Why many man are ending up as Friends instead of Lover.
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Alright, say you are blessed with a decent look and you are a wonderful man with a great sense of humor. Women love your company, and always like to be around you.
You have known many beautiful women; youÂ’ve had exciting conversations, fun outings and really close moments together with them.
So, when you have finally decided to “do it” and pop the magical question, they tell you:
“You’re a great guy, but we should just stay as friends…”
“You’re really nice, but you’re not the type for me, let’s stay as friends, shall we?”
“You’ll always be my best friend!”
ItÂ’s always when you start to express romantic feelings for them, they begin to isolate themselves from you or quickly notifies you as their friends.
Worse still, they tell you they like great guys with characters like you, but end up with another guy that is different.
And you are still alone.
What is the problem?
Man, having brainwashed from media & female propaganda, has always been following this set of rule:
1) Befriend her first,
2) Chat with her to know her better, and let her know you better,
3) Ask her out for casual lunch and movies, to know her MORE and let her know you MORE.
4) Give her presents on her birthday and stupid occasions, begin to let her know that you like her.
5) Let her know that you like her officially, ask her out for an official date.
6) Live happily ever after.
Well, we are not saying this set of rule doesnÂ’t work, we are just saying it OVERWORKED most of the time.
Man, ask check out if you are suffering from the ‘Nice Friend’ syndromes
- You are always there for her when she needed somebody to talk to.
- You will always cheer her up when she feels bad.
- You compliment her hair on a bad hair day.
- You talk to her everyday and know everything about her.
- You know exactly what kind of guy she likes and hates.
- You know her motherÂ’s birthday.
- You never fail to get her presents on occasions.
- Goes out with her when she feels bored.
The real issue
Men do not understand, but attraction does not work the Friendship way. Women are attracted to a man who is unpredictable and challenging.
Being always there for her and giving her so many attention, in a context of friend, works in developing stronger friendship, but never heavier attraction.
In the dating jungle, being overly nice and sensitive might get you to the top, but it never holds you there for long. In actual fact, it is a turn off. -
The girls-prefer-bad-guys syndrome?
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i guess so. coz i've been suffering from ‘Nice Friend’ syndromes as well.
it's always the same thing.. "you are a very nice guy, but not the ideal guy we are looking for". -
this guy reads David DeAngelo... -_-" little did he know that his techniques do not work in Asia... blind reading, some people... -_-"
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post once in CC not enuff?
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Ah so pray explain why I have done what he described in 1 to 6 and still end up knocking myself into the walls of dismality?Originally posted by starblue:this guy reads David DeAngelo... -_-" little did he know that his techniques do not work in Asia... blind reading, some people... -_-"
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Tatoo makes u a bad boy!
Quick go tatoo Jing zong Bao Guo on your shoulder! -
Originally posted by OldAhPek:Tatoo makes u a bad boy!
Quick go tatoo Jing zong Bao Guo on your shoulder! -
wad? you'll rather worry about how you can remain unpredictable, even if it is 10 years down the road, otherwise she will start to lose that attraction for you and run off?? listen to me bro. unless you're BORN exciting and challenging, or you don't mind changing a gal when she's bored with you, go ahead and be unpredictable and give gals the bad-boy feeling...Originally posted by LazerLordz:Ah so pray explain why I have done what he described in 1 to 6 and still end up knocking myself into the walls of dismality?
otherwise, stick to the nice guy. you'll eventually end up with wife and kids. that dating guru teaches guys how to bed girls. go read his newsletters, all those success stories about how guys can just turn up the cocky and funny attitude and the gal just swoon and hang all over him, finally ending up having passionate sex with him.
come on. which decent singaporean gal will go to bed with you just because you didn't act like other wussy guys and compliment on her hair? you want a decent gf, be a decent man for God's sake. -
duplicated.
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Whoa there sister, I never said I wanted to do any of this haha.I've always hated the ones who swagger into a place and think they can snap a finger and a sweet young chick will fall at his place.Originally posted by starblue:wad? you'll rather worry about how you can remain unpredictable, even if it is 10 years down the road, otherwise she will start to lose that attraction for you and run off?? listen to me bro. unless you're BORN exciting and challenging, or you don't mind changing a gal when she's bored with you, go ahead and be unpredictable and give gals the bad-boy feeling...
otherwise, stick to the nice guy. you'll eventually end up with wife and kids. that dating guru teaches guys how to bed girls. go read his newsletters, all those success stories about how guys can just turn up the cocky and funny attitude and the gal just swoon and hang all over him, finally ending up having passionate sex with him.
come on. which decent singaporean gal will go to bed with you just because you didn't act like other wussy guys and compliment on her hair? you want a decent gf, be a decent man for God's sake.
I'm not going to change myself for anyone and I've never done that.Whoever wants to be with me has got to take me as a whole package.Period.Furthermore, I just think that perhaps in the long run, the "nice guy that finished last" will have the last laugh when the ah sia kias burn themselves out at the age of 35 and get relegated to a life of lonely boozing..
Think my intentions and my words did not come out right
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hmm..I dont have this problem..perhaps Im an unpredictable person. But for once I would like to read somebody's own theory based on their experience & observations. Not just a cut n paste thing from so-called 'love' gurus~
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that guy claims its his own experience... you guys gotta read his stuff... feel like punching him sometimes... but couldn't cos i'll be busy deciding if i should burst out laughing or get pissed off with the things he and the other guys say in there... lolz...Originally posted by Pion:hmm..I dont have this problem..perhaps Im an unpredictable person. But for once I would like to read somebody's own theory based on their experience & observations. Not just a cut n paste thing from so-called 'love' gurus~ -
i read it before...but never applied it. I think different people will have different ways that are effective. It is only something you can learn and refine from your own life experience and what you do. Oh yeah..that book was written in 1994.. and a considerable amount of things can have happened since then.Originally posted by starblue:that guy claims its his own experience... you guys gotta read his stuff... feel like punching him sometimes... but couldn't cos i'll be busy deciding if i should burst out laughing or get pissed off with the things he and the other guys say in there... lolz... -
Something I once experienced...
What is LOVE?
Love is a warm hug in a cold night,
a gal wishing you good-nite without that formal feeling,
accepting that ripped cd of his punk music although you hate loud stuff,
not yelling at her even if you wasted your army leave waiting for her to turn up,
being his angel in a cruel world,
eating with her at NYDC and gobbling up her unfinished baked rice when she's full,
braving the steaming heat of Paya Lebar with him so that he can watch planes fly,
listening to her play Dvorak and Chopin on early Sunday mornings,
noodling her when she bumps into lampposts,
holding his hands when he actually gets scared watching a horror movie,
patiently explaining the convolulated plot of Basic,
buying three Nokia batts for him when he enlisted,
waiting for her along College Green every Saturday after book-out,
goin to NUS open house and dreaming about future varsity life together,
writing poems to her every day in college,
skipping Econs lectures with him to pig out on a porridge buffet,
laughing at the big fat PIGEON @ Eng Kong Park with her,
letting her wear my Presto sneakers around the library,
preparing debate notes for her and her opposing team,
go for Sunday spins with his speed demon friend,
talk for hours at nite,
argue with him from 2200 to 0400 hrs about Mandarin,
missing her terribly on a cold winter night in a hotel in Narita Prefecture, Japan,
wishing we were one of the happy couples in Shinjuku,
being her light in the dark,
letting her fly if she'll be better off eventually elsewhere,
being me. -
he doesnt just have a book wad... got videos lah, conferences lah... all that bull.. men actually spend money getting his stuff... -_-"Originally posted by Pion:i read it before...but never applied it. I think different people will have different ways that are effective. It is only something you can learn and refine from your own life experience and what you do. Oh yeah..that book was written in 1994.. and a considerable amount of things can have happened since then. -
u read his stuff? i jus dl an ebook. Honestly I just read 2-4pages..looks boring. Its more fun reading a bibleOriginally posted by starblue:he doesnt just have a book wad... got videos lah, conferences lah... all that bull.. men actually spend money getting his stuff... -_-" -
Heh,I never bothered with love advice from any book.
Learn and grow.Be thyself. -
whoa...nice nice. How was japan?Originally posted by LazerLordz:Something I once experienced...
a gal wishing you good-nite without that formal feeling,
accepting that ripped cd of his punk music although you hate loud stuff,
not yelling at her even if you wasted your army leave waiting for her to turn up,
eating with her at NYDC and gobbling up her unfinished baked rice when she's full,
noodling her when she bumps into lampposts,
holding his hands when he actually gets scared watching a horror movie,
buying three Nokia batts for him when he enlisted,
waiting for her along College Green every Saturday after book-out,
skipping Econs lectures with him to pig out on a porridge buffet,
preparing debate notes for her and her opposing team,
missing her terribly on a cold winter night in a hotel in Narita Prefecture, Japan,
wishing we were one of the happy couples in Shinjuku,
letting her fly if she'll be better off eventually elsewhere,
being me. -
was so touched when i read this.Originally posted by LazerLordz:Something I once experienced...
What is LOVE?
Love is a warm hug in a cold night,
a gal wishing you good-nite without that formal feeling,
accepting that ripped cd of his punk music although you hate loud stuff,
not yelling at her even if you wasted your army leave waiting for her to turn up,
being his angel in a cruel world,
eating with her at NYDC and gobbling up her unfinished baked rice when she's full,
braving the steaming heat of Paya Lebar with him so that he can watch planes fly,
listening to her play Dvorak and Chopin on early Sunday mornings,
noodling her when she bumps into lampposts,
holding his hands when he actually gets scared watching a horror movie,
patiently explaining the convolulated plot of Basic,
buying three Nokia batts for him when he enlisted,
waiting for her along College Green every Saturday after book-out,
goin to NUS open house and dreaming about future varsity life together,
writing poems to her every day in college,
skipping Econs lectures with him to pig out on a porridge buffet,
laughing at the big fat PIGEON @ Eng Kong Park with her,
letting her wear my Presto sneakers around the library,
preparing debate notes for her and her opposing team,
go for Sunday spins with his speed demon friend,
talk for hours at nite,
argue with him from 2200 to 0400 hrs about Mandarin,
missing her terribly on a cold winter night in a hotel in Narita Prefecture, Japan,
wishing we were one of the happy couples in Shinjuku,
being her light in the dark,
letting her fly if she'll be better off eventually elsewhere,
being me. -
got his email newsletters out of nowhere, thought i'd take a look at what he teaches guys about gals... lolz... i admit he may be right in some things. but most of his stuff is bulls hit lah... i know i wouldn't be attracted to that kinda guy... i'll prob go "fark off, Ashol" if a guy said those kinda things to me. lolz.Originally posted by Pion:u read his stuff? i jus dl an ebook. Honestly I just read 2-4pages..looks boring. Its more fun reading a bible
but according to him, gals like me aren't going to be much fun anyway, so they should just go on and hook up with other FUN gals... *shrugs*
why waste money dling the ebook?? all bull... that sgman person... maybe he is david. lolz... -
i always thought ppl hu read tis stuff r losers with no love life. Worse is the advices frm so-called or self proclaimed players or buayas.. Heh~Originally posted by LazerLordz:Heh,I never bothered with love advice from any book.
Learn and grow.Be thyself. -
A real player plays for keeps and does not need extra time or another game.Originally posted by Pion:i always thought ppl hu read tis stuff r losers with no love life. Worse is the advices frm so-called or self proclaimed players or buayas.. Heh~
Those that seek new pastures for fun ought to retire. -
Nice.But it's terribly congested in Shinjuku and Roppongi-Cho.Originally posted by Pion:whoa...nice nice. How was japan?
Stayed at Narita Prefecture, commuted to Tokyo Met by JRail..crowded and hardly any place to sit.Thankfully I avoided the rush hour jams..
Oh yes, I found a nice curry ramen diner opposite the Tokyo Tower.Tasty and warm in the cold winter night -
I wrote that 2 yrs ago.. after she broke up with me.In the middle of an SAF exercise, to say the least.Originally posted by droopyeyes:was so touched when i read this.