what should i do..
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its been a 8mths relationship.. more downs than ups. he's a sweet guy, very true. he used to be a flirt, but he changed already, i believed. things were going great. but we dont allow each other to be with the oppo sex, we're both easily jealousy kinda people.. very sensitive. as he used to twotime girls, i really dunno what made me fall for him, at times i regret it so, at times i don. we both lack the mutual trust very badly.. and thus, the security level is not met.
we quarrel very oftenly, sweet times were pretty short. we would meet one night, have fun, go back, things were still alright, till next morning, in school.. sure got things to quarrel again. i dunno what happened to him recently. he is a totally changed man. my frens asked me to just break and leave him, i've been thinking about it, its hard.. i know i sure can live without him.. but we have lessons together and things will be so awkward.. each time i see him, im sure memories will be back again..
the problem now is that.. he changed... suddenly i dunno wat came over him, he talks in that irritating tone like.. attitude liddat.. i didnt even do anything wrong.. he jus keeps finding faults with me.. im really tired.. i asked him if he still loves me, he said yes. and that he is finding faults with me deliberately. i asked him why, he replied 'don bother'.. then this morning i sent him an sms, kinda like to sweettalk him, i apologised even though i dunno wat i did.. i told him im really confused (as few days ago we were talkin abt breaking up).. i miss him alot and that he is my one and only. guess what he replied?? just a "whatever.." hais.. i dunno wat to reply him.. we're not smsing anymore...
im really confused... i was thinkin of ending this once and for all.. but... life's gonna be hard without him.. i'll miss him so much.... he's given me more than what i wanted... he's the greatest love of my life... we used to quarrel and then made up the next day.. but this time.. his attitude really pissed me off and it's been a week.. i dunno what to do.. can anyone advise me?? hais...
btw.. i did asked if he had found someone new.. sick and tired of me.. or if my presence annoys him this much.. or maybe he just doesnt love me anymore.. he said no to all.. plus he has no intentions of finding anyone new.. hais.. can anyone tell me what issit that he really wants?? -
i never believe that flirts can change.
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oh okay.. and yes i do know he is still fooling around in class with other girls.. but.. i closed an eye on that.. hais..Originally posted by dragg:i never believe that flirts can change. -
Absolutely CORRECT.... U've hitted the Bull's Eye my fren..Originally posted by dragg:i never believe that flirts can change.
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class??
don't mind me asking.. how old are you?
maybe maturity on both sides are lacking? -
we're both 16. we're in different classes, but for some classes we're band together.. hais i dunno.. but.. it jus feels so right, so happy with him.. he's a bit childish i would say.. maybe this is what happens when i hand my heart to an immature guy.. hais..Originally posted by the Bear:class??
don't mind me asking.. how old are you?
maybe maturity on both sides are lacking? -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:
Xiao meimei,
the problem now is that.. he changed... suddenly i dunno wat came over him, he talks in that irritating tone like.. attitude liddat.. i didnt even do anything wrong.. he jus keeps finding faults with me.. im really tired.. i asked him if he still loves me, he said yes. and that he is finding faults with me deliberately. i asked him why, he replied 'don bother'.. then this morning i sent him an sms, kinda like to sweettalk him, i apologised even though i dunno wat i did.. i told him im really confused (as few days ago we were talkin abt breaking up).. i miss him alot and that he is my one and only. guess what he replied?? just a "whatever.." hais.. i dunno wat to reply him.. we're not smsing anymore[b]...<<<---- he changed becoz HE WANNA DITCH YOU.
im really confused... i was thinkin of ending this once and for all.. but... life's gonna be hard without him.. i'll miss him so much.... he's given me more than what i wanted... he's the greatest love of my life... we used to quarrel and then made up the next day.. but this time.. his attitude really pissed me off and it's been a week.. i dunno what to do.. can anyone advise me?? hais... [/b]
8-months relationship is not long la... I understand how u feel... SERIOUS.
Tell u 1 thing... LET GO.... u must learn to let go....
IT's difficult, yes.... but in the end I also dunno how to tell u.. juz ask u to LET GO BABY... U may feel miserable... but it is a blessing for u.... -
i edited my first post, read again.. anyway.. he said he doesnt have anyone new and has no intentions of finding anyone new either.... hais.. then is he lying to me? hais.. its hard to let go... i don wish to let go... and why do you say its a blessing??Originally posted by gypises:Xiao meimei,
8-months relationship is not long la... I understand how u feel... SERIOUS. Many years back, young gypises(ahem ! Yours Truly) is juz like u BUT so many years history I dun wanna talk anymore...
Tell u 1 thing... LET GO.... u must learn to learn let go....
IT's difficult, yes.... but in the end I also dunno how to tell u.. juz ask u to LET GO BABY... U may feel miserable... but it is a blessing for u.... -
NO no no.... dun ask me to read again....
Saw u tell mR Bear u are 16 only?? Too young la... Y wanna commit in BGR?Originally posted by blueberryjam:i edited my first post, read again.. anyway.. he said he doesnt have anyone new and has no intentions of finding anyone new either.... hais.. then is he lying to me? hais.. its hard to let go... i don wish to let go... and why do you say its a blessing?? -
i think both are a bit...
where is the trust?
if there isn't any, remember this.. you sow a demon seed, you will raise a flower of fire...
that is, both of you are not even close to ready for anything...
be friends... and if in the future, the both of you grow, and if together.. let it happen then...Originally posted by blueberryjam:we're both 16. we're in different classes, but for some classes we're band together.. hais i dunno.. but.. it jus feels so right, so happy with him.. he's a bit childish i would say.. maybe this is what happens when i hand my heart to an immature guy.. hais.. -
Whether he bluff u anot, I am unable to tell coz am NOT a Lie-Detector....
But I can caution u.... DON"T be too gullible or naive.
Let me ask u back...... --->>>Y u do not wish to let go???W H Y???
Originally posted by blueberryjam:i edited my first post, read again.. anyway.. he said he doesnt have anyone new and has no intentions of finding anyone new either.... hais.. then is he lying to me? hais.. its hard to let go... i don wish to let go... and why do you say its a blessing?? -
we were only hi-bye frens in the beginning.. then i dunno where he got my number, so we started msging.. sorta became closer.. then together liao loh.. hais.. i guess this is the result when the "fairy tale" feelings are gone bahh.. hais..Originally posted by gypises: NO no no.... dun ask me to read again....
Saw u tell mR Bear u are 16 only?? Too young la... Y wanna commit in BGR? -
Too young.Originally posted by blueberryjam:we quarrel very oftenly, sweet times were pretty short. we would meet one night, have fun, go back, things were still alright, till next morning, in school.. sure got things to quarrel again.
Relationship got quarrel means many things wrong... -
im happy when with him.. even thou sometimes we quarrel and went on "silent date".. im still feeling happy inside.. plus.. i know 8mths to you guys aint long.. but to me.. its the best months of my life, yet.. so.. i mean.. i think its kinda pity to just stash everything i had for 8mths away.. and im still into him.. hais..Originally posted by gypises:Whether he bluff u anot, I am unable to tell coz am NOT a Lie-Detector....
But I can caution u.... DON"T be too gullible or naive.
Let me ask u back...... --->>>Y u do not wish to let go???W H Y??? -
but the only problem we quarrel about is being too close with the oppo sex.. and even thou we both promised to stay away from the oppo sex, we never seem to keep our promise.. we cant make it a point to compromise each other..i dunno why this thing keeps happening.. but.. we did try to avoid.. still, we both also believed that no one can live w/o interacting with the oppo sex. ermm. contradicting huh?? oh well...Originally posted by mach10:Too young.
Relationship got quarrel means many things wrong... -
Wow.. u so easy kena HOOK. Since u said Fairy Tale's feeling are over, then it's time for u to wake up... Don't think of it anymore.... Treat it as a Dream....
Life is like a book.... there are many chapters in the book... U have to continue to other chapter when u finish reading and NOT staying in tne romantic chapter and dun wanna let go (hoping for miracle)Originally posted by blueberryjam:we were only hi-bye frens in the beginning.. then i dunno where he got my number, so we started msging.. sorta became closer.. then together liao loh.. hais.. i guess this is the result when the "fairy tale" feelings are gone bahh.. hais.. -
how close is close?Originally posted by blueberryjam:but the only problem we quarrel about is being too close with the oppo sex.. and even thou we both promised to stay away from the oppo sex, we never seem to keep our promise.. we cant make it a point to compromise each other..i dunno why this thing keeps happening.. but.. we did try to avoid.. still, we both also believed that no one can live w/o interacting with the oppo sex. ermm. contradicting huh?? oh well... -
8 months of happily happily 2gether makes u cling onto this relationship???
Dun 4get young girl, once u made a wrong decision, U'll suffer in his hand for...... 8 years.......... 80 years...............88 years.. etc...
Now u break u feel miserable, What if.. I'm asking What if next time 1 years plus 2 years later he wanna break with u AGAIN... then what u going to do???? When that time comes, u'll feel even more miserable..................x10, x100.....
Potato Boils only ONCE girl --->>>LET GO (becoz of u, I type another time)Originally posted by blueberryjam:im happy when with him.. even thou sometimes we quarrel and went on "silent date".. im still feeling happy inside.. plus.. i know 8mths to you guys aint long.. but to me.. its the best months of my life, yet.. so.. i mean.. i think its kinda pity to just stash everything i had for 8mths away.. and im still into him.. hais.. -
how close is close?Originally posted by mach10:how close is close?
ermm.. he doesnt reali like me walking with guys in corridors.. talk to them or.. ehh jus have anything to do with guys loh.. whenever he sees guys' msgs in my phone.. he's unhappy. hais.. i don really like him with his class girls too.. and the problem is.. we're both happy and popular WITH THE OPPO SEx.. so....... hais....... problems keep surfacing loh.. hais... -
that also don't like??
sheesh! both of you are SUPREMELY IMMATURE!!
grow up a little first?
heck!! grow up a lot first!
seriously... both of you are not ready!! not even close!!Originally posted by blueberryjam:how close is close?
ermm.. he doesnt reali like me walking with guys in corridors.. talk to them or.. ehh jus have anything to do with guys loh.. whenever he sees guys' msgs in my phone.. he's unhappy. hais.. i don really like him with his class girls too.. and the problem is.. we're both happy and popular WITH THE OPPO SEx.. so....... hais....... problems keep surfacing loh.. hais... -
What happened?? Server got problem?
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Originally posted by the Bear:that also don't like??
sheesh! both of you are SUPREMELY IMMATURE!!
grow up a little first?
heck!! grow up a lot first!
seriously... both of you are not ready!! not even close!! It has been a long time since i see you getting worked up.
Good to see ya around. -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:its been a 8mths relationship.. more downs than ups. he's a sweet guy, very true. he used to be a flirt, but he changed already, i believed. things were going great. but we dont allow each other to be with the oppo sex, we're both easily jealousy kinda people.. very sensitive. as he used to twotime girls, i really dunno what made me fall for him, at times i regret it so, at times i don. we both lack the mutual trust very badly.. and thus, the security level is not met.
we quarrel very oftenly, sweet times were pretty short. we would meet one night, have fun, go back, things were still alright, till next morning, in school.. sure got things to quarrel again. i dunno what happened to him recently. he is a totally changed man. my frens asked me to just break and leave him, i've been thinking about it, its hard.. i know i sure can live without him.. but we have lessons together and things will be so awkward.. each time i see him, im sure memories will be back again..
the problem now is that.. he changed... suddenly i dunno wat came over him, he talks in that irritating tone like.. attitude liddat.. i didnt even do anything wrong.. he jus keeps finding faults with me.. im really tired.. i asked him if he still loves me, he said yes. and that he is finding faults with me deliberately. i asked him why, he replied 'don bother'.. then this morning i sent him an sms, kinda like to sweettalk him, i apologised even though i dunno wat i did.. i told him im really confused (as few days ago we were talkin abt breaking up).. i miss him alot and that he is my one and only. guess what he replied?? just a "whatever.." hais.. i dunno wat to reply him.. we're not smsing anymore...
im really confused... i was thinkin of ending this once and for all.. but... life's gonna be hard without him.. i'll miss him so much.... he's given me more than what i wanted... he's the greatest love of my life... we used to quarrel and then made up the next day.. but this time.. his attitude really pissed me off and it's been a week.. i dunno what to do.. can anyone advise me?? hais...
btw.. i did asked if he had found someone new.. sick and tired of me.. or if my presence annoys him this much.. or maybe he just doesnt love me anymore.. he said no to all.. plus he has no intentions of finding anyone new.. hais.. can anyone tell me what issit that he really wants??
What makes you think that he has changed overnight and NOT returning back to his usual self? He hasn't changed abit, he's merely being himself, isn't it?
I always ask this favourite question whenever people dated known flirts (first began on my tudi) - considering the whole list of ex-es, what makes you think you would be the one who will change him/her? Everyone before you tried and failed (or couldn't be bothered), so what are the chances?
These people may change eventually, but if you want to be the ONE who initiate the movement, you have to satisfy certain criteria and alot of emotional endurance. To the common folk, such criteria would probably be deem as 'luck', but it is actually more than that and that would include heavily on the topic of AOS. IMHO, there are only two reasons why nothing works:
I) You are part of the statistic. You behave and mimic the same psychological and emotional feel of all his past gf. You are not any different and in fact, just like them. You can't change him because your predecessor failed as well.
II) Astrologically speaking, you wouldn't be the one who change him. Someone had to provide him with the hard lesson and that person may not be you.
CloUdiSm warned of such relationship, especially when you are viewing and handling it in a form of a serious, committed relationship (of course, it doesn't matter if you are also a player in this game of love). The default law states: 'Avoid first as it's better to be the second.' The person who changed the player isn't always the person he/she will end up with - very likely, it's the second candidate.
P.S: If he wants to remain hostile to you, what kind of love do you foresee? Remember, it's not you - it's him. Love cannot assimilate into the unwilling and if he doesn't want the relationship AND treat it like he doesn't want, then forget it. The power of love can create wonders, but it only reserve for hearts who desire to see its magic.
Cheers -
Originally posted by blueberryjam:
The question sounds pointless. We don't know the person, so we could give you all sorts of answers and still not even come close.
i was thinkin of ending this once and for all.. but... life's gonna be hard without him.. i'll miss him so much.... he's given me more than what i wanted... he's the greatest love of my life... we used to quarrel and then made up the next day.. but this time.. his attitude really pissed me off and it's been a week.. i dunno what to do.. can anyone advise me?? hais...
btw.. i did asked if he had found someone new.. sick and tired of me.. or if my presence annoys him this much.. or maybe he just doesnt love me anymore.. he said no to all.. plus he has no intentions of finding anyone new.. hais.. can anyone tell me what issit that he really wants??
Noticed something from some of your old threads?
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=132954
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=131525
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=74041
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=71027
Your troubles seem to be recurring, don't they? You asked for advice, but the advice given in the old threads weren't very effective, were they? You could change boyfriends, but somehow you are still stuck with similar types of boys who give you similar heartaches over and over. A bit strange, don't you think? Maybe the problem doesn't lie with the boys?
Anyway, you're still young and there'd be lots of opportunities for you to meet guys -- hopefully better ones -- when you grow older. Perhaps you should just let your heart take a break and put your mind to your school books. Don't want to sound like your mother, but at least you could help yourself solve problems like:
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=141779
Taking the time and energy spent on your relationships and investing them on your studies would probably yield better returns, don't you think?
Love won't feed you.
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Yeah.... Kinda a meaningless 'compromise'.... Just like a person struggling with his hands and legs in the water... Trying to keep afloat but doesn't know the strokes...Originally posted by blueberryjam:but the only problem we quarrel about is being too close with the oppo sex.. and even thou we both promised to stay away from the oppo sex, we never seem to keep our promise.. we cant make it a point to compromise each other..i dunno why this thing keeps happening.. but.. we did try to avoid.. still, we both also believed that no one can live w/o interacting with the oppo sex. ermm. contradicting huh?? oh well...