally posted by parn:
Tell us your fears and we will try to leviate for you.
Good luck.
[/b] Nice deduction. Sometimes the most obvious things are always there waiting to be picked out. I thought abt the same thing myself but couldnt do the quotes thing. Hahaha
Hope everything takes a change soon for him. -
having a relationship with you is more like living a nightmare...that you never seem to be able to wake up from...Originally posted by rainee:Going into a r/s does not mean it will end like a fairytale, does not mean both of you will be guaranteed to have a happily ever after life.
You can only put in effots, give all your best, have trust in each other and hope that it will work out.
It is worth the risk of getting hurt just because you never know, she might be the one for you.
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Sometime when we spotted a chio bu or cute cute gal, we will tok abt it. Den my frenz will ask mi whether i wan their number. If wan den they will go there and get the number for mi. Or sometimes my frenz will wan to intro their female frenz to mi.
But i always reject their offer, unless she's the 1 i'm looking for in terms of character. Cos i believe in fate. I feel that u dun hv any sincerity if u let ur frenz get the number for u. If u really wan to know this gal, u will hv to get her number urself.
But for mi, if i hv the chance, i will try to get their msn or email 1st. Cos i feel that if a gal so easily gave u their number, she would hv given to alot of guys already. But most of the time i do not hv the courage to go up there and ask for name or wateva...
maybe i'm too shy to do it ....= =''... or maybe i fear of rejection. But when it comes to help my frenz getting the number, i hv no fear anymore.
i tink i hv to build up my confident 1st..... -
Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:Sometime when we spotted a chio bu or cute cute gal, we will tok abt it. Den my frenz will ask mi whether i wan their number. If wan den they will go there and get the number for mi. Or sometimes my frenz will wan to intro their female frenz to mi.
But i always reject their offer, unless she's the 1 i'm looking for in terms of character. Cos i believe in fate. I feel that u dun hv any sincerity if u let ur frenz get the number for u. If u really wan to know this gal, u will hv to get her number urself.
But for mi, if i hv the chance, i will try to get their msn or email 1st. Cos i feel that if a gal so easily gave u their number, she would hv given to alot of guys already. But most of the time i do not hv the courage to go up there and ask for name or wateva...
maybe i'm too shy to do it ....= =''... or maybe i fear of rejection. But when it comes to help my frenz getting the number, i hv no fear anymore.
i tink i hv to build up my confident 1st..... You are far too systematic in affairs of love. Probably a good potential civil servant in making.
What do I mean?
You follow a certain set of formula, regardless of the situation that is happening around you. You are right about the fact that it is insincerity if your friends get the number for you (and chances are, they will probably fail), but what about friend's introduction? I think it's kinda normal?
Even if you get their email/MSN - doesn't mean that SHE never gave her number to other guys before you right? So it goes to show that if you can't have their email or MSN, your formula crashes and you are out of your wits?
What you are doing is the Dolphin Chase; guys trying to hunt down stranger lady out on the street, hoping to pick them up. In the first place, you have zero information about her, apart from her physical look; that she's cute looking or whatever. So I would tell you now, which decent lady would give her number to a stranger guy, in view of a potential relationship with you? (Especially if she is pretty or cute looking?)
Almost impossible unless the right setting and other factors is in place.
Oh no, you speak about friendship first right?
Then again, which lady would try to futher potential friendship to someone whom she has zero information about or worst, zero interest to? (Especially if she is pretty or cute looking?) Because in the first place, it is YOU who wanted to be her friend and NOT vice vista. Unless say, she is open minded to such context, ultra friendly and out-of-statistic women (which also includes very young ladies).
Then again, such characteristic ain't the kind you are looking for.
*** The easier way is to have some form of friendship connection with her. (I am using the friendster way of explaining). Say if you are first/second degree friend, it is easier than to randomly pick someone off the street or bar, in view of a relationship. (That's why fling or STR (Short-term relationship) is much more applicable instead of a proper relationship).
P.S: People needs familarity, especially ladies. You can begin when you could satisfy this condition.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
hm.. dun quite understand wat u sayin.... but nvm... thx anyway.. You are far too systematic in affairs of love. Probably a good potential civil servant in making.
What do I mean?
You follow a certain set of formula, regardless of the situation that is happening around you. You are right about the fact that it is insincerity if your friends get the number for you (and chances are, they will probably fail), but what about friend's introduction? I think it's kinda normal?
Even if you get their email/MSN - doesn't mean that SHE never gave her number to other guys before you right? So it goes to show that if you can't have their email or MSN, your formula crashes and you are out of your wits?
What you are doing is the Dolphin Chase; guys trying to hunt down stranger lady out on the street, hoping to pick them up. In the first place, you have zero information about her, apart from her physical look; that she's cute looking or whatever. So I would tell you now, which decent lady would give her number to a stranger guy, in view of a potential relationship with you? (Especially if she is pretty or cute looking?)
Almost impossible unless the right setting and other factors is in place.
Oh no, you speak about friendship first right?
Then again, which lady would try to futher potential friendship to someone whom she has zero information about or worst, zero interest to? (Especially if she is pretty or cute looking?) Because in the first place, [b]it is YOU who wanted to be her friend and NOT vice vista. Unless say, she is open minded to such context, ultra friendly and out-of-statistic women (which also includes very young ladies).
Then again, such characteristic ain't the kind you are looking for.
*** The easier way is to have some form of friendship connection with her. (I am using the friendster way of explaining). Say if you are first/second degree friend, it is easier than to randomly pick someone off the street or bar, in view of a relationship. (That's why fling or STR (Short-term relationship) is much more applicable instead of a proper relationship).
P.S: People needs familarity, especially ladies. You can begin when you could satisfy this condition.
Cheers[/b]
btw i not the 1 that go ard askin for msn or email or number fm a stranger.... wat i mean is that if tt gal is one of my frenz's frenz, den i will try to get it myself, after intro.... but not directly and not thru my frenz.... i'm not the 1 who c gal chio chio cute cute 1 den go take number, i wan to hv a better understanding abt her character or watsoeva b4 i take action... -
Damn... Am I very chim?Originally posted by NoTimeToWaitAr:hm.. dun quite understand wat u sayin.... but nvm... thx anyway..
btw i not the 1 that go ard askin for msn or email or number fm a stranger.... wat i mean is that if tt gal is one of my frenz's frenz, den i will try to get it myself, after intro.... but not directly and not thru my frenz.... i'm not the 1 who c gal chio chio cute cute 1 den go take number, i wan to hv a better understanding abt her character or watsoeva b4 i take action...
Cheers -
my advice try not to think too much, if got feeling then go ahead lor.
If you believe in fate then you should stand still and wait.
please do not say that u think too much since fate, will sent the you for you as soon as fate feels like it. It can be 20 years or 59 years ma why worry ? since you are looking only for the special one so you should take your time and enjoy yr life.
Btw happy waiting