how am i supposed to feel ?
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How should i feel if my bf wasn't by my side at the time when i am most vulnerable? I admit i have grew to be very dependant on him. Really not used in being alone without him with me.
I understand he is on mission; work commitment. But still, i can't helped but feeling disappointed, mixed feeling..
I dun wish to bring this up to him, not wanting him to have additional burden. I want him to feel that I am independant enough to take care of myself. But deep down, I am not really that strong-minded person. -
i know exactly how you feel... just get a galfren and Bitch your heart out. when your guy comes back, sajiao to him and make him make up for his absence. i'm sure he'll be glad you asked.
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Sad to say, my closer female friend is still suffering heartbreak from her recent breakup.. I dun want to add more trouble for her...
Pretending to stronger is tiring.. I reckon this relationship is not going to last long if i will be having such thoughts always...
Tell me what should i do to overcome all this ?
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den be strong. it was never a choice, its a must!Originally posted by Nu^Ren:Sad to say, my closer female friend is still suffering heartbreak from her recent breakup.. I dun want to add more trouble for her...
Pretending to stronger is tiring.. I reckon this relationship is not going to last long if i will be having such thoughts always...
Tell me what should i do to overcome all this ? -
Originally posted by Nu^Ren:How should i feel if my bf wasn't by my side at the time when i am most vulnerable? I admit i have grew to be very dependant on him. Really not used in being alone without him with me.
I understand he is on mission; work commitment. But still, i can't helped but feeling disappointed, mixed feeling..
I dun wish to bring this up to him, not wanting him to have additional burden. I want him to feel that I am independant enough to take care of myself. But deep down, I am not really that strong-minded person.
Are you a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
Cheers -
Got difference meh?Originally posted by Yunhaier: Are you a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
Cheers -
Girls like her, really make us guys worry so much.
We provide a steady relationship for them and they end up thinking otherwise.
"Pretending to stronger is tiring.. I reckon this relationship is not going to last long if i will be having such thoughts always... "
Day in day out we fought hard to keep our rice bowl.
We tried to do our best for the relationship and hope that girls will understand, instead of thanks what we get is this?
Come on lar. No wonder they say singapore girls so hard to please.
Do good also complain. Do bad also complain.
What do you want us to do?
Everyday pei girls until no need to work ?
Ignore all friends and go out with gf only?
After reading yr words I really felt very sad for yr bf. -
Learn to be independent.
Keep your mind occupied.
Take up a hobby like jewellery making, cross stitching, patchwork, enrol for cooking classes.
Or sign up for Japanese/ French lessons, computer programming.
Play computer games like Sims etc - can occupy the whole day.
Learn to play a musical instrument like guitar, organ etc
Volunteer at SPCA, children's home
Exercise- take up yoga, aerobics, sign up with a gym.
There are many things to do. Try something new! -
Not strong and independent enough in what sense?Originally posted by Nu^Ren:How should i feel if my bf wasn't by my side at the time when i am most vulnerable? I admit i have grew to be very dependant on him. Really not used in being alone without him with me.
I understand he is on mission; work commitment. But still, i can't helped but feeling disappointed, mixed feeling..
I dun wish to bring this up to him, not wanting him to have additional burden. I want him to feel that I am independant enough to take care of myself. But deep down, I am not really that strong-minded person. -
it's ok to feel weak and vulnerable sometimes... it's ok to feel like you need someone to be there. it's ok to feel disappointed when the one you love isn't there when you need him. but ultimately, dun let it affect your r/s. know that you not only have him. you have other friends to depend on when he can't be there. cheer up.
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Maybe try to keep urself busy.. Got some hobbies.. Making friends... Im in a long distance relationship for some years... have some sort of problems as well.. but always try to trust each other... All this maybe just to test ur loyalty to him. Or maybe try to lower ur standard... Relationship is not like in movies... after get through problems and will 'live happily ever after' without anymore problem... Maybe he also has more problems than u but he keeps inside his mind and never talk about it?Maybe he is also dissapointed in lots of things but try to be very patient also? It's mutual
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A relationship is never enough if you never attempt to thrash it out. I dont think its been branded as "independant" this way. After all, in a relationship, both parties must be feeling equally comfortable with each other and their companionship.Originally posted by Nu^Ren:How should i feel if my bf wasn't by my side at the time when i am most vulnerable? I admit i have grew to be very dependant on him. Really not used in being alone without him with me.
I understand he is on mission; work commitment. But still, i can't helped but feeling disappointed, mixed feeling..
I dun wish to bring this up to him, not wanting him to have additional burden. I want him to feel that I am independant enough to take care of myself. But deep down, I am not really that strong-minded person.
Whats the point of a boyfriend if he is not by your side MOST of the time when you need him? He might not know how you feel, do bare with singaporeans guys whom majority belongs to the "buay zhi dong" race (yea i'm the buay zhi dong guy once be4
)
Everyone thinks different, so when comes to relationship, you have your pt, ur guy has his. He wouldnt possibly know how you feel if you dun express out ur feeling to him. Have a nice chat with him either on the phone or meet out have dinner and sort out your insecurity with him.
Please dont think every problem can be solve by being mum, it never work that way -
true sometimes girls are demanding these days..Originally posted by drx:Girls like her, really make us guys worry so much.
We provide a steady relationship for them and they end up thinking otherwise.
"Pretending to stronger is tiring.. I reckon this relationship is not going to last long if i will be having such thoughts always... "
Day in day out we fought hard to keep our rice bowl.
We tried to do our best for the relationship and hope that girls will understand, instead of thanks what we get is this?
Come on lar. No wonder they say singapore girls so hard to please.
Do good also complain. Do bad also complain.
What do you want us to do?
Everyday pei girls until no need to work ?
Ignore all friends and go out with gf only?
After reading yr words I really felt very sad for yr bf.
when u want to go and pei her sometimes she dun wan
then when u got to go for work etc she come and bug you
ma fan arh~ -
Yah.. i guess ultimately it all boils down to INSECURITY..Originally posted by SoonKeong:A relationship is never enough if you never attempt to thrash it out. I dont think its been branded as "independant" this way. After all, in a relationship, both parties must be feeling equally comfortable with each other and their companionship.
Whats the point of a boyfriend if he is not by your side MOST of the time when you need him? He might not know how you feel, do bare with singaporeans guys whom majority belongs to the "buay zhi dong" race (yea i'm the buay zhi dong guy once be4 )
Everyone thinks different, so when comes to relationship, you have your pt, ur guy has his. He wouldnt possibly know how you feel if you dun express out ur feeling to him. Have a nice chat with him either on the phone or meet out have dinner and sort out your insecurity with him.
Please dont think every problem can be solve by being mum, it never work that way
I am NOT blaming him not being by my side. What i am saying is i am feeling very loss without him, ESP when those time that i am so vulnerable.. like what Soonkeong said, whats e point of having a bf when he is always not by my side when i needed him most? know i am too dependant on him thats why i am telling myself to be independant & endure all e way through till he finish his mission, rather than to feel drifted apart from this relationship...
And its not only SINGAPORE girls are liddat, all human face the same problem, be it viet or china wife. -
Erm... Neither. I belong to VIRGO. Cheers!Originally posted by Yunhaier: Are you a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
Cheers -
guess u have to talk to him about all these asap...before things get worse...
keeping them to yourself won't help your relationship and yourself.
guess such things happen to a lot of couples in singapore...no time to spend together...busy with work most of the time.
guess both of you really need to talk about what can be done with all the obstacles and constraints presented before both of you. -
i forsee this gal, befriending another guy who she thinks can substitute her bf when he is not ard. gals r jus b i t c h e s
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Is it comfortable to explain what mission is he doing?
Even if its a very important work i think down to the bottomline, concern is meant to be there. It's never wrong to be dependent on your partner, of coz it doesnt mean everything he must do for you that kind.
Endure all the way? How confident are you to be able to endure. -
SAME GOES TO UR MUMOriginally posted by MRMUSICPRODUCER:i forsee this gal, befriending another guy who she thinks can substitute her bf when he is not ard. gals r jus b i t c h e s -
is he jus away temp for a few months or it's sme permanent thgnie?
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Try to keep yourself more occupied... You have a high tendency to think too much... Of things which ain't necessary...Originally posted by Nu^Ren:How should i feel if my bf wasn't by my side at the time when i am most vulnerable? I admit i have grew to be very dependant on him. Really not used in being alone without him with me.
I understand he is on mission; work commitment. But still, i can't helped but feeling disappointed, mixed feeling..
I dun wish to bring this up to him, not wanting him to have additional burden. I want him to feel that I am independant enough to take care of myself. But deep down, I am not really that strong-minded person. -
I don see why you are troubling your friend. Isnt this the time when your friend come in? morover, you can help her to get over her breakup faster if you spent more time with her. women feel better by talking over a problem.Originally posted by Nu^Ren:Sad to say, my closer female friend is still suffering heartbreak from her recent breakup.. I dun want to add more trouble for her...
Pretending to stronger is tiring.. I reckon this relationship is not going to last long if i will be having such thoughts always...
Tell me what should i do to overcome all this ?
spent more time with your friend is the advise i give. -
KNNBCCB if u dont understand, KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BY!!! u can say things abt me logically but if u involve family, tats wat u r goin 2 getOriginally posted by makiko:SAME GOES TO UR MUM -
Originally posted by MRMUSICPRODUCER:KNNBCCB if u dont understand, KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BY!!! u can say things abt me logically but if u involve family, tats wat u r goin 2 get
Gentlemen.. Control yourselves...Originally posted by makiko:SAME GOES TO UR MUM -
Originally posted by Nu^Ren:
[b]Erm... Neither. I belong to VIRGO. Cheers![/b] You feel alot... but does he knows anything on what you have written in this post?
Insecurity? Or lack of proper communication, which give rise to the insecurity?
What's security? Is there such thing as 100% secured? Even if he is around, technically speaking, you still wouldn't achieve the 100% secured marking because there isn't such a thing. When he is away and you feel vulnerable: are you experiencing some kind of situation that causes you great emotional distress and needed him very much? Or it is just because he is 'missing'... away on mission and this causes emotional inbalance?
Soon is right about a boyfriend's responsibility to be there when their gf needed them to tide over critical emotional times - but this only applies to the above former. As for the latter, the underlying problem actually lies with the gf themselves. To rush back in the middle of his mission and to satisfy the latter's problem is what we call in Mandarin 'Zhi biao bu zhi ben'. And eventually, there are more missions to come, more days of longing... and the old problem crops up again and again... and again...
P.S: Does this insecurity comes with your past experience with guys (or past relationship) or does it appear because of him (your current relationship or probably only him alone)? Virgo has this tendency to think-too-much to the extend of being irrelevant. And being irrelevant is bad, especially for relationship - sprouting scenarios, characters, possibilities, etc that ain't there... but existed in your mind. You may like to communicate this thingy to him, for he may have yet to know the structure of your thinking and emotions. This will likely to cut your fear and insecurity by quite abit, through effective communication.
Cheers