how am i supposed to feel ?
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shhhh... her bf is SOF, those type chest big big thick thick 8 packs one.. solid. no wonder she so dependent on him
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I can forsee your mentality & IQ as you can only think & judge pple using that skin-deep only brain.Originally posted by MRMUSICPRODUCER:i forsee this gal, befriending another guy who she thinks can substitute her bf when he is not ard. gals r jus b i t c h e s
When u say gals r bitches, you are also indirectly aiming at your female gender family member. So dun expect pple to divide your Females family members out from the BTICHEs category.
So next time before you post a comment, think again. -
when i m ill, when i met accident, when i must get injection & therapy, when friends around me are always occupied with bfs. when i have no family to rely on, when i always wanted to do alot of things with him. He is not with me.when i have to go through all this alone. I dun blame him for not being able to be with me, but this really causes me to be really emotionally unstable at times. But as i say, i din want to impose myself as a additonal burden to him, so thats y i am seeking for a more appropiate help on what should i do.Originally posted by Yunhaier:are you experiencing some kind of situation that causes you great emotional distress and needed him very much? Or it is just because he is 'missing'... away on mission and this causes emotional inbalance?
Soon is right about a boyfriend's responsibility to be there when their gf needed them to tide over critical emotional times - but this only applies to the above former. As for the latter, the underlying problem actually lies with the gf themselves. To rush back in the middle of his mission and to satisfy the latter's problem is what we call in Mandarin 'Zhi biao bu zhi ben'. And eventually, there are more missions to come, more days of longing... and the old problem crops up again and again... and again...
P.S: Does this insecurity comes with your past experience with guys (or past relationship) or does it appear because of him (your current relationship or probably only him alone)? Virgo has this tendency to think-too-much to the extend of being irrelevant. And being irrelevant is bad, especially for relationship - sprouting scenarios, characters, possibilities, etc that ain't there... but existed in your mind. You may like to communicate this thingy to him, for he may have yet to know the structure of your thinking and emotions. This will likely to cut your fear and insecurity by quite abit, through effective communication.
Cheers
My previous relationship before my current bf was a total mess. Tat ex bf of mine simply walked out of my life without a word, without any explaination. Later then i found out that he had listened to his younger bro to choose freedom to enjoy life (by gg nightclubs) instead of our relationship.
I seriously wants to talk it out wif my bf, but it seems like he dun even hve e time to call me. And to think that his mission will only end Aug 2006.... -
Originally posted by Nu^Ren:when i m ill, when i met accident, when i must get injection & therapy, when friends around me are always occupied with bfs. when i have no family to rely on, when i always wanted to do alot of things with him. He is not with me.when i have to go through all this alone. I dun blame him for not being able to be with me, but this really causes me to be really emotionally unstable at times. But as i say, i din want to impose myself as a additonal burden to him, so thats y i am seeking for a more appropiate help on what should i do.
My previous relationship before my current bf was a total mess. Tat ex bf of mine simply walked out of my life without a word, without any explaination. Later then i found out that he had listened to his younger bro to choose freedom to enjoy life (by gg nightclubs) instead of our relationship.
I seriously wants to talk it out wif my bf, but it seems like he dun even hve e time to call me. And to think that his mission will only end Aug 2006....
It seemed to be a mixture of both.
I don't know how much it actually affects: your past experience seemed to have bring on a complete new form of fear into your current relationship. You had lost the previous relationship suddenly, without explaination like you have mentioned, and lingered much in a terrible mess. This sudden, unexplained lost is somewhat re-portraying the emotional scene right now, with your bf away on a long mission - 'missing' but with reasons.
The heart probably feels a similar picture and trigger a defensive alarm with you wanting him back to your side so badly, to end the mental and emotional torment.
You have to acknowledge that something is wrong, either with you or the dynamic of the relationship. And either one has to compromise and sacrifice to allow better cruise of your love.
P.S: Do NOT substitute a face-to-face talk through a hasty phone conversation. Since the topic is pretty heavy and require much emotional thinking, it is better for him to complete his mission, meet up in some good environment and speak out. Since you have some time on hand, you may like to plan what you want to say to him, think about your options available and possible complications or consequences. (Somewhat like a SWOT analysis to a Business student)
Cheers -
hey all..i m new here in this forum..suddenly feel so lost..my bf n i are approaching our 6 months together..i got a lot insecurities..he is not a very expressive person..doesn't really say i lov u or i miss u but is ok cos actions speaks louder than words..i really dunno whether he really dos like me or love me..how can u tell if he intends to break...he goes clubbin n everytime he jokes abt gettin which gals num etc..actually my mind is blank at this pt of time..jus scared...dunno wat to do...his last msg was rather cold..i asked him where is he..n he jus replied..at hm..going to slp..tired...tats exactly how he said..sounds so cold...i saw him on msn n he logged out shortly...insecurities n being overly sensitive does hinder my feelins...lostttt..............can any one give me some advice...thanks............
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I guess both of you are still in poly or JC ehh....Originally posted by sheryll:hey all..i m new here in this forum..suddenly feel so lost..my bf n i are approaching our 6 months together..i got a lot insecurities..he is not a very expressive person..doesn't really say i lov u or i miss u but is ok cos actions speaks louder than words..i really dunno whether he really dos like me or love me..how can u tell if he intends to break...he goes clubbin n everytime he jokes abt gettin which gals num etc..actually my mind is blank at this pt of time..jus scared...dunno wat to do...his last msg was rather cold..i asked him where is he..n he jus replied..at hm..going to slp..tired...tats exactly how he said..sounds so cold...i saw him on msn n he logged out shortly...insecurities n being overly sensitive does hinder my feelins...lostttt..............can any one give me some advice...thanks............ -
Originally posted by sheryll:hey all..i m new here in this forum..suddenly feel so lost..my bf n i are approaching our 6 months together..i got a lot insecurities..he is not a very expressive person..doesn't really say i lov u or i miss u but is ok cos actions speaks louder than words..i really dunno whether he really dos like me or love me..how can u tell if he intends to break...he goes clubbin n everytime he jokes abt gettin which gals num etc..actually my mind is blank at this pt of time..jus scared...dunno wat to do...his last msg was rather cold..i asked him where is he..n he jus replied..at hm..going to slp..tired...tats exactly how he said..sounds so cold...i saw him on msn n he logged out shortly...insecurities n being overly sensitive does hinder my feelins...lostttt..............can any one give me some advice...thanks............ Think it would be better for you to start a new topic altogether. Probably I will reply from there also.
Cheers -
X 2.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Think it would be better for you to start a new topic altogether. Probably I will reply from there also.
Cheers -
X 3.Originally posted by Devil1976:X 2. -
He called me today!!!but still, i din brought up the matter...no time for such long talk...
& i noticed he has been communicating wif his previous ex b4 me through emails.. I happened to read it cos i got his password which i believe he has forgetten that am having it. They juz having casual "talk" although... but, why, did he has the time to "talk" to her via emails & not me??? Is it a good idea to clarify my doubts with him? -
I think girls always have the tendency in thinking that by talking with their ex means their bf must have something up their sleeves. Generally for guys(majority not all), once they break up with their ex, the feeling is no more. By communicating with his ex might be a means to catch up and update on their friendship only.Originally posted by Nu^Ren:He called me today!!!but still, i din brought up the matter...no time for such long talk...
& i noticed he has been communicating wif his previous ex b4 me through emails.. I happened to read it cos i got his password which i believe he has forgetten that am having it. They juz having casual "talk" although... but, why, did he has the time to "talk" to her via emails & not me??? Is it a good idea to clarify my doubts with him?
But since u are having this insecurity, yes its good to clarify your doubt with him. Actually we already have advice you alot of times to talk to him about it aint it? -
It really depends on ths situation on how u break up b4 u see if u are able to comuunicate with ur ex. For me, my case was quite bad that I did not communicate with my ex at all. Of cos, there are th ose who do at all.Originally posted by SoonKeong:I think girls always have the tendency in thinking that by talking with their ex means their bf must have something up their sleeves. Generally for guys(majority not all), once they break up with their ex, the feeling is no more. By communicating with his ex might be a means to catch up and update on their friendship only.
But since u are having this insecurity, yes its good to clarify your doubt with him. Actually we already have advice you alot of times to talk to him about it aint it?
There are also guys who aready break le then some years later realise the ex is good then wana chase back. But then its too late cos shes aready over him and in a rls.
It will be good to tok to him abt ur insecurities. If u cant wait, just tell him the nxt time when he calls. There is no real good time or bad time to tell this thing cos I think its important to make ur feelings known. -
X4?Originally posted by SoonKeong:X 3.
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Don't think too much...Originally posted by Nu^Ren:He called me today!!!but still, i din brought up the matter...no time for such long talk...
& i noticed he has been communicating wif his previous ex b4 me through emails.. I happened to read it cos i got his password which i believe he has forgetten that am having it. They juz having casual "talk" although... but, why, did he has the time to "talk" to her via emails & not me??? Is it a good idea to clarify my doubts with him?
And.. DON'T intrude people's privacy..