very bad social skills...
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i'm a very shy person and i find it extremely difficult to be myself when in the company of strangers or new people.In fact,i have quite a reputation for being quiet and i don't think many people know me well.'Opening up' is not easy for me and sometimes,putting in the effort to try and be more sociable takes alot of energy.The result of my introversion is that i don't make friends as quickly as others and i can get pretty lonely in school or at social events,especially since i've just entered jc this year which is a new environment with few familiar faces.the situation is like this:
i've been in jc for 6 months and up till now i still havnt really made any friends,i usually eat alone,go home alone and basically keep to myself for the whole day.
that sucks.....
and my other problem is,when people try to reach out to me,i'd feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to react.so the body language and even the words i speak come out,not-quite-as-meant and this only serves to worsen my situation cos everybody thinks i PREFER to stick to myself.
waaaaaargh....anyone care to speak a few words of wisdom? -
Join a Co-Curricular Activities club? That helped me a lot when I was in a bit of a culture shock after ten years of single-sex school education.
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u should see me at outing... quiet like a stoneOriginally posted by ironoxideman:i'm a very shy person and i find it extremely difficult to be myself when in the company of strangers or new people.In fact,i have quite a reputation for being quiet and i don't think many people know me well.'Opening up' is not easy for me and sometimes,putting in the effort to try and be more sociable takes alot of energy.The result of my introversion is that i don't make friends as quickly as others and i can get pretty lonely in school or at social events,especially since i've just entered jc this year which is a new environment with few familiar faces.the situation is like this:
i've been in jc for 6 months and up till now i still havnt really made any friends,i usually eat alone,go home alone and basically keep to myself for the whole day.
that sucks.....
and my other problem is,when people try to reach out to me,i'd feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to react.so the body language and even the words i speak come out,not-quite-as-meant and this only serves to worsen my situation cos everybody thinks i PREFER to stick to myself.
waaaaaargh....anyone care to speak a few words of wisdom?
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R u being too self-conscious? Or is there a problem?
U can always start by looking more approachable. Smile abit more & be sincere. Don't keep thinking about how would pple look @ or think of u. Its not only about urself.. make an effort, go out there & know more abt pple too. Juz be urself & relax! Start slow.. smile abit more everyday?
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Hi,
I still remember what my poly director told us: "...... there is several signs that there is lonely trees in a forest......". These people prefers to do everything on their own and even for group projects, they want the project effort to be splitted up accordingly so that they can do it on their own. Basically, these people are quite poor thing cos in project grouping, they are forced to form a grp cos no one will ever wants them to be in their team.
I am a working adult now, my advice to you is that dont think too much when making friends cos I believe genuine friends will want to see your true self and not someone putting on a mask creating a favorable position to be accepted by the clique. In times to come, you will see yourself mixing with the unique clique of friends in your JC.
Remember, when you enter the working world, you will naturally lost contacts with several friends and only good ones will maintain contacts with you.
Cheer up -
I know is hard for you to open up. Just try whatever it takes. Maybe by reading aloud when you read story books or even. Talk to one of your friends about the poroblem yo are having now. I'm sure they will listen and give you good advie. The other thing you can do is to get a outdoor sales job. Or ask people to give you interview, remember DON'T ask in one or two word, Try for five words first, then ten and so on...
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Originally posted by ironoxideman:
When in a conversation with stranger or new friend.Tell yrself to talk to them.In yr mind("They r not going to eat me up,right? What so afraid and hard to talk more to them. Am I a chicken by being afraid and uneasy talking to them?") Try to create more courage,confident and a bit cocky but not overdone.(U see cocky people talk with confident!) Quickly yr body will get into that state and start talking more and with ease...
i'm a very shy person and i find it extremely difficult to be myself when in the company of strangers or new people.In fact,i have quite a reputation for being quiet and i don't think many people know me well.'Opening up' is not easy for me and sometimes,putting in the effort to try and be more sociable takes alot of energy.The result of my introversion is that i don't make friends as quickly as others and i can get pretty lonely in school or at social events,especially since i've just entered jc this year which is a new environment with few familiar faces.the situation is like this:
i've been in jc for 6 months and up till now i still havnt really made any friends,i usually eat alone,go home alone and basically keep to myself for the whole day.
that sucks.....
and my other problem is,when people try to reach out to me,i'd feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to react.so the body language and even the words i speak come out,not-quite-as-meant and this only serves to worsen my situation cos everybody thinks i PREFER to stick to myself.
waaaaaargh....anyone care to speak a few words of wisdom? -
thanks for your help people,i really appreciate it and will keep your advice in mind
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I think... perhap the first important thing is to tell yourself
just because you are quiet, it doesn't make you a less worthy person to be a friend of.
Its funny but a lot of my very good friends
are those considered very quiet by others... even my husband hardly talked much when I first met him
But the thing I realise about quiet people is that...
so many of them have such an interesting inner world
the way they think, the way they observe people,
and many of them have a quiet sense of humour
(that becomes more and more obvious when they are comfortable with you)
I think once you realise that you are really a special person even if you are quiet and you don't have to PURPOSELY be interesting,
or engaging when you talk
just be yourself, and seek the activities that you are most interested in
and you won't feel so much pressure to interact
and when that happens, your natural personality will come out easier
and trust me, the friends who are WORTH IT, will take an interest
to get to know you more and I am sure,
they will be pleasantly surprised at what you have to offer them. -
i'm naturally shy 2 ~
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ShrodingersCat..i think u hit the jackpot on this subject~!..good job!Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:I think... perhap the first important thing is to tell yourself
just because you are quiet, it doesn't make you a less worthy person to be a friend of.
Its funny but a lot of my very good friends
are those considered very quiet by others... even my husband hardly talked much when I first met him
But the thing I realise about quiet people is that...
so many of them have such an interesting inner world
the way they think, the way they observe people,
and many of them have a quiet sense of humour
(that becomes more and more obvious when they are comfortable with you)
I think once you realise that you are really a special person even if you are quiet and you don't have to PURPOSELY be interesting,
or engaging when you talk
just be yourself, and seek the activities that you are most interested in
and you won't feel so much pressure to interact
and when that happens, your natural personality will come out easier
and trust me, the friends who are WORTH IT, will take an interest
to get to know you more and I am sure,
they will be pleasantly surprised at what you have to offer them.
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I'm very quiet too, actually I talk quite alot when I'm with just one person, however, when in threesomes I just let the other two do the talking and i will walk behind them, don't know why... sometimes i fell that they talk until they forgot that i'm still with them loh. Btw, which jc are you from?
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got bf or gf?
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yeap,goes the same for me.it even happens if the other 2 are close friends.i'm frm CJ,where u studying/working as?Originally posted by polarsnake:I'm very quiet too, actually I talk quite alot when I'm with just one person, however, when in threesomes I just let the other two do the talking and i will walk behind them, don't know why... sometimes i fell that they talk until they forgot that i'm still with them loh. Btw, which jc are you from? -
nah,haha.i'm so quiet,how to get girl's attention?Originally posted by sgboy2004:got bf or gf? -
im shy n quiet too wen I was in sec school. But had few gfs here n thre. I guess they were attracted by my shyness...
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me too
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issit...but you must have been daring enough to pursue the r/s.so how now?not shy alrdy ah?Originally posted by alexkusu:im shy n quiet too wen I was in sec school. But had few gfs here n thre. I guess they were attracted by my shyness... -
i remember one time tis really hot anglo-saxon girl talk to me..ask me how to say sumthing in french..i started talking then suddenly become nervous n told her to shut up..then i walk away...........really so paiseh man!Originally posted by ironoxideman:issit...but you must have been daring enough to pursue the r/s.so how now?not shy alrdy ah?
wen i went campus, i ddnt knw ppl, so I just make frens myself. I knw im shy, but ppl say im not shy. I soon made frens with about 80% of ppl in my campus halls before the 1st semester ends. I had many 'casual' frends that sometime its very tiring. I prefer to be alone sometimes.
Now...I think im still shy leh. -
mix more with your classmates first..no harm starting from platonic relationships..
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Originally posted by alexkusu:
wow man,i havn't told any girl to shut up yet. (besides my sis but that doesn't really count)
i remember one time tis really hot anglo-saxon girl talk to me..ask me how to say sumthing in french..i started talking then suddenly become nervous n [b]told her to shut up..then i walk away...........really so paiseh man!
wen i went campus, i ddnt knw ppl, so I just make frens myself. I knw im shy, but ppl say im not shy. I soon made frens with about 80% of ppl in my campus halls before the 1st semester ends. I had many 'casual' frends that sometime its very tiring. I prefer to be alone sometimes.
Now...I think im still shy leh.[/b]
pple like us get tired fast in the company of others but still is difficult being alone.need to find some sort of equilibrium -
i was nervous man! it was in the presence of an angel. She is like the school's beauty with guys chasing after her.N she came to talk to me! unexpected..i ddnt prepare for it.Originally posted by ironoxideman:wow man,i havn't told any girl to shut up yet. (besides my sis but that doesn't really count)
pple like us get tired fast in the company of others but still is difficult being alone.need to find some sort of equilibrium -
i am shy when i talk to girls...most girls my age
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haha,she probably still remembers you.Good job man!you made a lasting impressionOriginally posted by alexkusu:i was nervous man! it was in the presence of an angel. She is like the school's beauty with guys chasing after her.N she came to talk to me! unexpected..i ddnt prepare for it. -
i wish i could even scold a girl...i just blush and walk away like a wussOriginally posted by ironoxideman:haha,she probably still remembers you.Good job man!you made a lasting impression