being parents automatically grants them rights 2 everything?
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I can agree to what is said here. When I become a father, I said before I don't want my children to feel the way I felf about my parents. I want to be different where my children can come to me if they have any problems. Not like when I was young, I can never go to my parents if I ever have any problems. 18 years down the road, my son do not like to talk to me. He even mentioned " he is the last person in the world I would like to talk to " I may have over done my part, but consider your parent action now, why can't you accept it that they do out of love and care for you??? Do you have to have such a reaction to it ?? Think of it, how many more years live they have before they leave us for good. I am still regretting that my son is not talking to me. I am also regretting that I didn't talk to my father now that he is gone. I hope you don't fall into this vicious cycle.. Like what they say, what go round come around. Sure you can say alot of thing, I promised I won't do this do that, but in circumstances that is beyound your control, you can only start regretting only .... Then you will say "" If only ............... "Originally posted by rainee:Thing is, once they snoop, it became a habit. Then they will do it more and more until the kids lost trust in them.
Like me, I don't rebel, but I just don't trust them anymore. Then they asked me why I never talked to them as much anymore, they don't know it is because i do not trust them as much anymore
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my parents check my bank acc...wen they r overseas. So I just open another bank acc with different bank and forward the statements to a friend's place
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alright, anyway i just cannot talk to them...my parents accuse me of doing things I never do everytime I opened my mouth...and you cannot imagine what they have accused me of before...Originally posted by ahshuiger:I can agree to what is said here. When I become a father, I said before I don't want my children to feel the way I felf about my parents. I want to be different where my children can come to me if they have any problems. Not like when I was young, I can never go to my parents if I ever have any problems. 18 years down the road, my son do not like to talk to me. He even mentioned " he is the last person in the world I would like to talk to " I may have over done my part, but consider your parent action now, why can't you accept it that they do out of love and care for you??? Do you have to have such a reaction to it ?? Think of it, how many more years live they have before they leave us for good. I am still regretting that my son is not talking to me. I am also regretting that I didn't talk to my father now that he is gone. I hope you don't fall into this vicious cycle.. Like what they say, what go round come around. Sure you can say alot of thing, I promised I won't do this do that, but in circumstances that is beyound your control, you can only start regretting only .... Then you will say "" If only ............... " I have tried being patient and not get angry at them, I have tried to give them gifts during special occasions, but all they ever do to me is get angry at me over things that I have never done... 
And the things they did to me when I was small, you will never know how it is like unless you witnessed it...just talking about it are reminding me of all the bad memories -
if your parents did something unbecoming of a parent then i guess you have your reasons....Originally posted by rainee:alright, anyway i just cannot talk to them...my parents accuse me of doing things I never do everytime I opened my mouth...and you cannot imagine what they have accused me of before... I have tried being patient and not get angry at them, I have tried to give them gifts during special occasions, but all they ever do to me is get angry at me over things that I have never done...
And the things they did to me when I was small, you will never know how it is like unless you witnessed it...just talking about it are reminding me of all the bad memories
otherwise all children should try to understand their parents. even if you have to give in it is not too much to ask.
try... just try.... -
THAT IS WHAT OLD FOLKS' HOME IS FOR MORON IT'S FOR YOU TO THROW YOUR UNWANTED OLD THINGS THERE.Originally posted by rainee:I have to take care of them one leh after I start working, so even after I am married I would still end up staying with them. I am not as cruel as to throw them into old folks' home..
THEY RAISE YOU GIVE BIRTH TO YOU DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO REPAY THEM. IT'S THEIR DUTY AS A PARENT. YOU DIDN'T ASK THEM TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOU RIGHT? -
1.) Caplocks is for morons..Originally posted by Stanley Ho:THAT IS WHAT OLD FOLKS' HOME IS FOR MORON IT'S FOR YOU TO THROW YOUR UNWANTED OLD THINGS THERE.
THEY RAISE YOU GIVE BIRTH TO YOU DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO REPAY THEM. IT'S THEIR DUTY AS A PARENT. YOU DIDN'T ASK THEM TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOU RIGHT?
2.) BastaRds (Unwanted child born out of wedlock would say that)
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i almost forgot abt this.Originally posted by M©+square:No shouldn't think this way.
If you think you're right, get a solution out of this.
Your family maybe a hindering factor to your growth and maturity.
I'm not suggesting you to leave home and never go back.
Just take a few weeks - months off from them. Stay elsewhere and find out for yourself which is better for you.
Seriously, you don't have to resent about them and make yourself miserable.
I trust that you can make decisions on your own already.
Do yourself a favour.
Find your solution.
i once stayed 6 weeks in a foreign land with no contact with them other than to tell them i've reached aust and my flight details on my trip back.
i can tell u, i nvr missed them. in fact i was cursing as we got closer to the day we had to fly back.
i feel my parents' harsh handed approached strangled my ability to make judgements in life changing decisions. i couldnt even decide jc or poly that time and what course. it was after 6 decision changes that i settled on my plans for the future. though not as glamourous and well paying as my sis' job as a doctor.
which they still penalise me till now. this is still a sore point even after 4 years of arguements. ironic that my lecturer only taught me for 3 weeks and she realised that and my parents didnt.
my parents are geniuses.
monkey see monkey do. typical explanation for what so and so's actions to other ppl. so waht ? my gran did this to them doesnt mean they are given this right to do it to me. and waht am i supposed to do ?Originally posted by dragg:one day you will become a parent and the role will be reversed.
i am sure your grandparents did the same to your parents too.
spool this and spit it out on my offspring?
talk abt inheritance
nice.Originally posted by rainee:No, I swear that I would never do it and I am a person of my word
because I think the more you try to snoop, the more the person will lose trust in you. I rather have my own kids come to me to confide about their problems. Communication is everything in a relationship, and even between that of a parent and child. The parents should understand this and endeavor to ask and understand what the kids have to say rather than going around snooping thru their stuff.
my parents think i have to report to them everything i do. including the weight of my pee that day, how smelly my shi-t is, how many times i shi-t
and they think they are granted the rights to do anything, with immunity.
they probably think i got something to hide and use it as excuse to search.Originally posted by shade343:If you dont like people to look through your things, dun trust your parents with anything lor....keep everything to yourself. Lock up your room door.
genius!
my mum threatened to disown me and my dad took it as a stepping stone to scold me for other unrelated matters after my sis accused me of using 1 vulgarity on her when we quarelled.Originally posted by rainee:alright, anyway i just cannot talk to them...my parents accuse me of doing things I never do everytime I opened my mouth...and you cannot imagine what they have accused me of before... I have tried being patient and not get angry at them, I have tried to give them gifts during special occasions, but all they ever do to me is get angry at me over things that I have never done...
And the things they did to me when I was small, you will never know how it is like unless you witnessed it...just talking about it are reminding me of all the bad memories
ok loh. my dad scold me can use as much as he wants. until 1 in 3 words are vulgarities.
just now my dad just barge in and scold me for nothing again. asks me when i moving out( i would be glad to actually!) and screams at me for being rude to me. when i asked what i did, he gives his trademark " u think yrself" that usually follows his blanket scolding(where he can scold anything for anything) -
i've always noticed this. when we dont understand them, we have to LEARN to understand them. when they dont understand us, we have to TEACH them.Originally posted by dragg:if your parents did something unbecoming of a parent then i guess you have your reasons....
otherwise all children should try to understand their parents. even if you have to give in it is not too much to ask.
try... just try....
always the child's fault. -
seems like your case is a bit on the extreme.
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Trying looking up the older threads in AA?Originally posted by dragg:seems like your case is a bit on the extreme. -
haiz actually complains also no use one this kind of thing, can just bite the bullet lor and try to not do the same thing to your own kids next time...Doesn't mean that your parents have done it before you have to do it also...at least try not to repeat the same mistakes they have made...
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now i dont understand waht the hell he is scolding for.
always like that..last week also.
didnt talk to him much 1 or 2 sundays ago. only morning had some small talk then suddenly he ignored me and when my mum came back, she asked me why i told my dad to die. i protested to my mum that my sis and i didnt say such a thing at all because we had no axe to grind and we were both in our rooms, hence didnt have a chance to say anything at all.
4 hrs later, he was ok again. -
it is your fault
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Originally posted by Not4rent:it is your fault
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oso ur fault
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dunno wat to say dun sayOriginally posted by OMG!!!: oso ur fault -
still ur faultOriginally posted by rainee:dunno wat to say dun say
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sigh... parents.... when you needed them the most, they're not there. when you need them to stay out, they magically conjure an omni-present prying eye. oh boy....
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There's something known as MENOPAUSE among the elderly (especially women) which they don't agree is happening to their moods. Sometimes their mood is good but sometimes they vent their anger over trivia and when you're around , you suay suay become their target.
The remedy: stay far away if you can or avoid them seeing you live your life or know too much about your life - they'll tend to want to dictate your life as if you're still a little kid.
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Sad but true, being your parents have the right to everything. Thats what is seems like in my family.
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Let's not forget that parents are human too. They are how they were brought up. Look around, you will know what I mean... People doing thing in front of the kid and so the kid learn from there. Just like someone say, monkey see, monkey do... So your grandparent did that to your parent and of course they shouldn't. In your heart you'll say, you won't do that to your children. I said the same thing. I swear I didn't do to them what my parent did to me. I gave my children, more freedom, things that they asked for and be ready to lend a ear anytime they may need it. But these thing never come. I know I err somewhere but where and how.... how come my son don't want to talk to me ?? Perhaps it is the way I treat my parent in front of them ... isn't it ??? So my action is different from what I had said and now I am paying the price of it... Perhaps someone can tell me what to do now... I did not go through my children things and evedrop on his conversation but still they find me a nag and don't want to talk to me ....
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it is nobody's fault and everybody's fault. simply it is society's fault.
things are not what it used to be. love, marriage, culture, tradition, thinking. everything!!!! everything has deteriorated.
we can contribute ideas and come up with all sorts of reasoning but it is not going to help.
i wonder if anyone of you saw last week's 'youhuajiushuo'?
the younger generation has so much hostilities towards the older generation, not just their parents. they are unhappy about everything.
one said she was unhappy coz her grandma gave her a drumstick when she is on diet.
one said she was unhappy coz her grandparents pampered her too much and she blamed her grandparents for it.
can you believe this? -
it's your duty as a child to take care of them. ungrateful people like you are better off the face of this earth.Originally posted by Stanley Ho:THAT IS WHAT OLD FOLKS' HOME IS FOR MORON IT'S FOR YOU TO THROW YOUR UNWANTED OLD THINGS THERE.
THEY RAISE YOU GIVE BIRTH TO YOU DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO REPAY THEM. IT'S THEIR DUTY AS A PARENT. YOU DIDN'T ASK THEM TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOU RIGHT -
to sum yr post up it;s my fault loh.Originally posted by dragg:it is nobody's fault and everybody's fault. simply it is society's fault.
things are not what it used to be. love, marriage, culture, tradition, thinking. everything!!!! everything has deteriorated.
we can contribute ideas and come up with all sorts of reasoning but it is not going to help.
i wonder if anyone of you saw last week's 'youhuajiushuo'?
the younger generation has so much hostilities towards the older generation, not just their parents. they are unhappy about everything.
one said she was unhappy coz her grandma gave her a drumstick when she is on diet.
one said she was unhappy coz her grandparents pampered her too much and she blamed her grandparents for it.
can you believe this? -
I have tried telling her how I would like she to be like...like listen to me more, understand me more...but sadly she never pays attention to whatever I told herOriginally posted by ahshuiger:Let's not forget that parents are human too. They are how they were brought up. Look around, you will know what I mean... People doing thing in front of the kid and so the kid learn from there. Just like someone say, monkey see, monkey do... So your grandparent did that to your parent and of course they shouldn't. In your heart you'll say, you won't do that to your children. I said the same thing. I swear I didn't do to them what my parent did to me. I gave my children, more freedom, things that they asked for and be ready to lend a ear anytime they may need it. But these thing never come. I know I err somewhere but where and how.... how come my son don't want to talk to me ?? Perhaps it is the way I treat my parent in front of them ... isn't it ??? So my action is different from what I had said and now I am paying the price of it... Perhaps someone can tell me what to do now... I did not go through my children things and evedrop on his conversation but still they find me a nag and don't want to talk to me ....