being parents automatically grants them rights 2 everything?
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i handed my passbook to my mum for safekeeping in the morning the other day when all of us left home for work because i didnt want to carry it ard. then just now she nagged scolded etc me for my spendings and i am furious not because of her comments but the fact that she just went thru things without even telling me.
it;s not that i want her to apologize or call me for permission but it's plain rude to just look through ppl's things without consent. it's just like saying the postman digs thru yr mail piece by piece before delivering to you or yr nosey sister reading through love letters.
she still defends herself thinking that because she's my mum means she is given this natural right to do anything she wants with my things because she is my mum. how is this kind of thinking different from being in a dictatorship regime ? where my word is law ?
when she goes thru my sis's stuff my sis protests and my mum apologises and leaves the room, yet when i protest i am given this crap of "because i am yr mum so i can do anything i want " rule.
ironically she always complains my sis and i dont respect her. how to respect someone who simply digs thru ppl's things in the self-imposed god given rights?
yeah yeah i know, my fault again. it;s always my fault right ? standard replies -
get a safe.
lock everything up. -
yes your parents own every part of you except your soul.
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If the money came from my folks, then I have no say.
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Thruout your postings here.Originally posted by bismarck:i handed my passbook to my mum for safekeeping in the morning the other day when all of us left home for work because i didnt want to carry it ard. then just now she nagged scolded etc me for my spendings and i am furious not because of her comments but the fact that she just went thru things without even telling me.
it;s not that i want her to apologize or call me for permission but it's plain rude to just look through ppl's things without consent. it's just like saying the postman digs thru yr mail piece by piece before delivering to you or yr nosey sister reading through love letters.
she still defends herself thinking that because she's my mum means she is given this natural right to do anything she wants with my things because she is my mum. how is this kind of thinking different from being in a dictatorship regime ? where my word is law ?
when she goes thru my sis's stuff my sis protests and my mum apologises and leaves the room, yet when i protest i am given this crap of "because i am yr mum so i can do anything i want " rule.
ironically she always complains my sis and i dont respect her. how to respect someone who simply digs thru ppl's things in the self-imposed god given rights?
yeah yeah i know, my fault again. it;s always my fault right ? standard replies
Ever Considered shifting out of the house?
I guess a few months out of home would do you good.
From there, you could decide if you want to stay with your family or not.
Cheers -
nonono, I say 3 weeks bmt at tekong should just do the trick.
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not surprising. nvr their faultOriginally posted by M©+square:Thruout your postings here.
Ever Considered shifting out of the house?
I guess a few months out of home would do you good.
From there, you could decide if you want to stay with your family or not.
Cheers -
She would dig into your thing... mean she still care about u... she would scold u... cuase she feel that u are anyhow spending..and wanted to know how u are spending your money....Originally posted by bismarck:i handed my passbook to my mum for safekeeping in the morning the other day when all of us left home for work because i didnt want to carry it ard. then just now she nagged scolded etc me for my spendings and i am furious not because of her comments but the fact that she just went thru things without even telling me.
it;s not that i want her to apologize or call me for permission but it's plain rude to just look through ppl's things without consent. it's just like saying the postman digs thru yr mail piece by piece before delivering to you or yr nosey sister reading through love letters.
she still defends herself thinking that because she's my mum means she is given this natural right to do anything she wants with my things because she is my mum. how is this kind of thinking different from being in a dictatorship regime ? where my word is law ?
when she goes thru my sis's stuff my sis protests and my mum apologises and leaves the room, yet when i protest i am given this crap of "because i am yr mum so i can do anything i want " rule.
ironically she always complains my sis and i dont respect her. how to respect someone who simply digs thru ppl's things in the self-imposed god given rights?
yeah yeah i know, my fault again. it;s always my fault right ? standard replies
u think it us..who are outsider... i bother to even open your passbook and look... and scold u for spending too much money... ??
if u can't stand your mum nagging it ok... sometime i can't stand too... but she has the right to see my thing... what is a passbook.dudez.. is it really something so private..that even family member can't see?? if it diary.. and some other more personal stuff.. she has no right..but a passbook
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Last tieme my mom looked through my journals and all the letters that were sent to me. And as if that is not enough, she looked through the poems I have written, letters I have written, stories I have written and even wanted to read the e-mails I received. Compared to me, you are pretty lucky
Right now, I am not staying with them, if there is one reason I don't want to go back home, it will be bcause once I go back again, all this invasion of privacy will start all over again
and my mom used the same excuse too,"I am your mother, so I have the right to look through everything you have." -
Infringement of privacy ? I guess no individual in this forum would like anyone to infringe their private properties. However, maybe , I should re-instate our mums does this from a good starting intention , prehaps in the wrong way .
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No shouldn't think this way.Originally posted by bismarck:not surprising. nvr their fault
If you think you're right, get a solution out of this.
Your family maybe a hindering factor to your growth and maturity.
I'm not suggesting you to leave home and never go back.
Just take a few weeks - months off from them. Stay elsewhere and find out for yourself which is better for you.
Seriously, you don't have to resent about them and make yourself miserable.
I trust that you can make decisions on your own already.
Do yourself a favour.
Find your solution. -
Well yea, I can understand about their good intention but have you had it happened to you before? It is really exasperating, and I swear I would never do it next time to my own kidsOriginally posted by FaithGuy:Infringement of privacy ? I guess no individual in this forum would like anyone to infringe their private properties. However, maybe , I should re-instate our mums does this from a good starting intention , prehaps in the wrong way . -
one day you will become a parent and the role will be reversed.
i am sure your grandparents did the same to your parents too. -
No, I swear that I would never do it and I am a person of my wordOriginally posted by dragg:one day you will become a parent and the role will be reversed.
i am sure your grandparents did the same to your parents too.
because I think the more you try to snoop, the more the person will lose trust in you. I rather have my own kids come to me to confide about their problems. Communication is everything in a relationship, and even between that of a parent and child. The parents should understand this and endeavor to ask and understand what the kids have to say rather than going around snooping thru their stuff. -
If you dont like people to look through your things, dun trust your parents with anything lor....keep everything to yourself. Lock up your room door.
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Have to act like a refugee even in the compound of your own home? How sad is that?Originally posted by shade343:If you dont like people to look through your things, dun trust your parents with anything lor....keep everything to yourself. Lock up your room door. -
you think parents who do all those snooping around dont understand this?Originally posted by rainee:No, I swear that I would never do it and I am a person of my word
because I think the more you try to snoop, the more the person will lose trust in you. I rather have my own kids come to me to confide about their problems. Communication is everything in a relationship, and even between that of a parent and child. The parents should understand this and endeavor to ask and understand what the kids have to say rather than going around snooping thru their stuff.
ask yourself how often you see things that are not right but people just do it.
it is always easier said than done. -
You want privacy mah....Originally posted by rainee:Have to act like a refugee even in the compound of your own home? How sad is that? -
Grow up faster, earn the moolah, and get the f out of your house where your folks can't touch you.
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Thing is, once they snoop, it became a habit. Then they will do it more and more until the kids lost trust in them.Originally posted by dragg:you think parents who do all those snooping around dont understand this?
ask yourself how often you see things that are not right but people just do it.
it is always easier said than done.
Like me, I don't rebel, but I just don't trust them anymore. Then they asked me why I never talked to them as much anymore, they don't know it is because i do not trust them as much anymore -
Agree.Originally posted by ditzy:Grow up faster, earn the moolah, and get the f out of your house where your folks can't touch you.
i'm rarely home early anyway. -
that is exactly the problem.
how did parents and children end up hardly talking to each other?
they brought you up and provided for you, sometimes more than providing for themselves.
try visualising this scenario...
a couple happily hugging and playing with their child, a toddler or maybe older. ten years later they dont or hardly talk to each other anymore.
how do you think the parents feel?
maybe your parents are guilty of all the things that made you unhappy but it is not like you are planning to live with them for the rest of your live!! one day you will leave home and be on your own. most people do that nowadays.
do you really want to make your parents miserable, directly or indirectly?
i am guilty of it too. i hardly talk to my father. i deeply regretted after he died.
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I have to take care of them one leh after I start working, so even after I am married I would still end up staying with them. I am not as cruel as to throw them into old folks' home..Originally posted by dragg:that is exactly the problem.
how did parents and children end up hardly talking to each other?
they brought you up and provided for you, sometimes more than providing for themselves.
try visualising this scenario...
a couple happily hugging and playing with their child, a toddler or maybe older. ten years later they dont or hardly talk to each other anymore.
how do you think the parents feel?
maybe your parents are guilty of all the things that made you unhappy but it is not like you are planning to live with them for the rest of your live!! one day you will leave home and be on your own. most people do that nowadays.
do you really want to make your parents miserable, directly or indirectly?
i am guilty of it too. i hardly talk to my father. i deeply regretted after he died. -
Children owe a duty to parents to take good care of them. Parents have a duty to take good care of children. What goes around comes around...Originally posted by dragg:that is exactly the problem.
how did parents and children end up hardly talking to each other?
they brought you up and provided for you, sometimes more than providing for themselves.
try visualising this scenario...
a couple happily hugging and playing with their child, a toddler or maybe older. ten years later they dont or hardly talk to each other anymore.
how do you think the parents feel?
maybe your parents are guilty of all the things that made you unhappy but it is not like you are planning to live with them for the rest of your live!! one day you will leave home and be on your own. most people do that nowadays.
do you really want to make your parents miserable, directly or indirectly?
i am guilty of it too. i hardly talk to my father. i deeply regretted after he died. -
Well, in the future when we become parents, if there is an intention to do this , in fact I feel , something is very wrong . I am not saying I won't do it , but times life-threatening situation might force you to do so ...Originally posted by rainee:No, I swear that I would never do it and I am a person of my word
because I think the more you try to snoop, the more the person will lose trust in you. I rather have my own kids come to me to confide about their problems. Communication is everything in a relationship, and even between that of a parent and child. The parents should understand this and endeavor to ask and understand what the kids have to say rather than going around snooping thru their stuff.