LOVE OR LUST
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Originally posted by Magnus:
Love can be given without being expected in return.
Lust - One way. To satisfy only oneself
Love - Two way. To Give, knowing/expecting you will recieve in kind. -
To a certain extend, I have to disagree to that.Originally posted by Tuatau:Love can be given without being expected in return.
I would say if you love somebody, you would definitetly want a return in love & affection of sorts. That will be the ultimate fulfilment.
But if it's not reciprocated, we still love them anyway. right? -
Whatever, sex is defined to be: an expression of love or lust, sex before marriage is not safe. Leaves a scar on your life if your sex-partner does not become your spouse, depending on how the girl takes it though. I don't know about guys.
Getting married itself is also a risk since it might end in divorce but a smaller risk. In a marriage, there is proof of willingness to commit to build a relationship. If premarital sex is justified by love then why not love enough to make a sacrifice? Love and continuously loving is to build a stronger relationship and that often takes sacrifices as both parties might be different or very similar in character but when arguments arises, sacrifices for personal space, time and respect has to be made to build the relationship into a deeper meaning. So let pre-marital sex be just a small sacrifice to provide the girl a sense of security. Too expensive a gift? Let this guy pass and call the other in the line (if any).
Once you start having sex, reasoning might be marred by desires. There's also a higher risk of contracting STDs. Sex can also lead to cervix cancer in women, oral cancer in both genders though it is not the only cause.
There's a difference between humans and animals and that is stronger self-control. So its up to individuals to choose. Take the gamble and have fun expressing love physically (you might be lucky not to rot with some illness) before marriage or make the gift of a sacrifice. -
(Appreciating a woman's exterior and not her inner beauty):Originally posted by meblurblur:How many of us really understand the difference between love and lust.
When two persons in love..sex is necessary??
Need yr view on the above.
Lust is like looking at the cow and thinking of roast beef.
(Appreciating a woman as a whole): Love is like looking at the cow and thinking of how you could produce to get more cows from her.
Cheers -
i love to have sex but i prefer love den sex
sex is nothing without love and to be love by
someone is better den having sex -
I think you're thinking too far. Somewhat, i feel this post is alittle too negetive on r/s, marriage and sex.Originally posted by niehur:Whatever, sex is defined to be: an expression of love or lust, sex before marriage is not safe. Leaves a scar on your life if your sex-partner does not become your spouse, depending on how the girl takes it though. I don't know about guys.
Getting married itself is also a risk since it might end in divorce but a smaller risk. In a marriage, there is proof of willingness to commit to build a relationship. If premarital sex is justified by love then why not love enough to make a sacrifice? Love and continuously loving is to build a stronger relationship and that often takes sacrifices as both parties might be different or very similar in character but when arguments arises, sacrifices for personal space, time and respect has to be made to build the relationship into a deeper meaning. So let pre-marital sex be just a small sacrifice to provide the girl a sense of security. Too expensive a gift? Let this guy pass and call the other in the line (if any).
Once you start having sex, reasoning might be marred by desires. There's also a higher risk of contracting STDs. Sex can also lead to cervix cancer in women, oral cancer in both genders though it is not the only cause.
There's a difference between humans and animals and that is stronger self-control. So its up to individuals to choose. Take the gamble and have fun expressing love physically (you might be lucky not to rot with some illness) before marriage or make the gift of a sacrifice.
School of Conservative or school of hurt?
Care to enlighten me?
cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Super unorthodox leh. Haha...i cannot relate cows to woman.
[b](Appreciating a woman's exterior and not her inner beauty): Lust is like looking at the cow and thinking of roast beef.
(Appreciating a woman as a whole): Love is like looking at the cow and thinking of how you could produce to get more cows from her.
Cheers[/b]
Cheers -
I love roast beef. But I dun lust over it leh.
hmm.. -
School of logic. Just laying out bare facts minus the statistics. Which part do you think is conservative or smacking of hurt?Originally posted by M©+square:I think you're thinking too far. Somewhat, i feel this post is alittle too negetive on r/s, marriage and sex.
School of Conservative or school of hurt?
Care to enlighten me?
cheers
Care to enlighten me too? -
HAhahAHhahahaHahhahaHhahaHaha.Originally posted by M©+square:Super unorthodox leh. Haha...i cannot relate cows to woman.
Cheers
Cheers -
Originally posted by Magnus:To a certain extend, I have to disagree to that.
I would say if you love somebody, you would definitetly want a return in love & affection of sorts. That will be the ultimate fulfilment.
But if it's not reciprocated, we still love them anyway. right?
-
Originally posted by niehur:School of logic. Just laying out bare facts minus the statistics. Which part do you think is conservative or smacking of hurt?
Care to enlighten me too? Hmm.... -
Originally posted by Magnus:
That's why I said "Love can be given without being expected in return", not "Love is given and not expected in return."
To a certain extend, I have to disagree to that.
I would say if you love somebody, you would definitetly want a return in love & affection of sorts. That will be the ultimate fulfilment.
But if it's not reciprocated, we still love them anyway. right?
There is a possibility of love being given without being expected in return, there is a possibility that what is given is still love even if not recipocrated. Love not recipocrated is also a form of love (though many young people tend to confuse infatuation with love these days). Correct me if I am wrong, but are you trying to say that love given but not recipocrated is no longer love? That love has to be mutual to be love?
Which also brings to mind our recent discussion on a thread about True Love. If True Love is truly selfless, why does it have to expect anything in return? -
Two men went on an adventure.
The first man, LOVE, an introvert plain-looking guy, discovered a beautiful land with curvy terrain and two small hills and fell in love with it (but the land minded him as too average). He settled down, planted lots of fruit trees, watered and took good care of it.
The second, LUST, an extrovert good-looking guy, stumbled upon the plentiful plantation, saw and lusted after the delicious fruits (and the land was excited at the fiesty man) . Day after day, he'd pluck the mangoes, coconuts and watermelons tearing down branches until they were no more fruits left. Then he got bored and left the barren place to find similar plentiful plantations to satisfy his hunger. -
Well, Love given, but not reciprocated is still love. That's why i wrote 'we still love them anyway'.Originally posted by Tuatau:That's why I said "Love can be given without being expected in return", not "Love is given and not expected in return."
There is a possibility of love being given without being expected in return, there is a possibility that what is given is still love even if not recipocrated. Love not recipocrated is also a form of love (though many young people tend to confuse infatuation with love these days). Correct me if I am wrong, but are you trying to say that love given but not recipocrated is no longer love? That love has to be mutual to be love?
Which also brings to mind our recent discussion on a thread about True Love. If True Love is truly selfless, why does it have to expect anything in return?
Being selfless does not imply not to have/expect anything in return.
For example, if I made sacrifices out of love so that the recieving party can have a better life. Seeing that person valued that oppurtunity will be the best return for me like no other. -
Originally posted by Magnus:
So Love does not necessarily have to be two-way, you reckon?
Well, Love given, but not reciprocated is still love. That's why i wrote 'we still love them anyway'.
Being selfless does not imply not to have/expect anything in return.
For example, if I made sacrifices out of love so that the recieving party can have a better life. Seeing that person valued that oppurtunity will be the best return for me like no other.
"Seeing that person valued that oppurtunity will be the best return for me like no other." That'd be ideal. Suppose you didn't get to see "that person value that opportunity", would you stop giving love selflessly? Would you put an end to your gift of "True Love"?
If being selfless does not imply not to expect anything in return, then being selfless can imply to expect something in return, right? Wouldn't you say that to be truly "self-less" in every sense of the word, expecting recognition of the "self" or rather, the concept of the "self" is inconsequential?
It is of course a bonus when one receives a reward, tangible or otherwise, for one's efforts, but when one deems the reward (eg. return of love, recognition, appreciation) as the objective of one's labour of love, when one gives love only for the reward, could that kind of love be self-less?
This is probably all empty talk anyway *shrug*... Some may argue that love is for doers, not for thinkers. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
What a weird comparison.
[b](Appreciating a woman's exterior and not her inner beauty): Lust is like looking at the cow and thinking of roast beef.
(Appreciating a woman as a whole): Love is like looking at the cow and thinking of how you could produce to get more cows from her.
Cheers[/b]
Ok, if you produce more cows? that you do with the cows? roast them overtime so that the meat does not runs out? -
Lets think it this way, if you have sex ONLY after marriage and you found that your spouse cant satisfy you, what will you do?Originally posted by niehur:Whatever, sex is defined to be: an expression of love or lust, sex before marriage is not safe. Leaves a scar on your life if your sex-partner does not become your spouse, depending on how the girl takes it though. I don't know about guys.
Getting married itself is also a risk since it might end in divorce but a smaller risk. In a marriage, there is proof of willingness to commit to build a relationship. If premarital sex is justified by love then why not love enough to make a sacrifice? Love and continuously loving is to build a stronger relationship and that often takes sacrifices as both parties might be different or very similar in character but when arguments arises, sacrifices for personal space, time and respect has to be made to build the relationship into a deeper meaning. So let pre-marital sex be just a small sacrifice to provide the girl a sense of security. Too expensive a gift? Let this guy pass and call the other in the line (if any).
Once you start having sex, reasoning might be marred by desires. There's also a higher risk of contracting STDs. Sex can also lead to cervix cancer in women, oral cancer in both genders though it is not the only cause.
There's a difference between humans and animals and that is stronger self-control. So its up to individuals to choose. Take the gamble and have fun expressing love physically (you might be lucky not to rot with some illness) before marriage or make the gift of a sacrifice.
I have heard too many cases whereby husband find mistress, file divorce because of not enuff sex.
I will say i stand of sex before marriage. At least you know whether if your marriage will last anot. Of course, only have sex with your partner. -
Well done you said it bestOriginally posted by Magnus:Lust - One way. To satisfy only oneself
Love - Two way. To Give, knowing/expecting you will recieve in kind.
but for me i know is lust when after sex, i don't have the feeling anymore.
i don't think that can even be called lust.. i think is just wanna jerk off
!! -
Gee Guys and gals.....
Thanks for the insight...... Your answer is really fantastic.... learn a great deal from all.... -
Hmm...Originally posted by meblurblur:Gee Guys and gals.....
Thanks for the insight...... Your answer is really fantastic.... learn a great deal from all.... -
Love and lust to me can never be absolutely defined with words. With love, there will always be a little lust because you want to be physically intimate with your partner. The only wholeful determination of lust are FLINGS, unless they develop into something more, which is highly unlikely in most cases.
Lust can either be the spice to the relationship, dominated by love, or in more unfortunate cases, vice versa. In any case, you'll never really know until a situation occurs that tests the strength of the relationship. -
When 2 person having sex, is there love necessarY?Originally posted by meblurblur:How many of us really understand the difference between love and lust.
When two persons in love..sex is necessary??
Need yr view on the above.