being parents automatically grants them rights 2 everything?
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they nvr do...Originally posted by rainee:I have tried telling her how I would like she to be like...like listen to me more, understand me more...but sadly she never pays attention to whatever I told her
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Sometime, it is when and how you tell them. I wish my children will want to tell me what they expect of me or want me to do. At least I have a direction to work on. Likewise, you must find the right time to do it. Be serious and tell them how you feel and what you want. Sometimes, you have to try harder and it is not so easy. They are your parents and you should know their stlye and habit. So catch them when the mood is right. Afterall, for so many years there was never a talk like this so how you start is crucial too. Look out for opportunity, like when there is a sad story in the news. Share it with them and then let them know ... something like that la.... me no expert BUT I really wish my children would be like you, try to talk to me about their feeling.Originally posted by bismarck:they nvr do...
Then again, they may had tried and I don't know about it. Could it be that they are too substle, so much so I ignore them or is it that they did put in enough effort... Now that you mention in this post, perhaps I should try to talk to them instead... -
what if i say they insist on their way?Originally posted by ahshuiger:Sometime, it is when and how you tell them. I wish my children will want to tell me what they expect of me or want me to do. At least I have a direction to work on. Likewise, you must find the right time to do it. Be serious and tell them how you feel and what you want. Sometimes, you have to try harder and it is not so easy. They are your parents and you should know their stlye and habit. So catch them when the mood is right. Afterall, for so many years there was never a talk like this so how you start is crucial too. Look out for opportunity, like when there is a sad story in the news. Share it with them and then let them know ... something like that la.... me no expert BUT I really wish my children would be like you, try to talk to me about their feeling.
Then again, they may had tried and I don't know about it. Could it be that they are too substle, so much so I ignore them or is it that they did put in enough effort... Now that you mention in this post, perhaps I should try to talk to them instead...
i mean i've repeatedly told them i dont wanna be in marketing yet they treat it as if i am the one being stubborn and refusing to listen to them.
only my mum acknowledges what i say when i ask for them to be more understanding not my dad. he just thinks i am rebelling against him.
but my mum doesnt do anything though she acknowledges it, maybe she's busy with other things. -
Understand...Originally posted by bismarck:what if i say they insist on their way?
i mean i've repeatedly told them i dont wanna be in marketing yet they treat it as if i am the one being stubborn and refusing to listen to them.
only my mum acknowledges what i say when i ask for them to be more understanding not my dad. he just thinks i am rebelling against him.
but my mum doesnt do anything though she acknowledges it, maybe she's busy with other things.
There are some people who you just have to live with until you become independent enough... And when you become independent enough..? There're probably still some people you have mixed around with whether you like it or not.....? -
sigh...when it's my fault i get put down like crapOriginally posted by Devil1976:Understand...
There are some people who you just have to live with until you become independent enough... And when you become independent enough..? There're probably still some people you have mixed around with whether you like it or not.....?
when it's their fault it becomes " try to talk to them nicely or i have to live with whether i like it or not"
it;s not directed at anyone but i more or less get the blame for many things i am not even linked to. -
At least your mum understand. So maybe you should try to get your mum to help out. As to your dad, probably he think you are in a better position to be in marketing. He is very sure and full of confident in you that he is insisting in that you do marketing. I am sure he feel that this should provide for your future... Look at it this way, if he doesn't feel for you like this, it would either mean he have no confident in you or he just doesn't care about you. You can prove him wrong by showing him your strong point on what you want to do. Make sure you do it right and he can be proud of you.... It is how you react that make him think you are rebelling ....Originally posted by bismarck:what if i say they insist on their way?
i mean i've repeatedly told them i dont wanna be in marketing yet they treat it as if i am the one being stubborn and refusing to listen to them.
only my mum acknowledges what i say when i ask for them to be more understanding not my dad. he just thinks i am rebelling against him.
but my mum doesnt do anything though she acknowledges it, maybe she's busy with other things. -
the only reason why i tink i shld be in marketing is because he thinks it pays well....the same reason why he chose to leave his then 4-5k/mth job for shares trading.Originally posted by ahshuiger:At least your mum understand. So maybe you should try to get your mum to help out. As to your dad, probably he think you are in a better position to be in marketing. He is very sure and full of confident in you that he is insisting in that you do marketing. I am sure he feel that this should provide for your future... Look at it this way, if he doesn't feel for you like this, it would either mean he have no confident in you or he just doesn't care about you. You can prove him wrong by showing him your strong point on what you want to do. Make sure you do it right and he can be proud of you.... It is how you react that make him think you are rebelling ....
as if he very rich now. always getting money from my mom and scolding my mum when she refuses.
doesnt matter whether she understands or not, she just does nothing. always agree with my dad. he cant even provide for himself, much less consider whether i can in the future. the only time he doesnt think i am rebelling is when i listen to him wholeheartedly like a dog. -
Sometimes it's not about who's at fault and who's not...Originally posted by bismarck:sigh...when it's my fault i get put down like crap
when it's their fault it becomes " try to talk to them nicely or i have to live with whether i like it or not"
it;s not directed at anyone but i more or less get the blame for many things i am not even linked to.
It's just POSITIONS... Just like if one day your boss SCOLD you for something obviously not of your mistake.. What can you do? Either you SUCK THUMB, or you QUIT? -
they are your parents. you should respect them. it is your fault. kneel down and beg for forgiveness or leave the house and stay outside.
your choice -
thinking about the money nothgin wrong lah no money anythign else also no use le. he made the wrong choice maybe but then maybe if you can prove that marketing pay suks?Originally posted by bismarck:the only reason why i tink i shld be in marketing is because he thinks it pays well....the same reason why he chose to leave his then 4-5k/mth job for shares trading.
as if he very rich now. always getting money from my mom and scolding my mum when she refuses.
doesnt matter whether she understands or not, she just does nothing. always agree with my dad. he cant even provide for himself, much less consider whether i can in the future. the only time he doesnt think i am rebelling is when i listen to him wholeheartedly like a dog. -
QUITOriginally posted by Devil1976:Sometimes it's not about who's at fault and who's not...
It's just POSITIONS... Just like if one day your boss SCOLD you for something obviously not of your mistake.. What can you do? Either you SUCK THUMB, or you QUIT? -
same on my side too. i went ovs with a friend and all the time she was homesick and unhappy. i love it when i am away from sg. it is not about freedom because all along in sg i have all the freedom i need.Originally posted by bismarck:i almost forgot abt this.
i once stayed 6 weeks in a foreign land with no contact with them other than to tell them i've reached aust and my flight details on my trip back.
i can tell u, i nvr missed them. in fact i was cursing as we got closer to the day we had to fly back.
once i called back from ovs, my mother didnt even want to come to the phone. my father defended saying she was busy washing clothes and some lame reasons. i would have accepted it, if it wasnt that 2 yrs later when my elder brother was enlisted into ns and when he called, she dropped everything she was doing and came to the phone.
then again, i am irritated when i saw these repeated acts of bias-ness from her, but now all i will do is to roll my eyes and walk away.
on top of that i am utterly pissed when she demands i translate her insurance advice to her, or ask me to help her do her work she brought home as ot. i work 10 hrs a day she work 8 hrs leh, and my travel time is 1 hr. I reached home after 8.00 everynight while she is home since 4.30 (she starts work early).
Granted she needs to cook, but eventually what rational is that i must do her work while she reads the papers? -
In his case, he can't 'quit'... In extreme sense, he can only move out and live on his own if / when he's independent enough...?Originally posted by Not4rent:QUIT -
they have a different mindset
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bank book... if u got nothin dirty going on jus let mom see la... money is spent and even she nag the money also wont come back.
love letters ? see lor.. the letters are written for me, not my mom... maybe she's envying.
parents and siblings are, afterall one family. why get angry/fight wif the very people whom you share blood ties with?