How can you tell if your boyfriend hasn't gotten over his ex
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I have this wonderful boyfriend, but his ex is so pretty, so hot, and way more appealing than i am...she's got alot more going for her...so...I'm not sure if she's the best he's ever had and all that, because he doesn't really talk about his feelings...but I'd rather be hurt by the truth. IF the truth is what I think it is, at least. But...how...do I know he's gotten over her...? They were together for maybe 1 year plus...?
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Did he accidentally shout out his ex's name when he is having an orgasm?
why r u worried? why did they break? -
Dear Kimosabe,
Tell you a secret: You're Not alone in feeling that way, so don't need to feel bad about this : )
Let's put it this way. My guy's ex was average-looking, etc, but I was sooo insecure about myself, as I remember he was so nuts over her once, & he'd told me he was gonna wait for her his whole life (when we were still just best friends).
After we got together, I'd always harboured the doubt about his ex. I sat him down & told him how I felt. He reassured me at that time, but I told him that he'd been so in love with her, he'd told me he'd wait forever for her. So, I asked him to be patient enough to let me get over my doubts.
Whenever I started feeling that gnawing insecurity, I'd let him know, & he could then comfort me, ruffle my hair, pull me into his embrace, etc. Now, after time, I'm pretty much alright, & I know that he'd wait his lifetime for me. I also know that I mean more to him than she could ever mean...
However, each person is different, I can't guarantee you'll get the same reaction from your guy. It's a delicate issue, & you have to be careful so as Not to make him feel you're doubting his love. What I told my guy was that I knew he loved me heaps, but there was something bothering me so much, it was driving me crazy. But before I told him, I wanted him to know that it's Not because I doubt that he loves me, but I love him so much that I want to remove all the little traces of doubt about an issue.
So, he was willing to talk. And then everything, became ok : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Kimosabe:I have this wonderful boyfriend, but his ex is so pretty, so hot, and way more appealing than i am...she's got alot more going for her...so...I'm not sure if she's the best he's ever had and all that, because he doesn't really talk about his feelings...but I'd rather be hurt by the truth. IF the truth is what I think it is, at least. But...how...do I know he's gotten over her...? They were together for maybe 1 year plus...? -
Why think so much? Everyone has a past... You should be concentrating on your current relationship instead?Originally posted by Kimosabe:I have this wonderful boyfriend, but his ex is so pretty, so hot, and way more appealing than i am...she's got alot more going for her...so...I'm not sure if she's the best he's ever had and all that, because he doesn't really talk about his feelings...but I'd rather be hurt by the truth. IF the truth is what I think it is, at least. But...how...do I know he's gotten over her...? They were together for maybe 1 year plus...? -
if u dont trust him & worry so much then u r still not ready 4 this relationship. when 2 ppl decide 2 b together, trust is a very important factor
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do you have a ex ?
do u still love your ex? -
if you really want a litmus test, the best possible way is to ask him to talk about his ex. your job is to observe they way he converse. you can figure out by yourself from here now right?
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I do have an ex. A terrible one. Thing is, I know I'm insecure. I can't help it. I'll tell you why. I used to have a family, then dad died. My mom's psycho and everything, and I got pregnant and came back to Singapore. Was studying in Melbourne. Mum kicked me out of the house, so I'm staying with my current boyfriend. My ex and mum are good friends, and he tells her many false things about me which she somehow believes, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. I went through an abortion, lost my twin boys, carried them for 5 months too...was intending to keep them, but complications occured.
During the time we were together, he was showing me some pictures of his trip to Sydney, well i know it wasn't intended...but it happened to be the cd the parents weren't supposed to see...aka them kissing and all that. That hurt.
Maybe you can call me childish for now, but me feeling insecure is inevitable because right now I've really lost everything. Trying to tell it like it is without feeling sorry for myself. -
But I love him so much. More than anything. I don't want to bring it up all the time. Its unfair to him. I have no idea now what to do. I only want to make things better but at the moment my resources are limited. VERY. Today is our anniversary and I can't even buy a flower.
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But I love him so much. More than anything. I don't want to bring it up all the time. Its unfair to him. I have no idea now what to do. I only want to make things better but at the moment my resources are limited. VERY. Today is our anniversary and I can't even buy a flower for him. I know maybe material things don't really count, it doesn't of course, but I would love to give him something. I folded some cranes for him, but I ended up throwing it out one by one. Maybe that's not something valuable. Maybe if I sell some stuff I have, can get money and buy something nice. Instead of lame cranes.
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pats pats
you are thinking too much far too much.
From the way your bf does things for you, I really belives that he loves you a lot.
Sometimes is not how much u spent on someone but how much time you spend with him.
If you really love someone and the someone gives you a paper crane that he had folded by himself will you be very happy?
If you do not love the person, even he gives you 999 roses, you will not be happy too right?
My ex did something for me which I still treasure very much. She do not have much money back then but she took a one dollar note and folded it into a heart shape. On it she wrote nice and cute messages for me and she kissed it with her lipstick.I really missed her alot but she had already pass on and there was nothing I could do to save her back then.
I kept her love dollar note in a safe in the bank till today. As you can see it is not how much you spend on the person you love that counts but the thought behind it.
You have done your best for your bf and I believe he knows it deep inside his heart. I do not see the point in getting jealous over his ex.
Believe in yourself that you can be better then her, you may not win her in terms of looks but with a pure heart and giving your bf tender,loving care when he needs them, is more important than anything else.
I believe you can do it. Go for it girl we will back you all the way !! -
I think you are just inconfident about yourself.
So what if the ex is very pretty etc? It's all in the past. Now he has got you.
Usually I will only ask if I know that he loves her a lot then.. then their break up wasn't an amicable one.. I will ask before I get into a r/s with him.. I dun want and dun like to be a subsitite..unless I really love him a lot that I can give up my pride etc.. -
Originally posted by Kimosabe:I do have an ex. A terrible one. Thing is, I know I'm insecure. I can't help it. I'll tell you why. I used to have a family, then dad died. My mom's psycho and everything, and I got pregnant and came back to Singapore. Was studying in Melbourne. Mum kicked me out of the house, so I'm staying with my current boyfriend. My ex and mum are good friends, and he tells her many false things about me which she somehow believes, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. I went through an abortion, lost my twin boys, carried them for 5 months too...was intending to keep them, but complications occured.
During the time we were together, he was showing me some pictures of his trip to Sydney, well i know it wasn't intended...but it happened to be the cd the parents weren't supposed to see...aka them kissing and all that. That hurt.
Maybe you can call me childish for now, but me feeling insecure is inevitable because right now I've really lost everything. Trying to tell it like it is without feeling sorry for myself.
It must have been hard on you. I feel sad for you.
Girl, I know it's not easy..but do try to put the past behind you ya? You were going thru a rough patch..and I believe you must be feeling terrible for not being able to go back home when you actually have one.
Hopefully your current bf really loves you lots lots..
Wish you all the best... -
If everytime he broke some promises about his ex (eg promised you that will not contact her etc), or he is very upset if he ever finds out she is getting married or a new BF. i am sure he haven't gotten over her.
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Originally posted by Kimosabe:I have this wonderful boyfriend, but his ex is so pretty, so hot, and way more appealing than i am...she's got alot more going for her...so...I'm not sure if she's the best he's ever had and all that, because he doesn't really talk about his feelings...but I'd rather be hurt by the truth. IF the truth is what I think it is, at least. But...how...do I know he's gotten over her...? They were together for maybe 1 year plus...?
We will talk business here; give you an analogy.
Locally speaking, OSIM is probably the leading company dealing with those massage (health benefiting) products. Do you think JUST because of that, entrepreneurs are going to avoid entering into that industry... especially if it is a lucrative market?
Do you think just because you thought that his ex fair better than you in physical aspects means that his previous relationship MUST be better than your current one in any ways? And you having the negative thoughts, hinders the development and growth of the relationship when you should have spent THOSE mundane 'think-too-much' energy and effort, into something more constructive that could used to SELL yourself on a more positive note.
There are many times... where it's not about the products - it's about the marketing plan.
Your signature tells you this: It is the smallest gift given with the greatest love that matters most. Why ain't you heeding it?
Cheers -
ain't kimosabe a band? they did one of the songs in NFS:U
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I think so, yeap..Kimosabe was the name of a song in NFSU.
Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it. *mwah* I'm sure things will work out for us.
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
seldom see u around nowadays We will talk business here; give you an analogy.
Locally speaking, OSIM is probably the leading company dealing with those massage (health benefiting) products. Do you think JUST because of that, entrepreneurs are going to avoid entering into that industry... especially if it is a lucrative market?
Do you think just because you thought that his ex fair better than you in physical aspects means that his previous relationship MUST be better than your current one in any ways? And you having the negative thoughts, hinders the development and growth of the relationship when you should have spent THOSE mundane 'think-too-much' energy and effort, into something more constructive that could used to SELL yourself on a more positive note.
There are many times... where it's not about the products - it's about the marketing plan.
Your signature tells you this: [b]It is the smallest gift given with the greatest love that matters most. Why ain't you heeding it?
Cheers[/b]
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Wah rao eh, I am always here... you also know one. Of course you don't see me around... you attending to your wives elsewhere mah.Originally posted by sgboy2004:seldom see u around nowadays
Cheers -
Originally posted by Kimosabe:I have this wonderful boyfriend, but his ex is so pretty, so hot, and way more appealing than i am...she's got alot more going for her...so...I'm not sure if she's the best he's ever had and all that, because he doesn't really talk about his feelings...but I'd rather be hurt by the truth. IF the truth is what I think it is, at least. But...how...do I know he's gotten over her...? They were together for maybe 1 year plus...?
well, on a personal note, i feel that guys in general are usually quite "forgetful" one... we may claim to wait for our ex "forever", but once we have a steady gf, we would usu put more effort into the current r/s n forget wat we said to our ex...
anywayz, other than attracting him with outer beauty, i firmly believe u can capture ur bf's heart by treating him well... there's really no need to compare too much, and since he has given u assurance, i suggest u shld conc on making the r/s work rather than focusing on whether ur bf is still thinking abt his past r/s..
gd luck, yah?
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Everyone has a past Kimosabe... Though the fact that we have to live with them, doesn't mean that we would have to live IN them...?Originally posted by Kimosabe:But I love him so much. More than anything. I don't want to bring it up all the time. Its unfair to him. I have no idea now what to do. I only want to make things better but at the moment my resources are limited. VERY. Today is our anniversary and I can't even buy a flower for him. I know maybe material things don't really count, it doesn't of course, but I would love to give him something. I folded some cranes for him, but I ended up throwing it out one by one. Maybe that's not something valuable. Maybe if I sell some stuff I have, can get money and buy something nice. Instead of lame cranes.
Not meaning to shatter your dreams here.. But understand that life is always full of uncertainties.. Like what had happened to you previously...? But now? You're HAPPY again..?
But you can't be truly happy if you're worried...? Happiness is something which you allows through you... It simply can't come burging its way through if you keep your doors shut...
I say you should just TREASURE whatever you've got now...? It doesn't really matter what you buy him, make him... etc.. If your bf really loves you, he'll probably just love you for WHO you ARE... What you feel for him and how you care for him...?
Don't be dishearted because there're always so many ways to show your love for him... Alot which money simply can't buy... -
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you'll need trust in order to have long & lasting relationships.
why not gather all your courage and try asking him bout it.
good luck! -
i agree with brownbaobao
this is not about his ex ..
about your own insecurities...
look, he is with you isnt it?
she should be the one wondering why she is so hot and he is still stuck with you ! -
life is always full of uncertaintees.. when u are younger, u tend to say all the big words like u love him forever etc. so tat is normal.. dun think too much about it..